Madonna has managed to survive in the ever changing landscape of the music industry for so many years because she’s never been afraid to evolve, and with every evolution there came a brand new sound, a brand new style and — more often than not — a brand new man. In terms of her romantic life, the
Like A Virgin singer is best known for her high profile divorces from Hollywood star Sean Penn and British movie director Guy Ritchie , but the relationship that has captured the imagination the most is the secret one that she shared with Tupac Shakur .
Madonna dated the late rap star in the mid-90s, not long before he was fatally wounded in a Las Vegas drive-by shooting. Details of their whirlwind romance have been scarce over the years (it wasn’t even confirmed as fact until the singer dropped it into conversation on The Howard Stern Show in 2015), but the emergence of a letter sent from Shakur’s prison cell has shed new light on just how close the pair actually got — and why it all came crashing down. Read on to learn the real reason that the King of Rap dumped the Queen of Pop.
Rosie Perez hooked them up
According to actress Rosie Perez (Do The Right Thing, White Men Can’t Jump), she is the one who arranged Shakur’s very first date with Madonna, hooking them up after the pop icon approached her during the 1993 Soul Train Music Awards. The rapper took Perez to the event after her date stood her up, which apparently didn’t go down well with many of the females in attendance that night. “There were two girls, who shall remain nameless, who wanted to beat me up,” Perez revealed on The View (via The Hollywood Reporter ). “And I was telling Tupac, ‘Will you tell them I ain’t sleeping with you? We’re just friends!’ And he goes, ‘You can take ’em.'”
Madonna was not one of those women, however. Instead of being jealous of Perez for showing up on Shakur’s arm, she instead politely asked if she would put in a good word for her. “Madonna comes over, she looks at me, she goes, ‘Girl.’ I go, ‘I gotcha,”’ Perez recalled. She happily let her date know that Madonna was interested in him, and she still takes pride in the fact that she convinced him to give it a shot. “He goes, ‘Hook that up.’ I hooked it up, and I was very happy about it.”
They passed secret notes
In 2015, Shakur’s stepbrother Mopreme sat down with VladTV to discuss his famous younger sibling’s career, and before long the subject of his love life came up. After revealing that http://www.thelist.com/69370/s… Janet Jackson made the rap star take an HIV test before they performed a kissing scene for 1993’s Poetic Justice, Mopreme (also a rapper) got into the Madonna fling, explaining that he was once entrusted with a secret note. He was on set with Tupac for most of his movies and would often accompany his kid brother to press events, so he was used to seeing famous faces, but it still came as a surprise when Madonna (the most famous pop star in the world at the time) waltzed up and sat down next to him during a promotional interview for 1994’s Above The Rim .
“She gave me a note to give to him,” he said. “I was just happy she was giving him a note!” Mopreme (real name Maurice Williams) admitted that he was tempted to take a sneak peak at the words Madonna had scribbled down, but he was surrounded by the rest of ‘Pac’s entourage at the time so sadly didn’t get the chance. “Everybody was there,” he said. “I went over and gave [the note] to him. He was about the business and then they linked up. I would take him to her house and s*** when we got back to L.A. Yeah… They were a thing for a minute.”
He made her feel like a gangster
While rumors swirled at the time (and continued to do so for years afterwards), Madonna and Shakur somehow managed to keep their romance out of the media spotlight. It wasn’t until Madonna sat down for an interview with Howard Stern in 2015 that their relationship was finally confirmed, much to the shock of the DJ. The rapper came up in conversation when Stern asked the singer about her past interactions with late night talk show host David Letterman, which have been a more than a little awkward on occasion.
Madge brought up one show in particular — the infamous one from 1994 in which she called Letterman a “sick f***” for being obsessed with her sex life and went on to drop the F-bomb a total of 14 times. “Well, one time I was mad at him, when I said the F-word a lot, but the rest of the time was good,” she told Stern. “You know what? I was in a weird mood that day. I was dating Tupac Shakur at the time and the thing is he got me all riled up about life in general. So, when I went on the show I was feeling very gangster.”
