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All the struggles of getting into a celibate relationship after leaving a sexual one

Here are 5 struggles you should expect when moving into a celibate relationship after a sexual one.

You may ask yourself why someone who was in sexual relationship would even agree to go into another one and decide to be celibate against his or her ‘real wish’.

The answer to that is that sometimes, people often make rash decisions that they’d later discover that they can’t go through with.

So don’t be surprised that there are people who would enter into clearly sexless relationships and then turn around and start demanding sex midway through the relationship.

Whether it was a well-thought decision or not, however, here are struggles you should expect when moving into a celibate relationship after a sexual one.

1. The switch is never easy

Theoretically, you could be prepared for the change from that previous relationship to a life of love without sex.

Afterall, what could be difficult in loving your partner with all your heart without laying  finger on them sexually? Nothing  right?

Well, it’s usually not that easy.

2. More masturbation

Whether you are a man or woman, you may find yourself trying to relieve that sexual tension by yourself. Having sex for a while and then trying to stop never really comes easy and self-pleasuring could be your way of getting off during that difficult period before you become completely weaned off sex.

For some people the masturbation never really stops.

3. Tempted to cheat

Also the temptation to cheat may be overpowering sometimes [or many times]. Afterall, your partner trusts you completely and would allow you go for a sleep over at your friend’s place.

What he/she doesn’t know is that you once had great sex with your friend’s neighbor who has since been begging for a rematch.

Now that you are horny and there’s no chance of getting it with your partner, the temptation is very strong to give in to one more night with him/her.

Afterall no one will tell your boyfriend, right?

4. Unknowingly pressuring your partner

You may find yourself putting pressure on your partner without even knowing it. Your make out sessions  have clearly been limited to kisses and a few touch here and there but you may find yourself testing, pushing all those limits everytime you make out with your partner.

If only your partner wasn’t just so firm with their stand on the no-sex policy, you know what would have happened

5. Don’t enter relationships you can’t cope with

It is important at all times to date at your level. Always be equally-yoked with your partner. You want sex, date someone who wants sex. Don’t squeeze yourself into a relationship and get stuck in uncomfortable situations.

Relationships are to be enjoyed, not endured.

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Parents, not only a word

Parents not only give us birth but they give us a life. Nothing is worth their value. We exist because of them. But is that it? Not only a life but they give us a reason for our life, a goal. No one is nothing without their parents. Everyone needs them all the time. We may not realize it but we are so much dependent on them that we forget their value. We start taking them for granted. And a time comes when they become a headache but still we do not realize that we need them the most.

Their advice is the best thing one could ever receive because it is a universal fact that they are always right. We are always ignorant in the beginning but eventually, we come running back to them. Not everyone is lucky enough to get the unconditional love of their parents but those who are should always be there for their parents. A lot of cases have come up recently about the abandoning of old people by their children. Abandoning those who gave them life, taught them how to eat, walk, learn and what not only to end up in some old age home. We can never match up to the sacrifices that they have made for us unless it is for our kids later.

Nothing can be compared to the pain suffered by our mothers of carrying us in her womb for nine months and finally giving birth, waking up all night just to look after after us when we are sick, always providing the last piece of food even if she is hungry or the hours of hard work by our father to provide enough for us, his family. We never notice the small bits of happiness they give us. Rather we are frustrated in our own many ways that we forget to keep them happy only to realize they still wish our best.

So it is our time now to repay for what they have done for us and to make their each sacrifice count. This does not mean buying expensive gifts or them but even spending a little time with them can surely make their day. Sharing your daily day details, asking theirs, taking them out is the least we could for them. Never neglect your parents and always be there for them because we owe a lot to them.

