The Impact of Self Created False Memories

I have dealt with ‘False Memory’ syndrome in previous articles.   Basically, this is a fabrication, often planted in the mind of the patient by a psycho-therapist, or internally developed by the person him/herself.

Often, the memory is created to get attention.   The person feels that their parents, their friends, society, is not paying them enough attention and wants to do something to gain the spotlight.

When a child feels neglected, when there are other siblings who catch the eye,  sometimes develops an attention getting device.  It may be self-harm, it maybe self-destructive behaviour.  From promiscuity to stealing, from getting into trouble to feigning disease or affliction, getting attention is the goal.

As the child becomes a young adult, unable to manage the feelings of neglect, they may ‘act out’ in a peculiar manner.   They may claim to have been abused as a child, raped by some friend or stranger, and ‘spring’ this on their family.

The parents don’t recall anything.   “That’s because you never paid attention to ME!”  retaliates the subject.

The parents try to recall anything ‘strange’ about the subject as a child, and can not.  This ‘confirms’ the fact that s/he was Neglected.

Any parent will tell you that they can ‘tell’ that ‘something is wrong’ by a child’s posture.    They know ‘something happened’ when the child is quiet or withdrawn, or simply gives off the ‘vibration’ of distress.

Even those who might not consider themselves especially good parents, or those who share custody and don’t have the child every day, will see it.

Further, children who ‘can’t talk’ to their parents will find an adult.  A teacher, a neighbour, a relative, will become the de facto parent and if ‘something happens’ that person will notice.

When a young adult ‘suddenly’ confronts the parents with some abuse that happened ten years ago, (or more) the questionable nature of the report needs to be kept in the front of the mind, and quiet focused questions need to occur.

When the event is a fabrication, the subject will become angry, “You didn’t care about me then….why care about me now!”

On occasion the subject will become ‘suicidal’ and be placed in an institution.  This is not a punishment for the subject.  This is a confirmation.

If the subject can receive competent psychiatric care at that point, there may be a break through.  If the subject does not, if the therapist is persuaded by the subject that the event happened, it will simply become more cemented in the mind of the subject, growing into a true False Memory instead of an attention getting ‘tantrum’.

Many frail egos, put into positions where they do not feel they can be successful will often look for some excuse as to why they can not succeed.   Recently, with all the ‘sudden adult memories of childhood abuse’ floating around, it becomes a good ‘excuse’.

It is not unusual that the subject in this kind of situation may have excellent relations with others, be a normal person, but with the family be that child who felt neglected, and so, concoct an event which can be used to punish the parents.

True victims of abuse show signs immediately.     Parents will question and although the child might be ‘afraid’ to talk or not have the words, the event throws up a ‘flag’.    Those who are given false memories later in life,  become the 34 year old who was abused as a child.   They will always put the False Memory first so as not to forget it.

Those who invent a traumatic event for particular use behave normally with their friends and others, so that no one outside of the target group will know ‘something happened’.

Reality is this, if you were bitten by a dog as a child and are afraid of dogs as an adult, this is obvious.    A person who invents being bitten by a dog so as to avoid visiting someone who has a dog, will not manifest the fear in every day life.

Often, in speaking to a person who claims to have been abused as a child they will tell you how their parents never noticed them.  They will not give the ‘facts’ of the abuse.   They can not and will not tell you what happened, but continue to repeat the fact that their parents did not notice.

The centre of the discussion is not the abuse, it is the neglect, because the abuse probably didn’t happen.