According to the Bible, faith is defined as,” the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. Faith makes you to believe you have the number of children you desire, though you have not seen them”. The words of the Spirit of God by Apostle Paul ,lets us know that we should not be faint or give up when we face adversities .It says” For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).
That particular experience will produce for you a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. How will these happen? .It is by you refusing to” look at things which are seen now, but at the things which are not seen now”. Do not bother that your own children have not come. Hannah had Samuel at God’s appointed time. Peninah had many children; none of her children’s names are read or heard in the pages of the Biblical scriptures. Hannah’s son, Samuel became a spiritual and social celebrity in Israel .A son to whom God spoke at a very tender age. The King of heaven recognized Samuel earlier and partnered with him.
Do you not want to have children after God’s heart? .Whatever you might be going through today, if you would maintain your confidence in the word of God, your children will surely arrive physically. Believe the word of God and you will smile. Many couples are worried over what God can do out of his magnanimity.God actually gives children.He uses children to pay one for living a holy life during the teenage and early adulthood age.That is why we and our children should flee fornication and adultery.God enshrines it in His Ten Commandments to the children of Israel.It is written,” Thou shalt not commit adultery”(Exodus 20:14) If you want to enjoy your life,obey the word of God and teach it to your children.Cheers!
I counselled my classmate,friend and ministerial collegue who had lived with his wife for 12 years without the fruit ot the womb, with these tips. Today he and his wife are happy with 4 children.They are planning to go for family planning.This couple always see to my welfare any time I visit them.Then they had no child.It was on my third visit that I was inspired to brake” the tip of the icebag” by intruding to counsel them with tips.THREE YEARS AGO,THEIR FIRST SET OF TWINS (MALE AND FEMALE) WERE SHOWN ON THE NATIONAL TELEVISION AUTHORITY,NEWSLINE PROGRAMME ON A SUNDAY EVENING.
Many marriages are on the brink of collapse because of the lack of the fruit of the womb.Some have been recovered through counseling. Trusting God and moving under His discipline makes a difference.
Hiding and keeping quiet cannot solve the problem.Accusations and developing hatred with your spouse cannot solve it.Marrying another wife or husband will increase the trouble because people will count for you how many relationships you have quitted.
Now if marriage has been contracted,and children are not coming as days,months and years roll bye, if there is no known medical issue,then counseling is good for an interested reader.Start by claiming that God can give you your own children,because he has the factory that produces children before he created this earth .This is because your own children exists spiritually before they are born physically.See what Prophet Jeremiah wrote,” Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, , (Jeremiah 1:5)
Also, see,what the writer of Deutronomy penned down,” Thou shall be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you or among your cattle”. (Deut.7:14).Here faith to believe the word of God is needed, which “is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”
It is hard to cook for the family especially when your children are so choosy of food.
One member would like chicken, the other would like pork, and another would like fish. Then the husband likes vegetables. If you were the one tasked to plan or cook a meal, what would you do?
I just plan a meal that will be acceptable to all. It should be a healthy one. Either fried fish with a vegetable side dish. It can be stewed fish with lots of vegetables.
Sometimes it is a combination of chicken and vegetables like chicken stew. It is called “tinola” in our local dialect. It has green papaya that are sliced big, ginger, garlic, onion, and pepper leaves or if none, moringa leaves. Sometimes if there is no green papaya, some people use chayote (Sechium edule).
The garlic, ginger, and onion, along with small slices of chicken were sauteed, then the sliced papaya is added. When the papaya is already soft, add water, then when it boiled, add the pepper leaves.
This recipe is healthy because of the ingredients.
We rarely cook pork. Maybe once a week only. If pork is the main dish, I see to it that there will be lots of vegetables that go with it.
Since most of the family members are out during the day, I usually cook good meals in the evening when they are all home. For breakfast, it is just simple fried or boiled eggs, rice, or fried dried fish. I add fresh tomatoes if the viand is dried fish. Sometimes I make scrambled eggs with lots of onions, garlic, tomatoes and some herbs.
For lunch, I am usually alone, or just me and my husband, so we just eat whatever is left in the refrigerator. Or just plain stewed fish with okra or lady finger, eggplant, tomatoes or spinach leaves.