 

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Is Anyone Else Feeling Really Unappreciated

I think that it is absolutely crazy how we are ” surronded by love” by yet we still feel alone. The last couple of days have really been depressing. I feel like no appreiates me. I don’t want people constantly praising me, but just some acknowledgement of my existance would be ok. It just hit me last night that only one person in my life actualy talks to me without wanting anything from me. No one calls to check up on me and the only time I hear from people is when they need something. The crazy thing is people call and ask for money when they know that my husband is the only person working and we are raising 4 kids. Just because we manage to survive from his check alone doesn’t mean that we can pay our bills and rent and feed our kids and take care of other people’s bills too. In what world does that even make sense? Then there’s people who feel like just because I am a stay at home mom that I have nothing else to do but sit at home watching tv eat ding dongs. I wish! I do have times and days where I can just relax but they are far and between and trust when I do get those times and days I need every minute of it for my own sanity. A part of me just wants to turn my phone off but I feel like the day or second I do a really important call may come through. So for the last few days I have been screening calls and not returning calls, I feel like if it’s important they’ll leave a voicemail or text.

Then there’s still that part of me that feels bad about how I feel. I am blessed and I thank God everyday for providing me and my family with everything that we have. We aren’t struggling and I want to be there for people, but I don’t want that to be the only reason people talk or assoicate with me. Is it really too much to ask for a call of how I’m doing, if I need anything today, have I eaten today ( because most days I’m so busy I forget to eat; then it’s always dinner time before I even realize that I hadn’t eaten anything that day). Is it too much for someone to call me and as”Do you wanna go grab lunch or get a drink, it’s me?” I’ve done that before with just about everyone that I call a friend, but I have not gotten anything in return, especially on really overwhelming days.

Look I realize that everyone has a life and things that they need to accomplish and they can’t spend every waking moment wondering or worrying about me because they have their own things to worry about, but why is it so hard to pick up the phone at least once a month or every other week shoot a text, Facebook message, snap chat message etc. That’s something everyone takes time out of their day to do anyways. Does anyone else feel like this?

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Journey To A Better Me

It seems that since I have become a mother my whole life has changed. Usually that’s how it goes right? Your life is supposed to change because it’s no longer just you that you have to take care of. I remember after I had my oldest son I told myself that he was going to be the only one. Sure enough 3 more boys came! This is where life started really getting interesting!

While I was pregnant with my last son my husband and I got married. I don’t know what it was about that day. I kept feeling like I was supposed to be excited. Like my life was really about to change, but in all honesty nothing felt different at all. We had already been living together and we had a second kid on the way, plus we had already been together 2 years.  After that day everything began to become overwhelming and I didn’t realize until just a few years ago that I had completely forgotten who I was. In fact I started to become someone I never wanted to be.

If I am completely honest now, getting married was never ever in my plans. I don’t know, I just never saw myself as falling in love with anyone, wasn’t really sure that true, real love even existed. In fact when my husband first asked me to marry him I said no. I told him to wait another year to ask me with the hopes that he would change his mind about getting married. After all, all I knew about marriages is they didn’t work. The only people who were still married were my grandparents.

Then a year later, my grandpa came to me he liked my husband since the day he met him and he said that it was time to get married. I took it as my sign from God, that this was in fact the man that I was supposed to marry. So I said yes and in a matter of months we were getting married. Not too long after we married things began to change. My husband didn’t give me the attention that he did before we were married. In fact he told me that he didn’t have to try so hard now because he already married me. I think that was the turning point of me and who I was.

A few months in the marriage I came across a guy that had a huge crush on when I was little and he was single at the time. We started chatting and getting to know each other again and come to find out he had a crush on me too. When he told me that I believed it, but I can clearly remember him being a womanizer and pretty much just loved the attention from whoever would give it to him. Needless to say, we started an very inappropriate conversation and I was swept up in everything he was saying. It had gotten to the point where I would begin to think about him a lot. He would send me good morning messages, which to me showed that I was on his mind when he woke up. We would chat all day long and this started to put distance between my husband and I. My husband was so caught up in work that I didn’t even think that he noticed. Long story short my husband ended up seeing all the messages that we had been sending back and forth and he got upset.

