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8 BAD HABITS THAT RUIN RELATIONSHIP.
April 19, 2018
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8 Bad habits to avoid that are ruining your relationship

When a couple has been together for some time, the little habits, that used to just mildly irritate, can escalate into really big issues that can ruin a relationship. The problem is though, with habits, we barely notice ourselves doing these things and we don’t even realize that they are annoying. When you first fall in love, you don’t really care about some of these little annoying traits that your partner has, but after a few years they can really begin to grate. We’ve compiled a list of the top eight habits that can ruin a relationship, so check it out and see if you, or your partner, are guilty of any of these:

  1. Checking up on your partner

You might think it’s completely innocent to casually check his phone or email, but everyone has a right to some privacy. If you need to check on his every movement during the day and know where he is all the time, then your lack of trust will eventually cause a problem in your relationship.

  1. Keeping score

Forgive and forget should be the bywords of a relationship and if you are keeping a note of every single little mistake that he makes then this is going to get tiresome. Even things like who did the dishes last or who took the rubbish out really shouldn’t matter between a loving couple, and constant score keeping is only going to cause unnecessary tension.

  1. Nit Picking

Are you someone for whom nothing is done right unless you do it yourself? If, every time he cleans the bathroom, you point out that he’s missed a bit or if he puts round the vacuum cleaner and you immediately do it again yourself, you are going to stop him even trying. Constant picking at everything he does will make him feel unwanted and not valued and he will give up and go out with his friends instead.

  1. Criticising his family

You are putting yourself in a difficult position, if you are constantly criticising his family. Even he, himself, probably thinks, at times, that his family is annoying, but he’s allowed to say that, you are not. No one likes to hear others running down their own flesh and blood, and if you do it too often, you are going to make this a bigger issue, than it really is.

  1. Raising awkward subjects at the wrong times

There are right times to discuss important issues and there are wrong times. Just because the time is right for you, doesn’t mean the time is right for him. Raising a thorny issue like finances or a problem with the kids, the second he walks through the door after work, is only going to stress him out even more. The other one to avoid is raising difficult topics right after lovemaking: ‘That was great; did you know we are overdrawn at the bank again?’ That’s not cool!

  1. Arguing in public

Bite your tongue until you get home! You may well need to get something off your chest, but arguing in public, or worse, around his parents’ home, is really going to drive your partner mad. If you find yourselves regularly arguing in public, then this is something that needs to be changed – you need to talk about it in private.

  1. Using the silent treatment

Never use the silent treatment to punish your partner; it will only cause even more resentment and bad feelings. Practicing the art of silence is never going to solve anything and, if you are both at it, someone has to give up eventually or you might as well not be together at all.

  1. Ignoring your partner

No one likes to be ignored, it’s even worse than being shouted at. Ignoring a person is the same as saying to them that they are so unimportant to you that you can’t even be bothered to talk to him. If you are ignoring each other on a regular basis and barely even acknowledge each other’s existence, then you have a real problem on your hands that needs be resolved.

Do you have some other relationship tips to share?

Stay happy!

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HAPPY MARRIED LIFE IS POSSIBLE

Happy married life is indeed possible for those who are ready to give what it demands. Marriage was instituted by God for the good of humanity, and it is designed to make life great, and complete. Here, I want to discuss few steps that keep happiness in marriage.

1. FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is one of the ingredients that can always keep the spices in marriage working. Many people find it difficult to say ‘I am sorry, forgive me’.  This requires understanding and living peaceably with one another, including your spouse. Don’t give room to the devil by allowing hatred in your relationship. Learn to forgive your spouse when he or she offends you, and ask for forgiveness when you offend your spouse. We must allow mercy to prevail, no matter the offence.

Some men find it difficult to say” I’m sorry, please forgive me,” because of their ego. Don’t let ego stand between you and a happy marriage. Inability to forgive and ask for forgiveness by either spouse is a reason for problems in many homes today.

Hebrews 12:14 advises that we ” follow peace with all men…”

Following peace with all men – inclusive of your spouse.

2. FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

Financial matters can not be removed from a happy marriage. It is not the big volume of money in your marriage that gives you rest, but rest comes from being a good manager of money. As a man, it’s your responsibility to locate a job that can yield profit. Your spouse should know your source of income and how much you earn, so she doesn’t make unnecessary demands. Avoid selfishness; give to each other. Build trust in your spouse in financial matters. As a spouse always make sure you have a record of your expenses for the purpose of accountability. Spouses need to be accountable, both to God and to one another. Responsibility and accountability prevent financial trouble and division in the home.

3. ENJOY YOUR IN-LAWS

Having a harmonious relationship with your in-laws contributes to making a happy home. It is your responsibility to build a peaceful relationship with them, treat them as you would treat your blood relations. Recognize that you have a responsibility, no matter how little. Take time to get to know your in-laws and show them the love of Christ. Learn to relate with them, because they all play a part in your spouse’s life, therefore accepting them is a seed of love that guarantee a positive harvest in your marriage.

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what is hate of the world and people
March 28, 2018
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ate, as a mode of guilt or of pride, generates destructive thoughts (but at a lesser intensity than paranoia). Antithetical thoughts, when directed to other people, represent pride ; when directed to oneself, represent guilt. [¹]. At a much lesser intensity of denigration, criticisms of other people represent jealousy, whilst criticisms of myself arise from my sense of idealism.

Hate by itself is the emotional dynamic of the ability to sustain long periods of concentration and meditation. It does not require an object to focus on (it mirrors pure love in this respect) ; it is a general-purpose tool for cutting positive attachments, especially in relationships (for example, pride in hate mode rejects another person, whereas hate by itself rejects any pleasant attachment to the other person). Hate produces clear thinking and strengthens a person’s will power. It supports the desire for solitude. It cools the mind and may easily be mistaken for a mild sense of peace. It is likely to be the prevailing mood when a meditator claims that they are no longer acting from a sense of ego. The skilful way of using hate is to clear the mind of redundant attachments and desires.

Hate has more corrosive effects on the soul and life of a hater than to the hated. It is a psychoanalytical problem of the hater. What are the sources or reasons of hate? In which part of society is hate more prevalent? In learnt and educated or in people who are less exposed to education and weaker in reasoning or just equally rampant irrespective of education and reasoning capabilities? What do you think cures hate ?

The Hate Study

In 2008, two scientists decided to launch a study to investigate whether the emotion of hatred was rooted in some consistent biology. Their first problem, in framing this study, was narrowing down the vast menagerie of different kinds of hatred. They decided that they’d begin their study by asking one human to hate another human. Even then, they knew that their request wasn’t all that specific. As the scientists, Semir Zeki and John Paul Romaya, wrote in the study itself, “Hatred against an individual may be seemingly irrational and rooted in remote anthropological instincts. Hate based on race or religion would probably fall under this heading. On the other hand, an individual may trace the hatred to a past injustice and hence find a justifiable source for it. There are no doubt many other ways in which the sentiment can be sub

Still, they hoped that by confining the study of hatred to the hatred of an individual, they might see a consistent pattern. They asked subjects to stare first at the picture of a person the subjects had neutral feelings toward, and then at the picture of someone they hated. The subjects did this while hooked up to an MRI, allowing the researchers to see which parts of the brain were activated and deactivated. Doctors Zeki and Romaya were gratified to find that everyone in the study hated individuals the same way. The parts of the brain activated, the medial frontal gyrus, the right putamen, the medial insula, and the premotor cortex, have come to be known as the “hate circuit.”

