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Do you want to shape your child like you?

There is a well-known axiom with respect to kids: “Do as I say, not as I do.” Whoever authored this adage didn’t know much about youngsters. Kids frequently don’t “do as we say.” We are the good examples in regards to how our youngsters figure out how to treat themselves as well as other people. We are the good examples with respect to regardless of whether our kids figure out how to assume individual liability for themselves – physically, inwardly, monetarily, socially, profoundly, and authoritatively.

Do you maintain a strategic distance from duty regarding your own particular sentiments with substances, exercises, or with disgracing and accusing conduct toward yourself or others? Is it true that you are constantly late and is your work area a wreck? Do you eat inadequately and need work out? Is it true that you are dependably in significant Mastercard obligation? Do you do not have an association with a profound wellspring of adoration and direction?

On the off chance that you need your youngsters to be on time, then you should be on time. In the event that you need your kids to be sound and fit, then you should be solid and fit. On the off chance that you need your youngsters to be completely forthright, then you should be straightforward. On the off chance that you need to bring up cheerful and serene youngsters, then you have to good example how to be upbeat and quiet. On the off chance that you need your kids to have high confidence, then you have to figure out how to treat yourself and them with benevolence and minding. In the event that you treat your kids with minding and regard, yet your youngsters encounter you disgracing yourself and regarding yourself as though your sentiments and requirements are not imperative, there is a decent shot they will figure out how to lack of respect themselves also.

For instance, Martin experienced childhood in a family where both of his folks were high achievers and profited. Be that as it may, his mom was a profoundly judgmental lady and his dad was constantly miserable and stressed over something. Is it any unexpected that Martin does well monetarily, yet is continually judging himself as well as other people and is frequently upset over minor things?

Angie grew up with a mother who was completely committed to her. In Angie’s psyche, her mom was the perfect mother – kind, humane, and constantly prepared to tune in to Angie and help her with her issues. Her dedicated father was additionally a kind and minding individual. However Angie experiences serious difficulties cherishing consideration of herself. She disregards duty regarding her own emotions, does not sustain herself well, is frequently judgmental toward herself, and experiences serious difficulties things done. She is always searching out a man to top her off and make her vibe commendable. How did this occur with such cherishing guardians?

While Angie’s folks were wanting to her, they were not wanting to themselves. Angie’s mom utilized nourishment to stay away from her sentiments, and was continually surrendering herself to please others. What’s more, she would never entirely get composed and was constantly late. Angie’s dad spent his life buckling down and utilizing the TV to stay away from his emotions. Neither of Angie’s folks part displayed moral duty regarding their physical and passionate wellbeing. Angie was molded significantly more by how they treated themselves than how they treated her. Truth be told, in light of the fact that they treated her so affectionately and treated themselves so unlovingly, Angie grew up trusting that it was others’ obligation to love her and fill her, as opposed to her own particular duty. She grew up being destitute and requesting, instead of by and by dependable.

Do you need your kids to resemble you? As a parent, it is vital to investigate what you are part demonstrating for your youngsters – with respect to how you treat others, as well as how you treat yourself. On the off chance that there are sure values that you need your kids to have when they grow up, they are significantly more prone to have your qualities in the event that they profoundly regard you. Also, they won’t regard you in the event that you don’t approach yourself with deference. It is very vital, on the off chance that you need your youngsters to be cheerful, solid, and by and by capable, to be a good example of satisfaction, wellbeing and moral duty.

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Does parenting a troublesome to you?

Child rearing does not always need to be a requesting work. There are approaches to deal with your children after reliably getting caution out. Here is a rundown of approachs that a man can use to help manage their every day issues and tensions while satisfying the children.

Share the undertakings of being a parent with your significant other. Try not to attempt to do everything at the same time. On the off chance that you and your significant other can figure out how to fill in as one then child rearing won’t be as troublesome. Your anxiety will descend when you share the assignments in taking care of the children.