At first I didn’t too much care because this guy was giving me time that my husband wasn’t, but then I saw how much it was hurting my husband and it took a while but my husband forgave me and I stopped talking to that guy. Then for a few months after that things would seem to go really well my husband started showing the attention that he once showed before, then out of the blue it stopped again, and once again I was searching for someone to make me feel wanted. So I joined a dating app and started talking to a new guy and once again the conversation became very inappropriate. Again I was caught and again we went down that same road of arguments and pattern, until my husband finally said that it couldn’t happen again and if it did he would leave.

At this point I told myself that no matter what happened, I needed to stop the nonsense and behave like  a married woman. For a while I did good. But I started feeling unappreciated again from my husband and kids. I started to feel like I had no worth and all the work that I was putting in to be better didn’t even matter because at the end of the day no one cared about me. About my feelings, wants or needs and I needed someone to care about me. I needed someone to make me feel like a person. Sad to say I met someone else he thought I was beautiful and made me feel as such.

I would preform my wifely duties and mother duties at home but in my spare time I would lie about where I was going. I started meeting up with the new guy, who just happened to be the brother of the first guy. He was closer to my age. He knew I had a husband and kids and he wasn’t looking for anything serious. We decided that we would be friends and see where things went from there. I felt so a live when him and I were together. I felt more like me when I was with him. We spent our time talking and laughing and he would hold me. Something I missed with my husband, the only time my husband would show affection was when he wanted something from me. But with this guy it wasn’t like that. He enjoyed spending time with me and I enjoyed his time as well. We watched movies together, smoked together, discovered new music together. We debated a lot, so our conversations were always high spirited.

He made me feel like if something had ever happened between my husband and I that there would still be hope in finding someone that would love me. Even with all my kids. Our relationship went on for months until he started demanding more of my time. Now it wasn’t that he was asking more of my time, it was that I took it that he wanted more of me in a relationship. I didn’t want to just assume, so I asked him and sure enough I was right, the only thing was he was willing to be the side guy only until she found someone that he was going to start a serious relationship with. If that happened, her said that he would be faithful to her and wouldn’t cheat on her with me. That rubbed  the wrong way. How could he have no problem with me cheating on my husband with him, but wouldn’t do the same if he found someone he wanted to make his girlfriend? That seemed like a double standard to me. That changed our relationship. That to me meant that he only wanted to play with my emotions.

I didn’t want to tell him how pissed I was, because I didn’t want to feel like I was catching feeling for him or anything, and I didn’t want him to think I was crazy and then use that as an excuse for him to stop talking to me. No way I was going to let this fuck boy end things ( break up) with me, so I lied and said my husband found out about him and for both of our safety we should call it off. I felt good about it for a few days. Then a few days later I started thinking about him again, I started missing him. So I emailed him everything that I was feeling. I laid it all out. A week went by and I never heard anything from him. So I gave in and texted him asking if he had gotten it. I forgot to delete the message and my husband went through my phone and found the text, then he went through my sent mail and found the email that I sent to him. Then he woke me up and my husband was in tears. He said it was over and for the first real time of all the many times we had been here in this situation, my heart broke. We fought something ugly I packed my bags and I thought this was really it.

My husband did something that changed me though, he took me by the hand and told me I wasn’t going anywhere and neither was he, that we were going to work this out. This is when it hit me, I remember asking God why hanging out with my friend felt so good if it was so wrong. This was the answer…I feel like everything that happened this time with my friend showed me that the grass wasn’t any better on the other side and that I needed to really take a minute and examine my life and my choices, so that’s what I’ve been doing.

I feel that since then I have come a hell of a long way, but you’ll have to wait until my next post to see what things I’ve had to discover about myself, and let me tell you, once I started down this road of who I am and who I want to me, it’s been one I’ll never forget.

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The Differences Between Love and Lust

Firstly we want to look into what love is all about.

Love is involuntary.  Brain science tells us it’s a drive like thirst.  It’s a craving for a specific person. It’s normal, natural to “lose control” in the early stage of romance.  Love, like thirst, will make you do strange things,  But knowledge is power.  It’s a natural addiction and treating it like an addiction can help you. We were built to fall in love and if I may ask: Are YOU in love?

