Available Balance
Make your child fell better.

It’s something all of us try to do every day..

Being a parent can be challenging and rewarding at the same time, but seeing your child sad or hurt is heartbreaking.  Our parental instinct is to fix it all and make it better.  We tend to distract the problem with lollies, toys, junk food, a quick fix, but does it fix the true issue or cause your child bigger issues later on?

Simple answer, yes, this will cause issues down the track.  Comfort eating, binge drinking, gambling, drugs and solitude all come to mind..how many of you and people you know do these things for comfort?

As parents, should we be incouraging this behaviour or helping our children work through their feeling from talking about it and pysical comfort.

What are your ways on dealing with these issues?

I have 5 children of my own and for me, giving my child a sweet treat to help wipe away their tears always comes to mind first, and then i remind myself that this has not proven helpful to me and i don’t want that for my children.

The other week, after basketball, my eldest son Malic, who is 11yrs was so upset.  As we left the stadium and headed to the car, i could see he was sad about something, i asked him if he was okay, and he cried, telling me that he was hurt from not feeling included in the team.  I should let you know that he subs for this team.  Driving home, all i wanted to do was drive thru McDonalds and make him feel better, but i didn’t.  Instead, we talked about it and i reinforced how great of an opputunity being a sub for the team was and it was ok to feel this way.  I thanked him for sharing his feelings with me and hugged him many times.

I let him then be alone with his thoughts, whilst checking in on him every hour to make sure he was ok.  We also spoke to the coach, so he could confront the issue and really work through it.

I believe that this will help my children really grow as a person and learn about who they are.  He still wants to sub for this team and continues to be the best that he can be, and i believe it’s because he spoke about what was bothering him..

If we as parents can all encourage this behaviour with our childdren, then maybe depression will be a thing of the past.  Listen to your children, they are amazing little people with amazingly intelligent minds.

Little Children Must Not be Given Electronic Gadgets

Child psychologists say parents should not give their children electronic gadgets like cellphone, tablets, i-pad or other modern gadgets which they use for playing games.

They say, a child can have a cellphone or gadget when he is already 14 years old. This is to protect them from online scams, and other unfavorable sites which should be seen by adults only. Some of these sites are porn sites, etc. which “pollutes” the mind of the children. There could be some safety measures to prevent this like putting lock codes, but children could be so intelligent enough to unlock it.

Children might think that whatever they see online is the right thing to do. They could not think well, or they can be exposed to negative influences like not-so-good friends on Facebook, and other social media sites.

It is said that children who are exposed to gadgets at very early age tend to be impatient; they want things done the easiest way as do an iphone or smartphone does. With just a swipe or a click, they can easily get what they want, or answer their questions instantly. Aside early from this, psychologists say that early exposure to gadgets make the child lazy, or tend to rely on instant results instead of trying hard or exerting his full potentials to achieve something.

This is the reason why I do not like parents who give their children those electronic gadgets instead of giving them educational toys that can help develop their potentials. They should also allow them to mingle with other children to improve their emotional quotient, or to make them well-rounded. They could also learn how to share toys, to be considerate of the feelings of other children; to express themselves, or to be sociable, instead of being aloof or sitting alone in front of a computer all day.

Children should experience to play on playgrounds, to trample on the grass or dried leaves, to feel the ground on their feet. But they should be supervised closely by their parents, guardians, or caregivers.

Some parents justify giving their children electronic gadgets saying they are too busy to supervise them;but they should be creative enough to allot some time for their children; to play with them; to see how their children grow instead of letting babysitters do it for them.

Children will always treasure the days when their mothers or fathers take care of them. They should be cared for by humans, not by robots or electronic gadgets.

Harmful phrases that we say without thinking to daughters.

It is said that the words we say to our children later become their inner voice. Therefore, when speaking with the children we should weigh every sentence. Let parents treat by words rather than crush self-confidence and encourage to plunge into damaging relationships.

How often parents and especially mother say to her daughter: “He behaves so because he likes you”. If to delve in memory, almost every girl will remember such situation when coming home complained to adults that a classmate or neighbor took her items, pushed her, named not in nice words, and relatives only smiled explaining that “he just shows his sympathy.”

