Available Balance
Don’t be a doormat or let people use you.
legs-If you want to relax, watch the clouds pass by if you're laying on the grass, or sit in front of the creek; just doing nothing and having those still moments is what really rejuvenates the body. - by Miranda Kerr Everyone is busy with his own daily schedule, working for a job to survive, study in order to achieve good academic result and homemakers busy with household chores, baby sitting. You have a lengthy to do list that you could hardly accomplish half of them throughout the day. You feel frustrated, disappointed and stress out because things are always going the wrong way. Your daily tasks and responsibilities are never ending, it never will either ! You are not alone... No matter how busy you are, it is crucial that you need to take some time out to : recharge your energy rejuvenate your body relax your mind and soul From home to office, from home to school, work is never done because your boss / teacher only demand for more sales/academic results and obligation to accomplish every tasks given. You barely had any room to breathe for a second. You are too busy with your personal schedule that you don't have any spare time for your family or even yourself. Now, it is time to replenish your needs before you burnt out your brain. Here are some useful tips how to take some time out to relax # 1 - Enjoy a Drink Order a soothing, cool drink or a cup of warm tea/coffee/cocoa . Better still, make your own drink at home. Sit down on a sofa, try to relax yourself, read your favorite book, magazine but not the newspaper. Don't fret yourself over the daily news because you had enough plate of it at work. #2- Mini vacation Plan for a mini vacation trip to nearby places or out-station. You don't have to go oversea vacation which is expensive and tiring after a long trip. You can save money on short distance trip and enjoy the relaxation of the facilities provided. Look up at budget vacation websites, book the vacation package online to save the hassle of driving and getting stuck in the traffic jam. Always compare the prices and facilities before deciding where to go for your vacation. Make sure that transportation is provided ( tour bus- so that you don't have to drive, time to sleep during the journey) #3- Listen to Music If you can't apply for a leave from your job, why not enjoy a good dance at the disco, aerobic exercise, enroll yourself for a dance lesson or simply on the Home theatre system / radio and dance to your favorite music! This is the best way to release your stress which will help you to enlighten your mood. Music in your ears is better than your boss lectures. #4- Brisk walk A morning or evening brisk walk is essential. A daily walk of 20 minutes will help you to relax your mind and body. Breathe in the fresh air. Enjoy outdoor activities such as bird watching, the view of flower beds, kids playing, people cycling, sunrise, sunset. Give your tired eyes a break from electronic gadgets. #5- Watch a short video If your internet speed is fast, no disconnection, you might as well watch a short film, movie or variety show to entertain yourself. Sit down on the couch, get some healthy snacks and drinks. Do enjoy a good show to relax yourself. A comedy video would be better to keep yourself happy. More tips: call a friend hit the gym sleep soak yourself in a bathtub go for a spa pamper yourself with a massage Any other relaxing tips to share with me? Copyright allrights reserved by peachpurple Photo belonged to peachpurple Read more articles written by peachpurple HERE Join LiteracyBase NOW and start sharing your experience with us while earning moneyput out your legs and relax-pixabay.com

You consider yourself a trustworthy friend, loyal and dependable. You try your best to be helpful and generous to the friends you make. You invest much time and effort in a friendship. You’re always around to listen. Because of this, you’re the person your friends run to during times of crisis. You eventually become the one individual who is always there to help.

But occasionally, you meet a friend who is incapable of reciprocating.

You may encounter someone who will only look for you when you’re needed. But when you’re the one in need, this friend will offer some convenient excuse not to be there. There is always something more important than you. You are never a priority. And even when you’re together, your friend constantly insists on getting his way. You’re forced to follow whatever your friend wants and you give whatever he needs. Your wishes remain secondary.

Despite this, you continue to hope that this friend will realize how well you treat him and that he should give some time and effort back. But this friend never does. In the end, you eventually feel drained. And when your usefulness to this friend has run out, you may find yourself discarded and forgotten.

Sometimes the desire to feel accepted makes a person vulnerable to abuse. This is especially the case with lonely individuals. Opportunistic people will see this weakness and may come to exploit it. If you feel you have friends who only seek you out when they need you, maybe it is time to rethink these so-called friendships. Otherwise, you may eventually end up a discarded doormat.

Ive been there before with a friend who becane my room mate only to not pay rent and wind up stealing from me.

I moved in with my sister but she charged me an absurd amount of rent.

