Prejudice is not black and white

I once taught a childcare course. The Indian lady would not give a lift to the Pakistani one who lived next door. Bangladeshi ladies seemed to be left as a group apart. Meanwhile, everyone was suspicious of the Travellers,  the single unmarried white mother, and the single white father. Every possible race barrier seemed to have been drawn.

I also had trouble with my creche workers. These ladies from Asia took all the multicultural toys that I purchased and hid them. They told me it was “because they wanted to be English!”

Everyone made friends in the end. I introduced the subject of arranged marriages and talked about cooking. Somehow everyone began to drop their suspicions and make friends. It helped that some of the Irish Traveller ladies had arranged marriage.

Over the years I have often been the only white person in the room and that experience taught me a lot about how finding common ground is the way to break barriers down.

At the end of that course everyone brought in their wedding dress and they decided they would create their own multicultural cookery event. To this day I believe friendships were made across the barriers of race that have not been broken.

I suppose you are thinking that as an English person I never experience prejudice. I do. There was the man on the bus who told me how disappointed I must be to have my lovely mixed-race grandson. He began by assuming I was a child minder. I was surprised at how deeply that affected me. I was furious.

Then there are the many times I have to be the only white person in church. Mostly this is fine, but people sometimes assume I cannot be a Minster or spiritual enough because I am not black! It should not be like that, but with a very few people it is.

Then there are the phrases I have been subjected to by people who benefit from what England has to offer. “This country!” said derogatorily of mine is just plain rude. I like my country and I would never go to say, Africa and run it down like that. Respect for your host nation costs nothing wherever you come from.

One issue that comes up is that of black slavery. Actually,  I have a close relative who lived in South Africa and was anti-apartheid. It was dangerous for him too. I would have been anti-slavery and one thing you learn in Anthropology is that different tribes in different countries through the world have used slaves. It is not right and I hate that it happened and understand the hurt, but please don’t assume a right over me and be rude because of it.

As for the time my “bare chicken,” made at the request of the English people who do not always like spices, was thrown away as inedible. Let’s not go there on how I felt.

I am glad I operate in a multicultural society, but let’s all remember one thing. We all bleed red under the skin and if we work on finding the similarities and the good things, we will all get along.

Please, though, do not tell me prejudice is just black and white. It really is not.