The premotor cortex is one part of the brain that springs into action when people have feelings of aggression. When we hate, at least part of us is preparing for a physical attack. The frontal gyrus deals with self-awareness, and is involved in go/no go decisions. This part of the brain seems to be in league, however tentatively with the premotor cortex. Haters using the “hate circuit,” then, seem to always be wondering if it’s the right time to move against the object of their hatred.

Hate, Love, and Judgement

The putamen and the insula make the hate circuit more interesting. Both of these areas light up on an MRI when the person being probed is experiencing feelings of romantic love. The researchers think this may be why people so often pair love and hatred, two seemingly antithetical emotions.

It may be more complicated than that. The putamen gets engaged when people are in love, but it also activates when people feel contempt or disgust. Damage to the putamen and the insula can make people incapable of recognizing disgust on other people’s faces. The putamen also lights up when a person is planning aggressive acts. The putamen, then, might represent the dark side of love – the side that attacks a rival, or feels sick with jealousy at a loved one’s behavior.

Hate is characterized not just by areas of brain activity but by areas of brain inactivity. The superior frontal gyrus is correlated with self-awareness and laughter, so it’s not surprising that it’s repressed when a person hates. The particular section that is deactivated, the researchers note, is near a section of the brain which, when repressed, seems to increase obsessive-compulsive behavior. When we hate, we fail to laugh, and we may get a bit obsessive.

Areas escaping deactivation include the areas of the brain that deal out judgment. This is one of the major ways that the hate circuit differs from the brain activity of a person in love. When we love someone, we shut off the part of our brain that judges – a trait that, we hope, has led to more happiness than sorrow. When we hate someone, we leave the judgment part of our brain a’blazing.

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dont let love define who u are
March 28, 2018
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Don’t let the word love define your LOVE

Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can experience. The strange think is, that almost nobody knows what love is. Why is it so difficult to find love? That is easy to understand, if you know that the word “love” is not the same as one’s feeling of love.

The word “love” is used and abused for the expression of different sets of feelings.

The word love is used as an expression of affection towards someone else (I love you) but it also expresses pleasure (I love chocolate). To make it a little more complicated, the word “love” also expresses a human virtue that is based on compassion, affection and kindness. This is a state of being, that has nothing to do, with something or someone outside yourself. This is the purest form of Love.

The ancient Greek used 7 words to define the different states of love:

Storge: natural affection, the love you share with your family.

Philia: the love that you have for friends.

Eros: sexual and erotic desire kind of love (positive or negative)

Agape: this is the unconditional love, or divine love

Ludus: this is playful love, like childish love or flirting.

Pragma: long standing love. The love in a married couple.

Philautia: the love of the self (negative or positive)

These are 7 different kind of feelings. The love you feel for your partner is not the same as the love you feel for your mother. Even the love for your partner changes in time. You feel different emotions for different situations and people.

But still, we use the same word. It is easy to understand that a confusion is easy made while communicating. I can say “I love you” to two different people (and mean it), but I am actually feeling in a different way.

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This confusion is not only the case while 2 people are talking, your own brain does not get it.

What you feel is controlled by the right side of your brain and language is controlled by your left side. If you use the word “love” 10 times a day with different situations, it losses power. Your left part or your brain does not get fully activated when you really mean “I love you” and want to get exited about it. 50% of your brain is a lot.

The first thing that you need to do is learn the differences of the (7?) states of love. Not the words, but how they feel. It is easy if you recognize the words. It is basic training. Awareness, that is the secret to love.

Love is a practice, it is not something you find or don’t find. You can practice love for the rest of your life.

Don’t abuse the word love. Use other words where you are not addressing emotion towards other people.

Example: I love chocolate, becomes: I enjoy chocolate. I love my job, becomes: I have passion for what I do.

Enjoying, loving and passion are 3 different emotions. It is essential to learn (again) the true meaning of words, not merely to communicate with someone else, but also so learn to experience them. Words are very powerful instruments. Not only to communicate with others, but also with your self. The words you use, creates awareness and eventually your reality.

If you use words wisely, you can learn to recognize what kind of love you are feeling, and enjoy the different kinds of love. With one person of different ones.

If you don’t know how to find love with in you, you will never find it outside you.

Words are agreements to express ideas or feelings. The meaning of words is not absolute, it is always a personal interpretation. The group of feelings associated with the word “love” is difficult to understand, and even more difficult to express to other person. Let put is this way: it is impossible with only one word.

With the creation of a word, you can give it a special meaning. Some lovers create words to express what they feel to each other. A word creates and agreement or memories. This moments can be repeated when you use that word or when you think about it.

In other languages exist words, related to love, that expresses different situations that don’t have a translation to English. When you know this words, you recognize this feelings. You get more grip in what you are experiencing.

Beautiful words in other languages:

Yuanfen (Chinese): A love relationship that has been established by lot, based on principles of Chinese culture.

Mamihlapinatapei (Yaghan): A look that without words is shared by two people who want to initiate something, but neither start.

Cafuné (Brazilian Portugees): Slowly stroking your fingers through someone else’s hair.

Retrouvailles (France): The happiness of seeing someone again after a long time.

La Douleur Exquise (France): The enormous pain in your heart when you desire someone you cannot have.

Ya’aburnee (Arabic): The hope that you will die earlier than the other, so you don’t need to live without the other.

Forelsket (Nordic): The euphoria you feel when you fall in love for the first time.

Saudade (Portugees): The feeling of longing for someone you love, but is far away.

This “moments” are so important in other cultures that they have words to express them. My point is, don’t use just one word to define your love. Learn this “words” and recognize them when you are living them.

With love, you get what you put in

Love is an emotion in action. You can learn how to feel and cultivate your love… First learn and know the different situations of love. Learn how to recognize them when you are feeling them. Then you go and share your love with others.

Love between 2 people can only begin if the interaction is based on truth, trust and respect. That is something you start giving. This is essential to grown mutual love between 2 individuals. If the other person gives you wat you give, then you start feeling love for each other and it can grow…

It is not difficult to understand love, once you know how love works.

It is very easy to fall in love with someone. The difficulty is to stay in love. But if it is difficult to stay in love, that means, that it is not the love of your life. It is a love experience. Love is always beautiful, if it is not beautiful, it is not love. Time to move on. Sometimes, love just fades away. It is better to move on when you don’t feel anything, then when you feel the opposite of love.

