Available Balance
Principles to Successful Marriage and Happy Home.

Successful couples are practical, knowledgeable and full of abilities. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience.

The following are the principles to successful Marriage:

  1. Happiness is not the most important thing: Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
  2. Couples discover the value in just showing up: When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
  3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result: Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
  4. Your attitude does matter: Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
  5. Change your mind, Change your marriage: How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
  6. The grass is greenest where you water it: Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
  7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself: Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
  8. Love is a verb not just a feeling: Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
  9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears: Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
  10. A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over: Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
Rate This Content
How to Date Men Without Compromising On Your Values.

So many people feel they have to compromise to find love, but it is not the case. For a long-lasting, healthy relationship, you cannot compromise the core of who you are. You are a proud feminist and you should never be ashamed of that. In fact, contrary to your past experiences, there are lot of men who are proud feminists themselves.

The general rule of thumb about finding love involves finding common interests. As a feminist, there are various ways to find out if you share any common viewpoints. The news is packed with various issues; they can be playfully asked about, and what may seem like a general discussion reveals a lot about their opinions. Religion and politics tend to be a no-go area on first dates, but mentally stimulating conversations are best for all dates. If you are looking for a long-term commitment, shallow conversation tells nothing and do not engage either of you, so you will be bored and easily irritable.

Yet, do you think you are being too harsh? Yes, there are people with misogynistic views, but what if they simply have traditional views which do not negate or contrast to feminism? The true measure is the strictness to which they hold on to those views. Does he care about perception? What does he believe has to be gender roles? Is he able to respect your preferences and needs as an individual? Does he treat men and women you’ve met, such as waiter and waitresses, differently? How does he react to things that ‘challenge’ his masculinity?

Finding that ‘perfect’ partner is hard, harder still when you are very aware of what you want. Whoever you end up with, it should never be by compromise; in the long run, you would both be unhappy and bringing children into it would be worse. Values and principles that matter to you should always be talked about. They cannot wait till it is serious before bringing out the ‘deal-breakers’. So how you would like to raise your children, your opinions on gender roles, and so on, are not something you should ever feel like you need to hide to be with someone, you just have to be patient to find the person whose core views, match closely to yours. I do hope it all works out for you.

Rate This Content
How To Decorate For Your Graduation Party
Graduation Day green and purple theme party with cupcakes and graduation cap toppers.

Every milestone deserves a celebration. Graduations are huge accomplishments and ones you will want to share with family and friends.

When planning a party, graduation decorations are easy to find. The standard tassels, graduation cap, scroll diploma and class of banners, are a must.

Choosing the right combination of grad gear and personalization to reflect the person being celebrated requires additional effort.

Celebration themes are the rave these days. Parties should reflect the personality of the person you are honoring, and you are sure to want the perfect photos to remember the day.

If you have a graduate on the horizon, whether it’s preschool, high school or college, you want to go all out.

Continue reading for decoration ideas to celebrate the graduate.

Determine How Many People to Invite

Graduation is a time of celebration and outwardly demonstrating how proud you are of the honoree. Before you start shopping for graduation decorations, you will first need to know how many people will be invited to the party. The guest of honor can help with this, unless you are planning a surprise party.

Will it be an intimate setting with close family and friends? Will it be a large party including classmates and other people known by the graduate?

The number of people you invite can have an impact on how simple or elaborate the celebration will be. Once you have a number you can set your budget.

Remember, the number of people in attendance isn’t important. The ultimate goal is to create a memorable moment for the graduate.

Choose the Perfect Venue

The venue you choose can make or break your event when it comes to choosing graduation decorations.

Some locations will not allow you to hang items on the wall or from the ceiling. You may or may not be able to light candles.

If you have a particular color scheme, it could clash with the venue’s decor.

Hosting a graduation party outdoors comes with its own list of things to consider.

Will you have an alternative location just in case the weather takes a turn for the worse? Hanging decorations could be challenging if there are no trees, poles or walls.

When hosting an event in an outdoor venue take into consideration that decorations are more likely to blow over, and get damaged. Bring extra tape and paperweights to secure tabletop items.

Another item on your list should be seating. There are three shapes in tables and each seats a certain number of guests.

Create a Theme Using Graduation Decorations

Whatever decoration you choose, carry the theme throughout your set-up. This includes centerpieces, photo backdrops or photo-booths, signage and favors.