Ordinarily we get stunned with numerous sporadic assignments that we confront. At the point when this happens, a man ought to be obliged to stop what they are doing and attempt to discover something to accomplish for a couple of minutes to get their psyche off of the situation. A man could go out for a stroll, read a book, or watch some TV to get their brain off of their situations. This will help you to refocus on your circumstance.

Try not to put off tomorrow what you can do today. Concerns have a propensity to develop in the event that you continue deferring them. Do what you can do today. In the event that you need to help your children with a school movement, then attempt to move today as opposed to tarrying till the finish of the week. At the point when the finish of the week comes, you will feel exeptional that you moved in this separating undertaking.

Figure out how to pace yourself. Try not to do excessively observing as you will get wore out. Child rearing is diligent work! A man can just do as such much in an individual day. Remain trained and don’t do everything at the same time. This will help you to oversee your anxiety.

Take a day to unwind. Having the day away from work to go to the shoreline or to go to the shopping center will help you to unwind. Give your watchman or better half take a risk to care of the children for part of the day.

Being a parent does not need to be that troublesome. Discovering approaches to adapt to your burdens will help you to appreciate child rearing and alluring of the children. On the off chance that you have tumult doing this, then look for the welfare of a specialist.

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How to be a teenager’s friend and to stay an authority for him.

Parents can be great friends to their child teenager, but friendship does not allow to do whatever he wants, and refuse to draw the limits. To say that you let teenager to do what he wants, because he is responsible for his life, that you trust him completely and there are no limits and arrangements – this is extreme. Parents are mature and should give the child not only relation, but also limits that would help to protect the child, because he still does not know the world as well as adults. And if friendship is good and communication is good and there also are limits in my opinion this is a very good model.

There are still parents who think that it is enough to feed, clothe and meet the cultural needs and the child must be grateful, happy and always with a smile. Parents are annoyed when children have their own views and they argue claiming that children still had not experienced anything, still do not work, do not earn, and have to keep quiet.

Actually there are many cases when the teen already has its own views and opinions, which do not necessarily coincide with the parents. In modern society, parents actually very often require a child’s obedience. But in reality first of all parents must to establish an emotional connection, and only then will be able to talk about some sort of discipline.  This means that parents should all the time be interested about the lives of their children, and this is not just a school achievement, academic excellence. School is only one side of child’s life. Very often the main complaint of teenagers is that they are interesting for their parents just as much they are interested in their studies. But in reality there are many other great areas of life: emotional status, relationships with friends, leisure.

Children have a need to discuss with their parents relationships with friends and hobbies, but parents sometimes depreciate such conversations. Of course, when the child is approaching to adolescence, the most of time  he spend not with parents but with his friends – this is a very normal developmental process necessary for the formation of a mature personality. Teenagers have to separate from their parents. But if is overlooked communication, teen step back, and then the parents say that a child closes in his room, interact with friends only, and they do not know what thinks their child. Parents begin to think that they are no longer an authority for teenager, but this is not true – parents will always be important for any age child.

Sometimes parents not at all easy find a way to the child, make a relationship and start to take interest in what the child is living, how he feels. Sometimes it is needed to wait right time and catch a moments. Questions to teenager should not be about how he is successful at mathematics, how much he improved his skills. Ask what he likes doing, what kind of music he is listening, what about he talks with friends, what is his mood, mean, show interest in the child’s inner world.

Some parents give their tasks in command form. Of course, such commandments definitely raise child tension. Since children are very different, some calmer, other active, they react very differently. So, some children to such commands respond obediently, others will listen but accumulate anger, which usually erupt in adolescence, thirds even do not respond to such commands of parents. In any case, we are accustomed that parents are superior to the children: they bid, and the child has to listen.

Of course, parents are responsible not only for the establishment of communication with the child, but also for the limits, which are very important, because when there are no limits, it is creating an unsafe environment. Limits teach children self-control.

