Available Balance
I cried for days when I found out who betrayed me

When a word broke out that I was cheating on my newlywed husband while being away on a season job, my father started to doubt somebody is making up those worms and hooking them up for a reason that can’t be anything but private.


In the first case when I ruined my graduation, he said nothing but my dear daughter please considers cleaning yourself on your own, you are a big girl. I said ok, no problem, Muge is going to do it. A piece of cake.


When the second case emerged, he was very ashamed and very angry and also relieved when finding out it was not me shoplifting.


He was agitated with my cousin’s attributes to me because he knew me as nothing less but always ready to help. I am not the tidiest or smart, or very handy person in the world, but I can learn. So my dad was little nervous.


But, now when he heard again these chit-chats and lies, he knew something’s not right.
My poor husband was too in distress and in a very bad condition to call me and talk reasonably. He called but he sounded very strange and incomprehensible.


So, my father called me and said, my daughter, this is not something normal. We should talk, I will come. I said please don’t I will solve it, my husband will be okay.


But it was not ok enough for my dad, he took some things they thought I would love to have, some favorite food and came to see me. So, we sat down and he asked me if somebody hate me in person. I had no idea what he was talking about. I thought my father in his late years started to suffer from the soap opera syndrome.


But, he was persistent. My husband came to visit me, he was visibly drunk and in no condition to monitor our conversation. So, my father- being the most stable person around that table – said to us to call all people we know to be our personal closest friends and see if somebody is cooking it against us.


He said this is not about you being popular, neither of us from the rich family, no microscope or spot light at us – it has to be something personal.


After the short time, my husband found out who was doing this, my best friend forever. The Arsonist.


I was good in keeping friends with boys, but I was never in their company to know what they are talking. My husband found out.


And he was not lying or exaggerating, my husband is not a jealous person and he knew from the time we were kids that I love my best friend as a brother.


It was such a huge disappointment for me. I cried for days without end.
You have to understand, this was my best friend forever, I believe in him, I put my trust in this person, I confide my problems to him.
All that time he was there for me, we were talking more than anybody, I never doubted he could be the one to do that.


Instead to help me and to support me, like it should be with friends, like I done to him, he decided to put my life on an arson.


He was doing that and he was enjoying it.


And now the same person moved in our building. I saw his eyes. He still hates me.

Almost drunk to death over a brutal gossip

During my stay at the cousin’s home, I grew increasingly depressed and I didn’t talk much to anybody in the family. I was only thinking of my beloved and how much I miss him. It was hard for me to reconsider that maybe in the end we will not end up together.
But, when I came back home – liberated and happy to see everything doing well – I found my beloved in a great mood and my problem solved.
Soon the whole thing around my alleged ill shoplifting was lifted from my chest and a shop owner found out it was his own juvenile daughter taking things from the storage and not his workers.
That shop owner never came back to me ( or to any girl he accused of theft) to apologize.

This problem was not only for me, it was shame of the entire family. Because, if your child shoplifts in search for things there are two things for blame. A poor upbringing that causes my mother sleepless nights, and no money which again ashamed my father. The final nail to my grave was alleged mental illness, that I shoplift out of illness. And that is just wrong!
I was very happy to found out that everything is solved and that I can keep the pace with my plans and life.
Of course, my wedding didn’t go all smooth and nice, things were follow-on g me. But, it is a very sad story, and I want to take it out from this post. It is too specific.
So, after all that wedding thing and everything was smooth and wonderful, we were advised to see if we can financially sustain our family as we were so young.
For me the choice was obvious, I had to find some job during a season out of my time and return with a nice sum of money. My darling was of teh same plan, so we seek jobs that will give the best yield outside of our residence.
The luck was of that kind that we get jobs in different places, and it was hard and tried to visit each other, so we both come to the agreement to maintain our marriage for a few short months on distance, we have teh whole life to spend together.
Everything that could go wrong – went wrong, that summer was a hell both for me and for him.
I remember sitting on the ground for hours outside my room not to wake my tired room mates, just to comfort my newlywed husband who was miles away. I never missed somebody so much.
Then again talk started to walk, my husband started to listen to same ugly gossips which almost before ruined our wedding day – that I have a lover and that I am going to do with him. Going out and spending money instead of saving for the family, and that I married him for a joke, I never loved him, I am not serious, people see me on benches in romantically poses…
If I wanted to ‘live’ I would not get married!
But, my newlywed husband took it for real, he drunk himself almost to the death.

