It begins almost deceptively. Little words, tiny insults, back slap excuses.
“I keep thinking you’re as bright as I am…”
“I should know you can’t do any better…”
“I never should have expected that You could do it, I’m sorry…”
Unless you are a certified genius and you know, for a fact, you are far smarter than the speaker, the words hurt, demean and undercut.
Verbal Abuse is often the last step before Physical Abuse. This is because many abusers are not fulfilled by mere words.
Some are.
Many abusers will marry women younger than they are. Usually this younger woman is their second wife as their first has raced to freedom.
As he is older… sometimes by ten years or more, the second wife accepts that he knows more than she does as a knee jerk reaction, so his insults are accepted as true.
For many men, being able to verbally demean their wives is as far as they need to go.
Many add ‘wife bashing’ to the agenda.
Wife Bashing is when a man will ask out another woman so he can have a captive audience while he excoriates his wife.
Often, the other woman assumes he is working up to the affair, not realising that he gets more pleasure insulting his wife to a stranger than he would gain in a sexual context.
Many men stop here because they hold themselves as a ‘gentleman’ who would ‘never’ hit a woman. The fact is, his words are as sharp as a stab.
People who hear him, for he does his proclamations in public for the widest audience, will, in take his word as true. Others might become uncomfortable and avoid him.
He will verbally abuse his wife any where, in front of anyone.
And the victim takes it.
Verbal Abuse is stock and trade of the Boss From Hell. They will verbally abuse their workers. Bosses from Hell treat their employees as slaves and believe the salary they pay covers this aspect of the job.
Verbal abuse is the last stop before the beatings begin.
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Verbal abuse is not always considered as serious as other forms of violence but the effects can be devastating.
Verbal abuse doesn't leave physical bruises, but it can cause deep and lasting mental scars. But help is available.
When it comes to domestic abuse, we think of the external signs: black eyes, broken bones, bruises or bleeding. But research demonstrates that the long-term effects of verbal and emotional abuse can be just as devastating, if not more so, than the long-term effects of physical violence.
The old adage goes: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me." But ultimately, it's often words that can do the most damage. Other people's words have an incredible power to affect how we see and feel about ourselves. While positive words of encouragement can uplift and inspire us, negative words cut to the core and resonate over and over again.