Available Balance
What keeps women stick to their unfaithful partners
February 18, 2017
27
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Human nature is such a mysterious thing that it keeps me wondering about how it works. I find many people suffering in their relationships but still sticking to it.

At one side people show love and care about their life partners and at the other side they let them down by being fascinated about others, staring at them or having friendship with hidden intentions with them .Even some times they either show off their love for their partner or put them down in order to draw the attention of their interest.

I think this can be the most insulting situation for the partner who is being used for such a mean purpose, and the person who does this kind of behavior must be a really mean person.

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This behavior is common in men and the victims are women who are mostly and commonly taken for granted by their life partners .They are always expected to be loving ,caring ,understanding ,supportive , no matter how they are treated .If they try to object ,complain or show their disapproval to the unfaithful behavior they are made to feel bad ,wrong .Many times they face extreme response if they try to protest.

Now the matter of mysteriousness comes again, after suffering this type of mean treatment for years they choose to stick to the relationship .No matter how many fights they had because of that, they still try to be with the same person who had let them down many times and will do it again according to his convenience .

Few women find the courage to end these kinds of relationships others never dare to do that.

I ask why? what is the reason behind it?

If you are reading this, I would like to ask you what you think. Do you think its normal behavior that a person who is in a relationship keeps wandering or being a little unfaithful with his life partner?

Is it over reaction if the partner of such person objects and gets upset .What should she do? DO you feel fine if your wife or husband have a habit of staring on opposite sex?





    1. Women tern to stick to their unfaithful partners on the following bases 1. when the partner is good in bed. women do not like to let go of guys who are very good in bed and who make them feel like a woman in bed.
      2. Women find it difficult to leave their guys when they are the source of their livelihood. Without the guys financial support, they can not survive on their own so they have to stay by their partners no matter how much they get hurt.
      3. Women will stay by their guys no matter how many times they cheat on them if the guys are celebraties and well known memebers of society. this are some of the few ideas i can share on why women still stay with their unfaithful partners.

      • I would like to say that you have well observed human nature. I see your point and with you. But if we pick point one that if the guy is good in bed woman don’t want to let him go, okay but what about dignity, selfrespect? Don’t these women suffer emotionally?
        About point two, yes source of livelihoods is really a sad but true reason.
        About point three you again told the cruel truth. I would like to know your views about men thinking there is nothing wrong staring at others even if their spouse is besides them.

    2. In some cases, which I should really write an article about, women are in the relationship for other reasons besides love. Money, position, power. In other cases, the woman might have her own life which is hidden by his unfaithfulness.

      I can tell a fantastic event in which a particular man who had a lot of lovers and was unbelievably unfaithful was ‘never caught’ by his wife who had a long lasting and loving relationship with the man who worked on the property.

      • I agree that money, position, power can be strong reasons to keep women stick to their unfaithful husbands, but these women do that on the cost of their dignity, selfrespect, happiness. I don’t think they could ever feel inner peace. Yes if they have their own unfaithful secret lives hidden by his, that’s also a big reason to keep them stick. Then there is no true love, no peace of mind, no honesty and the whole relationship is fake.

    3. It is but natural to admire beauty. Thus, if my husband would look at a beautiful girl, it’s okay with me as long as I know that it is just an admiration. I know fully well, that it is me he loves and that’s what is important.

      As a wife, you can feel if your husband doesn’t love you. And when that happens you should make ways to regain the lost love. But if despite making that effort and still your husband’s love cannot be regained, then it is the time to separate from him and file annulment or divorce to free each other already.

      What’s the use of being in a relationship when one doesn’t love the other already .

      • You are right, it’s normal to admire beauty and we all do it. But sometimes people specially men have a habit of do not miss to get the glance of every female passing through, that I really find disgusting. May be it is some kind of personality disorder or mental illness.
        There can be a case of that husband really loves his wife but find it’s fine to be a little unfaithful according to his convenience. I think this situation makes the wife confused about how to react because she knows that he loves her but at the same time he is unfaithful.
        So you suggest that in this condition they should be saperated?

    4. Actually this is mentally stroma found in greedy people not only in men but also in women.

      • You are right that it’s a mental stroma. It is really an illness and some people who suffer from this some times don’t realise that it’s a disorder and if someone try to get them aware they can react extremely bad.

    5. It is not only in men population. Some women are starting to be like the opposite sex. We are in a modern world and everything change. In terms of gender equality, both sexes are involving oneself to betrayal. During the old days, we can say that women are so submissive to their partner. But the silence of women had been break free to such situation. Women are so empowered and it can do whatever the men can do. The sad thing, the negative behavior had been adapted. Men are polygamy in nature but it is not all. It is also the same thing in women. Not all women stay to be martyr to their partner.

      • I agree with you that this kind of behaviour is found in women also. You are saying true that the world is modern and women are pursuing their dreams and have an attitude of go get what you want. They are enjoying the freedom given by changing society, independence and may be a few of them are not so faithful to their partners but most of the women are more faithful and responsible than men.

