Available Balance
Family Beach Vacation At Atlantis
atlantis1

Located on Paradise Island in the Bahamas, the
Atlantis Paradise Island offers so many activities
that it’s probably one of the only resorts in the
world where you’ll need a map to even get around!

The accommodations here range from moderately
priced to very expensive. Families on vacation
here should consider staying in the Coral Towers,
which is the most centrally located tower at
Atlantis. The Coral Towers is also closest to the
Predator Lagoon and the Lagoon Pool as well.

Atlantis Paradise Island Resort is also packed with
activities for guests of all ages. The eleven
pool areas, miles of sandy beach, and Neptune’s
Water Toys Hut give guests access to many water
based activities. Neptune’s provides non motorized
water sports which include water bikes, pedal
boats, kayaks, and even snorkeling equipment rentals.

Parents will adore
Atlantis has two different programs for children,
the Aqua Tots program and the Discovery Channel Camp.
The Aqua Tots program was designed for children 3
years old and up, while the discovery camp is for
kids 4 – 12 years old and ranges from a 1 hour
program to one that includes lunch and even dinner.

Kids love
All kids love the six different water slides and
the marine exhibits. This can keep kids busy for
hours and hours, and are pretty fun for the parents
as well. In order to enjoy the slides, kids must be
at least 48 inches tall.

A beach vacation at Atlantis is something your
entire family will love. There is something here
to keep everyone occupied, from the beaches to fun
on the slides. If your family enjoys the best of fun
and the beach, Atlantis is something your whole
family will enjoy – and love coming back to.

The only hotel on the exotic island of Mustique, the
cotton house offers luxurious service, privacy, and
plenty of secluded beaches. You can spend your
days exploring the marine life, relaxing by the
pool, or getting pampered by the enticing spa.

The spa at the Cotton House offers an amazing array
of services, such as massages, facials, reflexology,
wraps, and fully body treatments. You can catch a
spa in one of the four treatment rooms, just steps
from the beach, or even in the privacy of your
own room.

Situated between the Caribbean Sea and the Atlantic
Ocean, the 1,400 acre Mustique Island offers a
tennis club, nine secluded and beautiful beaches,
which are perfect for scuba diving, windsurfing,
and even snorkeling.

Rooms and suites
The Cotton House offers just 19 luxurious guest
rooms, cottages, and suites, most offering private
patios and panoramic views of the ocean. The
amentities offered by the Cotton House include soft
French cotton linens, a pillow menu, air, flat
screen televisions, and maid service twice a day.

If you are planning a honeymoon twist to your beach
vacation, you can splurge on one of the cottages
with a private plunge pool, or even book the two
bedroom Cotton Hill Residence which offers a
private swimming pool and its own staff that are
dedicated to you.

Eating
From dining in your cottage, ordering a picnic
basket and going to an empty beach, or just having
a romantic candlelit dinner, Mustique leaves the
choices up to you. A traditional afternoon tea
is served each day in the Great Room, while there
are weekly cocktail parties held by the Cotton
House as well.

Getting there
There are three ways that you can fly to Mustique.
You can go via Barbados, via Martinique, or via
Saint Vincent. From Barbados, you can take a
Grenadines Airways flight to Mustique for around
$400 per person – round trip flight.

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Is Your Family Really Benefiting When You Work at Home?

You’ve beaten the obstacles and found a way to work at home, whether by finding a job or starting a home business. But is your work getting in the way of time with your family? It may be time to make sure you are finding balance between working at home and your family.

Let’s take a look at some easy things you can do to ensure that you are spending time with your family.

1. Make time for play. Family activities are a great way to relax away from work. It can be as simple as taking a walk or going to the park, or it could be a full day excursion to a museum, amusement part or beach. You don’t have to leave the house, of course. You could play games, make cookies or do other fun activities around the house. The point is to simply have fun as a family and have time to talk to each other.

One way to start is to plan a family night. Tell everyone they have to be home on a particular evening each week and do things as a family. Even if you just rent a movie to watch together, it’s something you’re doing together.

If you’re married, make sure you plan a regular date night with your spouse. Frequency may depend on how old your children are and how often you can get babysitting, but it is important for your marriage to have time as a couple.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun with your family. Just make time for fun.

2. Be there for your children’s activities. If your children are involved in sports, acting, singing or other activities, make sure you are there for all the games, performances or other important events. It will help your children to know that they are very important to you.

