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Expectations can hurt us what not to expect

When we give, it is but natural for us to expect something in return. This is true for any kind of human relationship whether it be friendships, romantic relationships or family ties. There is no escaping the desire to be appreciated, to be rewarded and to obtain some token in exchange for the favors we do.

     But when we constantly give, there are times when the person becomes conditioned to keep on receiving. Every so often our generosity is taken for granted. In some cases, the person even becomes dependent on us. And this is when problems arise.

     It takes maturity and reflection to realize that when people are kind to us, we should not abuse it. In fact, we should reciprocate. For is this not upon which a healthy and mature relationship is based? The principle of give and take is an essential ingredient of any lasting human relationship.

     However, there are people who may be blinded by their ego and may fail to appreciate what others do for them. A proud person finds it difficult to acknowledge the generosity of others because he sees this as an admission of his dependence.

     If we feel that our efforts are unappreciated or that we are already being used, then it is not wrong to stop giving. What is wrong is to encourage other people’s dependence on us. Because if we do so, it won’t be long before we find ourselves being manipulated and abused.

     It takes an even greater level of maturity to not expect anything at all, because the true essence of selflessness is to see that giving is its own reward. By realizing this, we can rid ourselves of any expectation. And by having no expectations, we will avoid being hurt.
The bottom life, treat others as you would like to be treated. Return kindness with kindness. Forgive others as others have forgiven you. Learn from the times you have been let down.

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    1. This is so true i agree with you. We ahould not always expect something in return whrn we give, but the unfortunate thing is that we always expect to get rewarded for something we did thats the honeat truth. For me i have been a victim of being used so many timea in my life. I have treated people and given willingly only to be taken for granted at some point. Sometimes you may ignore it when you see someone take you for granted but still help them again and again. The best thing is to just ignore and stop helping so that they realize they were being helped and that it wasen’t their right. Sometimes you may do something for someone say for example you take someone into your home and host thrm for a period of time, you would expect that person to show you some kind of respect and avoid doing certain things that would get you annoyed right? But you find them doing all the wrong things that you wouldn’t approve of, thats being disrepectful to your host. So what you expected in return is arrogance and ignorance instead of appreciation, thats very hurtful. For me i set boundaries they’re certain things i would do for a period of time and with comditions because of what i have seen and gone through.

    2. It is crazy that I was just thinking the same thing. Matter of fact I had just had a conversation with myself that I wouldn’t let what people do or don’t do effect what I do for others. At time it seems that we keep giving and giving and because we expect so much in return we get overwhelmed by not getting anything back, sometimes it can make people bitter. Especially in relationships like boyfriend and girlfriend and marriage. Yet a relationship is supposed to be an give and take right? Or is that what we are made to believe? Thank you so much for your refreshing post!


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