Finding your loved one or a relationship…

If you want to find the love of your life, start being aware of your use of the word love. Saying and thinking I want to find the love of my life and not I want a relationship is fundamental. You find what you are looking for.

“Being in a relationship” is a marketing term invented in magazines. Everyone that is not single is in a relationship. To address a large group of people it is perfect, but it is to vague to define your personal situation.

The only important question for you should be: “Am I experiencing love or not?”

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This is the first philosophy essay forming a series under the name: “Natural Philosophy” about the most important matters of life, trying to define a “Theory of everything”. Continue reading here.

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what is love in this life of us
March 28, 2018
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The demand to be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and being loved, but is there love when each one of us is seeking his own security, his own particular path? We are not loved because we don’t know how to love.

What is love? The word is so loaded and corrupted that I hardly like to use it. Everybody talks of love—every magazine and newspaper and every missionary talks everlastingly of love. I love my country, I love my king, I love some book, I love that mountain, I love pleasure, I love my wife, I love God. Is love an idea? If it is, it can be cultivated, nourished, cherished, pushed around, twisted in any way you like. When you say you love God what does it mean? It means that you love a projection of your own imagination, a projection of yourself clothed in certain forms of respectability according to what you think is noble and holy; so to say, ‘I love God’, is absolute nonsense. When you worship God you are worshipping yourself—and that is not love.

Because we cannot solve this human thing called love we run away into abstractions. Love may be the ultimate solution to all man’s difficulties, problems and travails, so how are we going to find out what love is? By merely defining it? The church has defined it one way, society another and there are all sorts of deviations and perversions. Adoring someone, sleeping with someone, the emotional exchange, the companionship—is that what we mean by love? That has been the norm, the pattern, and it has become so tremendously personal, sensuous, and limited that religions have declared that love is something much more than this. In what they call human love they see there is pleasure, competition, jealousy, the desire to possess, to hold, to control and to interfere with another’s thinking, and knowing the complexity of all this they say there must be another kind of love, divine beautiful untouched, uncorrupted.

Throughout the world, so-called holy men have maintained that to look at a woman is something totally wrong: they say you cannot come near to God if you indulge in sex, therefore they push it aside although they are eaten up with it. But by denying sexuality they put out their eyes and cut out their tongues for they deny the whole beauty of the earth. They have starved their hearts and minds; they are dehydrated human beings; they have banished beauty because beauty is associated with woman.

Can love be divided into the sacred and the profane, the human and the divine, or is there only love? Is love of the one and not of the many? If I say, ‘I love you’, does that exclude the love of the other? Is love personal or impersonal? Moral or immoral? Family or non-family? If you love mankind can you love the particular? Is love sentiment? Is love emotion? Is love pleasure and desire? All these questions indicate, don’t they, that we have ideas about love, ideas about what it should or should not be, a pattern or a code developed by the culture in which we live.

So to go into the question of what love is we must first free it from the encrustation of centuries, put away all ideals and ideologies of what it should or should not be. To divide anything into what should be and what is, is the most deceptive way of dealing with life.

Now how am I going to find out what this flame is which we call love—not how to express it to another but what it means in itself? I will first reject what the church, what society, what my parents and friends, what every person and every book has said about it because I want to find out for myself what it is. Here is an enormous problem that involves the whole of mankind, there have been a thousand ways of defining it and I myself am caught in some pattern or other according to what I like or enjoy at the moment—so shouldn’t I, in order to understand it, first free myself from my own inclinations and prejudices? I am confused, torn by my own desires, so I say to myself, ‘First clear up your own confusion. perhaps you may be able to discover what love is through what it is not.’

The government says, ‘Go and kill for the love of your country’. Is that love? Religion says, ‘Give up sex for the love of God’. Is that love? Is love desire? Don’t say no. For most of us it is—desire with pleasure, the pleasure that is derived through the senses, through sexual attachment and fulfilment. I am not against sex, but see what is involved in it. What sex gives you momentarily is the total abandonment of yourself, then you are back again with your turmoil, so you want a repetition over and over again of that state in which there is no worry, no problem, no self. You say you love your wife. In that love is involved sexual pleasure, the pleasure of having someone in the house to look after your children, to cook. You depend on her; she has given you her body, her emotions, her encouragement, a certain feeling of security and well-being. Then she turns away from you; she gets bored or goes off with someone else, and your whole emotional balance is destroyed, and this disturbance, which you don’t like, is called jealousy. There is pain in it, anxiety, hate and violence. So what you are really saying is, ‘As long as you belong to me I love you but the moment you don’t I begin to hate you. As long as I can rely on you to satisfy my demands, sexual and otherwise, I love you, but the moment you cease to supply what I want I don’t like you.’ So there is antagonism between you, there is separation, and when you feel separate from another there is no love. But if you can live with your wife without thought creating all these contradictory states, these endless quarrels in yourself, then perhaps—perhaps—you will know what love is. Then you are completely free and so is she, whereas if you depend on her for all your pleasure you are a slave to her. So when one loves there must be freedom, not only from the other person but from oneself.

This belonging to another, being psychologically nourished by another, depending on another—in all this there must always be anxiety, fear, jealousy, guilt, and so long as there is fear there is no love; a mind ridden with sorrow will never know what love is; sentimentality and emotionalism have nothing whatsoever to do with love. And so love is not to do with pleasure and desire.

Love is not the product of thought which is the past. Thought cannot possibly cultivate love. Love is not hedged about and caught in jealousy, for jealousy is of the past. Love is always active present. It is not ‘I will love’ or ‘I have loved’. If you know love you will not follow anybody. Love does not obey. When you love there is neither respect nor disrespect.

Don’t you know what it means really to love somebody to love without hate, without jealousy, without anger, without wanting to interfere with what he is doing or thinking, without condemning, without comparing—don’t you know what it means? Where there is love is there comparison? When you love someone with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your body, with your entire being, is there comparison? When you totally abandon yourself to that love there is not the other.

Does love have responsibility and duty, and will it use those words? When you do something out of duty is there any love in it? In duty there is no love. The structure of duty in which the human being is caught is destroying him. So long as you are compelled to do something because it is your duty you don’t love what you are doing. When there is love there is no duty and no responsibility.

Most parents unfortunately think they are responsible for their children and their sense of responsibility takes the form of telling them what they should do and what they should not do, what they should become and what they should not become. The parents want their children to have a secure position in society. What they call responsibility is part of that respectability they worship; and it seems to me that where there is respectability there is no order; they are concerned only with becoming a perfect bourgeois. When they prepare their children to fit into society they are perpetuating war, conflict and brutality. Do you call that care and love?

Really to care is to care as you would for a tree or a plant, watering it, studying its needs, the best soil for it, looking after it with gentleness and tenderness—but when you prepare your children to fit into society you are preparing them to be killed. If you loved your children you would have no war.