3. Set rules and enforce them. If your children understand when they can interrupt your work you will be able to get more done in less time, giving you more time for your family.

Of course, you need to be consistent. If kids get away with breaking the rules some of the time, they will test the rules often. Consistency will save you time in the long run, even if you aren’t sure you want to spare the time at a particular moment.

4. Pay attention to what kind of attention each child needs. Every child is different. Some demand attention while others are so quiet it’s easy to forget that they need you too. Make sure you spend time with each child as an individual.

5. When the kids come home from school, take some time to talk about their day. They will appreciate your interest. You should also make sure they understand their homework and start it at whatever time they do best at finishing it. Some do best starting homework immediately on getting home, while others do better if they can play for a while first. Be aware of your child’s needs.

6. If your work is something the children can help with, let them be involved. If not, you can still at least talk to them about what you do. This sets a good example for your children by helping them to know what working is really about.

It’s easy to get buried in the needs of your work when you work at home. A little bit of planning can go a long way toward making working at home a wonderful experience for all. Your family is why you decided to work at home, so don’t let your time with them get put aside.

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Expectations can hurt us what not to expect

When we give, it is but natural for us to expect something in return. This is true for any kind of human relationship whether it be friendships, romantic relationships or family ties. There is no escaping the desire to be appreciated, to be rewarded and to obtain some token in exchange for the favors we do.

     But when we constantly give, there are times when the person becomes conditioned to keep on receiving. Every so often our generosity is taken for granted. In some cases, the person even becomes dependent on us. And this is when problems arise.

     It takes maturity and reflection to realize that when people are kind to us, we should not abuse it. In fact, we should reciprocate. For is this not upon which a healthy and mature relationship is based? The principle of give and take is an essential ingredient of any lasting human relationship.

     However, there are people who may be blinded by their ego and may fail to appreciate what others do for them. A proud person finds it difficult to acknowledge the generosity of others because he sees this as an admission of his dependence.

     If we feel that our efforts are unappreciated or that we are already being used, then it is not wrong to stop giving. What is wrong is to encourage other people’s dependence on us. Because if we do so, it won’t be long before we find ourselves being manipulated and abused.

     It takes an even greater level of maturity to not expect anything at all, because the true essence of selflessness is to see that giving is its own reward. By realizing this, we can rid ourselves of any expectation. And by having no expectations, we will avoid being hurt.
The bottom life, treat others as you would like to be treated. Return kindness with kindness. Forgive others as others have forgiven you. Learn from the times you have been let down.

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Don’t be a doormat or let people use you.
legs-If you want to relax, watch the clouds pass by if you're laying on the grass, or sit in front of the creek; just doing nothing and having those still moments is what really rejuvenates the body. - by Miranda Kerr Everyone is busy with his own daily schedule, working for a job to survive, study in order to achieve good academic result and homemakers busy with household chores, baby sitting. You have a lengthy to do list that you could hardly accomplish half of them throughout the day. You feel frustrated, disappointed and stress out because things are always going the wrong way. Your daily tasks and responsibilities are never ending, it never will either ! You are not alone... No matter how busy you are, it is crucial that you need to take some time out to : recharge your energy rejuvenate your body relax your mind and soul From home to office, from home to school, work is never done because your boss / teacher only demand for more sales/academic results and obligation to accomplish every tasks given. You barely had any room to breathe for a second. You are too busy with your personal schedule that you don't have any spare time for your family or even yourself. Now, it is time to replenish your needs before you burnt out your brain. Here are some useful tips how to take some time out to relax # 1 - Enjoy a Drink Order a soothing, cool drink or a cup of warm tea/coffee/cocoa . Better still, make your own drink at home. Sit down on a sofa, try to relax yourself, read your favorite book, magazine but not the newspaper. Don't fret yourself over the daily news because you had enough plate of it at work. #2- Mini vacation Plan for a mini vacation trip to nearby places or out-station. You don't have to go oversea vacation which is expensive and tiring after a long trip. You can save money on short distance trip and enjoy the relaxation of the facilities provided. Look up at budget vacation websites, book the vacation package online to save the hassle of driving and getting stuck in the traffic jam. Always compare the prices and facilities before deciding where to go for your vacation. Make sure that transportation is provided ( tour bus- so that you don't have to drive, time to sleep during the journey) #3- Listen to Music If you can't apply for a leave from your job, why not enjoy a good dance at the disco, aerobic exercise, enroll yourself for a dance lesson or simply on the Home theatre system / radio and dance to your favorite music! This is the best way to release your stress which will help you to enlighten your mood. Music in your ears is better than your boss lectures. #4- Brisk walk A morning or evening brisk walk is essential. A daily walk of 20 minutes will help you to relax your mind and body. Breathe in the fresh air. Enjoy outdoor activities such as bird watching, the view of flower beds, kids playing, people cycling, sunrise, sunset. Give your tired eyes a break from electronic gadgets. #5- Watch a short video If your internet speed is fast, no disconnection, you might as well watch a short film, movie or variety show to entertain yourself. Sit down on the couch, get some healthy snacks and drinks. Do enjoy a good show to relax yourself. A comedy video would be better to keep yourself happy. More tips: call a friend hit the gym sleep soak yourself in a bathtub go for a spa pamper yourself with a massage Any other relaxing tips to share with me? Copyright allrights reserved by peachpurple Photo belonged to peachpurple Read more articles written by peachpurple HERE Join LiteracyBase NOW and start sharing your experience with us while earning moneyput out your legs and relax-pixabay.com

