Available Balance
Beyond The External Feeling of a Child
November 28, 2017

Sitting as a counselor for twelve years and having people give you permission to literally

look into the recesses of their souls built within me a set of convictions about the human

race that could not have been gained in any other manner.

One of those convictions concerns how the dynamics of internal motivation intertwines

almost imperceptibly with that individual’s capacity to motivate others. I have come to

call my conviction Fill And Spill (for lack of a catchier title). In these final pages, I’d like

to try and help you see what I see.

“We treat others like we treat ourselves” is an understanding that forms the basis of my

understanding. In other words, how our internal parent treats our internal child spills

over into our daily dealings. Soon our external treatment of others mirrors those more

internal and personal dealings.

Do you know someone who cuts others no slack? S/he constantly criticizes and is

never happy with anyone’s performance. With your new understanding, you have been

given a window into their soul. When they are along with themselves in those most

personal of moments, you now know how their internal parent speaks to their internal

child. Never satisfied the internal parent gives the internal child no rest from incessant

naggings to do better. There is no rest for that child, because nothing is or

will be good enough.

Do you know someone whose life seems totally out of control? Their weight is out of

control, their time management is out of control, their finances are out of control, and

their relationships are out of control. You are watching the effects of an internal parent

unable to control an internal child. Possibly the internal parent sets no limits or possibly

the internal parent sets unrealistic limits. The results of both behaviors on the child’s

behavior are oftentimes exactly the same.

However, for the sake of our discussion the above understanding brings to light the truth

that we will be no more successful in motivating others than we are in motivating

ourselves. The people who most consistently motivate others have first used the

techniques in this book on themselves and then began treating others just like they

treated themselves. They filled themselves through a healthy relationship of the internal

parent to the child and it spilled over and got on those with whom they associated. It

has never worked any other way.

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    1. I have to say that I agree with everything that you posted. A lot of the time I don’t think they we as people and humans realize what we put out into the world. e don’t realize that it has to do with what is going on with us on the inside. Growing up my brothers and I were not encouraged to express ourselves so in return we developed a habit of holding everything in. It wasn’t until I started having kids of my own that I realized how unhealthy this behavior is. So I have started a journey of inter peace and I hope to help myself as well as my kids who are watching me. Thanks for your post!


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