When you lose someone you love you shed tears—are your tears for yourself or for the one who is dead? Are you crying for yourself or for another? Have you ever cried for another? Have you ever cried for your son who was killed on the battlefield? You have cried, but do those tears come out of self-pity or have you cried because a human being has been killed? If you cry out of self-pity your tears have no meaning because you are concerned about yourself. If you are crying because you are bereft of one in whom you have invested a great deal of affection, it was not really affection. When you cry for your brother who dies cry for him. It is very easy to cry for yourself because he is gone. Apparently you are crying because your heart is touched, but it is not touched for him, it is only touched by self-pity and self-pity makes you hard, encloses you, makes you dull and stupid.

When you cry for yourself, is it love—crying because you are lonely, because you have been left, because you are no longer powerful—complaining of your lot, your environment—always you in tears? If you understand this, which means to come in contact with it as directly as you would touch a tree or a pillar or a hand, then you will see that sorrow is self-created, sorrow is created by thought, sorrow is the outcome of time. I had my brother three years ago, now he is dead, now I am lonely, aching, there is no one to whom I can look for comfort or companionship, and it brings tears to my eyes.

You can see all this happening inside yourself if you watch it. You can see it fully, completely, in one glance, not take analytical time over it. You can see in a moment the whole structure and nature of this shoddy little thing called ‘me’, my tears, my family, my nation, my belief, my religion—all that ugliness, it is all inside you. When you see it with your heart, not with your mind, when you see it from the very bottom of your heart, then you have the key that will end sorrow.

Sorrow and love cannot go together, but in the Christian world they have idealized suffering, put it on a cross and worshipped it, implying that you can never escape from suffering except through that one particular door, and this is the whole structure of an exploiting religious society.

So when you ask what love is, you may be too frightened to see the answer. It may mean complete upheaval; it may break up the family; you may discover that you do not love your wife or husband or children—do you?—you may have to shatter the house you have built, you may never go back to the temple.

But if you still want to find out, you will see that fear is not love, dependence is not love, jealousy is not love, possessiveness and domination are not love, responsibility and duty are not love, self-pity is not love, the agony of not being loved is not love, love is not the opposite of hate any more than humility is the opposite of vanity. So if you can eliminate all these, not by forcing them but by washing them away as the rain washes the dust of many days from a leaf, then perhaps you will come upon this strange flower which man always hungers after.

If you have not got love—not just in little drops but in abundance—if you are not filled with it—the world will go to disaster. You know intellectually that the unity of mankind is essential and that love is the only way, but who is going to teach you how to love? Will any authority, any method, any system, tell you how to love? If anyone tells you, it is not love. Can you say, ‘I will practise love. I will sit down day after day and think about it. I will practise being kind and gentle and force myself to pay attention to others’? Do you mean to say that you can discipline yourself to love, exercise the will to love? When you exercise discipline and will to love, love goes out of the window. By practising some method or system of loving you may become extraordinarily clever or more kindly or get into a state of non-violence, but that has nothing whatsoever to do with love.

In this torn desert world there is no love because pleasure and desire play the greatest roles, yet without love your daily life has no meaning. And you cannot have love if there is no beauty. Beauty is not something you see—not a beautiful tree, a beautiful picture, a beautiful building or a beautiful woman. There is beauty only when your heart and mind know what love is. Without love and that sense of beauty there is no virtue, and you know very well that, do what you will, improve society, feed the poor, you will only be creating more mischief, for without love there is only ugliness and poverty in your own heart and mind. But when there is love and beauty, whatever you do is right, whatever you do is in order. If you know how to love, then you can do what you like because it will solve all other problems.

So we reach the point: can the mind come upon love without discipline, without thought, without enforcement, without any book, any teacher or leader—come upon it as one comes upon a lovely sunset?

It seems to me that one thing is absolutely necessary and that is passion without motive—passion that is not the result of some commitment or attachment, passion that is not lust. A man who does not know what passion is will never know love because love can come into being only when there is total self-abandonment.

A mind that is seeking is not a passionate mind and to come upon love without seeking it is the only way to find it—to come upon it unknowingly and not as the result of any effort or experience. Such a love, you will find, is not of time; such a love is both personal and impersonal, is both the one and the many. Like a flower that has perfume you can smell it or pass it by. That flower is for everybody and for the one who takes trouble to breathe it deeply and look at it with delight. Whether one is very near in the garden, or very far away, it is the same to the flower because it is full of that perfume and therefore it is sharing with everybody.

Love is something that is new, fresh, alive. It has no yesterday and no tomorrow. It is beyond the turmoil of thought. It is only the innocent mind which knows what love is, and the innocent mind can live in the world which is not innocent. To find this extraordinary thing which man has sought endlessly through sacrifice, through worship, through relationship, through sex, through every form of pleasure and pain, is only possible when thought comes to understand itself and comes naturally to an end. Then love has no opposite, then love has no conflict.

You may ask, ‘If I find such a love, what happens to my wife, my children, my family? They must have security.’ When you put such a question you have never been outside the field of thought, the field of consciousness. When once you have been outside that field you will never ask such a question because then you will know what love is in which there is no thought and therefore no time. You may read this mesmerized and enchanted, but actually to go beyond thought and time—which means going beyond sorrow—is to be aware that there is a different dimension called love.

But you don’t know how to come to this extraordinary fount—so what do you do? If you don’t know what to do, you do nothing, don’t you? Absolutely nothing. Then inwardly you are completely silent. Do you understand what that means? It means that you are not seeking, not wanting, not pursuing; there is no centre at all. Then there is love

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stories about friendships friendship day
March 28, 2018
1

You do not have to bother on being judged on the basis of differences that may be based on any ground. From last many years the World has been finding ways to dive deeper into the beauty of this beautiful relationship. Many a time’s authors around the World have penned down various heart-touching stories related to friendship, some of them, the real ones while some based on their own imaginations.

Here we are going to provide our readers with some really fabulous short stories on friendship which will be really helpful in making people understand the essence of friendship. These Friendship stories will also be helpful in being a better friend. Read to through the stories on friendship and rejoice the real meaning of being a friend.

Story 1

There were two friends who were walking across a desert. While they were walking they got into an ugly argument and out of anger one of them slapped the other on the face. The one who was slapped, though was hurt he did not said anything and quietly wrote over the sand “I am hurt because today my friend hit me n my face”. They resumed walking and kept walking until they came across an oasis. They decided to take bath in the oasis then. While they were taking bath the one who had got slapped started drowning. The other friend came to his rescue and saved him. After he got rescued, he wrote on the stone “Today I was saved by my best friend”.

The other friend asked him, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you while you wrote on the stone when I saved you?” Upon this, the other friend replied that its better we write on sand when your friend hurts you as it will be gone with the wind but write it on stone when your friend does something good to you so that it could be engraved forever.

Moral of the Story

Your friend always sees the brighter side of you! No matter what your friend will always come to rescue you be it any circumstance!

