How did I end up as an unwanted caregiver to an elderly member of my family? That is a big question, and I also wonder how that option passes the ultimate judgment of my family members…
Wonders never end in my life.
One member of Literacybase yesterday asked how come that I ended up as a free caregiver to my sick relative, but his children decided to avoid that bitter responsibility?
Yes, in the world of reason and logic his own children or grandchildren should provide that service, and they should be his caregivers. But, here lies the big problem with that solid logical solution.
Neither of his children lives anywhere close to his residence, have a decent living condition to take care of him and to be quite honest don’t have time to do it either. By that, I mean that they work and their work is far more important than his needs. In other words, they didn’t want to drop jobs over this. One more problem is that all his sons said that because they are men, they can’t provide care for him. In their limited mind, only women do this and their wives are not interested because this is not their father, they will not humiliate themselves, some have small children and some have very important jobs.
I said, in their limited minds, this doesn’t make it all normal, logical and right.
Nowe, because of this situation the next closest relative should take care of this. And the next closest relative who is also a woman is only me. We have too many boys in the family and too few women.
I told them straightforward that it is impossible for me to travel both and work and take care of my children, I have three children. But, they didn’t care and literary said to my closest family that I wish to leave him to die. That was extremely heartless.
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Hello;
This is a global question of how to care for our elderly and as people seem to be living longer and the need is ever present you are not alone.
In the US we call it the "sandwich generation." Those who care for children and their parents (or other family members). You are an exception and an exceptional person to care for a non family elder. Congratulations, you are blessed and cursed with being a Great Person.
Care for yourself first, as you are no good to others if you are not cared for. Take this opportunity to give your children a life lesson in selflessness. Learn from your elder what they have learned in life. And when their journey through this life is over you will have been part of their walk. Part of their life and will reap the emotional and intellectual benefits.
Be an example. You are a star.