He didn’t want to date a white girl
In 1995, Shakur was jailed for the sexual assault of Ayanna Jackson, a 19-year-old fan of his who claimed to have been subjected to a horrifying gang rape by the famous musician and his friends in a luxury suite at New York’s Parker Meridien Hotel. The rapper cried on the stand as he protested his innocence to the court, but he was found guilty and sentenced to four and a half years in prison regardless. He didn’t end up serving his full sentence, but he was behind bars long enough to mull over his relationship with Madonna.
In a fascinating hand-written letter to the songstress that was made public in 2017, Shakur admitted that he had decided to end their relationship because he couldn’t bring himself to date a white woman. “Can u understand that?” he asked in the three-page letter (obtained by TMZ). “For you to be seen with a black man wouldn’t in any way jeopardize your career. If anything it would make you seem that much more open and exciting. But for me, at least in my previous perception, I felt due to my ‘image’ I would be letting down half of the people who made me what I thought I was,” he explained. “I never meant to hurt you.”
He was the jealous type
Shakur showed the kind of emotion that rappers often claim to lack during his court sentencing, and his subsequent correspondence with Madonna further proved that he had a largely unseen sensitive side. In the three-page letter, the platinum-selling artist brought up a saucy interview that Madge had given, and he didn’t like what she’d been saying about his peers. The singer joked that she was on a mission to “rehabilitate all the rappers and basketball players” out there (she also had a fling with NBA star Dennis Rodman around this time), which rubbed Shakur the wrong way and appeared to cause a rift between the two.
“Those words cut me deep seeing how I had never known you to be with any rappers beside myself,” he wrote. “It was at this moment out of hurt and a natural instinct to strike back and defend my heart and ego that I said a lot of things.” He didn’t repeat what those things actually were in the letter, but it’s clear that Madonna’s perceived promiscuity was bothering him. As for not knowing about any other rappers in the picture, Shakur must have missed the headlines that Madonna and Vanilla Ice were making a few years previous, although there’s a fair chance that he simply didn’t class Ice (real name Robert Van Winkle ) as a real rapper.
He regretted dumping her
Shakur also expressed remorse over his decision to bring things to an end with Madonna based on the color of her skin during his heartfelt letter. He claimed to have grown both “spiritually and mentally” in the time that he’d been behind bars, indicating that he’d had a change of heart over the race issue and didn’t care about his reputation anymore. “It no longer matters how I’m perceived,” he told the “Material Girl” singer. “Please understand my previous position as that of a young man with limited experience with an extremely famous sex symbol.”
Shakur wouldn’t be the last man to struggle with the task of taming Madonna, and he certainly wasn’t the first. In fact, the first rapper she got with ended things for the very same reason, dumping her after she published an explicit book (complete with photographs) entitled Sex . “I was hurt to be an unwitting part of this slutty package,” Vanilla Ice told News of the World , (via Digital Spy). “We were in a relationship, yet it looked like she was screwing all these other people. I thought she was taking pictures and running around naked because she was like that. Then when the book came out I was so embarrassed and ashamed. It was a porno.”
Shakur wanted her to visit him in prison
The overall gist of Shakur’s letter (the parts that have been made public, at least) was that he was sorry about the way he had broken up with Madonna and had learned a lesson from it, but he signed off by saying that he had a lot more to say to her if she was willing to hear it. The rapper indicated that he would have liked the pop star to visit him at the Clinton Correctional Facility, even if it was just as friends.
“Like you said, I haven’t been the kind of friend I know I am capable of being,” he wrote. “I offer my friendship once again, this time much stronger and focused. If you are still interested [I] would like to further discuss this with you, but some of it couldn’t wait. I felt compelled to tell you… Just in case anything happened to me.”
