life is just wrong sometimes

Now im not complaining just explaining a few things about myself,  I am a female of native american descent on my mothers side with a father who hated everything that wasnt him,  i married my husband and only boyfriend at 23 years age when we found out i was pregnant and that our daughter had gastroscheisis the doctor orginally wanted me to have an abortion but we perserved and now we have a car accident that has my pelvis held together by pins and a husband who was born with spina bifida, i can assure all of you life is f**ked we have been on the verge of looseing not just our home but our child cause of her special needs and the fact that some people dont understand the term that premature and unable to intake orally means that a baby is going to be smaller than other children her age. and its not cause the parents arent feeding her enough i assure you anytime my daughter even licks something my husband and i jump for joy ( well best we can anyway lol)

i have heard so many times this past year what a miracle it is we are alive, some people say god but im pagan and i just think my soul is still strongly connected to the earth for it to leave just yet and yes ive put protective charms on my husband and daughter but what pagan wouldn’t.  so im just say for anyone who is going through life at a point that just seems impassable  without breaking you, or you killing yourself my daughter at 9 months of life survived 4 surgeries with a dozen blood transfusions and a blood clot cause of a pic line that was feeding her cause she could not eat, add to that finding out her then 25 year old father found out that doctors predicted that he would be in a wheel chair by the time hes 30.

life is just wrong sometimes but think of all the what ifs of the future my daughter is turning 2 in october and can at times be coreced into eating a chicken nugget or french fry from mcd or given an ice pop that will be gone in about 30 minutes lol she eats very slow when she decides to my husband still has back problems but hes still walking. me i survived a car accident and came to terms with certain past pains, and am hoping to try and start my own at home herbal business. this next couple years for us is going to be hard and possibly fun too.

live for the what if not just the what now.