Moralistic affects children in negative way. What is moralistic? Parents believe that in such way they convey values to children, teach what is right and what is wrong. Parents think it should work, children should suddenly somehow take over the values because parents moralize. But actually children are monitoring how parents themselves applied these values in their life.

Children really want to be good, they really have no intention to hurt, to punish parents, revenge, and somehow ruin their lives. Of course, over time, can accumulate anger and discontent, but even the most hostile teenager really wants to be good to his parents, but maybe he is still not all doing right way, not always is successful.

Why the child does lying? There may be many different reasons. A common cause – the child is afraid of punishment. Also a lie is very closely related to the compensatory need to raise child’s self-esteem. Sometimes a child does not trust himself that he needs to create a fictitious reality in order to be better, to feel more dignified.

Self-esteem is formed from the first days of a child’s life, so the first year is very important. It is wrong to assume that if the baby is fed, slept, everything is fine. The first year develops attachment to an adult. How much child will feel safe in this world, how much will trust in outside world and himself much depends on how adults will respond to his emotional needs. Accusations, moralistic, bothersome tips, instructions on what and how to do very negatively contributes to the child’s self-esteem.

Sometimes it is more important listen the child and trying to understand rather than to comfort and soothe. It is very important to talk to your child, only discussion of situations should not be focused on criticizing, wrong behavior, but to the attempt to understand the child, his position at the time when he did so, and in the search for what could have been done differently.

The child does not have to live imagining that nobody has consequences. Every action has consequences and it is important to learn this rule. Goal of consequences is not to punish the child, lead him to anger, bad emotions, that he would not repeat the behavior. We want to teach a child the right choice. The child needs to know that if he will do something there will be consequences, if he acts otherwise, the consequences will be others, so he is responsible to make a choice.

 

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Join the Ultimate Moms’ Summit for free
April 20, 2017
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I just found out another free online event. I received the newsletter from Tosha Schore from Your Partner in Parenting this morning, and she mentioned she will be one of the interviewees in this summit. Her topic is Parenting Boys Peacefully which I am quite interested in, as I have two boys now. After several years of parenting my eldest son, I realized that I need to understand boys better and I might need to parent him in a different way that I thought.

 

This Ultimate Moms’ Summit starts from 1 May 2017, and it is a 4 day event. There will be more than 40 expert speakers sharing their wisdom of being a mom, hence I think we will be able to learn and be inspired from these interviews.

 

I know I have joined quite a number of free online events lately, and spending too much time listening to the webinars or interviews. The Peak Work Performance Summit is another free online summit that is going on. I just have to pick those I am really interested in and have to let go those I might not know them well, though they might also be good to me. In this summit, I actually only know about Tosha Schore and Hunter Clarke-Fields from Hunter Yoga. I have been following some of Hunter’s yoga practice and I really like her talking about yoga, mindfulness and parenting as these are my interests as well. So, I guess I am just going to focus on listening to their interviews, and the rest I will just check in and see if their topics interest me. I might also check out Anya Manes who is going to talk about talking to children about sex. This is also a topic that parents will need to talk to the children.

 

Another reason I joined is that besides being able to listen to these live interviews, we can also access encore interviews from last year summit. I am interested in listening to Dr. Laura Markham from Aha!Parenting as she was taking about Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings. I am very interested in this topic now, as I am learning how to let my two elder children play together peacefully all the time, though most of the time they get along well with each other. I think I will surely get some good tips from Dr Laura’s interviews. Another encore presentation I would like to listen is from Patty Wipfler, from Hand in Hand Parenting. She also always offers useful tips for parenting. I might be listening to Kim West, from The Sleep Lady, as she talked about gentle methods to help your child get a good night’s sleep. My two younger children do not sleep well at night, especially the baby. Though I understand many babies can’t sleep very well at night, waking up every hour seems to be quite tiring for him and for me too. So I wish I will be able to learn some good techniques from her.