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Overcome Shyness – Two Easy Ways To Get Rid Of Nervousness

In our modern culture, everyone is focused on becoming more social, popular, and liked–since all of these personality traits come with many benefits. Extroverted people generally have more friends, fun and success than introverts. They also tend to suffer from loneliness and depression less. Becoming more outgoing and social is about living life to the fullest, unafraid to express yourself or go after what you want in life. Since being extroverted has so many benefits to it, it makes sense to want to get rid of your shyness.

Getting your conversation skills up to speed is one quick and easy way to start becoming less introverted. In particular, you want to start becoming more impulsive in what you say. While there are some situations, like job interviews, where you want to be very careful about what you say, in most you should focus on talking more often and more spontaneously. This is going to sound bad, but try not to think too much before you speak in informal social situations. If you put too much effort into everything you say, you’ll come across as a try-hard. By being spontaneous and just letting the words flow, you become easy-going, which is what people like.

In some situations you can probably already talk to people easily and spontaneously. It could be around your family, your niece or nephew, or talking to a close friend. However, when around people you don’t know well or are intimidated of, you aren’t able to act the same way. Your shyness gets in the way. A lot of the time, this issue can fix itself through gradual exposure. An intimidating stranger soon become a close friend if you hang around him several times. By spending more time with people you’ll start to get the hang of talking to strangers. Believe it or not, how well you make conversation is not a talent you were born with, but a skill set. Just like riding a bicycle, the more you practice this skill set the better you will become and the easier you’ll find it to be relaxed around new people

In lowering your levels of nervousness when talking to people, there are many useful techniques to help you relax. Relaxation has the effect of demonstrating to your brain that there is nothing to be afraid of in this situations, which makes your brain’s anxiety lessen. You want that: nothing kills feelings of nervousness and anxiety faster than physical relaxation.

Your relaxation routine should be structured in a way that gets you the maximum results in overcoming shyness. It is not an event, it is a process. It is more effective to implement relaxation as a new routine rather than try it out one time incorrectly when you are in the middle of a full-blown anxiety attack. It will be the compounding of accumulated change that yields the most substantial results. Set aside some time every day to practice relaxation. This will let you become relaxed when you are feeling at your most tense and nervous around people.

If you’d like to learn more about overcoming shyness, then click to read my blog on shyness and social anxiety.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6114589

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Is it always going to be like this.
July 16, 2017
0

I find myself unable to think or cosintrait on anything. I mean dam i use drink allay and not have a care in the world . Getting drunk or high was my job and it was a 24 hour 7 days a week job ,with no days off. But i can say i got breaks for holidays like, get your shit together day, or you going to jail. then it was lets take a break in the county for a couple months for doing some shit i wasn’t suppose to be doing. “Oh” yeah i can remember them days well. I was a drunk and addict for 27 years, on and off meaning prision or rehabs, or the crazy house. Dam so much waisted time . All my youth dam all my youth. Now Im 42 and got to start from scratch what do i know people say I’m smart i can’t tell were is the American dream for me. I had jobs some good some not so good. But nothing that can get me were i want to go . Should i let my past hold me back from achieven greatness, some say i have to wait for life to balance it self out from the good the bad and the ugly. Im crying inside and nobody know it but me. Why me lord why me? Cant you choose some one else to pick on is how i feel at times. why dose life feel so unfair to me i mean dam it seems that why . A”gain i ask  why me ? Am i not strong enough or did i do to much wrong , that my prision is me my pain the way i feel. Will today be the day things change for me , will it be tomorrow? Am i the only one that feels alone in this world by myself, watching my life pasting by. To wake up hurts its pain to know today going to be just like yesterday and the day after that must i go on you get the pic. I love to write i can be somebody else instead of me. I feel worthless a nobody a nothing what do i have to offer but another bill a mother mouth to feed. My anguish is real this is not a drill its the real thing. But i know now that the saying life is what u make it is a dam lie.

 

 

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What is Wrong with Self Help Niche

Many people among us are hurt. And there are small band-aid for such issues. And this sort of band-aid are given by the self help niche. There are many of those who are into this sort of business. And they want to make sure that they make money when the person in such niche is going through problem. And they provide some generic advice. Many people have fallen to this sort of issue. And they have developed some sort of phobia for the self help business. Self help niche has plenty of issues and there are many scam artists making random claims. And instead of providing the solution for this they are giving random fake reason that what makes self help niche good for them. In this article I want to point to some of the issues with the self help niche and what you can do about it.