You consider yourself a trustworthy friend, loyal and dependable. You try your best to be helpful and generous to the friends you make. You invest much time and effort in a friendship. You’re always around to listen. Because of this, you’re the person your friends run to during times of crisis. You eventually become the one individual who is always there to help.

But occasionally, you meet a friend who is incapable of reciprocating.

You may encounter someone who will only look for you when you’re needed. But when you’re the one in need, this friend will offer some convenient excuse not to be there. There is always something more important than you. You are never a priority. And even when you’re together, your friend constantly insists on getting his way. You’re forced to follow whatever your friend wants and you give whatever he needs. Your wishes remain secondary.

Despite this, you continue to hope that this friend will realize how well you treat him and that he should give some time and effort back. But this friend never does. In the end, you eventually feel drained. And when your usefulness to this friend has run out, you may find yourself discarded and forgotten.

Sometimes the desire to feel accepted makes a person vulnerable to abuse. This is especially the case with lonely individuals. Opportunistic people will see this weakness and may come to exploit it. If you feel you have friends who only seek you out when they need you, maybe it is time to rethink these so-called friendships. Otherwise, you may eventually end up a discarded doormat.

Ive been there before with a friend who becane my room mate only to not pay rent and wind up stealing from me.

I moved in with my sister but she charged me an absurd amount of rent.

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Beyond The External Feeling of a Child 2
November 28, 2017
0

As an important addendum to what has already been said in this book, I believe that it is

important to state how important the spiritual dimension is to the ultimate application of

the principles stated in this book.

I have found that each of us tends to treat ourselves like we feelGod treats us. The

word feel in the previous sentence is important. I believe that we can know God treats

us one way and yet feel like He treats us another. It’s the difference between the head

and the heart.

I encourage you to go to http://www.askapastor.org/ebooksand download the ebook

entitled “Painting Your Picture Of God.” Beginning with a self profile, it will take you

through a series of studies designed to show you where your view of God might be

hindering your forward progress in applying the principles in this book.

I wish to close this book with the one question I heard myself using in counselling more

than any other. Even after spending hours hearing about the intense pain in an

individual’s life through stories that oftentimes brought tears to my eyes, I knew that this

singular question had to be asked. So I learned to sit back in my chair, look the person

in the eye, and dare to ask the question “What are you going to do about it?”

More than that, I learned to wait for an answer.

Most of the time the question would sound so cruel that the person to whom it was

addressed would physically react as though I had punched or slapped them. The room

would fill with an awkward silence. However, what at first seemed a cruel question

became an empowering question. As the person was able to form their answer

sometimes over minutes, sometimes days, months or even years, they would find

themselves extricating themselves from the bindings that had shackled both them and

their dreams.

So I end this book by asking you the same question. Now after reading this book, what

are you going to do about it? Please take your time. But please do answer that

question.

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Beyond The External Feeling of a Child
November 28, 2017
1

Sitting as a counselor for twelve years and having people give you permission to literally

look into the recesses of their souls built within me a set of convictions about the human

race that could not have been gained in any other manner.

