Available Balance
The Points I Use To Keep My Marriage Secure
Sam Ekechukwu May 2014 008

Marriage should be secured

Marriage should be secured


1. Greeting My Wife Every Morning With A Kiss
To keep my marriage under proper security, I greet my wife every morning with a kiss. That is after prayers. I do this to reassure her that my love for her has not reduced. I also use greeting and kissing her to wish her good luck for that day.
She returns the greeting and the kissing. My wife being the life wire of chores in the family, example taking care of the kids, washing our clothes, cooking for us, she needs an encouragement from me. At least greeting and kissing is not bought in a supermarket, I freely offer it to make her happy for the day.
2. Bathing With My Wife Daily
I bathe with my wife to show that we are inseperable.There is nothing evil in having our bathe together. This activity makes me to help wash her back and she washes my back also. With bathing together, I will not look at another woman for the day. This is because my wife is the most beautiful woman on earth. That is why she is “the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh”
3. Sleeping with her on the same bed
One of the measures I use to keep my marriage secure is to sleep with my wife on the same bed. Sleeping together with makes me feel her. This makes it impossible for me to start wondering how I will be in another woman’s bosom.
Sleeping together with my wife on the same bed enables me to discuss pressing issues when I remember them at night. I may forget discussing issues if I sleep elsewhere. It is important to be close to your wife to monitor her health condition as she will also monitor mine own health condition.
4. Going to shopping with my wife
Another aspect of keeping my marriage secure is to go to shopping with my wife. For the past twelve years, we make a list of items before going for purchases. Once we are satisfied with our list, we go to the market.
After purchases, we share the items into two bags if the items bought are enormous. We carry the bags home together. If the bag is only one with items, we keep on exchanging the bag carrying it between ourselves until we get home. It is quite a happy exercise. The reason is because a woman is a helper to the man, while a man is the manager of the family.

What New Lovers Like to Do Together
Husb and wife 4

Husb and wife 4
The Two Love Hanging Out For Plans At Nights
Getting into love affairs generate a lot of happiness. In the life of a relationship, couples mostly like to hang out in the evening and nights to make plans for the future. It is quite good to be together to familiarize with each other. It is at these meetings that the man and woman in the relationship bare their minds and get cleared of any doubts regarding the relationship.
Hanging out may be in under a tree, in a restaurant, hotel or any place conducive for the partners -to -be. It is an interesting period of the relationship. At the meetings gifts are exchanged. Poachers in the relationship are discussed. The families of the man and the woman are discussed. How to convince parents, relations and siblings are also discussed. The times for hanging out are memorable as the relationship matures.
2. They Regard Shopping Together At Reputable Stores
It is noteworthy that lovers move together for shopping at reputable stores or supermarkets. The couples –to- be dress from their families or apartments and meet at an agreed place. From there they either board a vehicle or stroll to the market, supermarket or store for their purchases.
Most time it is the woman that gains more of the items. The man buys the needs of the woman. In some cases, the woman buys some items for her heart throb with her own money for remembrance. The gifts gladden the heart of the two of them after return from the purchases. Most times the young woman displays her new dresses with admiration of her peers. Some of those outside the relationship either become envious or jealous.
3. They enjoy other Activities together.
The lovers betrothed like attending to activities together. The man assists in preparation of food. He can undertake to wash and cut the vegetables, pound or grind the pepper. The woman does the actual cooking. The food cooked in this condition is mostly sweet because it is the combined effort in love of the two persons. The lovers also like to go for games, church activities, funerals and other social activities, but mostly they stay apart from each other.