My mother in law big mouth are sometimes of great use

Once your image is under the bridge, sorry to say this, hard will be to save it once again. My high school troubles as I was saying before was prolonged on much of my adult life.
My first job got burnt to dust by Mr. Arsonist – my ex-best friend forever, my childhood friend – he sold a story that made a lot of rounds that I am the petty shoplifter. Even so, I have to note this very serious, I never stole one single thing in my life.


The shop owner where I got my first job for pay right after last day in high school had something stolen from the shop and decided to find whoever done it by any cost. Mr. Arsonist ( it is not his name, I will call it that way) said some really nasty and unnecessary things and that gossip make its way to my ex-boss who then gallantly let me know that I am no longer needed. He didn’t even check or make the question to me if I am the one to blame. I was accused of the shoplifting without one single evidence.


After that, I was sent by my parents to my cousins to work, but I was so depressed and down that, I was not able to perform any job correctly. My cousin asked my father to see me and to talk to me about me being lazy and without interest. It was yet another stroke to my person, without any reason, I was trying hard if that man couldn’t see that I am in the emotional state which I was in, it was clearly only his fault. I was also doing a job in his business for free, so complaining about me being lazy was a hit under the belt.


I was planning to get married soon after my high school is over and to make a family of my own. There was no problem before, but after that fake shoplifting episode, it was put on a trail. It was like my whole life was collapsing into one big black hole.
During my stay at my cousin’s place my mother in law refused to believe that I stole anything. She knew me and she was not lightly to believe that future mother of her grandchildren is sick in the head to go shoplifting just like that.


So, one day she had it enough and go asking that shop owner where I worked what was stolen and how come I am not wearing any of it, but when she found out that he has no evidence against me, and that all was pure hearsay, she came back home, and make sure everybody knew how a shop owner treated me bad and low.


The truth soon came to an obvious end, somebody else was taking things from the shop and it was nobody from the workers but a shop owner’s daughter.
She was secretly going inside of storage with her friends and taking things, but that problem was hushed down because at the time she was only 13.


My plans for future were improved and everything went by the plan, but not for so long.

Accused of shoplifting without any evidence

Right after I was accused of the shoplifting in the shop I got my first job right after my late graduation, my father was so disturbed and ashamed that he sent me away to the close relative family who had their own family business. I should help with their business and do my best to buy my credibility back. But, in the way, it turned out I was too disappointed in my past failures and completely incapable doing any of the jobs at hand right.


So, my cousin soon addressed my father that he should come there and have a serious conversation with me because I was not very obligated and dedicated to the jobs. It was already hard for me to recuperate from my own personal disappointment that I had to deal with the disturbed father. my mother decided to stay out of that because all she will come out with was a lot of yelling. You have to understand that my dear parents are not yelling people and that is the last thing they will do to any of us. take in great consideration I am the youngest of their children and teh only girl in their family.


So, my mother kept herself busy at home hoping the whole thing will soon be solved and all that misfortune will be soon lifted away.


The shop owner was very verbal about his disappointment in me and he frequently mentioned the whole incident with every vivid detail to everybody he knew. I definitely lost a lot to my own credibility. I heard of elderly people he often mentioned my upbringing and how unfortunate is that today’s kids have so little respect for honest work and personal belongings. It was completely unnecessary because besides the gossips and bad stories that were making rounds nothing else was proven against me. Still, I had no chance to defend myself.


my father came and we had a long and tired conversation about my future and well-being. He refused to accept the fact that my whole future will be based on bringing up and taking care of my own family. My parents were already introduced to my future plans and they never defend me anything about that. but, now when this problem came to notice they were worried and they questioned it.


During my stay with my cousin’s family, some other things happen. my beloved future husband to be ( we were already engaged by then) was still staying with his parents in our town and we talked often but he never mentioned things that were happening around him. His own father had a thing or two to say about him being engaged to a shoplifting little thief. It hurt so much. his mother ( and my mother in law) had another opinion.


She heard what I supposedly stole and she refused to believe that. I didn’t came out to her as a girl who is sick to steal things either I was I apparent need to do it. She is also a smart t lady and she knew my taste and it was in no collaboration with my interest or style. She frankly said to her husband everything is a big lie.