One of those convictions concerns how the dynamics of internal motivation intertwines

almost imperceptibly with that individual’s capacity to motivate others. I have come to

call my conviction Fill And Spill (for lack of a catchier title). In these final pages, I’d like

to try and help you see what I see.

“We treat others like we treat ourselves” is an understanding that forms the basis of my

understanding. In other words, how our internal parent treats our internal child spills

over into our daily dealings. Soon our external treatment of others mirrors those more

internal and personal dealings.

Do you know someone who cuts others no slack? S/he constantly criticizes and is

never happy with anyone’s performance. With your new understanding, you have been

given a window into their soul. When they are along with themselves in those most

personal of moments, you now know how their internal parent speaks to their internal

child. Never satisfied the internal parent gives the internal child no rest from incessant

naggings to do better. There is no rest for that child, because nothing is or

will be good enough.

Do you know someone whose life seems totally out of control? Their weight is out of

control, their time management is out of control, their finances are out of control, and

their relationships are out of control. You are watching the effects of an internal parent

unable to control an internal child. Possibly the internal parent sets no limits or possibly

the internal parent sets unrealistic limits. The results of both behaviors on the child’s

behavior are oftentimes exactly the same.

However, for the sake of our discussion the above understanding brings to light the truth

that we will be no more successful in motivating others than we are in motivating

ourselves. The people who most consistently motivate others have first used the

techniques in this book on themselves and then began treating others just like they

treated themselves. They filled themselves through a healthy relationship of the internal

parent to the child and it spilled over and got on those with whom they associated. It

has never worked any other way.

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Hearing A Child Is Good – Round Up
November 28, 2017
1

REINFORCEMENT compels us to ask the question “when was the last time you

rewarded the internal child for something the child did that pleased the parent?” Too

many times the only instances in which the internal parent talks to the child is when the

child has displeased the parent. Still in other instances the child is never able to

completely please the parent. The parent responds to the child’s performances with a

“not bad, but it could have been better” attitude. Such an attitude usually leads to the

child either dropping out or over achieve in an attempt to please the parent. Take a

moment to consider how you could more consistently build in rewards for the child.

You’ll find that it goes along ways to producing that desired motivation.

EXTINCTION asks that important question “Do I ever reward my inner child for doing

something I want him/her to quit doing?” In other words “Am I too permissive with my

inner child?” When the child does something I’m wanting to quit, do I reward the child

by continuing to do whatever we would have done if he/she hadn’t done it?” If you were

sitting in my counseling office, we would explore this question. However, without that

opportunity, you must explore this area for yourself. However, some of my clients have

told me that they have discovered that when the internal child “disobeyed,” the internal

parent felt so badly that they would go to a party just to feel better thus actually

rewarding the child for inappropriate behavior. In other words, no matter how the child

behaved nothing changed. This only reinforces undesirable behavior.

NATURAL CONSEQUENCES are usually a part of everything we do. However,

sometimes as a parent we don’t allow our child to experience the natural consequences

of that behavior. The most common method of doing that with the internal child is to

use alcohol, some other drug, sex, or even work to deaden the feelings of the pain that

could change the behavior of the internal child. By anesthetizing the pain, we dilute its

power to change the child’s undesirable behavior.

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES can be imposed by the internal parent when the natural

consequences might completely destroy the internal child. The question to ask is

“When the internal child disobeys, are there any consequences to his/her behavior?”

Sometimes this is the removal of something that the child really wants to do. Have you

ever used this method of disciplining yourself?

PHYSICAL SPANKING is difficult to translate into the internal realm of the internal

parent/child relationship. However, at times I have verbally spanked my internal child.

As in physically spanking my child, I must be careful not to cross that line into child

abuse so to must I also be careful that in verbally spanking my child I don’t verbally

abuse my child. Belittling, name calling, and making the internal child feel worthless will

only demotivate and prove to be counterproductive to inner drive.IMITATION causes me

to ask if I am spending time with people who are also filled with inner drive. Time and

time again I find myself learning that I tend to become like those with whom I associate.

If I allow my internal child to be with other demotivated internal children, the process of

becoming internally motivated will be made difficult.

Do you remember the question about childhood discipline that you answered earlier in

the chapter on Secret Two? We will continue to discipline ourselves in the same

manner in which our parents disciplined us unless we stop to evaluate the effectiveness

of the methods they used.