Though my family is choosy with food, they always appreciate my cooking. And I always see to it that I prepare healthy meals for them.
This is one of the joys of being a mother; of taking good care of the family.
Do you also cook for your family?
Helping In The Kitchen
One of the points I use to keep my marriage secure is helping to work in the kitchen. There are many activities that go on in the kitchen. Washing the dishes, spoons and knives and the pots. I Scrub the kitchen floor. I blend tomatoes, pepper and other fruits for cooking.
Most times I cook family food if my wife is not at home or sick. It is important for a man to know how to attend to household duties. The reason why some men get entangled with other women when their wives travel or sick in hospital is because of lack of knowledge of domestic chores. It is important for young men to learn kitchen duties. This is because when they grow up, they will be useful in the family.
2. Helping to look after the babies especially at nights
I secure my marriage by helping my wife to look after our baby at night. It is quite interesting to carry a baby at night while my wife is preparing baby food. I help her carry the crying child at night. Most times, children like their fathers to carry them, but when they want food, they look for their mothers. Babies are God’s gift not only to the woman but also the wife.
Other issue is looking after the baby when he or she is sick. I assist my wife to handle the treatment of our children. I participate in purchasing baby wears, washing baby cups, spoons and clothes. The reason is because they are my children who bear my name. It is my responsibility to see to their wellbeing.
Security of a family is mostly the duty of the man. Why I help my wife is because I want her to know that she is not alone in the business of the family. Children also reciprocate by learning very fast.
We Go to Farm Together
There is no discrimination on the activities of my family. One of the points I use to keep my marriage secure is to go to farm with my wife. In the farm a lot of activities take place. We jointly clear the farm. I arrange for tilling the farm. We jointly plant our crops, remove weeds and apply fertilizer.
The next is staking of crops of which yam and pumpkin are examples. Then comes harvesting of maize, pepper, tomatoes, and sweet potatoes. We joyfully go to the farm to carry out farm activities.
2. Being To Social Invitations With My Wife
To keep my marriage secure, I travel with her most times. I also attend to invitations with her .This is why our companionship is not severed. It is quite unfortunate that some couples do not go out together. When they are asked why they do not go out together, they give a million excuses. Our going out together makes intruders into our unique marriage to stay away from me and my wife. It is sweet to attend social invitations together.
3. Allowing my wife to barb me
Sometime in early 20I0,I bought an electric clipper. I used it for some time and we dropped it in a bag. One day in 2013, I learnt that my neighbour’s wife has tasted positive to HIV /AIDS. During the discussions, we noted that barbing in a general barber can transmit the disease from one person to the other. I quickly asked my wife to start practicing with our clipper, using it to barb our children.
She barbed my children and I allowed her to barb me also. From then till date, She uses our clipper to barbs me and my children. The cost of barbing in the public barber and the risk of contacting disease are no more there.
4. Eating Together With My Wife
Another wand I use to keep my marriage secure is eating together with my wife. It is so sweet to eat together. With this practice my wife urges me to eat well. Even when I lose appetite, she encourages me to eat more.
This measure makes me not to eat with another woman elsewhere. I am very happy to be in relationship with my wife because God really selected her for me.
1. Greeting My Wife Every Morning With A Kiss
To keep my marriage under proper security, I greet my wife every morning with a kiss. That is after prayers. I do this to reassure her that my love for her has not reduced. I also use greeting and kissing her to wish her good luck for that day.
She returns the greeting and the kissing. My wife being the life wire of chores in the family, example taking care of the kids, washing our clothes, cooking for us, she needs an encouragement from me. At least greeting and kissing is not bought in a supermarket, I freely offer it to make her happy for the day.
2. Bathing With My Wife Daily
I bathe with my wife to show that we are inseperable.There is nothing evil in having our bathe together. This activity makes me to help wash her back and she washes my back also. With bathing together, I will not look at another woman for the day. This is because my wife is the most beautiful woman on earth. That is why she is “the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh”
3. Sleeping with her on the same bed
One of the measures I use to keep my marriage secure is to sleep with my wife on the same bed. Sleeping together with makes me feel her. This makes it impossible for me to start wondering how I will be in another woman’s bosom.