The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the gods.”  Modern psychologists define it as it the strong desire for emotional union with another person.  But what, actually, is love.  It means so many different things to different people. Songwriters have described it, “Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.” Shakespeare said, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see.”  Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

THE OVERALL HYPOTHESIS

But we think that romance is one of three basic brain systems that evolved for mating and reproduction:

The sex drive or lust—the craving for sexual gratification–evolved to enable you to seek a range of potential mating partners.   After all, you can have sex with someone you aren’t in love with.  You can even feel the sex drive when you are driving in your car, reading a magazine or watching a movie.  Lust is not necessarily focused on a particular individual.

Romantic love, or attraction—the obsessive thinking about and craving for a particular person–evolved to enable you to focus your mating energy on just one individual at a time.  As Kabir, the Indian poet put it:  “The lane of love is narrow; there is room for only one.”

Attachmentthe feeling of deep union with a long-term partner–evolved to enable you to remain with a mate at least long enough to rear a single child through infancy together as a team—although many of us remain together much longer, and enjoy the benefits of life with a partner even when there is no goal to have children.

These three brain systems–and feelings–interact in many ways to create our myriad forms of loving.

We began our studies with attraction.  Whether it’s called romantic love, obsessive love, passionate love, or infatuation, men and women of every era and every culture have been affected by this irresistible power.

The intensity of romantic love tends to last somewhere from six months to two years before turning into attachment in most relationships.  Romance is where love begins, and it seems to have the most extreme effect on human behavior.

Behavioral traits of early stage romantic love:

  • Special meaning: the romantic partner is the center of the world, and you like anything they like
  • Intense energy and it’s hard to sleep
  • Loss of appetite
  • Mood swings
  • Separation anxiety
  • Craving
  • Intense motivation for emotional union
  • Possessive
  • Intrusive thinking

Having looked at what love is; We want to look at what lust is all about.

Lust is a craving, it can take any form such as the lust for sexuality, lust for money or the lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food as distinct from the need for food.

Lust holds a critical position in the philosophical underpinnings of Buddhist reality. It is named in the second of the Four Noble Truths, which are that

  1. Suffering (dukkha) is inherent in all life.
  2. Suffering is caused by lust.
  3. There is a natural way to eliminate all suffering from one’s life.
  4. The Noble Eightfold Path is that way.

Lust is the, attachment to, identification with, and passionate desire for certain things in existence, all of which relate to the form, sensation, perception, mentality, and consciousness that certain combinations of these things engender within us. Lust is thus the ultimate cause of general imperfection and the most immediate rootcause of a certain suffering.

The passionate desire for either non-existence or for freedom from lust is a common misunderstanding. For example, the headlong pursuit of lust (or other “deadly sin“) in order to fulfill a desire for death is followed by a reincarnation accompanied by a self-fulfilling karma, resulting in an endless wheel of life, until the right way to live, the right worldview, is somehow discovered and practiced. Beholding an endless knot puts one, symbolically, in the position of the one with the right worldview, representing that person who attains freedom from lust.

In existence are four kinds of things that engender the clinging: rituals, worldviews, pleasures, and the self. The way to eliminate lust is to learn of its unintended effects and to pursue righteousness as concerns a worldview, intention, speech, behavior, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, and concentration, in the place where lust formerly sat.

Signs To Differentiate Lust And Not Love.

If you’re currently dating someone but just can’t figure out whether you’re actually compatible or if it’s just butt loads of sexual chemistry, it can be a bloody confusing time. Matchmaker and heartbreak coach Sarah Louise Ryan explains there are six very obvious signs that’s it’s lust and not love. Here’s how to tell it’s not the real deal and save yourself a whole world of wasted time.

1. You want to know everything and all at once

If the person you’re seeing is really meant to be your next significant other – then what’s the rush? After all, all good things come to those who wait. If it’s lust, you’ll try to be all in – and fast – because you won’t be able to wait to get your next fix of those neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin (they’re what make you feel really good). If it’s love, then you’ll be far more interested in a slow-burning romance rather than blowing off some steam together.