What have you learned about yourself in relation to your own self discipline from

reading this chapter?

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Hearing A Child Is Good 3
November 28, 2017
0

Right at the beginning of this chapter I wish to make a statement that at first glance

might sound heretical. However, I believe that EVERYONE EXERCISES SELF

DISCIPLINE. Even that person you know who’s never on time and always

procrastinates on even the smallest of decisions exercises self discipline. To say it still

another way, I believe that everyone disciplines them self.

As alluded to earlier, when our parents cease parenting us, we continue to parent

ourselves. That internal parent disciplines the child. However, some people just use

better discipline methods and consequently achieve better results.

The chart below shows several approaches to discipline that every parent has at their

disposal when seeking to discipline their children.

METHODS OF DISCIPLINE

  1. Communication
  2. When To Use
  3. In all cases
  4. Before any other methods are tried.
  5. Lesson The Child Learns

“By talking, I see the advantages and disadvantages of my planned action.

Therefore, I will willingly do the proper thing. My parents respect me and I think

they have good ideas.”

  1. Reinforcement
  2. When To Use — Anytime you want to strengthen a desirable behavior.
  3. Lesson The Child Learns

“When I do the desirable thing, I get rewarded for it. Therefore, I will do it again.”

III. Extinction

  1. When To Use — Anytime you want to weaken undesirable behaviour
  2. Lesson The Child Learns
  3. “When I behave undesirably, I do not get any reward. Therefore, there is no
  4. sense in doing that again.”
  5. Natural Consequences
  6. When To Use
  7. When you want to weaken undesirable behavior.
  8. When communication and extinction have not worked.
  9. Lesson The Child Learns
  10. “When I do some things, I get hurt. Nobody else has anything to do with it. I just
  11. bring on a bad experience. Therefore, I will not do that again.”
  12. Logical Consequences
  13. When To Use
  14. When you want to weaken undesirable behavior.
  15. When communication and extinction have not worked.
  16. When no natural consequences exists.
  17. When natural consequences would cause severe or lasting hurt to the
  18. Lesson The Child Learns
  19. “The world has many people. When I do something that is wrong, they may
  20. impose some undesirable consequences. Therefore, I will do my part in order
  21. to avoid the negative consequences.”
  22. Physical Spanking
  23. When To Use — When all other methods have failed.
  24. Lesson The Child Learns

“My parents are my authority. They have the experience to know what is right

and to enforce their guidelines by inflicting physical pain. Though I do not like it

at the time, I am learning it is for my good and they do it because they love me.”

VIII. Imitation

  1. When To Use — This method is in continuous operation.
  2. Lesson The Child Learns — “My parents are strong and grown-up. Since

they act that way, so do I.”

There is no question that all of the above techniques are not equally effective in

achieving the desired results. Our question is which ones work the best and how can

we then incorporate them into our internal motivations. Let’s look at them one at a time.

Within each of the next few paragraphs, I give you some questions about each

discipline technique that will help make that transition to your inner child.

COMMUNICATION reminds us about the power of communication. Just as the

ineffective parent always responds to an older child’s question of “Why?” with “Because

I said so!” the internal parent can carry that same ineffective communication into the

internal relationship. If you want the inner child to begin doing something, be sure to

communicate the “why” behind your desire. Some reasons are better than others, so

don’t be afraid to let the child respond with his or her questions. Positive

communication from the internal parent always shows respect for the child and helps to

alleviate the rebellion of the inner child.

The inner child can easily rebel when treated with disrespect by the internal parent.

When the internal parent merely draws a line on the ground and commands that the

child not cross it, the first thing the inner child will want to do is to cross the line.

Communicating good reasons along with the parent’s desire will help prevent that

internal rebellion from sabotaging self discipline.

As part of the bigger picture, the following diagram explains alot! When a child is first

born, the emotions are high and the logic is low. A baby cries and cries but reasons

very little. The goal of the parent is to bring the emotion down so that the logic can

come up.

A parent’s attempts at unconditional love, acceptance and commitment brings that

security. However, in the early years of a child’s life, touch is the only way to

communicate that positive energy. Merely talking to the child in those early years just

won’t do it. When a child is raised in a touch deprived environment, an internal anxiety

develops.

In a healthy parent-child relationship, while love is bringing the emotions down,

discipline is bringing the logic up. Reasonable and consistent discipline literally teaches

a child how to make decisions.