Sleeping together with my wife on the same bed enables me to discuss pressing issues when I remember them at night. I may forget discussing issues if I sleep elsewhere. It is important to be close to your wife to monitor her health condition as she will also monitor mine own health condition.
4. Going to shopping with my wife
Another aspect of keeping my marriage secure is to go to shopping with my wife. For the past twelve years, we make a list of items before going for purchases. Once we are satisfied with our list, we go to the market.
After purchases, we share the items into two bags if the items bought are enormous. We carry the bags home together. If the bag is only one with items, we keep on exchanging the bag carrying it between ourselves until we get home. It is quite a happy exercise. The reason is because a woman is a helper to the man, while a man is the manager of the family.
A Woman’s Dressing Attracts a Man
A man can be attracted to a woman through her dressing. Most men prefer women who dress decently while some get attracted to women who dress indecently. Most times men rather go for friendship to women who dress indecently but marry those who are well dressed as wives.
The praises men give to a well dressed woman cannot be over emphasized. Women need to define why they are putting dresses and for what reason. It is the dressing of a woman that tells her character and moral value.
2. The man’s compliments to her make ups
Another aspect of attraction is the make ups of a woman. Most women take cognizance of their dresses before making up. Some really make up according to the colour of their dresses.Most women do not think of how they look after making up. Some who are careful to do their make ups attract men who have the eyes of beauty. It is really an eye-sour if a woman dresses in colour riots. This means that from her face to her toes bears different colours.This does not attract the eyes that love beauty.
3. Men Cherish The Time They Stay Together With Their Girlfriends
Men cherish being together with their girl friends. Staying together means planning together. The time men spend with their girl friends are valued more than business time. There are days when a man in love will like to stay with his girl friend from 6am to 6pm playing, discussing eating and drinking together.
Through staying together during courtship the men get familiar with the women they want to marry. It is better to be familiar with a spouse than the hypocritical deception of “not knowing him or her until marriage proper”. Most times the marriages of couples who did not stay together during courtship” hit the rocks” with time. It is ideal for couples to know themselves properly before agreeing to live together as husband and wife. Marriage is a long term project which needs careful study before engaging in it.
“Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men”.
Immediately after the discuss called the “Beatitudes”,Our Lord Jesus Christ in the 13th Verse of the 5th Chapter of the Gospel written by St Matthew in the Christian Bible gave all people created by God a name. He said, “You are the salt of the earth”.
Salt as mentioned by Jesus Christ here is the edible salt comprising of sodium and chlorine. In science the complete balance is called sodium chloride. This full chemical balance called the common salt is used to sweeten food during cooking, preservation of raw meat to avoid decay, purification of fruits and vegetables. The image of this post shows that salt is one of the condiments that should be on the dinning table.The common salt is used with sugar in medical preparation of oral solution. The oral solution is a temporary food for the sick ones. Patients are advised to use Oral Rehydration Therapy (ORT)to help themselves build up energy fast.
So Jesus called us “the salt of the earth” because he believes that his hearers and followers then and in all generations shall exhibit sweetness of character, preservation of life, and purity of life. He expects us to comfort and sweeten the lives of the people in this dying world. Ours is to raise hope for all who come close to us or those who are far from us. We are to preserve all issues that elongate the world’s life’s span. As Christians and lovers of God, our lives and conducts should be role models for the world to see.
Did not the Saviour of the world rate us with high demand of responsibility? Yes,He says, “Ye are the salt of the earth “.Are we in this generation living up to the “big name “given to us? The answer can be personally answered. Continuing Jesus Christ the saviour said,” but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men”.It is noteworthy that the saviour balanced his words by reminding us that though men are regarded as salt by the heavenly authority, they can decide to lose their “savour”, that is become ineffective. Imagine food in which salt was put tasting as if no salt was put in it. The eaters of the cooked food must request for salt to sweeten the food. That means a life without sweetness creates hopelessness .The salt that loses its savour is only good to be thrown out of the house and men will walk upon it.