Create a color scheme and stick with it. Your table linens, chair coverings, and draping should all be in the designated colors.

It is also very popular to ask guests to dress in certain colors to carry the theme forward.

Consider hiring a deejay that can incorporate graphics into their lighting displays. How cool is it to have the graduate’s name illuminated on the wall along with graduation cap and diploma.

Have fun with your theme by adding items that reflect items the graduate loves. If she plays tennis, include tennis rackets. If he loves surfing, throw in a surfboard.

Don’t forget to reflect the college the graduate will be attending or has recently graduated from.

Design the Invitations

The invitations are often the best part of the decorations. You could say they are the blueprint to what the final set-up will look like.

There are so many trinkets, cut-outs, stickers and invitation papers at your local craft stores. The sky is the limit so let your creative side come through.

Make the invitation a keepsake by including a cap and gown picture of the graduate. You could also have guests bring it with them to win a party favor.

Another idea, if you need a program for the evening, is to use the same cover design from the invitation.

Your graduation decorations could even incorporate the invitation design into your photo backdrop.

Decorate With Flowers

Incorporating flowers for events in bulk can come in the form of floral sculptures. These creative works of art can create a centerpiece that will be the talk of the party.

Imagine a giant graduation cap or Class of 2018 made of flowers.

If that is out of your price range, make centerpieces in the graduate’s school colors. Flowers can also be used in graduation decorations by placing them in large vases and strategically placing them in the venue.

You could create a floral pathway at an outdoor party on the beach. You could also place a thank you note on their stems and give to guest as they depart.

Popular flowers for a graduation include frilly carnations, daisies, sunflowers and other fun colorful blooms.

Order the Perfect Cake

One last tip for graduation decorations is the cake. Cakes have come a long way, and they can be shaped into any object you can imagine.

For your graduation celebration, you can do something simple like buying a sheet cake with “Congratulations!” written on it. Let’s be honest, that would be really boring.

Go all out with a themed cake like Dr. Seuss’s book “The Places You’ll Go,” which is often quoted during graduation speeches.

Do a three tier cake in the graduate’s school colors and a graduation cap on top. What about a diploma cake or a stack of books representing their favorite subjects.

When it’s time for the cake place sparklers on top for a real celebratory moment.

Rate This Content
Forgiveness – Breaking the Cycle of Resentment

Over 20 years ago, my mother disowned me for a period of 10 years of my life. It wasn’t something I could ever imagine doing to one of my children, but it happened. It was one of the most painful times of my life. I was angry at her. I got married and gave birth to my first child and she wasn’t there. I missed her and longed for a mother-daughter relationship. I cried a lot. Today my mother and I have a beautiful relationship and I am so grateful for our reconciliation. As a matter of fact, her birthday card to me this year said, “You are the best daughter”. Did this relationship we have today happen overnight? The answer is no. At the core of our relationship today is forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

“Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to – 94% surveyed in a nationwide Gallup poll said it was important to forgive-in the same survey; only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.”

I don’t think a single person can escape life without experiencing hurt by another person. Maybe the hurt is angry words spoken during an argument or a friend who surprises you with betrayal. Perhaps the pain comes from emotional neglect, infidelity, divorce or even sexual and physical abuse. Sometimes the hurt is a one time event. Other times the pain continues for a long time.

Forgiveness is a necessary step to healing from pain. It is a choice to extend mercy to the person who hurt you. Sometimes forgiveness allows you to move forward with the other person and experience a new relationship. Other times, reconciliation is not possible. In this case, forgiveness is more for you and your own personal growth.

Why forgive?

First and foremost, God commands us to forgive. In Mark 11:25-26, it says “And when you stand in praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.”

You might be saying, “But you don’t understand what’s been done to me.” And you’re right; I don’t know all the hurts you’ve endured. However, I know from experience that it pays to forgive. Forgiveness is a sign of strength – not weakness. It is the strong who can put aside the past and let go of anger and resentment. My mom comes from a large family, with seven brothers and sisters. There has been a lot of sibling rivalry, and I’m always amazed at the amount of resentment that still remains in the family today.