The gang-affiliated musician was clearly worried about the dangers of prison life, but as we know it turned out he wasn’t safe on the outside, either. It also turned out that Madonna wasn’t the only female he was writing while banged up. Shakur actually married a woman named Keisha Morris during his prison term, but it didn’t last. They wed on April 4, 1995 but divorced in 1996, just months before his fatal shooting.
But she never did
Despite his offer, Madonna chose not to visit Shakur in prison. At least, that’s the official line. In truth, the singer has always flat out refused to either confirm or deny that she went to see the incarcerated rapper, and she dodges the question whenever she’s asked it directly. When Shakur’s letter to her surfaced, she was once again quizzed about whether or not she ever dropped in on the jailbird, and again she refused to engage on the matter. “I’m not answering that question,” she is quoted as saying by The Sun . “It’s not relevant to this letter.”
Shakur himself denied that such a visit ever happened (though that could have had something to do with the fact that he was involved with Keisha Morris at the time), but he did say that he was glad the story made the news. “Madonna is real nice,” he said . “She’s a good person. She helped me a lot. She was real cool. Like any one of my homeboys. One time, they had a story on the local news out there that Madonna was coming to visit me. Madonna has so much power that the guards let me take an extra shower because they thought she was coming to visit me!”
Did she want his children?
It’s hard to keep track of Madonna’s kids sometimes, but the last time we did a head count she had six (two biological, four adopted). Daughter Lourdes Leon is the eldest of the lot, born in 1996 after her mother had a short relationship with her personal trainer Carlos Leon. She also gave birth to a son during her time with ex-husband Guy Ritchie, with Rocco Ritchie joining the party in 2000. In 2006 she adopted David, the first of four children from Malawi the singer would end up giving a new home to — Mercy followed in 2009, and twins Stella and Esther in 2017.
According to biographer Lucy O’Brien, things could have been quite different. In her book
Madonna: Like an Icon (via New York Daily News), the author claims that the Queen of Pop “desperately wanted children” by the time she started seeing Shakur (she was in her mid-30s by then, while her rapper beau was still in his mid-20s). Sadly, a Pac/Madge love child never came to be, and we’re left to simply imagine what kind of music said love child might have grown up to make.
The letter is being auctioned off
The reason Shakur’s letter has been back in the news in 2018 is that Madonna has just lost her legal bid to stop it from being sold at auction. The singer’s former BFF Darlene Lutz has put the intimate three-page letter up for sale along with a hairbrush that used to belong to the superstar and a pair of worn panties. Of course, the vast majority of people aren’t going to have much interest in items two and three, but the handwritten letter from Shakur could well fetch a small fortune.
A judge in New York threw the singer’s lawsuit against Lutz out in April 2018, telling her that the statute of limitation had passed and therefore there was nothing she could do to stop the sale. Madonna claimed that she didn’t know Lutz was in possession of Shakur’s letter until she read about the auction, but Lutz’ lawyers denied this and accused the songstress of a “personal vendetta” against their client, the BBC reports.
The pair previously went through a bitter court battle over some artwork, which Madonna won. But, as part of the deal, she had to sign papers stating that “any and all” future claims against Lutz would be void, meaning her ex-friend is free to sell all the old pairs of undies she finds. Meanwhile, fans of both Madonna and Shakur are anxiously awaiting the sale of the letter, hoping that the buyer reveals it in its entirety. Watch this space.
Madonna has managed to survive in the ever changing landscape of the music industry for so many years because she’s never been afraid to evolve, and with every evolution there came a brand new sound, a brand new style and — more often than not — a brand new man. In terms of her romantic life, the
am on the threshold of turning 30 and my Saturn Return was a whirlwind of self discovery, of proving to myself that I know how to commit, I know how to love , I know how to change and transform , and I know how to resolve conflict . It has been exhilarating. It has been liberating. And above all else, I feel completely capable of continuing to create the life I’ve always imagined.