Story 2

There were two friends named Sam and Jason. One single day, while they were on their way to Boston city they met with an accident. The other morning, While Sam was still lying unconscious; Jack woke up with blind eyes. The doctor was looking at the reports of Sam when he woke up. The doctor was looking at Sam with benevolent eyes as he was diagnosed with blood cancer. Sam decided to donate his eyes when he dies. He asked the doctor not to disclose this to Jason.

As time passed by, their friendship started deteriorating gradually and Jason started avoiding Sam as he thought it’s worthless to have a friend who will dies in few days. Sam became depressed and he died soon. Jason came on the burial of Sam where he was offered with a latter by the doctor. It was written by Sam! It read that “I want to donate my eyes for you Jason when I will die. It drove tears in Jason’s eyes and he started crying and remembering those days when they used to be together.

Moral

No matter what you do t6o your friend; they will always be present for you in your bad times.

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8 THINGS TO CARRY LIKE A CRATE OF EGGS.
Recipes using eggs
Friends, there are things we must carry and handle with extra-carefulness, because these things are fragile.
Once broken, it is not easy to put back together, and once some of these things get broken, they can lead to huge damage, and destiny wastage.
Let me mention 8 of those things you must carry/handle with carefulness, as if you are carrying a crate of eggs.
_*1. Your Name:*_
Your name is very important and fragile.
There are names that stinks in the ears of people, simply because those who bear those names spoilt the name.
The way to handle your name with carefulness,​ is to be careful of your doings.
Your actions can rubbish your name. A good name can open doors for you, & for your children and generations after you.
Carry your name with carefulness. It is a huge asset.
Read one of the quotes written by *_Shakespeare_*:
_’Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;_
_’Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands;_
_But he that filches from me my good name,_
_Robs me of that which not enriches him,_
_And makes me poor indeed’._
_*2. Your Heart:*_
Many hearts are broken, shattered, wounded and bitter today.
One of the factors responsible for this is because many of these heart’s owners were careless with their hearts.
You can guard your heart from being broken and bitter.
Run away from people, and things that are bent on breaking your heart.
Carry your heart like a crate of eggs. You need a whole heart before you can be said to be fully whole!
_*3. Your Wife:*_
When you put too much pressure on your wife, you will break her.
Handle your wife with carefulness, and tenderness.
Let tenderness flow in your manliness. Don’t be wicked to your wife.
Carry her like a Queen. She is strong, powerful and wise, yet, she needs to be protected, cared for and handle like a crate of eggs. Treat her like that.
_*4. Your Purpose:*_
Your purpose is your destiny. If you don’t handle it with utmost carefulness, it can slip off your hands and gaze and get broken.
So many things can come like pressure on this crate of egg of purpose.
Discouragement, lack of fund, delayed breakthrough, etc.
These are things that may want to come like pressure on your purpose to break it. Don’t allow them! Carry it with care.
Carry your purpose away from people, and things that may want to put pressure on it and break it.
_*5. Your Health:*_
You have only this body as a vehicle that will carry you through your journey of destiny in this life.
Handle your health with carefulness. No matter how big your vision is, once you are dead, nobody can really run the vision like you!
Fight for your health. Avoid things that can destroy your health. Wealth is useless when your health becomes useless. Don’t kill yourself before your time.
Do your best to stay alive. We still need you here.
Don’t use your fork and your spoon to dig your grave.
Watch what you eat. Always pray for divine immunization against sickness, and diseases.
_*6. Your Marriage:*_
So many people handle their marriage like a carton of Indomie Noddles.
Let me remind you sir/ma. Your marriage is fragile. Handle it like a crate of egg. It must not break!
A broken marriage is not easily put back together, because, when a marriage breaks, many things get broken with it.
Husband and wife, please, carry your marriage like an egg. It must not break!
_*7. Your Words:*_
Your worth is attached to your words.
Be careful with words. Once broken, you can’t gather it up again.
Many people are careless with their words. They speak violently. They make empty promises and break it.
Some say things they later wish they never said. Guard your words. Be careful with it.
_*8. Your Eternity:*_
Those who are running up and down to fulfill destiny here on Earth without thinking of their eternity are not wise!
Friends, the matter of eternity is not something you should handle with levity.
Think about where you will spend eternity. You will die one day. I will also die one day.
All that we are and have in this world are vanity upon vanity.
Take the matter of your end very serious.
Stop living carelessly as if you have extra life.
Think about eternity. Don’t live for the pleasure of this present.
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THE NEED FOR HOUSE RULES AND POSITIVE IMPACT FOR HOMES

Why are family rules important?

Family rules help children understand what behaviors are okay and not okay. As children grow, they will be in places where they have to follow rules. Following rules at home can help children learn to follow rules in other places.

It is normal for children to break rules and test limits. Breaking a rule is a child’s way of learning about his world. Consistent follow through with consequences when rules are broken help your child have a clear understanding about the importance of rules. Remember, young kids sometimes break rules because they simply forget. Not all broken rules occur because kids are testing the limits. But, our responses should be the same no matter what the reason for breaking the rule.

Why should all family members know and follow the rules?

For family rules to work well, everyone needs to know, understand, and follow the rules. By doing this, children don’t get mixed messages about what is okay or not okay. For example, you may feel that jumping on the bed is a dangerous behavior. You set a family rule that “The bed will be used only for sitting, lying, or sleeping.” If another caregiver jumps on the bed, your child may be confused. Your child may think this behavior is sometimes okay. Your child’s behavior will be better if all caregivers support the rules in the same way. This is true for parents, grandparents, or any other caregivers in your child’s life.

How can all family members get on the same page about rules?

There are several steps that can help all family members be consistent.

  • Parents can talk about what rules would help their family and agree which ones to set.
  • Parents can post the rules in the house so everyone can know them.
  • Parents can have conversations with other adults who care for their children about the rules. This helps make sure everyone knows what is allowed and not allowed.
  • Parents can ask all caregivers to be consistent in monitoring and enforcing the rules.
  • Parents can remind children about the rules. Repeating the rules and posting them in the home are all good ways to remind children of the rules.

What is a good number of family rules for toddlers and preschoolers?

The number of rules you set depends on your child’s ability to understand and remember. It is also hard for parents to consistently enforce lots of new rules. For young children, focus on only two or three of the most important rules at any one time. As your child learns a rule and is following it consistently, you can add new rules.

I use the term organized chaos, because that’s probably the most we can strive for without a staff of 7 or having Martha Stewart move in and run things. In our house, the list of family house rules isn’t the pirate’s code where it “is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules*.” Nope.  We stand by these. When you really stop and think about it, they’re just examples of plain old-fashioned consideration towards the other members of the household. I think that type of consideration for others is always in fashion. It’s like taking the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and spelling things out. These rules are simple, straightforward and get right to the point. I’m sure you’ve seen similar versions of this before, but I think we can always use a little reminder.

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The Extortion of Foster Children By A Warped Mother – My Personal Childhood of Corruption and Worthlessness: Part 1

My mother was a beautiful, cunning, manipulative, abusive, alcoholic with a hatred for me.