How things turn bad and sour for me at start

The jealousy tantrum of a sick mind destroyed my childhood friendship and mistake to blame was not on me, I had nothing to do with anything.
I always thought that enemy lies somewhere away, that a people who will try to hurt you are the ones who don’t know you and who have nothing with you.
I always thought I will be able to have a childhood friendship for life and that my best friend forever is that, forever.


I always thought I would be able to have an easy life because I did everything right – my parents, my brothers, my friends, school, and teachers – I never doubt it that one sick mind could make my existence so complicated and a person so unwanted.


The person who set m e up with all this trouble was my best friend forever from my childhood days. We went to the high school together and then everything went wrong.


But his torture to me did not stop that point. He continued his bad deeds to me and to my family for many years to follow after that. As we live in the same town it was very easy for him to make some really bad talks about me and the gossip ruined my reputation.


To endure all that in the end of my high school was an easy thing. That were all unfortunate teen dreams ruined and all that feelings were quite childish. It was childish of me to expect that all people around me are here to help each other. This person was so incomplete and insecure that he ultimately ended up pouring all his failures of life on my own back. I even thought of blaming myself or being so childishly emotional over it and blaming myself for not being thoughtful about his needs.


But his needs were selfish and he ruined the best friendship he ever hoped to have over some unimportant t things. I know he was in love with that girl but why putting so much stress on me over absolutely nothing but fleeting romance.


I remember getting my first job in one local shop over summer. It was almost immediately after I graduated. I graduated late because I had to put down additional exams because I failed to complete my tests in time over one school hour I spent locked away in a school’s toilet. He was the one who jammed the door.


So, I got this great shiny job and I bragged about it to my friends. All of them went to the graduation travel but for me, but all of them were congratulating me for my job and my new salary y. It was a big thing for a girl who just jumped into the world of adults. I had my own money and my parents were so proud of me. my father couldn’t stop talking about his girl being independent.


Then talks started to roll around and rocks started to fall. S some things went missing from that shop and that measly little arsonist put the word out that I like to take things and that I shoplifted things before. I lost my job.

How my best friend became my worst nightmare

Maybe I failed to explain completely how a normal, average person can deserve such a hatred behavior, atrocities and a constant provocation led to nothing but much misery.
I maybe explain how I end up in this wild argument – it was not even an argument, I never had a chance to argue about it – and how all finally settle down.


It took a great deal of the time, and even now some people mention that and ask me dumb questions which are far from the truth.


My best friend forever was a boy which was actually glued to me all the way back while we were kids. These child friendships were supposed to last forever. We should have been friends for life, but instead, he turned against me because I did something not-intentionally and without even knowing it.


My family is almost all boy children so my natural choice for any friendship was a boy, of course. I was always having this basic problem to connect with the girls because I was surrounded by the older brothers and the cousins who were also mainly boys.


It was completely okay for me to be in a company of a boy, so we even went to highschool together, and I thought we were having each other backs in any situation.


On my own unfortunate expectations, I was the only believing in that sort of the arrangement.
I had my mind set for my boyfriend ages ago before me married, but my best friend had in mind one girl and I had no idea about it.


Soon I met her and I introduced her to my beloved cousins, who was, in my opinion, the nicest guy who ever lived.


Of course, they fit perfectly together and the girl said she is after him and madly in love. In fact, I believe it was a love at the first sight.


But, my best friend didn’t want to let it slide just like that. He was needless to say terribly angry on me and much later I realize how bad things went in that mind.


I never felt a true heartache in my life, I know how hard it is to be in bad mood and lonely when your beloved is away, but I never suffered about somebody who is not interested in me. But, it is my situation and probably with time I would let it go and everything would be fine for me.


But, not this guy. Soon after that, my homework would disappear, I ended up locked in a toilet for a final exam of one important topic, I had to go extra mile for some tests while my peers went to the graduation travel and even my ID mysteriously disappeared.


I never thought it could be him because I was always standing by his side and I was always there when he had a bad day. I was incapable thinking it was him all the way. He even sent me pictures and snaps from their graduation travel and I cried above them feeling so guilty that I can participate because of my failed subject and my lost ID.
I couldn’t believe I was so stupid.