That said, each partner over the years has brought profound life lessons with them. And the endings served me in ways I have yet to articulate. So I definitely owe countless thank-yous and well wishes to those who have helped me to become a better version of myself through the years.
That said, this is, by far, one of the best articles I have read on the topic of romantic relationships and how to gauge whether or not you’re in a beneficial one. It has changed the way I see myself and my partner/s:
Everything You Need To Know About Choosing The Right Guy
It is phenomenal. Do yourself a favor and read her work, not just the excerpts I list in this article.
And remember, it applies to any gender, pronouns are interchangeable.
Not only is this an excellent way to check-in with yourself to better understand whether you and your partner are compatible or not, it’s also a great self-reflective activity to identify and explore the qualities necessary for building lifelong partnerships. The following excerpts are from Sabrina Alexis’ book Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts (you can purchase it here).
“A big mistake I see women making is blaming themselves when a relationship falls apart. They torture themselves with could haves and should haves. I should have been less needy, I should have been more agreeable, I could have been more supportive, etc. Yeah, you could have done all that, but it wouldn’t have mattered if he wasn’t committed to making it work.”
“If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky, it means he is lacking in the most important quality you need in a partner, and that is a man who is committed not only to you, but to making it work. It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is all sunshine and roses. The truth comes out after time goes on, when you let your guard down, when you can be more of yourselves instead of the absolute best version of yourselves. Even the best couples don’t seamlessly fit together. There is always a certain degree of work involved in order to create that deep and meaningful connection, and it has to come from both people. ”
“I remember the exact moment I knew my husband was the one. After about a month of everything being perfect (as they usually are in the beginning), we had our first conflict. It was nothing major; we just started experiencing areas where our personalities clashed and seeing how we process things differently. I tend to be more intellectual and straightforward in my thinking, while he’s more emotional and dynamic in his thinking. I would get impatient with this, and my impatience was hurtful to him. The details don’t really matter, what matters is that I remember the way he brought the issue up and how sincere he was about working through things and getting to a place of better understanding.” Sabrina Alexis
The above quote mentions my communication style, emotional and dynamic. Dating someone who has a different communication style can be challenging, but workable. Remember this in the future. Your differences do not dictate the fate of your relationships, your choices and flexibility do.
The following excerpt really hit home for me also…I had a gut reaction, a visceral aha! moment:
“When a guy is ready to settle down, he wants to make it work. He wants to overcome the differences, to get to a place of better understanding. My husband and I are so different. The way we think and feel is different, and the way we communicate is different. In the beginning of our relationship this definitely caused problems, but now, after really committing to working on it, we have hit this amazing place of understanding and are so much more in sync. The differences still exist, but we were able to meet in the middle. Even when things got difficult, I wasn’t any less sure he was the guy for me because of how deeply committed he was to making it work.”
A relationship isn’t about finding the perfect match, it’s about finding someone you can form a meaningful, lasting partnership with. Notice the word form. It’s an active process; it doesn’t just exist. It’s about working together, being a team, and overcoming the challenges.
It’s not enough to just WANT to be with someone, you have to have the skills necessary to make it work – to compromise when necessary, to respect boundaries, to love unconditionally.
There is a big difference between wants and needs when it comes to relationships, but it’s not always easy to make the distinction. You might want a guy who is tall and strapping and charismatic and a CEO of a major company, but a guy with those credentials might have a host of other qualities that aren’t good for you and don’t fulfill your fundamental emotional needs. My husband is the opposite of the “ideal man” I had envisioned for myself, but even though he doesn’t have certain qualities I used to consider requirements, he is exactly what I need. That was clear to me and everyone around me very early into our relationship.
“Whether you’re single, dating, or in a serious relationship, these are the most essential qualities you need to look for in a partner:
1) He loves your good qualities and accepts and embraces the bad without making you feel guilty for having flaws. You don’t need to hide your true self from him and put on a front in order to be what you think he wants. You can share your true self and be vulnerable and feel safe doing so, knowing that if anything it will make him feel even closer to you.