2. You struggle to find commonality

The chemistry may seem to be bang on and will feel like friction, like it’s electric and you just can’t get enough of being in the throws of passion or talking about it. You’ll be addicted to the highs and focus any convo outside of the bedroom on how great your sex is. Yet you can’t find any other commonality, so the conversation just leads down the path to talking about your physical passion (and not much else).

3. You’ve got different outlooks on the world, but you think that’s ok

You like this person – they’re attractive, you feel comfortable in their company, and you want to hang out all the time. But the fact you both have different outlooks on the world and your lifestyles aren’t quite the same doesn’t matter, right? Nope, not a chance. For example, one of you might prefer a winter getaway to a stint in the sunshine, or maybe you both support different football teams – this is fine. What I’m talking about is getting down to the nitty-gritty of values, family orientation, your goals, ambitions, health, fitness and inevitably what you both do to make the world a better place. If you find that there isn’t any alignment and you’re not on the same page about a lot of things, then quite frankly, you’re looking at a whole lot of lust and not much else.

4. It’s not a seamless connection, but it’s exciting

Sometimes ‘getting’ each other feels a tad like swimming against a micro tide but you’re ok with that. The chemistry is there so you think that the compatibility might come in time. Well, it won’t. When you connect with someone that’s right for you, you’ll go through the stages of falling in love which of course include lust. But you will want more as you become attracted to their personality and want to attach to them and only them. Make sure you’re falling hook, line and sinker – not just sinking in lust.

5. You don’t communicate the same way

If you both seem to be constantly seeking the attention of the other, not feeling satisfied or safe in the knowledge that this is it, that it’s something set to last then it’s just lust. If it feels like clutching at straws for one or both of you, then you’re not in it to win it for love. Perhaps you find yourself feeling unsure where this is going, how the other person feels or what on earth is going on? The right person for you wants you to feel at ease because they want to feel at ease too.

6. Everything else falls by the wayside

If you’re attracted to someone and feel completely comfortable with dropping everything of significance around you, then I’m afraid to say that it’s lust and not set to be love. Things of significance can be anything from friends and family, to your hobbies, interests and work. Love comes from compatibility, and that’s based on a deep understanding between the two of you of what’s important, what keeps you ticking and the knowledge that you’re both in for a marathon, not a sex-induced sprint.

It’s tough in the early days to see what on earth is what between chemistry and compatibility, and what it is exactly that sets lust aside from love. As long as you trust your gut, stay true to your values and really know what you want in a relationship, you’ll find that only the people on the same page as you will stick around. In short, lust is for right now, and we all know that when it comes to love everything should just feel right.

 

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Principles to Successful Marriage and Happy Home.

Successful couples are practical, knowledgeable and full of abilities. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience.

The following are the principles to successful Marriage:

  1. Happiness is not the most important thing: Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
  2. Couples discover the value in just showing up: When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
  3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result: Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
  4. Your attitude does matter: Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
  5. Change your mind, Change your marriage: How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
  6. The grass is greenest where you water it: Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
  7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself: Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
  8. Love is a verb not just a feeling: Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
  9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears: Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
  10. A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over: Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
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How to Date Men Without Compromising On Your Values.

So many people feel they have to compromise to find love, but it is not the case. For a long-lasting, healthy relationship, you cannot compromise the core of who you are. You are a proud feminist and you should never be ashamed of that. In fact, contrary to your past experiences, there are lot of men who are proud feminists themselves.

The general rule of thumb about finding love involves finding common interests. As a feminist, there are various ways to find out if you share any common viewpoints. The news is packed with various issues; they can be playfully asked about, and what may seem like a general discussion reveals a lot about their opinions. Religion and politics tend to be a no-go area on first dates, but mentally stimulating conversations are best for all dates. If you are looking for a long-term commitment, shallow conversation tells nothing and do not engage either of you, so you will be bored and easily irritable.

Yet, do you think you are being too harsh? Yes, there are people with misogynistic views, but what if they simply have traditional views which do not negate or contrast to feminism? The true measure is the strictness to which they hold on to those views. Does he care about perception? What does he believe has to be gender roles? Is he able to respect your preferences and needs as an individual? Does he treat men and women you’ve met, such as waiter and waitresses, differently? How does he react to things that ‘challenge’ his masculinity?