Anger and resentment drains your energy, and keeps you imprisoned by your past. By choosing to let go of your hurt and anger, you give yourself the freedom to fully experience joy in life. Anger builds inside us, so by letting go, you improve your ability to control your anger. We’ve all seen the person who blows up at the smallest incident. It is the accumulation of built up anger that is unreleased that causes this explosion. So many diseases, like heart disease and cancer, can be triggered by unresolved resentment. By choosing to forgive, you can dramatically improve your emotional and physical health.

Without forgiveness, you cannot move forward in your own personal and relational growth.

What forgiveness is not?

Forgiveness does not mean you allow people to treat you badly. It does not mean you ignore the wrongdoings. It means you accept that the person has made a mistake, and you are choosing to grant them mercy. When you forgive someone, you won’t necessarily forget the hurt. I will always remember the pain I felt when my mom disowned me, but I do not dwell on it, and I do not let it interfere with the quality of our relationship today. I have allowed myself to heal and move on. Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning or excusing the person’s behavior. And it doesn’t mean you have to trust that person again. Some acts, like physical and sexual abuse, require that you limit your trust or at least test the trust with the person who hurt you. Remember, forgiveness is more for you than the other person.

The process of forgiving

So you’ve thought about it and you’re ready to forgive. You’re tired of holding on to old pain and you’ve decided it’s time to let go and move on. What do you do? First, you must face and release the anger that you feel. On the surface of the hurt is anger and you need to break away that layer first. Underneath the anger is the pain and hurt that you must grieve. There are many ways to release anger and hurt. You can talk about it with trusted people. You can spend time journaling. You can pray about it and ask God to take away that pain and resentment. You can express your feelings to the person who hurt you, provided that it’s possible to have a healthy conversation where both you and the other person speak and listen in respectful ways.

One of the best and most cleansing ways to release your negative feelings is to write a letter to your perpetrator. In this letter, you pour out every emotion you feel. You tell them everything that hurt you and everything they did to make you angry. Do not hold anything back. Allow yourself to really feel the anger and cry the tears by reading it out loud to yourself. When you are done, burn or bury the letter as a symbol that you are ready to move on. DO NOT give the letter to the person. This letter is for you and you only.

After processing all your emotions, you are ready to make the choice to forgive. It is a choice that requires compassion, understanding and an open and loving heart. When my mother and I first reconciled, we talked about our feelings. Sometimes we even fought because the pain was still fresh. But we listened to one another and we tried to get inside each other’s shoes. It wasn’t easy, but today, even though I don’t agree with some of my mother’s beliefs, I have compassion and understanding for who she is and why she made the choice she did. I love her regardless of our differences.

Each of us makes mistakes in life. At one time or another (probably more than one time), we will hurt another person. Maybe it will be an accident, or perhaps it will be a purposeful reaction to someone hurting you. When this does happen, do you want to be forgiven? Do you want another chance to make amends? Most people don’t mean to hurt us – they are dealing with their own pain and unresolved resentment. It’s unfortunate that we take it out on our loved ones, but until we break the cycle, it will continue to happen.

Are you ready to break the cycle and do your part to forgive?

Rate This Content
Is Your Family Really Benefiting When You Work at Home?

You’ve beaten the obstacles and found a way to work at home, whether by finding a job or starting a home business. But is your work getting in the way of time with your family? It may be time to make sure you are finding balance between working at home and your family.

Let’s take a look at some easy things you can do to ensure that you are spending time with your family.

1. Make time for play. Family activities are a great way to relax away from work. It can be as simple as taking a walk or going to the park, or it could be a full day excursion to a museum, amusement part or beach. You don’t have to leave the house, of course. You could play games, make cookies or do other fun activities around the house. The point is to simply have fun as a family and have time to talk to each other.

One way to start is to plan a family night. Tell everyone they have to be home on a particular evening each week and do things as a family. Even if you just rent a movie to watch together, it’s something you’re doing together.

If you’re married, make sure you plan a regular date night with your spouse. Frequency may depend on how old your children are and how often you can get babysitting, but it is important for your marriage to have time as a couple.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun with your family. Just make time for fun.

2. Be there for your children’s activities. If your children are involved in sports, acting, singing or other activities, make sure you are there for all the games, performances or other important events. It will help your children to know that they are very important to you.

3. Set rules and enforce them. If your children understand when they can interrupt your work you will be able to get more done in less time, giving you more time for your family.

Of course, you need to be consistent. If kids get away with breaking the rules some of the time, they will test the rules often. Consistency will save you time in the long run, even if you aren’t sure you want to spare the time at a particular moment.