2) He is there for you when you need him, even if it’s inconvenient for him. A partnership will sometimes require sacrifice and compromise. Life is unpredictable and unexpected. You can’t predict what will happen and nothing can possibly go as planned 100% of the time. A guy who is husband material will be there for you when you need him. He will be in it with you; he will be your partner in whatever happens and will weather the storm with you, even though he might prefer to stay in the sunshine.
3) He considers you when making decisions, both big and small. A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Factoring you in shows that he respects you and that he wants to create a life with you, not simply envelope you in his world. Our worlds can be comfortable when we don’t have to compromise, so it’s not always easy taking someone else into account and factoring in their wants and needs and preferences, but that’s what a relationship is.
4) He is growth-oriented. No one is perfect; we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and white—usually a person’s greatest strength is linked to his greatest weakness. In a relationship, his behavior affects you (and vice versa) and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growth-oriented guy will want to work to strengthen his character. A guy who isn’t growth oriented will say it’s your problem and that this is just the way he is and you need to deal with it.
◦ For example, let’s say you’re dating a guy who can be insensitive at times. Maybe he doesn’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day and instead just gives you matter of fact advice in a direct way. His no-nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful to him in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you sometimes when he doesn’t empathize with what you’re going through and instead just tells you what to do about it, or gets impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something he doesn’t consider to be that big of a deal. You want a guy who will accept that his tone can come across as harsh and hurtful to you and who actually tries to work on it, not one who says it’s your problem and you need to deal with it. He probably won’t get it right every time, but if he’s growth oriented he will at least try.
5) He has similar beliefs and values. This one seems so obvious yet it’s so often overlooked. Love does not in fact conquer all. If you are not fundamentally compatible, you will face major hurdles ahead. If he is going to be your life partner, you have to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to issues that matter. And if you aren’t on the same page, then make sure he respects where you stand (and vice versa) and that you’re both willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling understanding about your differences.
6) He views you as his partner. The relationship is something more than each of you individually … together, you and he are a team. And as that team, you are both individually stronger than you could be on your own. He sees you as his equal, as a person of great value, someone he can grow with. Not someone who is there to feed his ego, give him validation, be his emotional crutch, or be there solely to satisfy his needs.
◦ He respects everything about you—your thoughts, ambitions, opinions, the things you say, the company you keep, your job. He doesn’t make you feel bad about your life circumstances and he appreciates the person you are and the choices you have made.
7) He wants to make you happy. One of a man’s most fundamental needs in a relationship is to make his girl happy. It may not always feel like it or look like it, but it’s true. In order to truly bond with a woman, a man needs to feel like he can make her happy. And when a man truly cares for a woman, he wants to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Love is a selfless thing. If you love people because they make you feel great about yourself, then it isn’t real love. When a man shows he genuinely cares about you and your happiness, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of his own happiness, then you know his feelings are for real.
8) He communicates with you, even about tough issues and even if one of you is upset with the other. With the right guy, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for fear of rocking the boat. You know he respects you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be fights, miscommunications, arguments, and also times when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together, and this starts with open communication.
9) He wants the same kind of commitment you want.
But the Most Important Quality of All Is …
He wants to make it work. He’s willing to put in any amount of effort. If there is a problem, he wants to find a way to solve it. He wants to work harder, to be better, to be his best self. ”
The information above is what changed my entire perspective overnight. It sealed the deal for me. Suddenly things became inescapably clear – no more denial, no more anxiety, no more analyzing. Knowing I am a supportive and loving partner capable of self-improvement, active listening and committing longterm changed everything for me. Lacking the skillset to resolve conflict, or even the knowledge of how to invest in a real relationship is going to create massive waves in any relationship.