 

If you are interested to know more about this online event, check here: The Ultimate Moms’ Summit

 

 
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Parenting in rural and urban areas.

Why it is so hard to be parents? Of course, not all people would agree, some are really great parents, but I see a lot who looks like they are not born to be a parents. If we compare to the old days, we will see that the situation of modern parents is even amazing. We have diapers, washing machines; we have ready-made baby food, just open and feed kids.

We have a myriad of ways to engage a child – a variety of toys, some kind of equipment that the child is no longer worn on the hands, comfortable carriages, and baby carriers. Everything is made in order to raise children would be comfortable. There are classes for parents, books, everything is described in details – how and what to do. It would seem – just educate and wish for more children.

But absolutely typical situation where any young mother, sitting in the apartment with domestic appliances, lots of clothes, food and toys, at the moment when the man returns from work, feels like a workhorse, which cannot do anything and is absolutely exhausted, tired and helpless. It would seem, she was sitting at home, did nothing special. So, where from is her feeling?

One reason for this, how it would not seem strange is urbanization. In other words, it is life in big cities. The massive move to the cities began 200 years ago and continues. Urbanization is always accompanied by such phenomena as the demographic break down. Family’s structure changes. Rural family is almost always large family.  Cities family – in all countries, all cultures, almost without exception, unless rejecting some religious situations, moving to a model where is an average of two children.

This refers, of course, to the fact that to raise a child in the city is much more difficult than in the countryside. Rural people work is not separated from the main life. And the children of the village start to work with parents at very early age; they are doing something useful at home or in the field. And most importantly, they do not require special care. They can practically all the time to be close to their parents, who do not need to break their core business for to care about the child. Parents can continue to care for animals, work in the garden, and the children are somewhere near them. Children in rural family are more the plus, additional working hands, than the problem. And because of children you do not need to radically change the way of life.

Situation in the city is changing. Having a child in the city means to supervise him, to engage with him. If you have children in the city, one of family member will have to completely change his lifestyle:  either to leave a job, change your routine and engage the child or hire a babysitter. The child cannot somewhere near you to engage in his own affairs and play when you are working in the office, bank, shop or somewhere else.

Mother no longer be working family member, her career breaks, hence this not encourage to have children. Woman experiencing strong stress, since with the child, she has radically change her lifestyle. If we look at the woman in rural culture, the birth of a child there nothing changes. Communication, social circle, spending time practically unchanged. If we look at the modern city woman – successful, educated, then after getting child, her life changed completely. If you previously have been working, some sort of tasks, projects, purposeful and attractive life, socializing with friends, cultured leisure, with the birth of a child, the woman suddenly gets from all that isolated, locked between four walls, doomed for easy, but very repetitive work: changing diapers, feeding, etc.

This sudden change of lifestyle in itself is a stress factor, even if a woman loves a child, even if she feels the pleasure of supervision. We know that any change in life, even if it is positive, even if you have long dreamed of it – its stress. Thus, the risk of emotional exhaustion increases.

The more life was active, the more interesting, the higher and the stress. Maybe to change the tedious sitting at office to the child care, will not be so critical. And if you had creative work, live communication with people, then to live between four walls – it’s probably the strongest stress, regardless of any love for the child and maternal feelings. Soon the mother gets boredom, will be overwhelmed by the desire to come back to life, but a child is not ready still to stay without mother.

Another thing that begins with stress to the mother is that modern women have very little experience in communicating with children. In rural areas are large families, people closely interacting with neighbors. While communicating circle in the cities may be sufficiently narrow. People are closed in their shells living in urban areas. Apart colleagues at work, we can survive for weeks, saying anything to anyone, even without saying “hi” to our neighbors, without exchanging a few words.

In rural areas, it is impossible as everywhere you meet people that you know. Kids are playing together, their age is very diverse, they go from yard to yard, all are mixed, and children from different families interact with each other. Girls have gained immense experience in communication with children – in different situations, with different characters, different ages. This experience is accumulated before young woman give a birth to her own child.