Expensive Programs

Have you come across programs that offer you 1000$ or more value program? And inside after attending all you have found is nothing but a generic advice. You can see that such programs are only going to affect your brain. And you will have that expensive trip. You earn nothing more from this sort of program. And you just get more brainwashed. In order to avoid this you have to stop falling for such expensive programs. You have to instead work on your focus and then find the programs which are real. This is possible if you meet psychologist who are going to be serious with your work.

No Output

Using quotes and ebooks and seminars, they want to cure people. In reality people are hurt. And they need acceptance and therapy. And that’s not something self help niche is practicing. Instead they are focusing on the process. I think output matters a lot because self help industry does not think of it. They think that consuming some content leads to cure. And in reality that is far from truth. You may also understand the fact that output is not something many people are focused on. Instead they spend time trying to get to more people. That is where they are having issues with their persona.

Lack of Transparency

You may notice that many gurus and the leaders in self help niche are not transparent. So they are always keeping some secrets away. And that’s where you have to get things right. You have to focus on more transparent ways of doing things. If you can do this yourself, people will more focus on that. How to check out if things are transparent? That is simple. You have to see if they are running away from some questions. You can find out if that is how thing are being done there. You can understand with enough efforts your focus is something being played by these people. That’s where you have to change the way you approach these leaders.

That being said, this industry has lot of scams. So make sure that you’re not spending your money and time unnecessarily. Make sure you keep these things in mind before you buy next self help course.

Image by pixabay.

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Reading Inspiraional Content is very Helpful

When you are under depression or somee sort of anxiety, you can find that people reading inspirational can be a good option. The reason being when others show you the way of coming out of depression through working on small things, it can be really helpful. I have read inspirational content of steve pavlina, rhonda byrne and many others. I have found that a lot of reading in that direction is always not necessary. But doing that definitely helps you understand what needs to be done and what else you can do for the better focus towards the life. I think there is a lot of things that can be learned with changing society and circumstances.

Self Help

I think a lot of inspirational content often have repeated theme. And you may find that there is another angle towards the things that can make you avoid reading it all the time. You can find some people are preachy into the content of inspirational content. Like they often recommend you to follow one method for doing things. And that may not work for you. So in that case you have to try another approach. You should consider reading other reading material instead of the preachy. You can also try audio books and the video content. I think video has worked for many people and that’s definitely good option.

Inspiration

Another thing about inspiration is that you have to avoid being purposeful into it. You have to push yourself harder to do things. You can’t expect to get things done. And you have to push yourself on many counts. You can see that you can get inspired but you have to do something after that. Because unless you do something there is not much you can gain out of it. Some of the times you have to calibrate your life to adjust with the inspiration. After that what remains most is the efforts where you have to take action. The lack of action part is where you are going to see changes in your life. That is how inspiration needs to be converted into action.

Action

What good is self help if you don’t take action? You want to lose the weight then you have to take actions. You have to work harder on the efforts there. I think gary varynerchuk also inspires people for taking action. So you can guess the more effort we take the more comfortable we get with the life. And another part with this is that action requires some focus. So the focus building is always maintained in this process. You can see that inspiring yourselves takes time and you have to take efforts. And every action you take towards this is going to build your life. So keep working on your skills. Make sure you don’t fall pray to negativity. And you build small skills into something tangible. So that is going to help you get ahead with most of your efforts along the way.

Again this is just my journey towards the self help and a lot of things to be learned in the process. That’s what I have learned so far from this experience with self help content.

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What is self-improvement and what is not.
April 8, 2017
1

Sometimes, it is needed to make distance from everything that is going on. Even if what is going on seems very own, appropriate, acceptable. Even if you feel it is your path. You need to step back because you feel tired and you realize that you are doing something not in a way that the energy would flow through the edges. And you step back, and monitor the events. And begin to find new people. And there come fresh ideas that are now flowing uncontrolled stream of consciousness. When you live relaxed, live like you are living in paradise, lying down to sleep for a few hours you cannot sleep because you have much free energy. Living in tension, we give that energy to oppressive thoughts, emotions and the fight against everything what we do not like. Just lose vigilance and tension finds its way to us.

For example, when you faced with someone who you think is absolutely silly, who asks such questions, to which you are not responding because you just look at him without speech. In the mind spins Einstein’s idea that the universe and stupidity is infinite. Although about universe is still unclear. And inside you are so disappointed that this silly person you must see often, perhaps even daily. It becomes unbearable and your fatigue increases. But you do not link these things. But if you step back, shortly realize that it is a time to not waste ourselves in vain, let fools be foolish. Furthermore, refuse your arrogance and allow others to be such as they are. Not foolish, but different.