Literally at the snap of a finger, after reading Sabrina’s piece, my entire perception of commitment changed. Do not blame yourself for other’s shortcomings. Do not waste time or energy investing in someone who is not equally invested in you. No more making excuses for their behavior; do not love and support them without pause if they are incapable of doing the same for you. An equal balance of power is incredibly important in healthy, working relationships.
I am a firm believer in karma. Karmic relationships have been the catalyst for my internal growth over the years. If you’re not familiar with the concept, definitely look into it. Even if you’re not into New Age-y explanations for things, the idea of karmic relationships still makes significant psychological points for why we pursue the relationships we do, and why we struggle to let go of them once they’ve reached completion. When we know we cannot fix another human, when we know we are all perfectly imperfect, all we are left with is loving fully and unconditionally.
Oh, and for those in relationships: If you want a deeper relationship, ask your partner these 10 questions.
Every woman wants to have the perfect relationship with her significant other. We all want to love and take care of someone. However, very often, everything turns out to be much more complicated than we expect.
Very often, women can’t see that their men treat them in the wrong way. They don’t value them, take everything for granted, and consider them not smart enough. Everyone deserves to be loved, that’s why it is important to realize your man’s real attitude.
Today we have prepared some important information for you. We are sharing a list of signs that your man is treating you poorly. In this way, you will be able to get rid of the problem and be happy.
#1 There is no appreciation
The best romantic relationship can only happen when the partners are more or less equal. They both work, do the household chores, and help each other. However, if he says that he loves you, but makes you do a lot of work at home, despite the fact that you are working too, he just doesn’t appreciate you and your work.
This relationship won’t make you happy. That’s why you should solve this problem as soon as you have noticed such an attitude. Make him understand that you are working too, so you should clean the house and cook together.
#2 He doesn’t respect you
Respect is one of the main things in any kind of the relationships. If there is no respect between partners, the relationship is doomed. If he interrupts you, ignores you, screams and laughs at you in front of other people, than he just doesn’t respect you. You should talk to him about it. If he doesn’t understand you and thinks that he does everything properly, then it’s time to leave him.
#3 Shame and humiliation
If you partner jokes about your appearance, insults you and makes you feel bad, you shouldn’t stand it. He lowers your self-esteem in order to make you dependent on him. In this way, he tries to be sure that you’ll never leave him.
That’s why you should take care of you and try to become better, not for him, but for yourself. Be confident and independent, don’t let him humiliate you. Be brave enough to tell him your real thoughts and feelings.
#4 Making it your fault
It means that whatever has happened, he will always say that it’s your fault. For example, if he says something offensive, he will say that this is just a joke, and it’s your fault, because you are too resentful and don’t value his brilliant sense of humor.
You should understand that you have a right to be upset or take offense, when somebody insults you, you have a right to have feelings and emotions. You shouldn’t be afraid to show them. Nobody can judge you for it. Just tell him that you don’t like what he does.
#5 Feeling guilty
It’s strange, but very often when somebody hurts our feelings, we feel guilty for it. This is what he wants to achieve. The lower your self-esteem is, the stronger the hold he has on you. He can do anything to make you feel guilty.
You should solve this problem. The first thing you should do is talk to him. Explain to him that there are a lot of people who appreciate you and your efforts. Make him understand that you do your best to maintain your relationship. If he doesn’t understand you, show him the door.
#6 No respect for boundaries
It’s also the matter of respect. For example, he knows that you are deathly afraid of spiders, but he shows you them when you are cleaning the house or jokes that this disgusting creature is right above your head.
It seems to be nothing, just a joke. But it shows that he doesn’t respect you, your fears, and doesn’t want to keep within the boundaries. You should talk to him to solve the problem. However, if it doesn’t help, it’s time to say goodbye.
#7 He doesn’t pay attention to your needs
When people really love each other, they do everything possible to make each other happy. They talk, listen to each other, understand each other’s needs and desires and try to fulfill them. If he doesn’t pay attention to your needs, then you should talk to him about it. Explain to him that both partners should work on their relationship to be happy.