After my parents divorced when I was nine years old she made it crystal clear she couldn’t stand me because I was “My Father’s child.” I was not allowed to be with her in public because I “embarrassed” her, and during her drunken nights with the neighbor’s wife (In which she eventually had an affair with her husband) I recall more than once that the reason I wasn’t sent away to live with my father is that I was giving he,r her “play money”, with the child support my father was sending in every month.

She had a love for gambling, and several times a month she would leave for Boomtown, Nevada for nearly a week (or until her money ran out) and I would be left alone in the house doing what I could to go to school, eat, and stay out of trouble.

I had an older half-brother (out of the house), who was the cherished son. My mother would remind me that her and him were together (in the worst of times, living together in a car) and that they shared a bond I would never have. I was not allowed to speak my brothers name to my mother or in public, as “I was not good-enough” to do so. That “rule” stayed in place until the last time I communicated with her in 2009.

Growing up in an environment like that leaves an impact on you. You learn quite early how to take care of yourself and understanding consequences. You begin to be resourceful and have alternative plans to things if the original plans do not work out. It also inhibits your emotional response, and retards emotional growth. I can remember nights I found my mother collapsed out on the front porch and I drug her in. Nights where I showered my own mother due to being covered in vomit and putting her to bed while she called me disgusting names and saying disgusting things (two I remember vividly was that she was going to wrap me up in my sleeping bag at night and kill me or pay somebody else to do it and that she was going to call the cops and tell them I beat her and they will believe her over my “punk ass”). One time in particular, I remember I was 11 years old and got a phone call on the house phone from a paramedic saying that my mother was having an emergency at a bar and that they were transporting her to the hospital. I knew where the spare key to the car was (I used it often) and so I drove to the bar I knew she was at, followed the ambulance with my mother to the hospital, and waited until she was released and drove her home. Again, this was at age 11.

The Shift Into Profiting From Other Children

Somehow her brain realized that having a child in this manner was profitable, and decided to get into foster care.

My mother met up with the director of a foster program (this program has since been shut down) and immediately they began a sexual relationship. This man would come over and I would have the privilege of hearing my mother have sex with him (this was whenever the neighbors husband wasn’t sneaking over).

It wasn’t long until I had 3 new siblings. However, I learned quickly that these children were not ordinary. All three were males with severe mental handicaps and heavily medicated. These children were in bad shape, malnourished and unhealthy, rotten teeth, poor eyesight and development (drug babies) and emotional unstable.

I’d grown accustomed to my broken environment that I was able to manage by doing my own thing as long as I stayed away from my mother, but I now had this chaos.

See, a typical day in my mothers house was to be a ghost. She wouldn’t leave her bedroom until about noon or so everyday. She would grab something from the kitchen or leave and get cigarettes (she also smoked in the house for what it’s worth) and booze, come back, make sure she displayed her feelings about me and disappeared back into her room. The only other engagement I got from her was screaming from her room if she heard me. I had to be as quiet as a mouse at all times, and lord help me if she heard me in the kitchen getting something to eat. On that note, I would go into the kitchen very early in the morning when I was pretty sure she was passed out, or when she was having sex, and I’d load up on whatever I could find and smuggle it outside or in my room so I could eat throughout the day and not get caught. Of course I would still get yelled at because food was missing, but at least I was full and I got very good at hiding things.

It was a horrible system and way of life, but I made it work. I just had to be a ghost.

With these new additions I was now on the radar even more. However, my mother actually solved this problem. The medication these children were on were very strong, they were almost like zombies all the time. She developed a schedule in which she would leave her bedroom around 3 times a day to medicate these kids, and as long as she put in that much work and there was a television and a couple Gameboys, we were all pacified.

That was life. Medication. Cartoons. Pokemon. Occasionally dinner or McDonald’s cheeseburger if they were on sale (I think back then we had the 29 cent Tuesdays or something).

The director continued to come to the house and have “private meetings” with my mother. There was never once a check on the children, not even questions besides the condescending “See you all again soon!” after he got done with my mother, who just stayed in the room afterwards.

Before long we had our fourth sibling, just as damaged and medicated as the rest. My mother never skipped a beat with her drinking and gambling outings, the only real change is that we had a babysitter as a few of the children were younger than myself. Having the sitter was a luxury in all honesty, we got attention and we got fed. Just a little bit of interaction went a very long ways, but sadly the turnover was high as it seemed my mother was difficult to work with or the sitters realized what was going on and didn’t want any part of it.

The Extortion of Foster Children By A Warped Mother – My Personal Childhood of Corruption and Worthlessness: Part 1

entrepreneur916 (56) in life •  10 hours ago
Abandonment-Issues.jpg

Backstory

My mother was a beautiful, cunning, manipulative, abusive, alcoholic with a hatred for me.

After my parents divorced when I was nine years old she made it crystal clear she couldn’t stand me because I was “My Father’s child.” I was not allowed to be with her in public because I “embarrassed” her, and during her drunken nights with the neighbor’s wife (In which she eventually had an affair with her husband) I recall more than once that the reason I wasn’t sent away to live with my father is that I was giving he,r her “play money”, with the child support my father was sending in every month.

She had a love for gambling, and several times a month she would leave for Boomtown, Nevada for nearly a week (or until her money ran out) and I would be left alone in the house doing what I could to go to school, eat, and stay out of trouble.

I had an older half-brother (out of the house), who was the cherished son. My mother would remind me that her and him were together (in the worst of times, living together in a car) and that they shared a bond I would never have. I was not allowed to speak my brothers name to my mother or in public, as “I was not good-enough” to do so. That “rule” stayed in place until the last time I communicated with her in 2009.

Growing up in an environment like that leaves an impact on you. You learn quite early how to take care of yourself and understanding consequences. You begin to be resourceful and have alternative plans to things if the original plans do not work out. It also inhibits your emotional response, and retards emotional growth. I can remember nights I found my mother collapsed out on the front porch and I drug her in. Nights where I showered my own mother due to being covered in vomit and putting her to bed while she called me disgusting names and saying disgusting things (two I remember vividly was that she was going to wrap me up in my sleeping bag at night and kill me or pay somebody else to do it and that she was going to call the cops and tell them I beat her and they will believe her over my “punk ass”). One time in particular, I remember I was 11 years old and got a phone call on the house phone from a paramedic saying that my mother was having an emergency at a bar and that they were transporting her to the hospital. I knew where the spare key to the car was (I used it often) and so I drove to the bar I knew she was at, followed the ambulance with my mother to the hospital, and waited until she was released and drove her home. Again, this was at age 11.

How To Make Money For Kids.jpg

The Shift Into Profiting From Other Children

Somehow her brain realized that having a child in this manner was profitable, and decided to get into foster care.

My mother met up with the director of a foster program (this program has since been shut down) and immediately they began a sexual relationship. This man would come over and I would have the privilege of hearing my mother have sex with him (this was whenever the neighbors husband wasn’t sneaking over).