Maybe this time they guessed the boy’s motives, but in such way they sent the wrong message to daughter. Indirectly put into her head, that all delicate feelings are accompanied by the opposite sex abuse (physical or psychological), encourage to keep contact with the perpetrator and suffer silently. One of the consequences can be very sad – adult girl will stuck in harmful relationships with violent partners.

The same applies to adults that still joke “if beats, means love”. Do we really think so, and we want our daughters believe it?

“This is not women affair”. We live in the twenty-first century, when women create spaceships, and men take parental vacation and stay at home to take care of the baby. Separating works or hobbies into “male” and “female”, we press daughters into frames and limit their professional choices in the future.

“I’m thick and ugly”. Not for nothing they say that children are a reflection of parents’ behavior. If mom every day before the mirror will try to hide the abdomen and mask even the smallest wrinkles, do not be surprised that her daughter will negatively talk about her appearance. Only by own example parents can teach to love he body and develop healthy self-confidence.


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Children need more games, not toys.

What kind of gifts like the children, that would uplift their imagination, thinking, creativity, emotional intelligence, in other words, that kids not only like it, but also gifts would train them. Of course, the most precious gift for both children and adults is being together, sincere attention, together lived experiences.

What is the influence of advertising for children gifts selection? I noticed that most children’s desired gifts are those that are associated with the most popular animated films and TV series. I believe that every child’s toy can develop creativity and social skills. Toys developing imagination and creativity teach adequately express feelings, develop empathy and develop children’s emotional intelligence.

The best gift for children always is the time spent together. The games best unite parents with children. It develops children’s thinking, emotional intelligence and social skills.

If your children have at home a lot of games, give the experience to children. Organize a treasure search in the backyard or in the park. Invite them to a movie theater or amusement park. Such entertainment and fun experience provides a lot of fun for both children and you, and will help to understand that you have more than imagined. In addition, you will create special memories of both yourself and your child, about which your child could speak when will grow up.

It seems to me that choosing presents to the children, the most important is not the size or cost of gifts, but how much effort you have put into choosing or preparation of the gift, how much gift shows that you care about your child.

A gift does not have to become the main focus of the festival, but only a symbol of how you appreciate each other. Therefore, remember that the best gifts are those that give the opportunity to reveal the child, develops his problem solving skills and critical thinking as well as an opportunity to reveal his imaginative and creativity. Therefore, children need more games, not toys. They need more attention, rather than objects.


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How Bad Is Health Care?

This is a true story.  I only change the names.

Desireen and her husband Errol were in New York City having arrived on student Visas from Jamaica.  Desireen became pregnant and obtained pre-natal care.

The doctors told her that she was very anemic and had vitamin deficiencies and gave her supplements.  When she was in her ninth month the Doctors strongly advised her not to try to breast feed as she could not give the baby the proper nourishment.

Errol was a medical student and read the results of her tests, and comprehended the situation and agreed with the physicians and Desireen had the baby and fed him formula.

A year later, despite taking supplements having a very good diet, she was still far below ‘normal’ standards, so when she became pregnant with their second child, there was no thought of breast feeding.

They graduated and returned to Jamaica with their children, and in a few years, Desireen was pregnant again. She obtain what is called ante-natal ‘care’.

Unlike the previous occasions in America where they took the various blood tests and advised her of her hemocrit and  vitamin levels, they didn’t say a word.  Desireen asked, and they told her she was ‘fine’.   She asked about anemia, about her calcium levels, and they assured her she was fine and could breast feed.

Desireen was not convinced that she had attained the required levels, and Errol and she went to a particular laboratory and did the tests and found that Desireen was anemic, had low calcium and various other vitamin deficiencies.

Yet, in Jamaica, these deficiencies were slapped away as minor and she was encouraged to breast feed.

They had a helper named Odette.  Errol took her for blood tests.   She had worse readings than Desireen.  She also had four kids she had breast fed.   One was bow legged, the other had lost teeth, and all of them were rather dull.   Odette said she had gone for ante-natal care.  That she was never told anything about anemia, about vitamins, about anything.  And was encouraged to breast feed, which she did.