4. Pay attention to what kind of attention each child needs. Every child is different. Some demand attention while others are so quiet it’s easy to forget that they need you too. Make sure you spend time with each child as an individual.

5. When the kids come home from school, take some time to talk about their day. They will appreciate your interest. You should also make sure they understand their homework and start it at whatever time they do best at finishing it. Some do best starting homework immediately on getting home, while others do better if they can play for a while first. Be aware of your child’s needs.

6. If your work is something the children can help with, let them be involved. If not, you can still at least talk to them about what you do. This sets a good example for your children by helping them to know what working is really about.

It’s easy to get buried in the needs of your work when you work at home. A little bit of planning can go a long way toward making working at home a wonderful experience for all. Your family is why you decided to work at home, so don’t let your time with them get put aside.

Rate This Content
How to Find Age Appropriate Toys for Children

Fond memories of childhood usually bring to mind a favorite toy. A cuddly doll, colorful crayons, or a special wagon are all childhood favorites. Toys bring a great deal of joy to children, but they also can be valuable learning tools. Exploring, pretending, and sharing are just a few of the important skills children develop while they play. Toys don’t have to be expensive. Cardboard boxes in the backyard and measuring cups in the bathtub are favorite standards. But parents who do wish to purchase toys may find it helpful to know what toys to choose and which to avoid for children of different ages.

Every child is unique, has its specific pattern of development and has different ways of cruising through the milestones of physical, mental and social development. Infants and toddlers learn about the world through their senses. They are interested in the sight, sound, smell, texture, and taste of things. Objects or toys that can be squeezed, dropped, poked, twisted, or thrown are sure to cause delight. Toddlers also enjoy any item that can be stacked, poured, opened, closed, pushed, or pulled. Toys are vital for the physical and mental development of your infant baby. The toys have a significant bearing on your infants personality, therefore must be carefully selected.

During these years, children use their imagination to imitate adult activity and participate actively in physical games. Their physical coordination develops, and the foundation of printing and writing is also laid at this time. Preschool children learn by doing. They are busy developing new skills. They like drawing, painting, and building. They also spend a great deal of time pretending. Dress-up clothes, pretend play and puppets are big favorites. Preschoolers are energetic and active. They need large balls to roll and throw, wagons to pull, and tricycles to ride.

At this stage children learn about getting along with others, and about the adult world of sports, games and careers. They develop intellectual and social interests and make strong friendships, likes and dislikes. School-age children feel more grown-up and love activities that lead to (real products¦ such as jewelry, (designer¦ T-shirts, or stamp collections. They also develop a keen interest in sports and enjoy having adult-like physical equipment such as softball gloves, tennis rackets, or skates. They have a better understanding of rules and enjoy playing with others. Board games, cards, or dominoes teach math concepts and problem-solving skills.

The age of your child and not the activity level, is a primary factor in selecting an appropriate toy. Toys should not promote a single thought or concept; instead, they should enhance creativity and thinking skills. Toys and games are also important for the child to learn and practice logical and problem-solving. Toys that can be played in a number of ways serve as great educational tools and endorse comprehensive development of your child.

Rate This Content
A letter to my daughter

We are all looking to find that special person to share our lives with through the ups and downs and everything that comes with it and hopefully that person has a positive outlook and will truly love us for who we are.

Always remember that you can’t have the sweet without the sour as it were.

When you say I love you; make sure you mean it because to say it and not mean it is truly the most painful of all lies.

Listen to your heart and not nay-sayers, our futures are defined by our choices and not by chances we may take along the way. Everyone in your world may have an opinion but the fact of the matter is that only we can decide where we want to be. What will make us happy.

If you make a mistake have the courage to admit it, it doesn’t matter if you are forgiven or not, what matters most is that you took responsibility.

Always remember that no matter how bad of a mistake you may make, no matter how much pain and regret it may cause, the people who truly love you will see past it because you matter to them more than you may fully realize.

Live each day as if it were your last. One day it will be.

Don’t wake up one day wondering what might have been. You made your bed so you must lie in it, if the choice was wrong then do something about it. There is nothing you cannot change or correct if you have the will to fight for what you want.

Believe in yourself and in your dreams, always have hope and love will most certainly find you.

Most importantly, never settle for less than what you know you are worth.