Examine your life! How do you rate your life and its impact in our world?.Do you give sweetness to this generation?.What of the violence to humanity, immoral videos, indecent dressings, promiscuity, bestiality, homosexual practices,embezzlements,official curruptions,kidnappings,frauds,armed robberies, pen robberies, internet scams, marital infidelities and encouragement of those who promote these evils. The biblical scripture reminds us that it is only “The fool (that)hath said in his heart, There is no God. The are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good”. So many people are pulling out of the present wickedness of this generation.
The statement,” but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men” is a judgement directly pronounced on those who refused to act according to the word of our saviour. You are the salt of the earth.
I was reading the March muse letter from Mothering Arts, and found this: Let’s shift the word “chores” or “housework” to “home care”. How positive and sweet it is! Isn’t the words “home care” sound much better?
I always like to refer the house we are staying as “our home“, as I strongly believe there is huge difference between a house and a home. A home does not necessarily consist a family, as I always treat wherever I stay as my home, at least my second home away from my family. Once we treat it as a home, we care about it, and we gather together and share with each other under the roof.
According to Cambridge Dictionary online, chore means a job or piece of work that is often boring or unpleasant but needs to be done regularly. How boring and dull the chore is! No wonder whenever we think of doing the house chores, it is like our energy has been drained. Perhaps this is also why whenever we ask our children to do the chores, they just do not listen or do not do them willingly, as those are unpleasant jobs.
I usually do not like to use the word “chore“, but I use “housework” instead. What I found out from Cambridge Dictionary online is housework is the work of keeping a house clean and tidy. This sounds more relevant, as what we do is really to keep the house clean and tidy. I always told my children we have to do so, because it’s our home. In order for us to stay here comfortably, it is good to keep our home clean and tidy, but “work” still sounds a bit taxing.
After reading what Kerry Ingram (the founder of Mothering Arts) wrote, I agree that the words “home care” is a much more appropriate term. We are actually caring for our home. It is like how we care for our children, our favorite toys, our mind, our health, we also care for our home. We make sure our children eat well, play well, sleep well and clean as well. So, we should do the same to our home. We should make our home happy as well. Moreover, it is joyful to take care of our home together, as a family. Hence, it is important to do the home care together with our children.
Once we have changed the word we are using with a more negative energy to a more positive one, I believe how we view at it will also be different. We will treat our home as something we care and love, hence those tasks are no longer boring or energy drained. It will be easier for us to invite our children to perform the important and loving tasks together with us too, as we are not spreading the negative energies around.
So, in order to do our daily house chores or housework, let’s start taking care our home instead. I believe our home will be happier and healthier with this little change.
Image credit: Pixabay
Always for me happen all sorts of interesting things, although I’m not lover to chat with the drivers. Today, just sat down, the driver’s phone rang. From his first short answers and unsuccessful attempts to end the call, I realized that the guy has unpleasant conversation with his girl. He is angry, and the girl begins her hysteria, hurls accusations.
The guy bursts. He says he does not understand how she can be so inadequate and sitting at home in front of TV, she needs to clarify the relationship right now, when he is behind the wheel and has a client.
There is nothing to understand. She got the idea, developed it and now she is just carried by a whirlwind of emotions and the mind is no longer active. And she is urgent to talk because at this particular moment is the most important matter of the world.
But what is the deal? Why she so urgently needs to understand something? The mind in this case, apparently went on vacation. It remains only emotions. The question is – where is logic. Why she needs to accuse him and clarify the relationship, when in fact she want to get reassurance that she is still loved.
Everything is very simple – for to finally feel and understand that you are still loved, that he did not want to hurt you, that he realized being wrong and now repent. The less girl believes that is loved, the less feel necessary and safe, the greater the desire to “grate his brain”. If the girl’s self-esteem is poor, then she requires more and more evidence of love. Consequently, the more often will emerge such quarrels.
If a woman is obstinate and requires the “truth” – then this true is needed either for masochists with morbid self-esteem, or to a woman who does not believe and do not trust her man.
If a man has maintained a sober mind and did not give in to provocations, he will be able to perform this almost insurmountable task and listen out her. Woman, if she is not a clinical hysteria, sooner or later will apologize for her inadequate behavior. I met very few men who are capable of it. Women still better learn not to make hysteria, and wait until the beloved returns home from work and rest. Honor your loved ones. I wish the love and happiness for all you.
Picture by Pixabay.com