People who really love each other trust each other completely. There is no need to control everything. However, if he controls your every move, you won’t be happy. Explain to him that private space is important for everyone, and his control will destroy your relationship. If he doesn’t understand, it’s time to leave.
Nobody ever said long distance relationships were easy. But sending her a romantic letter professing your undying love will definitely make it easier for the both of you to get through this hurdle in your relationship!
While most of the joy we get in our relationships comes from being together in person, there are times when we need to think of our future before we can enjoy the present. These days, it’s absolute misery knowing that I can’t be where you are and you can’t be where I am. But despite this, I know that this momentary sadness won’t last long. Sooner or later, we will find the right moment to be together again. And when that time comes, nothing in the world can ever tear us apart. I love you, I miss you, and I will see you very soon.
For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice. Babe, we’re sacrificing the present for a better future. We’re working now so that we can relax and be happy and content in each other’s company in the coming days. I know that it’s hard for you and me to not be able to hold each other whenever we’re feeling down and low. But remember that I am just a phone call away. Text me and I’ll always be there. Call on me and I will be there with you to lend my ear and soothe you with my voice and comfort you in spirit. I am there with you all the way, and nothing can get in the way of that. I love you so much, babe. I miss you.
These days all I can do is think about you. Babe, you complete me as a man. Before I met you, I already thought I was content in my life. But I finally learned what I was missing when you came into my life. I now can’t imagine a life without you by my side. I can’t imagine what happiness can be if you’re not in the center of it all. I look forward to all the big things we’ll do together like traveling, buying our first home, and starting a family. But I also look forward to the little things like cuddling up in the couch, falling asleep in your arms, going on fun dates, and just talking about anything and everything. I even look forward to days when we might not be in such a great mood and we’re arguing, only if that will make our making up even sweeter. Babe, while you may be far away from me, you’re always in my heart. I keep you here as you keep me in yours. I love you more than the distance that separates us.
We have been living apart for quite a while now, but it’s something I might never get used to. I used to always think that long distance relationships are hard, and they still kind of are. However, there are a few things that make it easier. First, the love we share cannot be tarnished by distance. No matter how far apart we are, our love is whole and it’s pure and it’s what keeps us going. Second, these days it’s so easy to stay in touch even if we’re on different time zones. We can send each other videos of our day. We can bask in each other’s voice when we talk. And we can share so many memories together online. Third, and most importantly, we both know that this separation isn’t permanent. We can see each other when we go on vacation. But the best part is that we’re only spending time apart so that we can finally reunite one day and never be apart again. I love you. Remember that.
If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you. I’m there with you on the hardest days when you feel like dropping everything and leaving. I’m there with you on days when you feel like you want to quit. I’m there with you on days when you’re so lonely you’re tempted to buy the first ticket here. I am always with you, and I am always there to help you. And on days when it seems like you just want to end this long distance relationship by coming here, remember that we are doing this for a reason. I love you so much, and I’ll see you soon.
Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss. Each night I fall asleep brings me one day closer to the day when I can hold you in my arms again. Each day I work reminds me of why we need to be apart for now. And each time I speak to you and see you on my screen, I am given the strength to go through another day, as it will only bring me closer to the day I will be with you again. I love to the moon and back, babe.
Missing you hurts because your presence is essential. It gives peace to my soul, happiness to my heart, and untold joy to my spirit. Knowing your mine feels like dreaming while I’m awake because you’re everything I have ever dreamed of. I have found the perfect woman for me – the one who can understand me and care for me, and the one whom I love with no conditions. But when I’m far away, it’s like fate has cruelly snatched away our time together, just so that I can love you from a distance. But I won’t let this deter me from working harder to finally be with you again. Knowing you are mine makes me strong and powerful. Knowing that you are there waiting for me gives me the determination to keep going. All that I’m doing and all that I am is for you and only you.