If someone tells you they love you and you are unsure in your heart then test their love. Let that person prove to you that they love you.

Love is there for each of us, it is simply a matter of finding it, if it’s meant to be it will be, but don’t force it to happen, let nature take its course.

Never forget that I love you, I always have and I always will.

Love dad.

c/o Garret

She responded with this:

I love you two daddy,

This is for you.

Think about the items on the following list one at a time BEFORE you go on to the next one … IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end … so allow your imagination to enjoy each of these situations …

1. Falling in love

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts

3. A hot shower

4. No lines at the supermarket

5. A special glance

6. Getting mail

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer

11. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry!)

12. A bubble bath

13. Giggling

14. A good conversation

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter

17. Laughing at yourself

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours

20. Running through sprinklers

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all

22. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful (or handsome)

23. Laughing at an inside joke

24. Friends

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep

27 Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner)

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones

29. Playing with a new puppy

30. Having someone play with your hair

31. Sweet dreams

32. Hot chocolate

33. Road trips with friends

34. Swinging on swings

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger

36. Making chocolate chip cookies

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies

38. Holding hands with someone you care about

39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change

40. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you

41. Watching the sunrise

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day

43. Knowing that somebody misses you

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply

45. Knowing you’ve done the right thing no matter what other people think

Pass on these natural highs to people you care about in the next half hour and something wonderful will happen to you today. Real friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Rate This Content
Expectations can hurt us what not to expect

When we give, it is but natural for us to expect something in return. This is true for any kind of human relationship whether it be friendships, romantic relationships or family ties. There is no escaping the desire to be appreciated, to be rewarded and to obtain some token in exchange for the favors we do.

     But when we constantly give, there are times when the person becomes conditioned to keep on receiving. Every so often our generosity is taken for granted. In some cases, the person even becomes dependent on us. And this is when problems arise.

     It takes maturity and reflection to realize that when people are kind to us, we should not abuse it. In fact, we should reciprocate. For is this not upon which a healthy and mature relationship is based? The principle of give and take is an essential ingredient of any lasting human relationship.

     However, there are people who may be blinded by their ego and may fail to appreciate what others do for them. A proud person finds it difficult to acknowledge the generosity of others because he sees this as an admission of his dependence.

     If we feel that our efforts are unappreciated or that we are already being used, then it is not wrong to stop giving. What is wrong is to encourage other people’s dependence on us. Because if we do so, it won’t be long before we find ourselves being manipulated and abused.

     It takes an even greater level of maturity to not expect anything at all, because the true essence of selflessness is to see that giving is its own reward. By realizing this, we can rid ourselves of any expectation. And by having no expectations, we will avoid being hurt.
The bottom life, treat others as you would like to be treated. Return kindness with kindness. Forgive others as others have forgiven you. Learn from the times you have been let down.

Rate This Content
Don’t be a doormat or let people use you.
legs-If you want to relax, watch the clouds pass by if you're laying on the grass, or sit in front of the creek; just doing nothing and having those still moments is what really rejuvenates the body. - by Miranda Kerr Everyone is busy with his own daily schedule, working for a job to survive, study in order to achieve good academic result and homemakers busy with household chores, baby sitting. You have a lengthy to do list that you could hardly accomplish half of them throughout the day. You feel frustrated, disappointed and stress out because things are always going the wrong way. Your daily tasks and responsibilities are never ending, it never will either ! You are not alone... No matter how busy you are, it is crucial that you need to take some time out to : recharge your energy rejuvenate your body relax your mind and soul From home to office, from home to school, work is never done because your boss / teacher only demand for more sales/academic results and obligation to accomplish every tasks given. You barely had any room to breathe for a second. You are too busy with your personal schedule that you don't have any spare time for your family or even yourself. Now, it is time to replenish your needs before you burnt out your brain. Here are some useful tips how to take some time out to relax # 1 - Enjoy a Drink Order a soothing, cool drink or a cup of warm tea/coffee/cocoa . Better still, make your own drink at home. Sit down on a sofa, try to relax yourself, read your favorite book, magazine but not the newspaper. Don't fret yourself over the daily news because you had enough plate of it at work. #2- Mini vacation Plan for a mini vacation trip to nearby places or out-station. You don't have to go oversea vacation which is expensive and tiring after a long trip. You can save money on short distance trip and enjoy the relaxation of the facilities provided. Look up at budget vacation websites, book the vacation package online to save the hassle of driving and getting stuck in the traffic jam. Always compare the prices and facilities before deciding where to go for your vacation. Make sure that transportation is provided ( tour bus- so that you don't have to drive, time to sleep during the journey) #3- Listen to Music If you can't apply for a leave from your job, why not enjoy a good dance at the disco, aerobic exercise, enroll yourself for a dance lesson or simply on the Home theatre system / radio and dance to your favorite music! This is the best way to release your stress which will help you to enlighten your mood. Music in your ears is better than your boss lectures. #4- Brisk walk A morning or evening brisk walk is essential. A daily walk of 20 minutes will help you to relax your mind and body. Breathe in the fresh air. Enjoy outdoor activities such as bird watching, the view of flower beds, kids playing, people cycling, sunrise, sunset. Give your tired eyes a break from electronic gadgets. #5- Watch a short video If your internet speed is fast, no disconnection, you might as well watch a short film, movie or variety show to entertain yourself. Sit down on the couch, get some healthy snacks and drinks. Do enjoy a good show to relax yourself. A comedy video would be better to keep yourself happy. More tips: call a friend hit the gym sleep soak yourself in a bathtub go for a spa pamper yourself with a massage Any other relaxing tips to share with me? Copyright allrights reserved by peachpurple Photo belonged to peachpurple Read more articles written by peachpurple HERE Join LiteracyBase NOW and start sharing your experience with us while earning moneyput out your legs and relax-pixabay.com

