Yesterday, when coming home after dropping my boyfriend on the central bus station, I was wondering why people bother so much about asking me why I believe in in God and, the most horrible thing if I can prove He exists. Surely, by physical means, no one can prove nothing spiritual, but I went deep on that question in my mind and I came to a conclusion that it is not a simple demand for me to prove something, but it is an inner demand of the person that asked showing his fear about what is holy.
In fact, since I was very young I never doubted God existed. Or, I never doubted there was something extrasensorial that couldn’t be explained by physical apparatus, but only by our hearts. I can remember that I was not raised in a religious family. They didn’t go to masses or to any other religion to give me a religious background. So, why I believed so much there was a great force in the universe that could be everywhere? I knew there was an explanation for that, but I was too young to understand and to make the right question to the right person to guide my thoughts and make me discover things by myself.
So, I decided to read all book I found at home, and they were many (old books) and there I could see no answers, but many questions to many other things I never imagined they existed. And my head was full of ideas, but I had no one to talk to.
When I completed 17 years old, I met a group of people that liked to study philosophical matters but in a way connected to spirituality. I was invited by a friend of mine, a friend that knew me well and we used to play together when we were 6 or 8 years old. She was also very fond of spirituality and discovering those things and she invited me to the group. These people, they were only 5 at that time, always met on Wednesdays at 19h and we dedicated 2 hours of study about spirituality. I can tell you that this was great to me! I could ask everything and we were growing together with the guidance of an older person that always brought good knowledge and wisdom to everything we had to question. For me, that was the best time, when I finally began to understand that there must be something even much bigger than our humble material existence.
This group was getting famous and we started to grow and have more people studying about spirituality. We were all likeminded and that was so good to share and learn from so many. Well, not so many but a bunch of 20 I guess, after one or two years always meeting on Wednesdays.
But things were getting bigger and bigger and soon we had to rent a room to accommodate this group of people and the study became even more serious. Every and each one of us had to take courses in different schools to learn more about crystals, colors, Yoga, Hinduism, and so many other things that could connect to spirituality and each one of was naturally was drawn to something that we liked the most. In my case, I love to study everything related to the Brazilian religion called Umbanda and its mystical form.
I am still in charge of studying Umbanda and spreading it where I live and the people from that original group are spreading it throughout the world, like in Italy, Peru, USA and other parts of Brazil. And about the question: Can you prove God exists? My humble answer is: Faith is something you have or you don’t have. Don’t blame others because they do strongly believe in a God you can’t understand or see. If you are willing to make so many questions about God, about Its existence, for me, there is something in you that is capable of believing in It. Just don’t be so hard on others, making them feel a burden of proving something to you. No one needs to prove anything to anyone, but to themselves alone. Spirituality is a very lonely path and everyone will pass by it, in a way or another. So, before asking if God exists to someone else, ask yourself.
With so much love to all of you!
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