Finding that ‘perfect’ partner is hard, harder still when you are very aware of what you want. Whoever you end up with, it should never be by compromise; in the long run, you would both be unhappy and bringing children into it would be worse. Values and principles that matter to you should always be talked about. They cannot wait till it is serious before bringing out the ‘deal-breakers’. So how you would like to raise your children, your opinions on gender roles, and so on, are not something you should ever feel like you need to hide to be with someone, you just have to be patient to find the person whose core views, match closely to yours. I do hope it all works out for you.

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How To Decorate For Your Graduation Party
Graduation Day green and purple theme party with cupcakes and graduation cap toppers.

Every milestone deserves a celebration. Graduations are huge accomplishments and ones you will want to share with family and friends.

When planning a party, graduation decorations are easy to find. The standard tassels, graduation cap, scroll diploma and class of banners, are a must.

Choosing the right combination of grad gear and personalization to reflect the person being celebrated requires additional effort.

Celebration themes are the rave these days. Parties should reflect the personality of the person you are honoring, and you are sure to want the perfect photos to remember the day.

If you have a graduate on the horizon, whether it’s preschool, high school or college, you want to go all out.

Continue reading for decoration ideas to celebrate the graduate.

Determine How Many People to Invite

Graduation is a time of celebration and outwardly demonstrating how proud you are of the honoree. Before you start shopping for graduation decorations, you will first need to know how many people will be invited to the party. The guest of honor can help with this, unless you are planning a surprise party.

Will it be an intimate setting with close family and friends? Will it be a large party including classmates and other people known by the graduate?

The number of people you invite can have an impact on how simple or elaborate the celebration will be. Once you have a number you can set your budget.

Remember, the number of people in attendance isn’t important. The ultimate goal is to create a memorable moment for the graduate.

Choose the Perfect Venue

The venue you choose can make or break your event when it comes to choosing graduation decorations.

Some locations will not allow you to hang items on the wall or from the ceiling. You may or may not be able to light candles.

If you have a particular color scheme, it could clash with the venue’s decor.

Hosting a graduation party outdoors comes with its own list of things to consider.

Will you have an alternative location just in case the weather takes a turn for the worse? Hanging decorations could be challenging if there are no trees, poles or walls.

When hosting an event in an outdoor venue take into consideration that decorations are more likely to blow over, and get damaged. Bring extra tape and paperweights to secure tabletop items.

Another item on your list should be seating. There are three shapes in tables and each seats a certain number of guests.

Create a Theme Using Graduation Decorations

Whatever decoration you choose, carry the theme throughout your set-up. This includes centerpieces, photo backdrops or photo-booths, signage and favors.

Create a color scheme and stick with it. Your table linens, chair coverings, and draping should all be in the designated colors.

It is also very popular to ask guests to dress in certain colors to carry the theme forward.

Consider hiring a deejay that can incorporate graphics into their lighting displays. How cool is it to have the graduate’s name illuminated on the wall along with graduation cap and diploma.

Have fun with your theme by adding items that reflect items the graduate loves. If she plays tennis, include tennis rackets. If he loves surfing, throw in a surfboard.

Don’t forget to reflect the college the graduate will be attending or has recently graduated from.

Design the Invitations

The invitations are often the best part of the decorations. You could say they are the blueprint to what the final set-up will look like.

There are so many trinkets, cut-outs, stickers and invitation papers at your local craft stores. The sky is the limit so let your creative side come through.

Make the invitation a keepsake by including a cap and gown picture of the graduate. You could also have guests bring it with them to win a party favor.

Another idea, if you need a program for the evening, is to use the same cover design from the invitation.

Your graduation decorations could even incorporate the invitation design into your photo backdrop.

Decorate With Flowers

Incorporating flowers for events in bulk can come in the form of floral sculptures. These creative works of art can create a centerpiece that will be the talk of the party.

Imagine a giant graduation cap or Class of 2018 made of flowers.