My nemesis, ex best friend forever moves in our building

I already told you before how much I am in the disliking in some weird and dark personalities who like to bring the fire and then let the whole village burns. So that is happening right now and I am for certain that war is still not over. I see battle signs in near future.

And I am sure this time also nobody will listen to me and the things will happen. No this is not an introduction to some famous novel, it is actual people moving in in my actual neighborhood just one apartment away.

I was blessed with the great neighbors till now, I wish to keep that situation because it fits me and my family, I don’t like the old grudges making rounds on me again.

Now, this personality I am talking about is one of those old grudges, and I was hoping that it was over. But, it is not. Not only that old bad feelings came around, also a talk of a talk came around. I heard old talking again, and one of my closest friends actually turn me her back for that.

This person who moved in with his family ( yes, it is a man), is my ex-best friend forever. the one I thought it is my best friend forever, but I was too stupid and self-absorbed to notice how bad ( and ultimately mad) he is. I even went into the quarrels with the various people to prove them wrong, how nice he is.

I think in the end when he ruined it and when I finally found out, he thought I am a pathetic pile of wasted space and the human genome. It was terrible. I get this close to losing all my friends and I almost lost my husband.

I needed months to recuperate from that, and I still have that chilling feeling when I remember what happened and all the talk.

Because when talk starts to walk, you have so little of your defense to use. It is like you is battling with the waterfall, it keeps on coming and falling on your head.

And it never goes away, it keeps on repeating, because people never forget. I mean some of them understood that this person is an ultimate evil – he hates me till the underworld and back – so they backed me up and come back to me and talk. But some, ugh, I just can hear them gossiping late evening about it over and over again.

Some people just can’t believe the is something called a true love. Because, it is so impossible for them that two can love each other, and cherish each other even if they are very much different and even if they are some days separated.

My husband and I are two very different individuals and we used to be separated due to his job, he was away from home sometimes. And before children, I was also helping ng my family and some kin outside of our town.

So, this personality, this disgusting creature – forgive me I have no other words to describe him – he is now in here. He is my neighbor.

One who brings marshmallows to an arson

Do you know what I really hate above everything, what is the worst personality characteristic that I can’t stand? I am talking the people related, of course. Those miscellaneous weird personalities who come out of nowhere, practically fall down on us out of a blue, who always come somewhere with their so called the best intentions, start a fire and then watch, not the house, but the whole village burns. That is a real hard thing to stand and to watch for me because I was a victim of the same bad conduct so many times in my past. It was not only my personal life at the burning stake but also my professional life and relationships with my various friends.


Because when somebody starts something and then blissfully runs away, it is an equal to the treason for me. And the ones who bring the marshmallows to an arson ( I think this is a proper term for that in English, correct me if I am wrong!) are worst of their kind.


the hat is a kind of a people who will obnoxiously pin every single flaky or in perfect detail on you, trying to feel where a person is the weakest. And when they find it, they will wickedly enjoy in it. Like it is some sort of a dark deformed hobby. I can’t comprehend a person who would make a living of hating on somebody online so much and so pervasive that it will go to the extent of an absolute chase.


There is a certain glitch in our brains that says we done it too much, but to pass a limit of a good taste and to be so freaky cold and calculated in your own demise, it is troubling.
I can’t say it is crazy, because I am no expert and I have no doctor certificate.
But, some people can work around that and live with it, with no trace of shame of feeling.
I am certainly not going to detailed every single element of their psyche, but for surely that those personalities can’t be normal.


I will always put a bonus to a good gossip if it is funny and well said, but I will never take it too seriously or chase the deadbeat for months.
How can those people sleep?


I already said I was a victim of one pay who even in my high school. Suddenly everything was going wrong for me and even my documents went missing.
my best friend started hating on me and I was too self-absorbed and ridiculous at that time of my age to actually notice any of this.


I really try to sound smart for others, but in reality, I guess I am not so sharp. I notice things when they are gone, and the problems when they can’t be solved anymore.
I am in a great admiring of a people who have the highest intelligence the is for a human being but use it to pluck other people’s nerves out. Because I am so happy it is not me. That is for sure some sort of a mutation in at their birth chart.