When love and acceptance is missing from the mix, the emotions aren’t brought down

but rather carry the child out into adulthood with an almost undefinable sense of

insecurity. As long as that condition exists, the ability to logically deal with the internal

child in a reasonable and consistent manner is very difficult. That’s why understanding

the inner child and adjusting parental expectations to fit that child is foundational to

coming to building towards this stage in the book.

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Hearing A Child Is Good 3
November 28, 2017
0

Right at the beginning of this chapter I wish to make a statement that at first glance

might sound heretical. However, I believe that EVERYONE EXERCISES SELF

DISCIPLINE. Even that person you know who’s never on time and always

procrastinates on even the smallest of decisions exercises self discipline. To say it still

another way, I believe that everyone disciplines them self.

As alluded to earlier, when our parents cease parenting us, we continue to parent

ourselves. That internal parent disciplines the child. However, some people just use

better discipline methods and consequently achieve better results.

The chart below shows several approaches to discipline that every parent has at their

disposal when seeking to discipline their children.

METHODS OF DISCIPLINE

  1. Communication
  2. When To Use
  3. In all cases
  4. Before any other methods are tried.
  5. Lesson The Child Learns

“By talking, I see the advantages and disadvantages of my planned action.

Therefore, I will willingly do the proper thing. My parents respect me and I think

they have good ideas.”

  1. Reinforcement
  2. When To Use — Anytime you want to strengthen a desirable behavior.
  3. Lesson The Child Learns

“When I do the desirable thing, I get rewarded for it. Therefore, I will do it again.”

III. Extinction

  1. When To Use — Anytime you want to weaken undesirable behaviour
  2. Lesson The Child Learns
  3. “When I behave undesirably, I do not get any reward. Therefore, there is no
  4. sense in doing that again.”
  5. Natural Consequences
  6. When To Use
  7. When you want to weaken undesirable behavior.
  8. When communication and extinction have not worked.
  9. Lesson The Child Learns
  10. “When I do some things, I get hurt. Nobody else has anything to do with it. I just
  11. bring on a bad experience. Therefore, I will not do that again.”
  12. Logical Consequences
  13. When To Use
  14. When you want to weaken undesirable behavior.
  15. When communication and extinction have not worked.
  16. When no natural consequences exists.
  17. When natural consequences would cause severe or lasting hurt to the
  18. Lesson The Child Learns
  19. “The world has many people. When I do something that is wrong, they may
  20. impose some undesirable consequences. Therefore, I will do my part in order
  21. to avoid the negative consequences.”
  22. Physical Spanking
  23. When To Use — When all other methods have failed.
  24. Lesson The Child Learns

“My parents are my authority. They have the experience to know what is right

and to enforce their guidelines by inflicting physical pain. Though I do not like it

at the time, I am learning it is for my good and they do it because they love me.”

VIII. Imitation

  1. When To Use — This method is in continuous operation.
  2. Lesson The Child Learns — “My parents are strong and grown-up. Since

they act that way, so do I.”

There is no question that all of the above techniques are not equally effective in

achieving the desired results. Our question is which ones work the best and how can

we then incorporate them into our internal motivations. Let’s look at them one at a time.

Within each of the next few paragraphs, I give you some questions about each

discipline technique that will help make that transition to your inner child.

COMMUNICATION reminds us about the power of communication. Just as the

ineffective parent always responds to an older child’s question of “Why?” with “Because

I said so!” the internal parent can carry that same ineffective communication into the

internal relationship. If you want the inner child to begin doing something, be sure to

communicate the “why” behind your desire. Some reasons are better than others, so

don’t be afraid to let the child respond with his or her questions. Positive

communication from the internal parent always shows respect for the child and helps to

alleviate the rebellion of the inner child.

The inner child can easily rebel when treated with disrespect by the internal parent.

When the internal parent merely draws a line on the ground and commands that the

child not cross it, the first thing the inner child will want to do is to cross the line.

Communicating good reasons along with the parent’s desire will help prevent that

internal rebellion from sabotaging self discipline.

As part of the bigger picture, the following diagram explains alot! When a child is first

born, the emotions are high and the logic is low. A baby cries and cries but reasons

very little. The goal of the parent is to bring the emotion down so that the logic can

come up.