If that is out of your price range, make centerpieces in the graduate’s school colors. Flowers can also be used in graduation decorations by placing them in large vases and strategically placing them in the venue.

You could create a floral pathway at an outdoor party on the beach. You could also place a thank you note on their stems and give to guest as they depart.

Popular flowers for a graduation include frilly carnations, daisies, sunflowers and other fun colorful blooms.

Order the Perfect Cake

One last tip for graduation decorations is the cake. Cakes have come a long way, and they can be shaped into any object you can imagine.

For your graduation celebration, you can do something simple like buying a sheet cake with “Congratulations!” written on it. Let’s be honest, that would be really boring.

Go all out with a themed cake like Dr. Seuss’s book “The Places You’ll Go,” which is often quoted during graduation speeches.

Do a three tier cake in the graduate’s school colors and a graduation cap on top. What about a diploma cake or a stack of books representing their favorite subjects.

When it’s time for the cake place sparklers on top for a real celebratory moment.

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Forgiveness – Breaking the Cycle of Resentment

Over 20 years ago, my mother disowned me for a period of 10 years of my life. It wasn’t something I could ever imagine doing to one of my children, but it happened. It was one of the most painful times of my life. I was angry at her. I got married and gave birth to my first child and she wasn’t there. I missed her and longed for a mother-daughter relationship. I cried a lot. Today my mother and I have a beautiful relationship and I am so grateful for our reconciliation. As a matter of fact, her birthday card to me this year said, “You are the best daughter”. Did this relationship we have today happen overnight? The answer is no. At the core of our relationship today is forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

“Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to – 94% surveyed in a nationwide Gallup poll said it was important to forgive-in the same survey; only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.”

I don’t think a single person can escape life without experiencing hurt by another person. Maybe the hurt is angry words spoken during an argument or a friend who surprises you with betrayal. Perhaps the pain comes from emotional neglect, infidelity, divorce or even sexual and physical abuse. Sometimes the hurt is a one time event. Other times the pain continues for a long time.

Forgiveness is a necessary step to healing from pain. It is a choice to extend mercy to the person who hurt you. Sometimes forgiveness allows you to move forward with the other person and experience a new relationship. Other times, reconciliation is not possible. In this case, forgiveness is more for you and your own personal growth.

Why forgive?

First and foremost, God commands us to forgive. In Mark 11:25-26, it says “And when you stand in praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.”

You might be saying, “But you don’t understand what’s been done to me.” And you’re right; I don’t know all the hurts you’ve endured. However, I know from experience that it pays to forgive. Forgiveness is a sign of strength – not weakness. It is the strong who can put aside the past and let go of anger and resentment. My mom comes from a large family, with seven brothers and sisters. There has been a lot of sibling rivalry, and I’m always amazed at the amount of resentment that still remains in the family today.

Anger and resentment drains your energy, and keeps you imprisoned by your past. By choosing to let go of your hurt and anger, you give yourself the freedom to fully experience joy in life. Anger builds inside us, so by letting go, you improve your ability to control your anger. We’ve all seen the person who blows up at the smallest incident. It is the accumulation of built up anger that is unreleased that causes this explosion. So many diseases, like heart disease and cancer, can be triggered by unresolved resentment. By choosing to forgive, you can dramatically improve your emotional and physical health.

Without forgiveness, you cannot move forward in your own personal and relational growth.

What forgiveness is not?

Forgiveness does not mean you allow people to treat you badly. It does not mean you ignore the wrongdoings. It means you accept that the person has made a mistake, and you are choosing to grant them mercy. When you forgive someone, you won’t necessarily forget the hurt. I will always remember the pain I felt when my mom disowned me, but I do not dwell on it, and I do not let it interfere with the quality of our relationship today. I have allowed myself to heal and move on. Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning or excusing the person’s behavior. And it doesn’t mean you have to trust that person again. Some acts, like physical and sexual abuse, require that you limit your trust or at least test the trust with the person who hurt you. Remember, forgiveness is more for you than the other person.