Points That Attract a Man to Marry a Woman
Matured Girl 4

Matured Girl 4
A Woman’s Dressing Attracts a Man
A man can be attracted to a woman through her dressing. Most men prefer women who dress decently while some get attracted to women who dress indecently. Most times men rather go for friendship to women who dress indecently but marry those who are well dressed as wives.
The praises men give to a well dressed woman cannot be over emphasized. Women need to define why they are putting dresses and for what reason. It is the dressing of a woman that tells her character and moral value.
2. The man’s compliments to her make ups
Another aspect of attraction is the make ups of a woman. Most women take cognizance of their dresses before making up. Some really make up according to the colour of their dresses.Most women do not think of how they look after making up. Some who are careful to do their make ups attract men who have the eyes of beauty. It is really an eye-sour if a woman dresses in colour riots. This means that from her face to her toes bears different colours.This does not attract the eyes that love beauty.
3. Men Cherish The Time They Stay Together With Their Girlfriends
Men cherish being together with their girl friends. Staying together means planning together. The time men spend with their girl friends are valued more than business time. There are days when a man in love will like to stay with his girl friend from 6am to 6pm playing, discussing eating and drinking together.
Through staying together during courtship the men get familiar with the women they want to marry. It is better to be familiar with a spouse than the hypocritical deception of “not knowing him or her until marriage proper”. Most times the marriages of couples who did not stay together during courtship” hit the rocks” with time. It is ideal for couples to know themselves properly before agreeing to live together as husband and wife. Marriage is a long term project which needs careful study before engaging in it.

Ye Are the Salt of the Earth
Salt is one of the condiments on Dinning Table

Salt is one of the condiments on Dinning Table

“Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men”.
Immediately after the discuss called the “Beatitudes”,Our Lord Jesus Christ in the 13th Verse of the 5th Chapter of the Gospel written by St Matthew in the Christian Bible gave all people created by God a name. He said, “You are the salt of the earth”.
Salt as mentioned by Jesus Christ here is the edible salt comprising of sodium and chlorine. In science the complete balance is called sodium chloride. This full chemical balance called the common salt is used to sweeten food during cooking, preservation of raw meat to avoid decay, purification of fruits and vegetables. The image of this post shows that salt is one of the condiments that should be on the dinning table.The common salt is used with sugar in medical preparation of oral solution. The oral solution is a temporary food for the sick ones. Patients are advised to use Oral Rehydration Therapy (ORT)to help themselves build up energy fast.
So Jesus called us “the salt of the earth” because he believes that his hearers and followers then and in all generations shall exhibit sweetness of character, preservation of life, and purity of life. He expects us to comfort and sweeten the lives of the people in this dying world. Ours is to raise hope for all who come close to us or those who are far from us. We are to preserve all issues that elongate the world’s life’s span. As Christians and lovers of God, our lives and conducts should be role models for the world to see.
Did not the Saviour of the world rate us with high demand of responsibility? Yes,He says, “Ye are the salt of the earth “.Are we in this generation living up to the “big name “given to us? The answer can be personally answered. Continuing Jesus Christ the saviour said,” but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men”.It is noteworthy that the saviour balanced his words by reminding us that though men are regarded as salt by the heavenly authority, they can decide to lose their “savour”, that is become ineffective. Imagine food in which salt was put tasting as if no salt was put in it. The eaters of the cooked food must request for salt to sweeten the food. That means a life without sweetness creates hopelessness .The salt that loses its savour is only good to be thrown out of the house and men will walk upon it.
Examine your life! How do you rate your life and its impact in our world?.Do you give sweetness to this generation?.What of the violence to humanity, immoral videos, indecent dressings, promiscuity, bestiality, homosexual practices,embezzlements,official curruptions,kidnappings,frauds,armed robberies, pen robberies, internet scams, marital infidelities and encouragement of those who promote these evils. The biblical scripture reminds us that it is only “The fool (that)hath said in his heart, There is no God. The are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good”. So many people are pulling out of the present wickedness of this generation.
The statement,” but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men” is a judgement directly pronounced on those who refused to act according to the word of our saviour. You are the salt of the earth.

Today I learned something that was difficult to chew
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but yesterday I was shattered for not knowing.

Earlier today I had questions answered to thing I’ve been curious about. I’ve also had answers to questions I’ve never asked. The chat I had with the one answering my questions was brief. However, I feel that the answers will forever reverberate in my heart. 