You consider yourself a trustworthy friend, loyal and dependable. You try your best to be helpful and generous to the friends you make. You invest much time and effort in a friendship. You’re always around to listen. Because of this, you’re the person your friends run to during times of crisis. You eventually become the one individual who is always there to help.

But occasionally, you meet a friend who is incapable of reciprocating.

You may encounter someone who will only look for you when you’re needed. But when you’re the one in need, this friend will offer some convenient excuse not to be there. There is always something more important than you. You are never a priority. And even when you’re together, your friend constantly insists on getting his way. You’re forced to follow whatever your friend wants and you give whatever he needs. Your wishes remain secondary.

Despite this, you continue to hope that this friend will realize how well you treat him and that he should give some time and effort back. But this friend never does. In the end, you eventually feel drained. And when your usefulness to this friend has run out, you may find yourself discarded and forgotten.

Sometimes the desire to feel accepted makes a person vulnerable to abuse. This is especially the case with lonely individuals. Opportunistic people will see this weakness and may come to exploit it. If you feel you have friends who only seek you out when they need you, maybe it is time to rethink these so-called friendships. Otherwise, you may eventually end up a discarded doormat.

Ive been there before with a friend who becane my room mate only to not pay rent and wind up stealing from me.

I moved in with my sister but she charged me an absurd amount of rent.

Rate This Content
Images Joaquin Phoenix’s tragic real-life story.
April 26, 2018