How much I enjoy writing online

I was enjoying to write on the online pages when I found out how much time it takes me away to make a proper decent article on anything.
At the very start, any topic I chose was quite a hard issue for me, because I didn’t know how to put everything in action.
There was also that little thing called typing mistake and grammatical error, and I was filled top full of them.
Then I asked some writers online to give me a hand and h help me to find a way to write better and faster.
On my surprise, I found d out the is a way to shape acceptable content even if you are not the expert writer and if you don’t have an impeccable style.
Better yet, I found out there are numerous pages to help you with the grammatical errors which I was battling after each second word, but also there are tools and applications to help you put your material together and correct all your mistakes.
Well, not all.
That is not possible, but those applications certainly make everything easier.
I never defended myself of being low performing writer, I never pretended to know more than I know. But, I know one thing. On an every page where I write I made it clear who I am, what is my education and what is my knowledge of English and how I got it. I never met one single administrator who showed me anything but kindness.
It was so nice and reassuring to find people liking my effort, no matter how clumsy it was and how my language most of the time didn’t make any sense whatsoever, but they were wonderfully supportive and it was a true bliss to find myself in something like online writing.
Then it was a time when I had a job that took me over, and later I had other obligations that were in a way of my writing.
I didn’t write much but I educated myself.
I knew that nobody will make that extra step for me, and even if I still suffer mountain of mistakes and even now I need help to shape my sentences to sound better – it doesn’t matter – I still feel that I made a huge progress in the direction where I want to go.
As a not-native writer, I had a problem and I still do, so for that reason, I am using all the help I can get- either from my friends and family, or online courses, or the application. But, in everything I do this writing job, I make it sure to write it properly. Sometimes it takes me a day, sometimes it Takes me hours – but I am definitely sure I will produce a good job.
Recently I decided not to write short posts because some expert writers say that 300-word post is nothing but a news article for them, so I orientate to longer posts, at least 500 words.
It takes me a lot of time, and a lot of effort and I am desperate with some topics.
If I am making anything niche oriented, it is a killer post, it drains my energy horrendously, it takes me to read magazines and put words and sentences in meanings…
It is really a huge job.

Get in shape in your garden this summer
April 22, 2017

Whilst gardening is a common thing of an effective work to grow lovely roses and reap tasty vegetables, a few gardeners have ever taken into consideration the vast exercise they make in garden can get positive results for health.
You could just imagine how gardening could probably supply tons of exercising same as running outdoors. Just imagine on all of the diverse aspects of making ready a soil. There are holes to be dug, bags and pots to be carried, and weeds to be pulled. Doing all of this stuff assist in working out almost every muscle on your body.


One of my friends is a fanatic about running outdoors. Nearly each time I come around her residence, I surely interrupting some activity. I never in no way enjoyed running outdoors, although, it appears that the consistent pressure running just puts a strain on my body and it is producing wrong effects. However, at the same time as she is captivated by running, I am captivated with idea of gardening. I could work outside enhancing my garden every day instead doing some heavy exercising. I believe gardening is a good hobby.

It is recommended that before you go out into your garden, you should always stretch out. Even if your aim isn’t to exercise and get the workout, it’s nonetheless an excellent concept. Often the gardeners spend lengthy periods of time hunched over or bent over. This may be bad if a person has some spinal condition again. So best stretch out, also it is recommended that you must continually take common breaks if you’re spending lengthy amounts of time in these positions.

Weeding and pruning are some of the nice workout routines a gardener can get. With the regular crouching and standing, the legs get an exquisite exercise. If your weeds are particularly resistant, your fingers will become specially toned simply from the effort required to dispose of them from the ground. In the case you plan on taking the complete workout plan it.

One of the most apparent methods to get the workout is inside the transporting and lifting of bags and pots. Between the garden and your storage, you will move the bags multiple times (shop, in your car, on your lawn). Consider to raise these bags with your legs and not your lower back, because transporting bags and pots can provide you with a reasonably large workout.


Mowing your grass can also be a wonderful workout, because simply the act of pushing it through the grass will be bigger workout than going to the gym club for a few hours. It could enhance your coronary heart’s health.

In case you plan on the use gardening as a way to get in form or lose a weight, you can rarely do wrong. S imply be sure to stretch out, drink plenty of water, and apply the sunblock. As long as you take steps to save you of the few poor consequences such as pulled muscle tissue, dehydration, and sunburn, I think you’ll have a nice time and grow to be being a more fit due to it.