I have a new found respect for someone who I’ve always known.  It is quite sad for me to realize that there is no way for me to go to that person now and tell them how much I appreciate them.. How much I hurt for them. The person to whom I refer has passed away, and has been gone for several years.

I learned that she had to make tough decisions in life. I knew she had to make a few tough decisions, but there were some decisions in her life that I never knew about. It saddens me to think of the horror she had to go through in making the decisions she did. Or what she went through when one decision was completely out of her hands. 

Her plight in life was a horrid one. For all the horrors she faced, however, she faced them beautifully. She had her struggles, and her life was not always easy, but she did her best to “grin and bear it.” Oh how I wish I could hug her now and tell her how much I love her. 

Tell her that I am so sorry she had to go through what she did. Even if some of the results were due to her actions. Even if some of the things that happened, she could have avoided. I would hug her and tell her that I love her, and that I am sorry she had to go through those things. 

Today, my heart goes out for the people that are family to me, but to whom I never had the pleasure of knowing. My heart weeps for the missed opportunities. My heart weeps for the loss that wasn’t truly mine… 

 

Unauthorized Journeys Is a Love- Killer Point in Marriage?
husband and wife fighting over table

husband and wife fighting over table
Unauthorized means “not given official approval”. Unauthorized journey in marriage then means travelling to places without the consent or approval of either a husband or a wife. It also means that a husband or wife travels without discussion and agreement of the other partner. Another meaning is travelling unawares, unexpectedly to place or places with no agreement with a husband or wife. Surprise disappearance from home to a place or places not known to the other partner in marriage. This is a love killer in marriage. Some husbands and wives do this with impudence-a situation of shamelessness, boldness and insolence. Couples who do this treat the other partner with disregard and hence there are consequences to unauthorized journeys. Suspicion of a husband against the wife or vice versa comes into the marriage. Constant worries and running around occurs. This is because the partners who always travel without consent put the other into emotional disturbance. Hence when the offender is on the journey, any news of accident, kidnapping and high way armed robbery attacks throws cold chill into the heart of the other partner. Many marriages have been dissolved as a result of unauthorized journeys. It is actionable in court for a wife or husband to abscond from his or her marriage for a period of exactly one year without communicating the other partner in marriage. Even if there is an emergency, the wife or husband should let his or her partner to know why he or she travelled and the destination of the journey, if he or she wants the other partner to reach him or her. Many husbands and wives had been accused of going to native doctors, boyfriends or girlfriends if they are not able to specifically explain the motive of their journeys and the reason for not letting his or her partner know of the journey they made. It is not welcome in marriage for a husband or wife to disappear for days, or months or years without the consent of the other partner in marriage. There is a tendency for a partner to die in accident or be hospitalized without the knowledge of the other partner. It is a heart breaking practice that should be avoided entirely. The peace of a marriage is very important. Those who handle their marriage with levity always regret the consequences of their actions. This issue should be completely avoided to enable peace and stability to be in place in a marriage.

Matching with your Significant Other? Hot or not?
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Screen Shot 2017-03-18 at 8.40.35 PMDo, Did you ever intentionally match with your significant other? In the beginning stages of our relationship, I thought it was extremely cute to match on some occasions. It would be planned for a nice outing but not all the time and it was only a temporary phrase. We did not match completely but we would wear the same style for instances above in the photo, we both wore jeans but in different shades – his was darker and mine was lighter and similar style boots that we already owned but different brands. As for our shirt, we wore something simple like a white shirt. However, we did not go above and beyond when it came to matching. We never went out to the mall to purchase outfits to match purposely. We would match with outfits we already had in our wardrobe.

I have seen many couples going out and buying matching attires like I am with her and then an arrow (for the guy) and for the girl I am with him with an arrow pointing each other. Or, many are purchasing personalized outfits sold for couples. Couples can do anything they please, but if they are pressuring the significant other to wear an attire they do not want, that would be a problem. I do not believe in pressuring to match, but it would be ideal for special occasions such as: engagement photos, dance events like prom, maternity photos, family photos and etc.