A parent’s attempts at unconditional love, acceptance and commitment brings that

security. However, in the early years of a child’s life, touch is the only way to

communicate that positive energy. Merely talking to the child in those early years just

won’t do it. When a child is raised in a touch deprived environment, an internal anxiety

develops.

In a healthy parent-child relationship, while love is bringing the emotions down,

discipline is bringing the logic up. Reasonable and consistent discipline literally teaches

a child how to make decisions.

When love and acceptance is missing from the mix, the emotions aren’t brought down

but rather carry the child out into adulthood with an almost undefinable sense of

insecurity. As long as that condition exists, the ability to logically deal with the internal

child in a reasonable and consistent manner is very difficult. That’s why understanding

the inner child and adjusting parental expectations to fit that child is foundational to

coming to building towards this stage in the book.

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Hearing A Child Is Good 2
November 28, 2017
0

The lower lefthand quadrant of the chart has to do with your Values. Now at first we

think of moral values, and certainly that’s a component addressed by the questions in

that quadrant. However, there are also work values that play a key role.

Here is a list of some key work values. Again you may find it helpful to circle the ones

that you value most in the workplace:

sense of achievement advancement adventure aesthetics

position of authority autonomy balance compensation

competition creativity detail work efficiency

fast pace flexibility helping others integrity

intellectual stimulation leadership leisure time location

management moral fulfilment personal growth prestige

public attention recognition research responsibility

routine security social contacts team

After circling some of the above words, you might even have more to add to the lower

lefthand quadrant on the chart.

Finally, the lower right hand quadrant has to do with Destiny. Certainly the most

nebulous of them all, this quadrant addresses the fact that truly successful people have

a sense that they are “doing what they were made to do.” The questions in the chart

will guide you to some words you can use to fill in the blanks.

Please . . . take a moment now to complete the chart on the following page before

continuing in this chapter.

As you can see from the chart, the highest level of internal motivation occurs when an

individual’s Passion, Talent, Values, and Sense of Destiny converge in one activity!

After completing the chart, look for common activities in all four quadrants, and you will

begin to find those clues that will lead you to discover what the child wants to do.

These commonalities can be used to guide you as you “job sculpt” in order to make

your endeavors fit the internal child in every-increasing ways.

However, there is a broader issue at play as a sub-text of the chart. The entire chart is

based on having acquired a self knowledge. And that self knowledge can only be

acquired through an often painful process of trial and error fraught with many

opportunities for failures. This capacity to take the risks necessary to gain self

knowledge will be found in all those people with a healthy inner drive. Giving the

internal child permission to fail is crucial to the successful completion of that process.

That last thought takes me back to watching my four children learn how to walk. It was

quite a predictable process. They would begin by pulling themselves up in their crib.

Then they would “scoot” wherever they went. Eventually, they would pull themselves up

on their favorite chair and then begin a process I referred to as “cruising.” They would

move around the outside of rooms from piece of furniture to piece of furniture not letting

go of one before they had grasped the next in the series. Finally, one day they decided

to take one of the biggest risks of their short lives. They let go of the piece of furniture

without the support of another piece. They stood their and wobbled — working

themselves up to taking that first step.

Watching them take that first step brought yet another observation to the forefront. The

first step was always down! They would step, teeter and fall. At that very moment my

response to them became crucial. If I pointed, laughed and ridiculed or became angry

with that first attempt, my children very likely would have grown up on the floor. Fearful

of incurring my scorn or anger, they would have ceased doing what they needed to do

in order to walk (i.e. falling down).

That process we learned first in walking is repeated over and over again throughout our

lives as we try something and fail only to try something else and succeed. Self

knowledge occurs no other way. The ability to accurately complete the form in this

chapter only comes through many falling down experiences that showed us what wasn’t

our passion, talent, value or destiny.

So if you find it difficult to complete the form, ask yourself the following questions. “Out

of ten decisions that your internal child will make how many will be good ones?” “Out of

ten projects that your internal child undertakes to do how many will s/he successfully

complete?” If you answered “ten” or even “nine” or “eight” to either of those questions,

you are in all probability expecting too much from that little child. Fearful of not living

up to the internal parent’s expectations, the child plays it too safe not taking the

necessary risks to learn more about its passion, talent, values, and destiny. I wish that

there was another way of getting there, and I will certainly keep looking for one.

However, if there is a safer way, it has alluded every client I’ve every seen and me too.

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