Actor Joaquin Phoenix, who went by the name
Leaf in his younger years, has been a mainstay in the entertainment industry for decades. He was discovered after he and his four siblings — Summer, Rain, Liberty, and his late brother, River (1970-1993) — were spotted singing and dancing on the streets of Westwood, California, according to Esquire . After a breakout performance in the 1989 film
Parenthood, he went on to appear in more than a few box office hits, including Walk the Line and Gladiator. With a Cannes Film Festival and Golden Globes awards underneath his belt, he’s been heralded as the
“most fascinating actor” in the movie business.
The brilliance he displays on camera is unparalleled, but his private life is far less glamorous. From spending his formative years in a cult, to watching his older brother die of a drug overdose, his life experiences sound more like the plot line for one of his award-winning films. But even the best screenwriters can’t capture the hardships and devastation the actor has lived through. This is Joaquin Phoenix’s tragic real-life story.
Cult life
Phoenix was far removed from the Hollywood lifestyle when his parents joined a controversial cult, formerly known as Children of God, in the 1970s. Phoenix, his parents, and his four siblings spent most of their time traveling with the religious sect all throughout Central and South America, he told Playboy (via Us Weekly ).
After discovering the harsh truth about the cult — which allegedly encouraged children as young as 3 to explore their sexuality with their parents, other adults, and other children — Phoenix’s parents became “disillusioned” with their affiliation and decided it was time to pack up and get the heck out of dodge. “I think my parents thought they’d found a community that shared their ideals. Cults rarely advertise themselves as such. It’s usually someone saying, ‘We’re like-minded people. This is a community,’ but I think the moment my parents realized there was something more to it, they got out,” he told Playboy .
The family then made the trek to California, later dropping their surname of Bottom and adopting the last name Phoenix, before pushing the actor and his siblings into the entertainment industry.
While Phoenix’s late brother, River, told
Details magazine (via LA Weekly ) that his first sexual experience within the cult happened at the age of 4, Phoenix has remained mum about any trauma he may have experienced. We can only imagine what he was subjected to and how it could’ve played a role in his life snowballing out of control once he reached adulthood.
Homeless youth
After leaving the Children of God missionaries behind, Phoenix and his family settled into life in Los Angeles, but they weren’t living the glitzy and glam lifestyle that the city is known for. It was the late-70s, and living in the City of Angels was far from being inexpensive even way back in the good old days — and especially since there were seven mouths to feed in the Phoenix household.
His parents struggled to make ends meet, and there was a time when the entire family was homeless. “Even when we had no money, we still had a car to sleep in and a friend’s driveway we could park in and a dad who said, ‘I’m going to take care of you,'” the actor told Details magazine (via People).
Leave it to Phoenix to always find the silver lining in all of his life’s most darkest moments.
A one-bedroom apartment for seven
With five children to take care of, his parents struggled for a brief period of time, and the family was forced to live in a less than ideal housing situation. They were all holed up in an apartment that Phoenix described as, “one bedroom, no kids allowed, and we were five kids. But the manager [at the time] took kindly to us and was like, ‘You can live here, but if the owner comes over, I’ll call you and you have to hide the kids’,” he recalled while speaking to Esquire magazine.
Sometimes, the owner would stop by, and he and his siblings — including sisters Rain and Summer (pictured from left to right) — would have to hide behind a laundry machine for hours on end.
“I don’t forget that,” he said while giving
Esquire more insight into his childhood. “It’s f*****g crazy to me. I’m just really, really fortunate. Luck. That’s what it is.”
He calls it luck, but we like to look at it as all of his hard work finally paying off. He now knows what it’s like to live in the lap of luxury after purchasing a $4.8 million pad in the Hollywood Hills back in 2006. He also plopped down another $1.3 million in 2013 to purchase his next door neighbor’s house. Not bad for a guy who once shared a one-bedroom apartment with his entire family, right?
An acting hiatus after a tragic death
Although each of his siblings were talented in their own right, it was his eldest brother, River, who emerged as the breakout star of the family. River was making a name for himself after appearing in the 1986 film Stand by Me and My Own Private Idaho in 1991. With a bright career ahead of him, it seemed as though River was making a seamless transition from child star into more mature roles. But before he could really take the industry by storm, he died of a drug overdose after consuming a ” speedball ” — heroin and cocaine dissolved into a drink, followed by a Valium — outside of Hollywood’s legendary Viper Room on October 31, 1993. He was just 23 years old, the Washington Post reported.
It was Phoenix who made the chilling 911 call to plead for emergency help on that fateful night, as their sister, Rain, attempted to revive River by performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
A grief-stricken Phoenix immediately retreated after the devastating event and took a two-year hiatus from acting, the
Independent reported.
Despite putting on a brave face in the press, some suspect the loss of his brother damaged him more than he would ever admit…
Rumors of an on-screen meltdown