It wasn’t long until I had 3 new siblings. However, I learned quickly that these children were not ordinary. All three were males with severe mental handicaps and heavily medicated. These children were in bad shape, malnourished and unhealthy, rotten teeth, poor eyesight and development (drug babies) and emotional unstable.

I’d grown accustomed to my broken environment that I was able to manage by doing my own thing as long as I stayed away from my mother, but I now had this chaos.

See, a typical day in my mothers house was to be a ghost. She wouldn’t leave her bedroom until about noon or so everyday. She would grab something from the kitchen or leave and get cigarettes (she also smoked in the house for what it’s worth) and booze, come back, make sure she displayed her feelings about me and disappeared back into her room. The only other engagement I got from her was screaming from her room if she heard me. I had to be as quiet as a mouse at all times, and lord help me if she heard me in the kitchen getting something to eat. On that note, I would go into the kitchen very early in the morning when I was pretty sure she was passed out, or when she was having sex, and I’d load up on whatever I could find and smuggle it outside or in my room so I could eat throughout the day and not get caught. Of course I would still get yelled at because food was missing, but at least I was full and I got very good at hiding things.

It was a horrible system and way of life, but I made it work. I just had to be a ghost.

With these new additions I was now on the radar even more. However, my mother actually solved this problem. The medication these children were on were very strong, they were almost like zombies all the time. She developed a schedule in which she would leave her bedroom around 3 times a day to medicate these kids, and as long as she put in that much work and there was a television and a couple Gameboys, we were all pacified.

That was life. Medication. Cartoons. Pokemon. Occasionally dinner or McDonald’s cheeseburger if they were on sale (I think back then we had the 29 cent Tuesdays or something).

The director continued to come to the house and have “private meetings” with my mother. There was never once a check on the children, not even questions besides the condescending “See you all again soon!” after he got done with my mother, who just stayed in the room afterwards.

Before long we had our fourth sibling, just as damaged and medicated as the rest. My mother never skipped a beat with her drinking and gambling outings, the only real change is that we had a babysitter as a few of the children were younger than myself. Having the sitter was a luxury in all honesty, we got attention and we got fed. Just a little bit of interaction went a very long ways, but sadly the turnover was high as it seemed my mother was difficult to work with or the sitters realized what was going on and didn’t want any part of it.

Child-Sexual-Abuse.jpg

Sex Makes Any Story Better, Right?

After about a year of this I was around 12 or 13. Life was the usual, mother making money off me in child support, making ridiculous money on the most damaged children she could get, the director still getting his “cut”, and honestly I was able to get out of the radar even further due to one of the children becoming too much of a “headache” for her…so for a time he became the scapegoat.

However, that all changed with child number five. A female.

This new child was I believe around eight or nine, about the “median” age of the others as I was the oldest by about a year.

This little girl had a troubled sexual history from family members as well and events in other homes, and was very much sexually active. It wasn’t long until three of the boys were engaging sexually with the girl in mother’s house, under her”watchful eye”. Now, there was no secret that putting a sexually active female in with troubled boys (some with sexual histories themselves) was probably not in the best interest of the child. However, since my childhood home was basically a brothel for my mother, it was just a different twist on the same thing I have dealt with most my childhood.

Now, this is just a summary of my world with five foster implants…it got ever more outrageous when there were a total of sevenchildren and my child support checks stopped coming in…

But that will be covered in Part 2

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The Extortion of Foster Children By A Warped Mother – My Personal Childhood of Corruption and Worthlessness: Part 1

My mother was a beautiful, cunning, manipulative, abusive, alcoholic with a hatred for me.

After my parents divorced when I was nine years old she made it crystal clear she couldn’t stand me because I was “My Father’s child.” I was not allowed to be with her in public because I “embarrassed” her, and during her drunken nights with the neighbor’s wife (In which she eventually had an affair with her husband) I recall more than once that the reason I wasn’t sent away to live with my father is that I was giving he,r her “play money”, with the child support my father was sending in every month.

She had a love for gambling, and several times a month she would leave for Boomtown, Nevada for nearly a week (or until her money ran out) and I would be left alone in the house doing what I could to go to school, eat, and stay out of trouble.

I had an older half-brother (out of the house), who was the cherished son. My mother would remind me that her and him were together (in the worst of times, living together in a car) and that they shared a bond I would never have. I was not allowed to speak my brothers name to my mother or in public, as “I was not good-enough” to do so. That “rule” stayed in place until the last time I communicated with her in 2009.

Growing up in an environment like that leaves an impact on you. You learn quite early how to take care of yourself and understanding consequences. You begin to be resourceful and have alternative plans to things if the original plans do not work out. It also inhibits your emotional response, and retards emotional growth. I can remember nights I found my mother collapsed out on the front porch and I drug her in. Nights where I showered my own mother due to being covered in vomit and putting her to bed while she called me disgusting names and saying disgusting things (two I remember vividly was that she was going to wrap me up in my sleeping bag at night and kill me or pay somebody else to do it and that she was going to call the cops and tell them I beat her and they will believe her over my “punk ass”). One time in particular, I remember I was 11 years old and got a phone call on the house phone from a paramedic saying that my mother was having an emergency at a bar and that they were transporting her to the hospital. I knew where the spare key to the car was (I used it often) and so I drove to the bar I knew she was at, followed the ambulance with my mother to the hospital, and waited until she was released and drove her home. Again, this was at age 11.

The Shift Into Profiting From Other Children

Somehow her brain realized that having a child in this manner was profitable, and decided to get into foster care.

My mother met up with the director of a foster program (this program has since been shut down) and immediately they began a sexual relationship. This man would come over and I would have the privilege of hearing my mother have sex with him (this was whenever the neighbors husband wasn’t sneaking over).

It wasn’t long until I had 3 new siblings. However, I learned quickly that these children were not ordinary. All three were males with severe mental handicaps and heavily medicated. These children were in bad shape, malnourished and unhealthy, rotten teeth, poor eyesight and development (drug babies) and emotional unstable.

I’d grown accustomed to my broken environment that I was able to manage by doing my own thing as long as I stayed away from my mother, but I now had this chaos.

See, a typical day in my mothers house was to be a ghost. She wouldn’t leave her bedroom until about noon or so everyday. She would grab something from the kitchen or leave and get cigarettes (she also smoked in the house for what it’s worth) and booze, come back, make sure she displayed her feelings about me and disappeared back into her room. The only other engagement I got from her was screaming from her room if she heard me. I had to be as quiet as a mouse at all times, and lord help me if she heard me in the kitchen getting something to eat. On that note, I would go into the kitchen very early in the morning when I was pretty sure she was passed out, or when she was having sex, and I’d load up on whatever I could find and smuggle it outside or in my room so I could eat throughout the day and not get caught. Of course I would still get yelled at because food was missing, but at least I was full and I got very good at hiding things.