In the urban culture, if a woman herself was the only child in the family, she is faced with a typical situation, when she gave birth at the age of 30 years and her child is generally the first baby in her life, which she took in her arms. Accordingly, her helplessness, confusion and losing herself increases hundredfold.

In short, there are a lot of purely objective factors relating to the conditions under which we live, with a civilization – and this in itself constitutes a sufficiently strong stress for parents.

 

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Monitor what you say to your children.

It is making considerable damage to the bringing up the children often heard uttered phrases of parents. Never compare one child with other one saying that one of them is better, smarter and so on. It is one of the most effective ways to set at variance brothers and sisters very often used by parents. But such comparisons offend children, and comparisons with sisters and brothers are twice as severe. They provoke competition and jealousy.  Nothing good cannot be achieved with these words.

Regular responsibility overthrow to spouse is a gradual, but inexorable loss of authority in the eyes of a child. If child ask you, never send him to your spouse. Where there is no authority, there cannot be any talk about obedience and respect. And never hurry up your child saying that if he will not hurry, you will leave him at home. This phrase sounds everywhere – at home, in shops, on the streets. Using the fear of children to being left at home is not only cruel, but also stupid, because very soon the child will understand that it is simply a lie.

Often parents say that if child will behave badly, the witch or bugaboo or cop will take out him. The world of child’s irrational fears is so great that the adding the policemen, doctors or other fictional or absolutely real thing is time to qualify as violence against the child’s psyche.

You and lazy, ignoramus and so on… It is absolutely wrong to believe that the insult and humiliation will force a child to prove that he is better. It is far more likely that the child will come to terms with the labels and will behave exactly as it programmed by parents.

We have no money for your toys, books, chocolates… It would seem, saying that there is no money is understandable and simple reason, which can lead to refusal to buy something. However, the child hears this phrase and makes his own conclusions. First, he starts to think that money is the most important thing in life, you can buy absolutely everything if you have money, and lack of money cause many problems. Second, the child begins to assess their parental authority by family wealth.

Give him your toy, you are older… Toys are child’s personal belongings and parents simply do not have the right to command to give them to someone else. Doing this parents demonstrate their power and lack of rights of the child. The child himself can dispose of his toys, exchange them with others, play himself or lend. Independence is not just being able to eat by yourself or to tie the shoes, but also the right to make decisions. Education of self-sufficiency begins from earliest childhood.

Do not worry, it’s all nonsense… What adults seem as nonsense and trivia, for children may seem like a very serious problem. And when a child, told of his trouble, receives that it is nothing important, he cannot understand why his problems parents see as just trifles. And further all is simple – the next time child will not come to his parents when he gets problems, both with serious problems and with childish and fancied.

 

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Why Are Teenage Pregnancy Common Nowadays?

When you go around the city, you can see a lot of teenagers carrying their babies with them. They could be 16, 17, or 18 to 19 years old.

Teenage pregnancy is not anymore a surprise to us. It is more likely to be said as an unintended pregnancy at an early age. It is now usual and common to our community. Why is this happening? What causes teenage pregnancy?

  • Absent of parents. Here in our place, most teenage parents who have been interviewed said that they are not with their parents. Some say that their parents are working abroad or they are in the province. Is it really a cause of teenage pregnancy? It’s a big YES! Why? Because no one is there to guide or advise them when they are in a relationship. In teenagers life, it is very important for the parents to always with their children because that was a crucial stage of an individual. There are lots of changes that is happening to a child when becoming a Lady. When it comes to sexual activities, parents should talk to them and share about the disadvantages of it at their age.
  • Influence of friends. Today, many teenagers let their friends take control of their decisions. Some friends influence an individual to have sex even if they do not understand the consequences of their actions. That is why it is the very advice of every parent to their children that they need to be careful of whom to be with when they are outside the house.
  • Lack of knowledge. If a teenager doesn’t have any idea about sex, they are often the victim of teenage pregnancy. Teens may easily get curious about romance that they are watching on televisions or social media.
  • Rape. Some men sexually abuse women, especially teenagers. According to studies, most teenagers who are being raped got pregnant.