A recent event my fiancé and I matched was for our engagement party. His tie coordinated with my dress. Our theme was baby blue. His tie was striped and blue by Burberry and my dress was a baby blue lace detailing dress. We did not match seamlessly but the color scheme was and also not intentionally either. I happened to find a dress I liked to be the same color, so I am glad that worked!

Do you match with your significant other? Or spouse? What are your thoughts?

My piece on the friend zone
March 13, 2017
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love picture

The other day I was watching MTV’s friend zone. For those who don’t know what the show is about its basically people who are friends in a very common situation where one friend has fallen in love for the other without the other friend knowing. This particular show aims to help people get out of the friend zone by helping  the person in love to reveal their feelings in the hopes that his/her affections are accepted at the risk of losing the friendship due to good modern fashioned awkwardness. Whether or not the show is staged is irrelevant to me to because I know it represents many people around the world who are going through this. Keep in mind that its not wrong to be friends with someone from the opposite gender, merely that people have to accept that when it comes to what you need and what you want, choosing a partner can be very much like between a bottle of vodka and an apple with fruit inside, although the bottle will make for a wonderful night partying and “cutting loose” it will also come with some consequences in the end whereas the apple can be consumed and the seeds inside can later grow a tree. I also couldn’t help but notice the time it takes for most of these people to make a decision about whether or not to date the friend because its usually done in the same moment. One episode caught my interest because the guy in love had prepared himself for the worst.

After thinking that she was helping him on a  show to get another date it was suddenly revealed to the beautiful woman that she is the woman of his dreams. The young lady did a lot of crying, I suppose no one told her that men were designed to like women. What made me distrust her judgement is the fact that she spent the entire first part of the episode talking about how great he was and how he was always there for her. All I thought about was the grey area of a beautiful hell that this guy had been living in for the entire length of the friendship, knowing what the outcome would be and what he would do once it happened. He went to MTV friend zone as a maximum effort with a plan that he would leave town if she said no, which she did. He knew her well as a good friend friend and therefore suspected that she would say no, he created a backup plan that would keep him sane once the friend he knew well would say no, if they were that close then he knew she’d react however she normally reacts and that she would see him the way she always see’s things before telling him, so he made a plan in his head that he was prepared to leave: once MTV contacts him, helps him get the heavy words out of his heart and they did and at the end of his part of the episode he left town, just like he planned. The way i see it, he didn’t leave town because he was rejected but because he finally got it off his chest. While she was crying and displaying some emotions I couldn’t read I noticed he looked relieved. To know that he doesn’t have to dream anymore and can now start a new life with a life lesson.

While this may be sad we have admit that the woman had every right to say no regardless of how she might regret it later in life, I’m saying that because he was apparently there after her break ups which means he knows more than anyone what it takes to upset and what is needed to cheer her up. The general lie being told to friends who are in love and have now admitted to having deeper feelings is the person being asked doesn’t want to ruin the friendship on the off chance that things that work out between them but in all honesty, more people remain  friends after a break up than people who remain friends after one has admitted to having feelings for the other. I was in  relationship where it turned out that the person i was with had feelings for friend of mine, it wasn’t something  that had developed over time, merely that she like others around her liked him. He was that kind of guy they liked, as did she to the point of creating a distance between us until we broke up and somehow remained distant friends, but knowing her over the years I learnt she has a weakness for that sort of thing which helped during the break up as I tripped into a pot fueled hipster phase before finally emerging as an IT specialist. What I learnt was that you cant reflect on yourself based on other peoples interests and preferences, if a particular person can’t see you for the good you see in yourself every morning then would spend your entire life living as a moon to that persons world and although you might eventually be with them, they aren’t likely to stop talking about the people in their lives that gave them good experiences that you wouldn’t consider fun, only later to meet a married individual who actually shares your interests and makes you feel what you might have never felt before.

Its definitely worth risking a friendship for a relationship as friends come and go but if your reason for not being with someone was simply because you didn’t want to ruin the friendship then understand that you have failed to follow your natural instinct of choosing a partner that you would be happy to die beside because in your last moments you don’t want to be with those that were constantly making you upset, its much easier to learn to love someone you already like than to tolerate someone your’e only physically attracted to.