    6. It is never good if a partner is unfaithful or abusive and even ogling other men/women is bad in my book. The sad thing is that many people stay in an abusive relationship because they are so sure things will change. Most people try to leave three or four times before they do so. I think the fear of being unattached and alone and coping financially all play their part.

      • Most people never leave even if they are sure that the person will never change because they love the person so much even after all his bad deeds. Sometimes hope plays the important role to keep them stay.
        Definitely fear of being alone and financial matters are also responsible for keeping them stick.

    7. Me personally I would kick him to the curb. I think it probably differs for each women, they could be financially reliable on there partner so they have no where else to go, or they could believe the person will change or they could be to scared to leave them due to emotional and physical abuse.

      • I love your comment. You are absolutely right that it differs for each woman. No place to go and hope of change keep them stay. Fear of abuse is also a sad but true point.

    8. Love, Love, Love!!
      Love they say is the most powerful spell, most of the time this love keeps the victim spell bound, i call this blind love.

      Some times, the women think this guy who is hurting them is irreplaceble, so they can’t imagine leaving.

      But i don’t like relationships where a partner is unfaithful, if you are tired of a relationship. . you can call it off instead of hurting the feelings and emotion of the other spouse pretending you love her/him.

      • You are absolutely right about love. Most of the time it’s love which keep the victim stick to the unfaithful partner. Love is blind and very powerful emotion and it’s love which becomes weakness. This weakness comes in the way of courage to leave the partner.

    9. Some people are just to afraid to be alone in life so they decide to stay with their partners even if they are not interested or are being unfaithful.

      These are the people with low self of steem and they think that they aren’t good enough to find someone better in life.

      Sometimes these people also don’t have good friends to get them to see what they really need. They don’t have those people that tell them that they deserve better.

      • Yes, you are right, that is also a case that they lack self esteem and self confidence, so they don’t want to risk what they have at least. To take bold steps or to make a strong decision requires brave personality.
        Having genuine well wishers can help them to see things in big frame, but not everyone so lucky.

    10. It is natural for most women to be so patient and forgiving though they had been abused physically or mentally by their partners. This makes them vulnerable to such maltreatment.

      • Yes, many women face these situations in their lives but suffer silently because of many reasons. Their tolerance gives strength to the unfaithful partner to do whatever he wants.

    11. women like to move with gentlemen and sometimes it goes wrong. It does not mean they are not clever to choose their partners or friends. They believe mostly unlike male who will not mingle whole heartedly

    12. Your question is multi-dimensional in nature. It is true that it hurts to see a behaviour which is not common. But the solution to it does not lie in blaming a person and sympathising with the helplessness of the other person. If we are really concerned the problem has to be seen in true perspective…and its solution lies in understanding and appreciating the various aspects of the same.

      First, whether is it really a serious issue if a person gets attracted to the other sex more than normal. Or worse, has a tendency to get embroiled in shoddy acts. There are two parts to it again.
      – Such attraction is a part of animal instinct. It is the role of the ego or the superego to channelize it into socially acceptable behaviour. Most of people succeed in this channelization. But this person is not. So the issue is not lying in his attraction but in his channelization which means the solution has to be found out in some other deeper psychological malaise hidden deep within his self. A prolonged and able counselling should be of help, provided the other person consents and co-operates. Otherwise too, the affected person may seek counselling to tackle the issue at the acceptance level.
      – If the issue is not that intense and his ‘unfaithfulness’ is only a matter of perception. Say his seeing attractive members of opposite sex may actually turn up the hornet’s nest in the mind of the spouse. Many a times this is called possessiveness. In these situations, even normal behaviour of the person is perceived as dangerous to the spouse. This is another check, in that case it is the spouse’ insecurity which needs urgent addressing.

      Secondly, if this issue is really serious, then what are the solutions?
      – Whether it can be accepted and walked along with? If this can be done, then nothing like it, then focus on long-term healing by trying to get into the deeper problems by counselling or other means.
      – If not then, go by laissez faire policy and let differences persist but instead of immersing oneself in the blues of betrayal, look at oneself with respect and pick up your strand of things which interest you. If the person has some genuine reasons for this behaviour, say overbearing spouse, a brief lull and allowance to the other person might well give the other person the much required personal space to sort things out by his own self. Of course, this may not mend that way if the other person’s ‘faithlessness’ is occuring out of some deeper problem in his psyche. In such a situation, the spouse must plan a life factoring in that allowance. It is well said, “When you cannot solve a problem, accept it.” The pains reduce to manageable levels. After all, it is not the problem which is the devil but the associated pain of non-acceptance which actually does the actual damage to oneself and also the relationship.
      – Finally, if your conditioning prevents you from even accepting it, then the only solution remains is parting ways. Though psychologically speaking this is not a solution at all, but there is no other alternative if due to lack of understanding the intricacies, one cannot either solve the problem or can accept it.