You step back and observe yourself. You realize that it is natural to escape from the human and social life, to break the rhythm in order to get back yourself. You realize that there is no need to be exemplary and “normal”, no need to be what from you expect others.

Being yourself and knowing your limits and the refusal of guilt is the true self-improvement. Ability to recognize your mistakes without feeling guilt, and sometimes even give up on the dreams. How is it to abandon a dream? You can speak with the greatest enthusiasm about the idea, which is intended to implement, but wake up one morning and realize that you really no longer want to live that idea. But you have talked so much about it to others and one part of you simply do not want to be a loser. But you realize that this time more important is not to keep to the word, but to live in the here and now. And if in the present live new ideas, new people and new points of view, it is important not to be afraid to run what is outdated.

I know, sometimes even the enjoyment of small things begin to appear as an illusion and self-ridiculing, but not an amazing and inspirational minimalism. If you still looking for yourself and from time to time look into your peers, and see them richer, happier, more successful and so on and then compare with yourself, simply do not forget to look also into your sensitive and an open heart, understand that the change really can happen also internally not just externally.

Acknowledge that internal wealth is more important than the outside. Let yourself admit that significant part of peers having the material stability, cannot find the inner stability. That thickness of the wallet has nothing to do with the width of the smile.

Self-improvement is not universal methods, it is not books, it is not the time period, it is not a religion, it is not age, it’s not the money, it is not comparing you with others, and it is not constant presence “on the wave”. Some things are about self-improvement, but not the self-improvement itself.

Self-improvement is love, journey, heart opening, acceptance of presence “on the wave” and “fall down”, staying in perfect harmony, and losing it. Admission everything thanks to whom you get to know yourself more closely in order to find the way to the light and beautiful dream faster and faster every time when you lose vigilance and tension comes to the life.

 

Picture by Pixabay.com

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It feels Bad that When Your Speculation Comes out True

I have this realization recently about my speculations. I have lived enough life where I have learned that it feels bad when our speculation turns out to be true. And it’s not because we wanted some things to happen. It’s just that we are helpless the way things are going on in our life. We can’t control everything in our life. And that is what makes it harder for us to come in terms with. So you have to understand when to speculate and when to take action on the speculations that you have. I am not sure if all of us have had those days where we thought something good was going to happened and it did. But often that does not happen. Instead we thought and calculated about something bad. And as we known bad things happened. So in this article I want to discuss about the speculation part of why it feels bad.

I have this incident happened where I realized something that I thought of something like this long time ago. And I wanted to take control of the situation. But lack of money didn’t made it easier for me to control my life. And in turn I ended up getting controlled. So it was kind of hard for me to get over the situation. And that situation ended up making me take more actions which lead to more of problems. So I can tell you from my experience that speculation some of the time can come true. At first I did not thought it would go that way. And that’s where my speculation was wrong.

Speculation often can be misleading and I totally understand that part. It’s not like I can ignore that. I have realized that most of the time when you work hard enough, you speculate more. And that speculation in itself can end up costing you a lot. So you have to focus on things that can be good for you. And you have to decide where you stand when it comes to taking action agianst the speculation. I have learned that some of the time our calculation is going to be so wrong. And there is no way to recover from that. It just makes you worry about things more as well. I am not sure how that can be cured.

Cause and effect is another thing that we are not understanding. For example, we don’t have process to deal with the speculation. And that is what makes you work hard towards life. And then things happen where you have speculated those wrong scenarios. And you just work harder on that to get over it. But that does not work good for you. And you keep working harder to understand what are some of the things that can be changed. As you can see this spiral is going to be difficult to manage. And those who try to manage it will have a hard time. It;s not something that can be handled by all.

In short such problems are hard to deal with.

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Motivational Thoughts To Cheer Your Day

Most of the time our mood goes up and down when we spend a lot of time on Internet. You can have a good mood if you are not spending it the right way. You may find that reading some of the motivational stuff every morning definitely helps a lot. Instead of listening to the news, it helps if you can focus on the positive thoughts. In this article, we take a look at some of the motivational thoughts that can help set you mood for the rest of the day. I’d surely add more such articles, If I have any additional thoughts to share on this.

Nothing Lasts Forever

If it’s body pain, then after some of the time it passes. If it’s mental pain, then you get used to it. The way our life works nothing lasts forever. And you have to accept this as early as possible. If you accept this then surely that helps your life. I have found that people who hold onto thought of something lasts longer end up in depression. So I think nothing lasts forever is a good reminder for us to get out of past and future.