There are many causes of teenage pregnancy aside from these. Those listed above are the common cause.

 

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Join No Spank Challenge to have Peaceful Homes & Classrooms
April 13, 2017
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Do you spank your children? Would you like to learn how to teach and guide your children by no spanking, punishment and even yelling?

 

30 April is Internationl SpankOut Day. It is a day to bring awareness to everyone where we need to stop physically punish our children and start guiding them with non-violent alternatives. Many parenting websites or blogs share resources, tools and techniques on the gentle parenting discipline methods, so parents or caregivers will get to learn and stop physically punishing the children.

 

Amy Bryant from Parenting Beyond Punishment has been having this No Spank Challenge for 4 years. This year, the 4th annual challenge focuses on “Peaceful Homes & Classrooms“. It provides great information not only for parents, but for educators. This online event is usually held in April, and it is free. It is a three week program, which is from 10 to 28 April 2017. There are webinars, teleconferences, live Q&A, articles for us to access and learn from the parenting experts. You might already knew some of the event contributors: Amy Bryant, Lori Petro, Tosha Schore, Robbyn Peters Bennett, Sheena Hill and many more.

 

We do not only learn to information about stopping spanking or physical punishing the kids from this event, but we also learn how to teach and guide our kids better, with more effective ways and without yelling. There are topics such as “How to get kids to listen without yelling“, “Parenting from our center“, “Dealing with our own triggers“, “Games to teach emotional regulation“, “How to set limits and be heard” really catch my attention. I am not so worried about spanking, as I never spank or hit my children, but I do yell, scold, get angry with them and I am constantly learning how to guide them with positive or attachment parenting methods, which is I would really love to have a peaceful and joyful home. How nice if everyone in the family is happy working and hanging out together at home? I understand this “ideal” condition does not come from our kids. I cannot expect my kids to listen to me all the time, to do what I request them to do or even do more than I expected. I need to expect myself to make a change, to bring harmony to the family, to build better connection with the kids. First of all, I need to learn how to regulate my own emotion before I can teach my kids to regulate theirs.

 

I am sure it will be a very busy month, as there are so many great information floating around for this event. I will need to allocate time to read the articles and watch the webinars, but still spend good time with my kids. Sometimes I have spent too much time online learning these parenting tips and techniques, but I did not really apply them in real life, as I still get angry and yell at my kids sometimes.

 

If you are interested in this event, check it out here: Peaceful Homes & Classrooms (No Spank Challenge)

 

 
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What we should never say to children.

Conversations with children, even if it’s the simplest playful chatter, are an easy way to nurture their growth and your relationship with them. In fact, the studies showed that the number of words a child hears in the first few years of his life, has a direct influence on his language skills and even for the intelligence quotient.

The first words that children hear from our lips tend to be soft and beautiful. However, with an offspring growth, problems associated with their upbringing, become increasingly difficult to deal with. It happens that suddenly find ourselves with children speaking even too much: we constantly dictate, correct them, ask, encourage and help. Occasionally to talk less it means to talk more. Here are four phrases, which you should never say to your children – no matter what their age is. Of course, this is not a dogma; but these tips can help you grow inspiring relationships with your children.

Never request for quickly apology! Forced apology is not at all an apology. It does not help anyone to feel better. How to behave in such a situation? Yes, if your child hurt someone quite unintentionally, you really should teach him to apologize immediately. Such education did not receive a negative response. But what if he hurt someone intentionally? Typically, we are forcing children to apologize, because we want them to be responsible, aware that behaved not correctly, and would correct his mistake and, ultimately, never repeat such mistake. However, it is better not artificially force the child to apologize, but ask him to explain what he had done improperly. Explain him how his behavior made to feel other person and encourage him to submit proposals how the next time he could do differently. Such measures will change child’s behavior in the future and will allow the disadvantaged to feel better.

