Different People Whom We Meet And Become Friends With

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In the course of our journey in life we happen to meet different kinds of people whom we meet and become friends with. As each individual is unique and different in his own way. One can safely say that no two individuals we meet will be totally similar. They may belong to different backgrounds, societies, cultures and even religions too. They also may be from different industries about which each of them will  know very little or nothing. But there is a common thread that binds the two individuals who meet and become friends over a period of time. They may be of the same gender or of the opposite sex too. But that one common thing which we seem to share with that individual is what makes us accept them and become friends with. Let us try and understand about those attributes  or qualities which people look in others when they want to build a relationship of friendship with that individual. The different situations are discussed below.

 

Loyalty – It is a very important quality in any sort of relationship and more so in the case of friendship. Why do people look for loyalty as an important quality in an individual to become friends with them? What they feel is, when they are with someone loyal the trust factor and faith in the individual goes up. Loyal people are known not to cheat and are the ones who will stick with the individual through the thick and the thin of the relationship. People who are loyal also see to it that the person with whom they are friends with, in case they are in trouble they do pitch in for them and try to help them out in their hour of need. Loyal people generally tend to look at relationships as a long term one. Hence they will not fool around with the relationship which they consider important and sacred.

 

Strength –  People generally want to be friends with those whom they consider are stronger either intellectually, economically, politically, socially, physically or financially. There are many other qualities which people see if an individual is having like strength, which they may be lacking. So they would want to fill in that gap by having friendship with this particular individual. Building a friendly relation with the individual who has the above stated qualities will help the person feel secure in the particular aspect of the relationship which he finds himself or herself lacking. They will tend to balance and compensate the relationship and make it even with some quality which they may possess but the individual with the strength does not possess. So it is a sort of unwritten give and take which binds the relationship as a friendship between the two individuals. Here the relationship will succeed till the time this status quo is maintained and how strong it has grown.

 

Financially Rich – Generally these people find it difficult to get real friends as they are looked at as the goose laying the golden eggs. The friendship is only a facade and the rich person is being used by the so called true friend to garner whatever they can get out of that person in the form of gifts, in the form of dining out at a good hotel which they may not be able to afford, trying to cash in on the goodies which the rich friend may be having in excess. Falsely trying to portray themselves as very good friends with the rich person as they are in a financially weak position and cannot afford the lifestyle which the rich friend has. They want to have the same lifestyle as the rich friend but are unable to live so and hence are stuck like a leech to the rich friend. This becomes problematic if the rich person in the friendship happens to be very naive. Here there is no such thing as a true friendship existing it is only a matter of convenience and selfish attitude.

 

Common Interests – Many a times people sharing common interests or pursuits become friends.  Here the main factor which is the glue to the relationship is the common interest which both the individuals seem to have. Both of them are very passionate of the same and would like to pursue the same and reach the highest level in that particular interest which both share. Here the individuals will be two who are either pursuing music, common sport, education, reading habits, extra curricular activities and the like. These friendships are mostly with true intent. The moral support which one individual gets from the other is the glue for this friendship. But in some cases the  two individual also happen to be negative characters like in the case of thieves, individuals with bad habits, children who have no interest in studies and the like. Therefore here in both the cases positive and negative case the friendship is genuine and both will have common interests. These friendships tend to stand the test of time in most cases.

 

Both staying or going to the same place – Here the thing is both the individuals who have become friends will be either neighbors who are spending time with each other  for a long time and are sharing many common interests and they also pursue their interests together. It will also be that they are going to the same school and studying in the same class too as they are of the same age group. Here the common factor happens to be the place they go or the place they reside at, their age, their class, school and the like. Both of them will no doubt have different thinking but overall will have many things of interest which are matching and these outweigh the odd in their friendship. Hence the relationship stands the test of time at least for a few years. One more reason why it stands is the age factor. As young children are forgiving towards each other and also forget past incidents and continue their friendship.

 

Same House – In these cases the individuals are either brothers or cousin brothers staying in the same house. So the bonding tends to be strong. They may have their sibling rivalries. But at the end of the day patch up and continue life and happen to be friends and relatives in the good and the bad times. They know each other mostly since childhood and that is one more factor which helps  make their friendship strong. Since they stay in the same house, when it comes to the outside world they are one unit. Whatever the family purchases will be for both of them again so they play together due to their relationship too. These relationships as they are mostly lifelong ones are at least not bad. Generally it tends to be stronger as they grow in age and mature. There is either a common parent or a joint family. So they have to listen to elders who are related to them. Elders also take interest in seeing that these relationships cum friendships are properly nurtured.

 

Adoption – In this case the individuals are from two totally separate backgrounds but the advantage again is one is already residing in the house and the new one is getting adjusted and is a bit meek initially. But here the role of parents is very important as they have to see that there is proper understanding between both. They also have to take into confidence the child who already belongs to the house and have to sensitize him about the new incumbent. If they are sure that their relationship with the parents is not at stake due to someone new walking in then they will agree and will also tend to work it out. But in this case the friendship if it forms tends to be tricky as if the child staying in the house is well behaved then mostly things will work out. But if  he not ready to accept the relationship with the adopted child then it is a problem. Here counselling and parents taking the child in the house into confidence is very very crucial to the success of the friendship. More effort is required in this sort of a relationship.

 

New Classmate – Sometimes it happens that after a few years in school the child who is originally studying there sees that a new child from some other school has come there and is a new admission. If he finds the habits of the new child matching with him or her it tends to build into a friendship which will be long lasting and carry on even as they grow into adults. Here some of the things which create a bond among the two individuals are others in the class bullying the entrant, if the new student had some health issue, if he is very good in studies which even the one studying earlier is good at, both of them having many common likes and dislikes and there thoughts and minds  meeting  on many issues. All these slowly help the relationship of classmates build into a strong friendship. There are many such successful relationships which I have come across in my life.

 

Foreign National – Here the cause of friendship will he curiosity and wanting to know more about the new individual who has just arrived from a different land or country. The relationship in this case is across the continents. The individual new would be looking for some new friends and the one staying in that place or country wants to know more about the country which the new boy or girl has come from. One more thing which will be the language. They will observe that the language which they are communicating is different from what is spoken locally.

 

That generates more curiosity. The lifestyle which each other have is again different and they would want to explore that particular aspect too. All these common factors in them ends up they becoming friends. Here the friendship begins as a exploratory relationship then builds at a later stage into a more mature relationship. Both the individuals equally try to foster a relationship of friendship. Wanting to know more about different cultures is what is the basic foundation for this kind of relationship. The other things which usually comes into play when a friendship is formed also play their role simultaneously.

 

These are but a few kinds of situations and reasons due to which two individuals become friends. Friendship is not a one time affair, it has to be built and nurtured regularly to make it strong. There has to be an attitude of lot of give and take which has to exist if the friendship has to grow from strength to strength. A strong friendship also takes time to build as the foundations of the friendship also need to be strong too. All of us would have had our share of a variety of friends whether online or offline. In both the cases mutual respect for each other is one of the fundamental aspect towards building a successful friendship. As the saying goes ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’ is apt and true.