Desireen did not breast feed her third child.  She gave her formula.

The questions that Errol had for the medical profession were slapped aside.   One doctor went so far as to tell him; “These people have no money, and further, how many could properly measure the formula anyway?”

An older doctor told Errol that when he was young, and the British were here, they gave out powdered milk free and many children were fed this instead of breast milk or along with breast milk.  That when he was growing up, health clinics were very pro-active.

Then, the British left, and within fifteen years the ‘breast is best’ campaign swamped the country and everyone was advised to breast feed, regardless of the condition of the mother.  Only where the mother was dead, critically ill, or had no milk, was formula prescribed.

Today, everyone is advised to breast feed, without any real testing or consideration of deficiencies.

I doubt Jamaica is the only country with this policy.


Overcome the fear of pregnancy

Are you pregnant or are you planning to be soon, but do you have a number of fears? Whether you are or is a matter of time, fears are the most normal things that can happen to you. It is important to understand that this does not make you weak and unable to be good parents and to do well, both with pregnancy and with birth. And with that you raise up a wonderful child.

It is true that every new and unknown thing is frightening for most people, especially when we have partial information from people who have decorated it in unpleasant shades. Everyone has their fears, whether rational or irrational. But all future or current mothers have gone through these worries and concerns. Here is a short list of the most common fears in pregnancy: Will I manage to be a good mother?

This is perhaps the first and main thought that goes through the head of every pregnant woman, as well as those who are considering having a child. The truth is that one always does. The problem is he does not believe enough until he looks back and does not realize how well he actually did. That is why, even if not so pleasant periods of our life, they look kind, nice and idyllic compared to the present – simply because we look back at the difficulties we have already done, the way is already gone and is familiar, It is not scary, as it was before us.Think about it, someday all of this will be in the past, and you will almost certainly dream of returning this time, experiencing these emotions … Try to look at this point from another perspective.

Besides, what does it mean to do well? One always makes mistakes that allow him to progress and become better. In this sense, do not confuse “good” with “infallible”. The most important thing on the way is to love your child, and that will no doubt happen. You will love your child and you will always be doing it because it is an instinct. Birth will be very difficult and painful and will not deal with it …

It is pointless for us to focus on a single moment or hypothetical situations in which we may never fall, but focusing on us depriving us of the good things that happen next to us or at least to live peacefully in Our routine everyday life. And yet, it’s normal! Birth is something unfamiliar, something that has not happened to us, but we have been looking at the movies for a while, reading and listening.

The fact is that everyone is afraid of the pain. Statements such as “It’s been happening since the world is coming” and “Every woman is fit for it” do not give us much comfort because they do not change our sense of fear of pain. But pain, first, in many cases, is not stronger than the one with the monthly cycle, secondly it is constructive, and it should actually give way if the woman comes out of the vicious circle of fear of pain because the more fear Of pain, the more pain.

Our life is strongly influenced by the Western culture, in which the drama of the woman in the movies is our only “real” look at birth (while we do not have our own birth). We are irradiated with an idea of childbirth, but it is unknown among other cultures where birth takes place very slightly.

Here’s how the vicious circle works – fear of pain, the removal of catecholamines (stress hormones), the removal of blood from the uterus and its concentration in the hands and feet (as fear and tension make the body to fight or escape), disturbance of normal access Of oxygen to the uterus, the muscles do not have sufficient resources and pain. Inadequate breathing also contributes to increased pain. Therefore, instead of focusing on your fear of pain, it is better to see what you can build in order to avoid confronting it.I encourage you to get better informed about birth, possible behaviors during the process, breathing, visiting special courses for parents, and during birth do not think about yourself and their unpleasant sensations, but about the baby and how it Maybe he feels.

This is a huge responsibility I do not know if I can handle it

Yes, this is a huge responsibility. And what? If it is less responsibility, is it easier? The question of responsibility and understanding of having a baby is a huge responsibility, in fact, it is only on the agenda until the baby appears. Then the thought of “the great responsibility” and the fear of not being able to deal with is far away in the past – the time when we have had time to think about it.Because when the baby comes, you just do things without thinking, doing them as you feel them, and feeling – they happen no matter how big or small the responsibility is, how difficult or easy it is because that’s how nature is built And because this is your child.