The process of forgiving

So you’ve thought about it and you’re ready to forgive. You’re tired of holding on to old pain and you’ve decided it’s time to let go and move on. What do you do? First, you must face and release the anger that you feel. On the surface of the hurt is anger and you need to break away that layer first. Underneath the anger is the pain and hurt that you must grieve. There are many ways to release anger and hurt. You can talk about it with trusted people. You can spend time journaling. You can pray about it and ask God to take away that pain and resentment. You can express your feelings to the person who hurt you, provided that it’s possible to have a healthy conversation where both you and the other person speak and listen in respectful ways.

One of the best and most cleansing ways to release your negative feelings is to write a letter to your perpetrator. In this letter, you pour out every emotion you feel. You tell them everything that hurt you and everything they did to make you angry. Do not hold anything back. Allow yourself to really feel the anger and cry the tears by reading it out loud to yourself. When you are done, burn or bury the letter as a symbol that you are ready to move on. DO NOT give the letter to the person. This letter is for you and you only.

After processing all your emotions, you are ready to make the choice to forgive. It is a choice that requires compassion, understanding and an open and loving heart. When my mother and I first reconciled, we talked about our feelings. Sometimes we even fought because the pain was still fresh. But we listened to one another and we tried to get inside each other’s shoes. It wasn’t easy, but today, even though I don’t agree with some of my mother’s beliefs, I have compassion and understanding for who she is and why she made the choice she did. I love her regardless of our differences.

Each of us makes mistakes in life. At one time or another (probably more than one time), we will hurt another person. Maybe it will be an accident, or perhaps it will be a purposeful reaction to someone hurting you. When this does happen, do you want to be forgiven? Do you want another chance to make amends? Most people don’t mean to hurt us – they are dealing with their own pain and unresolved resentment. It’s unfortunate that we take it out on our loved ones, but until we break the cycle, it will continue to happen.

Are you ready to break the cycle and do your part to forgive?

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Is Your Family Really Benefiting When You Work at Home?

You’ve beaten the obstacles and found a way to work at home, whether by finding a job or starting a home business. But is your work getting in the way of time with your family? It may be time to make sure you are finding balance between working at home and your family.

Let’s take a look at some easy things you can do to ensure that you are spending time with your family.

1. Make time for play. Family activities are a great way to relax away from work. It can be as simple as taking a walk or going to the park, or it could be a full day excursion to a museum, amusement part or beach. You don’t have to leave the house, of course. You could play games, make cookies or do other fun activities around the house. The point is to simply have fun as a family and have time to talk to each other.

One way to start is to plan a family night. Tell everyone they have to be home on a particular evening each week and do things as a family. Even if you just rent a movie to watch together, it’s something you’re doing together.

If you’re married, make sure you plan a regular date night with your spouse. Frequency may depend on how old your children are and how often you can get babysitting, but it is important for your marriage to have time as a couple.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun with your family. Just make time for fun.

2. Be there for your children’s activities. If your children are involved in sports, acting, singing or other activities, make sure you are there for all the games, performances or other important events. It will help your children to know that they are very important to you.

3. Set rules and enforce them. If your children understand when they can interrupt your work you will be able to get more done in less time, giving you more time for your family.

Of course, you need to be consistent. If kids get away with breaking the rules some of the time, they will test the rules often. Consistency will save you time in the long run, even if you aren’t sure you want to spare the time at a particular moment.

4. Pay attention to what kind of attention each child needs. Every child is different. Some demand attention while others are so quiet it’s easy to forget that they need you too. Make sure you spend time with each child as an individual.

5. When the kids come home from school, take some time to talk about their day. They will appreciate your interest. You should also make sure they understand their homework and start it at whatever time they do best at finishing it. Some do best starting homework immediately on getting home, while others do better if they can play for a while first. Be aware of your child’s needs.

6. If your work is something the children can help with, let them be involved. If not, you can still at least talk to them about what you do. This sets a good example for your children by helping them to know what working is really about.

It’s easy to get buried in the needs of your work when you work at home. A little bit of planning can go a long way toward making working at home a wonderful experience for all. Your family is why you decided to work at home, so don’t let your time with them get put aside.

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