When Phoenix was cast for the lead role of the 2005 film Walk the Line alongside Reese Witherspoon (pictured), fans anticipated it would be the most successful role of his entire career. The movie, which follows the life of country music outlaw Johnny Cash, required Phoenix to bring out his best method-acting skills to channel the troubled, legendary musician who battled drug and alcohol abuse.
While filming, many suspected the death of Phoenix’s brother, River, came back to haunt him in a scene that depicted the death of Cash’s brother, Jack. Phoenix called the reports of a meltdown “bulls**t,” and said he was tired of the media correlating his own brother’s death to his work. “You know, the press has kind of imposed upon me the title of Mourning Brother, and because I haven’t been vocal about it, the assumption is that I’m holding onto it and all this s**t that’s just not there. I don’t need to pull from my experience for a character, and I’ve never understood why actors would, except for lack of ability, imagination or research,” he told
During another scene, in which Cash is going through drug withdrawals, Phoenix reportedly banged his head against a bedpost in an attempt to really illustrate his character’s emotional state.
It was all acting — so he said — but there seemed to be a bit of truth to the rumors that Phoenix’s life was on a downward spiral, because after the movie wrapped…
He spent some time in rehab
Playing a hardcore drug and alcohol addict in
Walk the Line began to affect his life tremendously, but it wasn’t until after the film wrapped that Phoenix realized he had a problem. “It was then that I became aware of my drinking. I wasn’t an everyday drinker but didn’t have anything else to do, anything to hold me down,” he told Time Out magazine (via Irish Examiner). “I was leaning on alcohol to make me feel OK. That’s what it really was.”
He checked into a rehabilitation facility in April 2005, and his publicist released a statement (via People magazine), which read, “He was uncomfortable with the way that he was living his life and found the courage to deal with the disease.”
Following his stint in rehab, he began attending Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and later called the supportive network “the best thing I ever did,” in an interview with The New York Times.
Filming is ‘pure anxiety,’ but he loves it
With a career in the film and television industry that has spanned decades, you’d think Phoenix would be as cool as cucumber in front of cameras, but that’s not the case at all. He told Interview magazine that despite his vast experience in the movie-making industry, dating all the way back to his early childhood, he still gets “nauseous” the day before he films.
Queasiness aside, he also told the publication that he suffers from “incredible anxiety” that manifests itself in a somewhat embarrassing way. “They have to put f*****g pads in my armpits because I sweat so much that it just drips down my wardrobe. For the first three weeks of shooting, I’m just sweating,” he told the magazine with a laugh.
Although his nerves get the best of him from time to time, he ended things on a bright note. “It’s pure anxiety, and I love it,” he said.
Goodbye, Joaquin
One of the reasons he’ll forever be remembered as a legendary actor is because he takes his job very seriously. “I abandon my life when I work. I don’t wear the clothes or listen to the music that defines who I am,” he told the Guardian.
Transforming into various characters is more than just a lifestyle change for Phoenix, he actually discards everyone and everything from his normal, everyday life. “I don’t communicate with friends or family. It sounds intense, but it’s the process of getting there that is really hard,” he revealed.
We can’t imagine how difficult it must be for his loved ones, including his girlfriend, actress Mara Rooney , when he goes off the grid when his filming schedule kicks in. We can’t help but wonder if completely losing himself within his roles is such a good idea, especially since we’re aware of how his method-acting tends to take a negative toll on him.
He’s his worst critic
He’s starred in some pretty amazing films, including Gladiator , The Master , Two Lovers, and Clay Pigeons alongside Vince Vaughn (pictured). He even snagged a 2006 Golden Globes award for Walk the Line and a 2017 Cannes Film Festival best actor award for You Were Never Really Here. So his title as a critically-acclaimed actor is well-deserved. However, as much as we love seeing him flex his acting chops on the big screen, there’s one person who’s not a fan of his work, and that’s Phoenix himself.
“It’s funny,” he told The New York Times . “We rarely watched ourselves on TV when we were children. And I think that was good. Even now, I don’t watch myself on the monitor or in the dailies.”
Come to find out, he’s quite critical of himself, saying, “I can be really affected by things like, ‘Do I look good?’ ‘Do I look bad?’ I want it to be what I’m feeling as opposed to something outside the experience,” he explained.
Acting makes him feel lonely
Being a superstar who’s surrounded by fame, fans, and constant media attention sounds like a life to be envied, but looks can be deceiving. Phoenix will be the first one to talk about the dangers of being in the spotlight and just how isolating a career as an actor can truly be.
In an interview with The New York Times, after he finished filming Walk the Line , he told the publication, “It was really hard for me to leave the movie. I was angry and hurt and felt abandoned. I didn’t know what to do. To play Cash, I had learned a whole new way of functioning in the world, and suddenly, I couldn’t rely on that anymore.”
He also put an interesting twist on things by equating his movie roles to growing facial hair in an interview with the Guardian. “Suddenly your beard is whacked off and you say, F**k me! I’m naked!’ You can no longer rely on the world that you have created,” he said.
This recurring feeling of putting all of his time into his work and feeling abandoned when it’s all said and done happens so frequently, the actor described the entire process as being very “lonely.”

Rate This Content