Facts: What is Childhood Stress?

Some parents cannot understand their children’s behavior, especially at the primary level. It wasn’t because the child is becoming misbehaving in the house or disobeying the parents. The main reason is the external or internal factors that contribute to childhood stress. Parenting is the tough thing to do in raising a child. Though they need to understand why their child is so stressed out.

Children are also like the adult ones. They experience stress from school, environment and even in the house. Stressors need to identify before judging the child. It wasn’t because they are under the spell of tantrum episodes. It affects their ability to think when being pressured from stressors.

That’s the reason why parents need to understand that children can be stressed out. They need to balance of being strict to their children. In some occasions, children are manifesting rebellious acts because they were not being heard by the adults. Parents should know how to reach out and listen to the child’s sentiments.

There are some parents insensitive to the needs of their children emotionally. In most cases, parents are only physically present to the children’s needs such as providing the tuition fees at school, daily allowances, clothes, food, etc. These are not enough to support child’s needs.

The emotional needs go along with providing some good advice such as the needs of accomplishing something at school, people that affect their lives, insecurities of something or someone, knowing what puzzled them, etc. It is a two-way process of learning between being a parent and a child. Parents can learn from their children and vice-versa.

This concern is not also limited to the parents. It should be learned by the teachers in school. Since the children are being catered by the teachers all throughout their lives. It is a not perfect world both parents and teachers should work together to boost the confidence of a child to face stressors. It will build their way of dealing with the stressors that affect them.

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Menstruation; women’s struggle every month

What is period?

Feminine cycle (men-STRAY-shuhn) is a lady’s month to month experience of bleeding. When you bleed, your body sheds the covering of the uterus (womb). Menstrual blood streams from the uterus through the little opening in the cervix and goes out of the body through the vagina. Most menstrual periods last from 3 to 5 days.

Feminine cycle, otherwise called a period or month to month, is the standard release of blood and mucosal tissue from the internal coating of the uterus through the vagina.The first period ordinarily starts in the vicinity of twelve and fifteen years old, a point in time known as menarche.However, periods may sporadically begin as youthful as eight years of age and still be viewed as typical. The normal age of the primary time frame is for the most part later in the creating scene, and prior in the created world. The normal time allotment between the primary day of one period and the principal day of the following is 21 to 45 days in young ladies, and 21 to 31 days in grown-ups (a normal of 28 days).Bleeding for the most part keeps going around 2 to 7 days. Feminine cycle quits happening after menopause, which as a rule happens in the vicinity of 45 and 55 years of age.Periods likewise quit amid pregnancy and normally don’t continue amid the underlying months of breastfeeding.

What is the menstrual cycle?

Whenever periods (monthly cycles) come frequently, this is known as the menstrual cycle. Having customary menstrual cycles is an indication that vital parts of your body are working regularly. The menstrual cycle gives critical body chemicals, called hormones, to keep you solid. It additionally readies your body for pregnancy every month. A cycle is numbered from the main day of 1 period to the primary day of the following time frame. The normal menstrual cycle is 28 days in length. Cycles can extend somewhere in the range of 21 to 35 days in grown-ups and from 21 to 45 days in youthful high schoolers.

The ascent and fall of levels of hormones amid the month control the menstrual cycle.

What occurs amid the menstrual cycle?

In the principal half of the cycle, levels of estrogen (the “female hormone”) begin to rise. Estrogen assumes an imperative part in keeping you solid, particularly by helping you to manufacture solid bones and to help keep them solid as you get more established. Estrogen likewise makes the coating of the uterus (womb) develop and thicken. This covering of the womb is a place that will support the developing life if a pregnancy happens. In the meantime the coating of the womb is growing, an egg, or ovum, in one of the ovaries begins to develop. At about day 14 of a normal 28-day cycle, the egg leaves the ovary. This is called ovulation.