People Shouldn’t be Priority

If you keep any person your priority then those people are going to take advantage of you. And it could be through money or the time. They are going to use you and then throw out of life. That’s the thing you are going to find as you give priority to people. Even keeping parents as priority needs to be drawn to some extent. After that you have to consider your own life. And based on that you can take decisions for yourself.

Death is Inevitable

You have to understand that life is going to be short. You are going to die at some point. Taxes and death are inevitable and we can’t get over that part. You have to understand that death is not something we are going to avoid. So enjoy the life while you can. There are going to be mistakes in your life. You have to let go of lot of mistakes and build on what you can. This way you would control a lot of time and money. And you’d understand where you stand in your life.

Money is Everything Up to Certain Point

When you are broke and living miserably then money is everything. But if you are rich and happy with what you have, then money is not everything. So you have to understand the balance between the two. When you don’t understand this fact, then surely bad things happen to you. Money needs to be viewed with proper understanding and direction. That is what you’re going to be thinking in terms of for long term. That way you’re going to be less frustrated.

These are some of the observations that I have learned while in life of struggle. I think many of us are going to be through this phase and our attitude towards the problem decides how we get out of this situation. That’s what we always need to focus on there as well.

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Inspiring Content from Gary VaynerChuck
February 28, 2017
1

If you have ever spent some time on YouTube and Instagram then I am sure you have accessed content of Gary Vaynerchuck. He has written some of the good content on his blog. But even better is his content on the website. I have seen lot of his shows and the dailyvee show. I think he presented some of the hard facts of life in a simple way. If you watch his show once I am sure you are likely to get addicted. I have seen some of the shows where he explained how to get better in life. And what can be done in order for you to focus more on efforts instead of what is going wrong.

Watching enough of his content, you get the kick and understand where the life is going wrong. And what are some of the things that can be done in order for one to improve. Lot of self help people are going to push you in the wrong direction. And gary vaynerchuck instead going to focus on what you can do better. Most of his content focuses on the action side of the things. But what I have learned that lot of his approach is harder to put up in practice. Because we can’t be that rash and to the point on many instances of the life. And that’s where his advice may not always going to work.

Gary has a very good podcast too. And mostly it is visual form on YouTube. I think everyone should at-least watch that once. And if you like it then I am sure you’d be tempted to explore more of his content from books and other places. He usually brings many people into his shows. And that’s something we all can learn from those guests. There are some marketing pitches hidden behind those motivation. But make sure you are not spending the time too much on it. Because we all have different reality to live. And often such self help advice may not work out for all the people out there.

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The Pattern of A Particular Scam
February 12, 2017
2

There was a ‘conference’ or ‘work group’ or whatever you wish to call this organisation which put on various week end seminars.  These were for men who had difficulty attracting women.

The Speaker would tell them any things to boost their confidence, and then they would go to a club where they would be unleashed.

The Speaker would go with them, give them tips and confidence, and they’d stumble around, and he’d be there to direct them to specific women who were alone at the bar.

The neonate would approach and try and be successful!  Yes!!!! After a few flops and fails, he’d be able to seduce this very attractive woman!

The men paid a lot of money for this ‘course’.  And all of them gave it warm and positive reviews, sending all their friends to learn the ‘tricks’.

This organisation lasted for a time, until it was uncovered that the Speaker hired a set of prostitutes who were to let the neonates slowly seduce them.

The man whom I have called ‘Speaker’ was eventually arrested and charged for being a Pimp, although the fraud allegations were a bit clumsy and ‘ify’ because they did get rooms at the hotel at a reduced rate, there were seminars, and there was free entrance to the club.

There was no guarantee that they would seduce a woman, there was only ‘I will help you be more confident’.. which was true.  For these men would never have approached such attractive women if they hadn’t had their confidence boosted.

The uncovering of this Scam led to a lot of second views of other such ‘self improvement’ organisations.

Do they help?  Do they pretend to help?  Are they frauds?   Is there a ‘trick’?

In the Scam I discuss, the trick, of course, were the prostitutes who were present in the venues where the neonates practiced their ‘confidence’.    The neonates had no idea these were prostitutes hired for their use and would turn down any proposition from any non-member, keeping their eye on the Speaker, to get the nod.

Inquiries have been launched into other such ‘self-help’ groups to ascertain if they practice similar kinds of frauds.

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