It was a horrible system and way of life, but I made it work. I just had to be a ghost.

With these new additions I was now on the radar even more. However, my mother actually solved this problem. The medication these children were on were very strong, they were almost like zombies all the time. She developed a schedule in which she would leave her bedroom around 3 times a day to medicate these kids, and as long as she put in that much work and there was a television and a couple Gameboys, we were all pacified.

That was life. Medication. Cartoons. Pokemon. Occasionally dinner or McDonald’s cheeseburger if they were on sale (I think back then we had the 29 cent Tuesdays or something).

The director continued to come to the house and have “private meetings” with my mother. There was never once a check on the children, not even questions besides the condescending “See you all again soon!” after he got done with my mother, who just stayed in the room afterwards.

Before long we had our fourth sibling, just as damaged and medicated as the rest. My mother never skipped a beat with her drinking and gambling outings, the only real change is that we had a babysitter as a few of the children were younger than myself. Having the sitter was a luxury in all honesty, we got attention and we got fed. Just a little bit of interaction went a very long ways, but sadly the turnover was high as it seemed my mother was difficult to work with or the sitters realized what was going on and didn’t want any part of it.

The Extortion of Foster Children By A Warped Mother – My Personal Childhood of Corruption and Worthlessness: Part 1

entrepreneur916 (56) in life •  10 hours ago
Abandonment-Issues.jpg

Backstory

My mother was a beautiful, cunning, manipulative, abusive, alcoholic with a hatred for me.

After my parents divorced when I was nine years old she made it crystal clear she couldn’t stand me because I was “My Father’s child.” I was not allowed to be with her in public because I “embarrassed” her, and during her drunken nights with the neighbor’s wife (In which she eventually had an affair with her husband) I recall more than once that the reason I wasn’t sent away to live with my father is that I was giving he,r her “play money”, with the child support my father was sending in every month.

She had a love for gambling, and several times a month she would leave for Boomtown, Nevada for nearly a week (or until her money ran out) and I would be left alone in the house doing what I could to go to school, eat, and stay out of trouble.

I had an older half-brother (out of the house), who was the cherished son. My mother would remind me that her and him were together (in the worst of times, living together in a car) and that they shared a bond I would never have. I was not allowed to speak my brothers name to my mother or in public, as “I was not good-enough” to do so. That “rule” stayed in place until the last time I communicated with her in 2009.

Growing up in an environment like that leaves an impact on you. You learn quite early how to take care of yourself and understanding consequences. You begin to be resourceful and have alternative plans to things if the original plans do not work out. It also inhibits your emotional response, and retards emotional growth. I can remember nights I found my mother collapsed out on the front porch and I drug her in. Nights where I showered my own mother due to being covered in vomit and putting her to bed while she called me disgusting names and saying disgusting things (two I remember vividly was that she was going to wrap me up in my sleeping bag at night and kill me or pay somebody else to do it and that she was going to call the cops and tell them I beat her and they will believe her over my “punk ass”). One time in particular, I remember I was 11 years old and got a phone call on the house phone from a paramedic saying that my mother was having an emergency at a bar and that they were transporting her to the hospital. I knew where the spare key to the car was (I used it often) and so I drove to the bar I knew she was at, followed the ambulance with my mother to the hospital, and waited until she was released and drove her home. Again, this was at age 11.

How To Make Money For Kids.jpg

The Shift Into Profiting From Other Children

Somehow her brain realized that having a child in this manner was profitable, and decided to get into foster care.

My mother met up with the director of a foster program (this program has since been shut down) and immediately they began a sexual relationship. This man would come over and I would have the privilege of hearing my mother have sex with him (this was whenever the neighbors husband wasn’t sneaking over).

It wasn’t long until I had 3 new siblings. However, I learned quickly that these children were not ordinary. All three were males with severe mental handicaps and heavily medicated. These children were in bad shape, malnourished and unhealthy, rotten teeth, poor eyesight and development (drug babies) and emotional unstable.

I’d grown accustomed to my broken environment that I was able to manage by doing my own thing as long as I stayed away from my mother, but I now had this chaos.

See, a typical day in my mothers house was to be a ghost. She wouldn’t leave her bedroom until about noon or so everyday. She would grab something from the kitchen or leave and get cigarettes (she also smoked in the house for what it’s worth) and booze, come back, make sure she displayed her feelings about me and disappeared back into her room. The only other engagement I got from her was screaming from her room if she heard me. I had to be as quiet as a mouse at all times, and lord help me if she heard me in the kitchen getting something to eat. On that note, I would go into the kitchen very early in the morning when I was pretty sure she was passed out, or when she was having sex, and I’d load up on whatever I could find and smuggle it outside or in my room so I could eat throughout the day and not get caught. Of course I would still get yelled at because food was missing, but at least I was full and I got very good at hiding things.

It was a horrible system and way of life, but I made it work. I just had to be a ghost.

With these new additions I was now on the radar even more. However, my mother actually solved this problem. The medication these children were on were very strong, they were almost like zombies all the time. She developed a schedule in which she would leave her bedroom around 3 times a day to medicate these kids, and as long as she put in that much work and there was a television and a couple Gameboys, we were all pacified.

That was life. Medication. Cartoons. Pokemon. Occasionally dinner or McDonald’s cheeseburger if they were on sale (I think back then we had the 29 cent Tuesdays or something).

The director continued to come to the house and have “private meetings” with my mother. There was never once a check on the children, not even questions besides the condescending “See you all again soon!” after he got done with my mother, who just stayed in the room afterwards.

Before long we had our fourth sibling, just as damaged and medicated as the rest. My mother never skipped a beat with her drinking and gambling outings, the only real change is that we had a babysitter as a few of the children were younger than myself. Having the sitter was a luxury in all honesty, we got attention and we got fed. Just a little bit of interaction went a very long ways, but sadly the turnover was high as it seemed my mother was difficult to work with or the sitters realized what was going on and didn’t want any part of it.

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Sex Makes Any Story Better, Right?

After about a year of this I was around 12 or 13. Life was the usual, mother making money off me in child support, making ridiculous money on the most damaged children she could get, the director still getting his “cut”, and honestly I was able to get out of the radar even further due to one of the children becoming too much of a “headache” for her…so for a time he became the scapegoat.

However, that all changed with child number five. A female.

This new child was I believe around eight or nine, about the “median” age of the others as I was the oldest by about a year.

This little girl had a troubled sexual history from family members as well and events in other homes, and was very much sexually active. It wasn’t long until three of the boys were engaging sexually with the girl in mother’s house, under her”watchful eye”. Now, there was no secret that putting a sexually active female in with troubled boys (some with sexual histories themselves) was probably not in the best interest of the child. However, since my childhood home was basically a brothel for my mother, it was just a different twist on the same thing I have dealt with most my childhood.

Now, this is just a summary of my world with five foster implants…it got ever more outrageous when there were a total of sevenchildren and my child support checks stopped coming in…

But that will be covered in Part 2

 

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