      (Sorry for the long post. In fact, this merited a full blog posting….haha)

    13. Your question is multi-dimensional in nature. It is true that it hurts to see a behaviour which is not common. But the solution to it does not lie in blaming a person and sympathising with the helplessness of the other person. If we are really concerned the problem has to be seen in true perspective…and its solution lies in understanding and appreciating the various aspects of the same.

      First, whether is it really a serious issue if a person gets attracted to the other sex more than normal. Or worse, has a tendency to get embroiled in shoddy acts. There are two parts to it again.
      – Such attraction is a part of animal instinct. It is the role of the ego or the superego to channelize it into socially acceptable behaviour. Most of people succeed in this channelization. But this person is not. So the issue is not lying in his attraction but in his channelization which means the solution has to be found out in some other deeper psychological malaise hidden deep within his self. A prolonged and able counselling should be of help, provided the other person consents and co-operates. Otherwise too, the affected person may seek counselling to tackle the issue at the acceptance level.
      – If the issue is not that intense and his ‘unfaithfulness’ is only a matter of perception. Say his seeing attractive members of opposite sex may actually turn up the hornet’s nest in the mind of the spouse. Many a times this is called possessiveness. In these situations, even normal behaviour of the person is perceived as dangerous to the spouse. This is another check, in that case it is the spouse’ insecurity which needs urgent addressing.

      Secondly, if this issue is really serious, then what are the solutions?
      – Whether it can be accepted and walked along with? If this can be done, then nothing like it, then focus on long-term healing by trying to get into the deeper problems by counselling or other means.
      – If not then, go by laissez faire policy and let differences persist but instead of immersing oneself in the blues of betrayal, look at oneself with respect and pick up your strand of things which interest you. If the person has some genuine reasons for this behaviour, say overbearing spouse, a brief lull and allowance to the other person might well give the other person the much required personal space to sort things out by his own self. Of course, this may not mend that way if the other person’s ‘faithlessness’ is occuring out of some deeper problem in his psyche. In such a situation, the spouse must plan a life factoring in that allowance. It is well said, “When you cannot solve a problem, accept it.” The pains reduce to manageable levels. After all, it is not the problem which is the devil but the associated pain of non-acceptance which actually does the actual damage to oneself and also the relationship.
      – Finally, if your conditioning prevents you from even accepting it, then the only solution remains is parting ways. Though psychologically speaking this is not a solution at all, but there is no other alternative if due to lack of understanding the intricacies, one cannot either solve the problem or can accept it.

      (Sorry for the long post. In fact, this could be a full blog posting….haha)

    14. There are so many different variables, it’s hard to say. I think that mostly, people who stick to their unfaithful partners, are simply lonely themselves.

      Or, perhaps, their faith doesn’t allow them to divorce.

    15. First thing its not only men who are backstabbers all the time and nor would I say that only women do it. I have witnessed both the genders cheating each other and that to in many cases. Now as far leaving the partner for both men and women its obviously wont be so easy. It would be hard to explain as you really need to be in the shoes of the person who is facing it. Because people speak both the ways if someone leaves the partner they will say he or she dint even give their relation a try and the other way round would be why don’t you leave him or her. But tell me one thing what will that person do after he has left his partner you know how the world looks at women who have left their partners. Life is not so easy for women without a man besides her side. With all due respect I am not disrespecting women from any point, but its really not easy to say that leave the partner and settle down elsewhere. And one more thing no matter how strong men might be but they always need a women for their mental support and that might be the reason they also might leave their partners who might be cheating them.

    16. i dont know who stick to her partner if not faithful, they are few who do that women now are educated and know that there are faithful good men so they dot really sstick to unfaithful partner, and if they used to , now im sure they dont, who needs unfaithful partner? that is the base thing in partnership to be faithful, what is left is nothing if your patner is unfaithful, even if you have kids being without partner like that is much better and you may find a good one in the future, even though with out him life is sure better nd more beaiutiful, faithful partners make life even more good

    17. It is too subjective. Women who are too inferior and infirm with their emotion have that tendency not to go against their will besides it is edified by their love for their husband. Men by nature is enemy to God. If they only know that, they would strive to overcome that tendency. Both men and women have their emotional frailties until they make them for good use everything would be okay.

      By the way going back to the infidelity tendency of a man and the martyrdom of a woman. I said earlier that it is subjective for it all depends on both of them. Man cheats his wife because he has submitted himself to the temptation of another woman who is better than his wife. Or she was tempted for his wealth and personality. And it is the other way around too.

      The only solution and I have found it is LOVE. It is the true manifestation of love is. Man or woman won’t cheat each other when their love is beyond measure, if not if they do their procreation and spiritual responsibility and accountability before the eyes of God. Pointing fingers won’t solve the infidelity among men and women. Loving them, telling them what is right and what is wrong according to the will of God suffice the best solution to that problem.

      It seems difficult but it is possible. So be it.

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