Never say “my naughty” or “my little imp”. Do not make categorical conclusions about the character of your children – especially when they are near. Rather categorically evaluate their behavior. It is true ones or not, better not to glue labels for children. Specific labeling for the people prevent them from changes, in addition, it may be that because of them they will be more likely to follow the various stereotypes.

Never say any lie to your child. When you are a parent, surely you learn to lie. It would be difficult to find parents who have not threatened their children to just leave them in the playground, if they are not going to get in a car and do not go home. But actually you would never leave them there, even if seeking to threaten and encouraging them faster to run into the car, in fact drove a couple of centimeters. If your claim that you are telling to your children, is not true, do not say it. You do not want to sacrifice your child’s confidence in you, in exchange for its proper behavior.

Never say – you are the best…, you are the most… Do not praise them, using the words of the highest degree. If you praise each child’s progress detail, may come a day when a life will ruin nurtured perfectionism, and you will not be near to protect your child.  Children should not think that to be not the best in any field is a pathetic failure – in fact no one is perfect and the best in every activity.

It is not enough just to talk to children when they grow up. We need to learn to speak properly. Educating the children, we have to leave a space for them that they could change their behavior and properties.

 

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New technology and children’s leisure time.

Leisure time when a child is watching television or even playing various computer games is modern parenting problem that is becoming more and more relevant. Often the TV or the computer becomes a kind of magic wand for young parents who have difficulty to find a time for their offspring. When the baby shows whims, refuses to eat or take medication, it’s easy to lure him by bright pictures and adult toys. Live games, fairy tales now are changed by the short movies for the little kids and games in the smart phones. Increasingly, instead of a fairy tale before bedtime parents simply turns on the child movie.

On the one hand, we cannot escape nowhere of the progress. Our children come into this world of technology that is becoming increasingly complex in coming years. Thus, the contact with technology is inevitable. And there are indeed valuable gadgets for the nurture of younger. Use them or not – choose the parents, as it is part of modern life. Smart phones have become an integral part of our work and the rest, the most important part of mediators in communication. And children from birth absorb to themselves such lifestyle.

However, it is important to have a sense of proportion. It is easy to miss the moment when the electronics is becoming a dominant theme in communication between parents and children. And it is very easy to “turn off” the child, turning on an ordinary movie or stop paying attention to his endless “why” by letting him to sit at the computer.

The child is completely attracted by changing vivid images and amazing sounds. Kid becomes “convenient”, and the parents are engaged in their own affairs. It is a very great temptation. However, in such a situation the child’s contact with parents is rapidly run out. There is a risk completely losing touch with the child.

Of course, young children are very mobile; they need a rapid change of activity. As a result, they are more prone to games with mom and dad. Meanwhile, children over the age of 3, can watch movies for hours, completely falling out of reality. Even more – turning off the TV can cause the big hysteria. It is a serious challenge for the kid. The closest and dearest person suddenly takes away of him the most interesting toy. He sees it as a betrayal. There comes an anger, frustration, a sense of injustice, a real grief – how all this should survive your child? He will require to “restore justice” in every way possible.

However, we create problems ourselves. It is natural that if the TV occupies part of everyday adult’s life, and the child will absorb this lifestyle. Children suffer more clearly the influence of television; they are actively growing and become familiar with the world, quickly absorbing everything that surrounds them. There is no criticism and selection of gotten information; it begins to take shape around 9-11 years of age. Therefore, it is important to monitor a TV broadcast material content and watching time. It could be useful to think about the whole family behaviors, traditions and rituals. All this in the future will unfold as an integral part of the child’s way of life.

 

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