Available Balance
Arguments Take Two
October 12, 2016
17
hqdefault_Arguments Take Two

The pig thing is in the hallway, repeating a remark over and again, hoping I will respond.

I have ignored her for days.  She is looking for contention, but I have decided that I do not engage with pig things.

The more she talks the louder she becomes, repeating herself over and over again.  She is looking for me to say something, but I have the radio on, so all I hear is some dull noise, the words obliterated.

I am listening to the news.  The dull noise continues.

Sometime ago the pig thing had looked for an argument and I obliged her.  It was stupid of me.  She got to make up her stupid noises as if she had a ‘right’ or ‘reason’.

I considered my behavior.  Why should I notice her?  Did I decide to have an argument?  Did I chose this topic, this event or was it thrust on me, and I foolishly let her set my agenda?

When people pick fights; it is their fight.  You are roped into a confrontation that was prepared, in advance.  Whether the anger was there from last month and now is the first opportunity, or if it was something that the other wanted to air, you become a pawn.

You are to ‘respond’ not ‘speak’.  Or are to ‘react’ not ‘act’.  It is all out of your hands, because here is something that you have no interest in which is suddenly the focus of your existence.

I have decided not to participate.

I decide to only engage in discussions I wish to engage in, arguments which have some point.  I decide not to let other people set my agenda.

The pig thing is still making her barks.  My door is closed and she can stand in the hallway and continue.  I am not interested.  She will not decide when I get angry, when I get defensive.  She will not enter into my thoughts.

It is the greatest insult.  The greatest retaliation to refuse to ‘honor’ a pig thing with a response.

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    1. Aw darling friend I think she just wins because you think and talk about her. I hope you sort things with your girlfriend, it sounds very complex to me. Wish you beautiful day and lot of the happiness.

       
    2. I agree it’s like a mutual agreement where when one starts to argue the other one should start. It’s like it comes natuarally. When someone argues or is constantly arguing there is a problem somewhere. If there is such a person that you have to keep dealing with its best to keep off because nothing you say will keep them quiet. When one starts an argument and the other person does not respond the argument will not go on because there will be no one to argue with

       
      • I made up my mind I’m not responding. I didn’t respond yesterday and today she stood outside my door talking loud… no response.

        I’m not responding to her. Let her argue with herself.

         
    3. LOL. The title of your post got my attention because it’s similar to an expression my late mother used to say to me. “It’s takes two to make an argument.” 🙂 Here’s the things with an argument. Figure out if it’s justified. By that I mean: ‘Did you cause it?’ I did not start it. I said “cause”. If it’s your fault you owe that person. If the problem is not on your side of the fence, don’t worry about it, unless that person is getting up in your face and may cause you harm or injury. In that case, you would have to take appropriate action to protect and defend yourself. Otherwise … ignoring them will take care of the matter, as far as you’re concerned. Who they mad at? Can’t be you! 🙂

       
    4. Yes. the pig like things exist in each and every society. What actually they want is to share their anger with others. They drag somebody into the pond they live in and try to find some solace. These are very peculiar personalities. The best way to deal with these people is to remain quiet or to maintain a distance from them. Even then they will not leave one. They will approach you with a hammer in their mouth and start shouting. How long should we tolerate? Another technique is to invite some unknown guest and to sacrifice him.

      I think this is a psychological instability of mind of a person. Even then, the best way as you said is to keep them away or to keep ourselves away from these pig things.

       
      • You know exactly what you are saying. That is the situation. Just staying away from the pig thing is the only way to avoid the situation. There is no ‘normal’ here.

         
    5. I just ignore these people. Don’t think much of her. If you do, you are greatly affected. Don’t let her pull you down. The more you ignore her presence, she would be more in ranting. And that’s not your problem anymore. It’s definitely hers. Let her have all the stress in the world.

       
    6. What an insightful post! Sometimes the best way to avoid an argument is not to be drawn into it as you say. There are times when walking away or ignoring the bait is an act of wisdom and courage. Before being drawn into an argument ask yourself: is it necessary? What good will it accomplish? People are drawn into useless arguments simply because they let their ego determine how they should respond. Some think that keeping quite is an act of cowardice and submission. But ignoring a person or walking away will deprive the “ping thing” of the audience that she craves for….

       
    7. Well you can only hope the best for her

       

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