NAGING: A LOVE- KILLER POINT IN MARRIAGE
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Break up is next when Nagging begins

Break up is next when Nagging begins


Nagging is to annoy by continual scolding. It also means to keep troubling a spouse, whether wife or husband. There are wives who annoy their husbands from day to day. Those things their husbands kick against is what they occupy themselves doing. Remember, the writer of Proverbs remarked against nagging. He wrote,” She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:12)Doing a man good is to cook for him, wash his clothes, clean the house, cherish his health and care for him as a baby. Wives should know that husbands become stubborn when they (wives) fail on their duties. Jokes and campaigns apart, there is no how a woman will equate herself with a man in marital affairs. This is because really it is the wife that actually joins the husband especially in Africa. In other parts of the world, a man may join a woman and they become husband and wife. A man has more strength. A man easily adjusts in case of any mishap in a marriage arrangement. A wife becomes an abandoned statue when she deliberately fails to do her duties to her husband, especially giving him comfort. A wife should share in the glories of her husband and also the liabilities. A man is not a perfect creature that was why God gave him a helper. That helper, his wife should be fit for him except she proves otherwise. I write this because a wife and raw food stuffs should not be there in the house and a husband goes to eat or buy food outside his home. It is not recommended that a wife should live to see another woman cooking for her husband. She should not allow other people to wash her husband’s clothes except the ones he wants washed by drycleaners. A wife should protect her husband in the face of oppositions.It is very bad for a woman to join her husband’s enemies to accuse and revile him in the time of challenges. Nagging involves a wife turning her face to the wall when she is on the bed with her so called husband. A wife who is always complaining of sickness every night, but in the day she is a lioness. The husband and wife should enjoy their sex life if they are married.

A good spouse – what it means for you?
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How to be a good spouse? This question probably not so often arises in our heads. I think women more than men are prone to take interest in the subject of relations, analyze problems, seek solutions and development opportunities. We had a such topic for conversation in a meeting with friends and laughed imagining that men also could meet to talk about how to be a good husband to their wifes. I really wanted to ask my friend who is in marriage for 25 years, and it still seems, at least to me, like their marriage were at the first year.  I wonder how build the relationship those who, after so many years seem really happy together. So, here is my thoughs on how to be a good spouse.

Maintain a good relationship. It is important to plan your time together with your spouse. If something is planned, both are waiting for a time together. There should be shared hobbies and leisure. It is important to create certain traditions, it may even be very small traditions what you can do together with your spouse. Enjoy the small things and create good feelings and memories of experiences together.

Handle a conflict situation. Never offend your spouse. Distinguish between serious relationship problems and small falling-out, which may arise from fatigue, personal failures, bad mood and so on. A serious relationship problems need to discuss quiet, and what is not important you can just forget and move on.  Better to try abstain from the emotional explosion.  Never make generalizations being angry. remember that you disagree on something, but basically you love each other and in principe everything is fine. Not be afraid to admit your mistakes, misbehavior and so on.
Together care about your children. Duties distribution related to child care, should satisfy both, but in different families may be different. It is important that both feel good. Children need to see their parents as a strong union, united, not conflicting with each other. Children should see the opposition to one another. It’s enough to be a good parent of your children, you do not need to be perfect. The best thing parents can give to their children is to be happy together, to enjoy life and love one another.
Be a good spouse. Allow your spouse to feel recognized, respected, important. Praise for the successes and support in failures. Keep the peace at home. Be interesting to your spouse that relations would remain intrigue. Have your own interests, be interested in new things, improving, not staying at one place. Never show yourself as a victim in a relations. Do not do what nobody asks you, what nobody wants and not feel for this worthy to be valued. Self-sacrifice requires limits. Alternatively, the limit is where you begin to feel a victim. Allow yourself to not be able to do everything and ask the spouse for help. Do not be emotionally unstable, angry, muttering…
That’s my thoughts on how to be a good spouse. I like to read about happy marriages formules and something try out myself.