After the egg has left the ovary, it goes through the Fallopian tube to the uterus. Hormone levels rise and help set up the uterine covering for pregnancy. A lady is destined to get pregnant amid the 3 days before or upon the arrival of ovulation. Remember, ladies with cycles that are shorter or longer than normal may ovulate before or after day 14.

A lady winds up noticeably pregnant if the egg is prepared by a man’s sperm cell and appends to the uterine divider. On the off chance that the egg is not prepared, it will break separated. At that point, hormone levels drop, and the thickened coating of the uterus is shed amid the menstrual period.

Day 1 begins with the principal day of your period. This happens after hormone levels drop toward the finish of the past cycle, flagging blood and tissues covering the uterus (womb) to separate and shed from the body. Draining keeps going around 5 days.

As a rule by Day 7, draining has halted. Paving the way to this time, hormones cause liquid filled pockets called follicles to create on the ovaries. Every follicle contains an egg.

Between Day 7 and 14, one follicle will proceed to create and achieve development. The coating of the uterus begins to thicken, sitting tight for a prepared egg to embed there. The coating is rich in blood and supplements.

Around Day 14 (in a 28-day cycle), hormones make the develop follicle burst and discharge an egg from the ovary, a procedure called ovulation.

Throughout the following couple of days, the egg goes down the fallopian tube towards the uterus. In the event that a sperm joins with the egg here, the prepared egg will proceed down the fallopian tube and connect to the covering of the uterus.

In the event that the egg is not treated, hormone levels will drop around Day 25. This flags the following menstrual cycle to start. The egg will break separated and be shed with the following time frame.

No Peaceful Environment for a Big Mouth

Parenting is the most serious job that needs to be an expert into. A peaceful family can always start in the house. One of the hated most people is having a persona of a big mouth. If the parents are a big mouth, it is most likely adapted by their children. It is nice to have a home with no shouting. It should be a peaceful home for everybody.

These children will bring this behavior in school. For some reasons, some parents are being called by the principal because of the bad characters of their children. It is shameful for the parents to hear this. They are still in denial and brush off what made the children so hostile. They cannot control the big mouth of their children at school.

It is egoistic behavior that they refused to change into good parents for their children. Life is not easy for the children to live in a normal standard of living. As they grow older, these children will blame their parents for the shortcomings of their life. It wasn’t perfect but the manner of having sentiments cannot be denied. It was a scar of their inner souls forever.

For the children outgrown the hopeless case of their family, they can rethink and be a responsible parent in their own family in the future. It wasn’t a perfect world, but they are willingly wanted to change the bad experience during their childhood years.

Parenting should be taken seriously. It wasn’t a game to be the best parents in the world. They just need to do be best as far they could for their children. Being a role model is the strong point for the child to hold on and be the best they could. It wasn’t easy but the way of learning to be a good parent is possible.

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Women’s Fashion Started When Playing Dress Up Game in Childhood Years

Most girls at young age love to play dress up game. It is where they appreciated the fashion. The moment they see their mothers’ dress up in front of a mirror. Out of curiosity, the young ones look up to their mother. It wasn’t traditional to know about how to look better in public.

Mothers are usually shown the proper dress up. It will always start going out in the park, restaurant, playground, etc. Most kids are dress up during their birthdays. A beautiful dress is usually the outfit to celebrate her natal’s day. At some point, these young girls adapted dressing up games. If mom’s not around, the little girls are exploring the closet. They tend to check the clothes, accessories, shoes, etc.

It was really fun for these young girls to look at themselves in front of a mirror. The manner of wearing their mother’s clothes have the feeling of dream come true. As they grow older, some of them would love to be in the industry of fashion such as be a model, fashion designer, owning a fashion boutique, etc.

Girls with big imagination and dream can fulfill being in fashion. It is a passion that drives them to be in the future. Dress up game has been the main factor to be in love with fashionable clothes, accessories, extravagant shoes, etc.

Whatever the girls’ dreams, it always comes to the point that the starting point is from home. The mothers are the one molded them to be somebody and find ways to learn how to reach one’s goal in life. A child’s dream is too strong that parents need to support him or her all throughout. That’s the reason why mother always needs to be supportive and have an important role for their children in the younger years.

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