Let me start off by saying that each day I’m away from you feels like a stab to my heart because of how much I miss you. It may be sunny and warm where I am, but my heart only ever has light when you are there with me. Your smile and your laughter gives me all the sunshine I need. I need to feel your embrace, your hand in mine, your lips against mine, and your comforting presence by my side. I can’t wait until this torment is over, until I can finally be truly there with you and not just in spirit. I can’t wait to make up for all this time apart by spending each and every waking moment being there with you. I need in you in my life like you wouldn’t believe, and I miss you every single day. You are my reason for being, my strength through the hardest times, and the embodiment of all that is right and beautiful in the world. Babe, please wait for me. I’ll be there by your side before you know it. I love you so much.
Long days pass by and it feels like it’s bringing me no closer to the day when I can be with you again. Our celebrations of special occasions and holidays, happy as they make me, can’t seem to hold up to the joy I’ll feel when I’m finally with you again. I just keep reminding myself that distance is temporary. They’re just miles between me and you. It shouldn’t change how much we love each other, and in fact it should only serve to strengthen it. Babe, you give me strength each day to keep carrying on so that I can finally be with you again. I miss you, I love you, and I will be right there with you when the right time comes.
No amount of miles can ever get in the way of my love for you. You can be on the opposite side of the planet, on the moon, and even on Mars and I will still love you as deeply as I do now. And while the distance between us may sometimes feel so unbearable, I want you to remember that there will come a time when you and I will finally be together forever, and the distance between us now will only serve to strengthen that love.
Make her smile through a tough day or help her strengthen her resolve to wait until the day you’re together again by sending her one of these sweet long distance relationship letters!
“In a strong relationship each person should support the other; they should lift each other up.” – Taylor Swift
Nick Hornby once said, “ It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party. ” There’s all kinds of different levels of strength when it comes to relationships – and some relationships are stronger than others.
A strong relationship is one where you “ Enjoy what others have to offer rather than trying to change them to fit your own template of how life and love should be, ” according to author Kate Figes.
So, if you’re trying to evaluate how strong your relationship is, you may be trying to compare it to other relationships that you see around you in your day to day life. But, there is an even better way to figure out if your relationship is stronger than ever, especially if it has gone through rough patches before.
Here Are 11 Habits of a Relationship That Is Strong
1. Good communication skills
One of the biggest, most important things when it comes to relationships is knowing how to communicate with your partner. Whether it’s communicating about your plans for the day, or talking about deep, emotional things that can bring you closer together, communication is one of the most important things that a relationship needs to be strong. And more important, you also know how to listen to one another when you’re communicating back and forth, even if it’s about something silly.
Or as psychologist and relationship expert John Gottman pointed out, “ The thing that all really good marriages and love relationships have in common is that they communicate to their partner a model that when you’re upset, I listen. The world stops, and I listen. And we repair things. We don’t let things go. We don’t leave one another in pain. We talk about it, and we repair. ”
2. Trust in each other
How can you be in a strong relationship if you don’t trust the other person? Trust is key to any strong relationship. If you trust your partner not to hurt you, cheat on you, lie to you, and to communicate with you, then you’re already ahead of the game for a lot of relationships. Trust is instrumental to any relationship, and if you lack trust in your partner, it may be a sign that the relationship isn’t working. However, if you feel like you can trust your partner, and you know that your partner can trust you, then you’re doing amazing.
3. You don’t check out other people
Some people feel like this isn’t something that is a big deal in a relationship. After all, we’re all human and we all have eyes. If you’re not going to act on it, what’s the harm in looking at an attractive person? However, couples who have a strong relationship don’t even feel the desire to check others out, even if they find them attractive. Being able to acknowledge that another person is attractive is different than ogling them when your partner isn’t looking.
4. You problem solve
Money problems? Relationship problems? Stress? Whatever the issue, you and your partner can solve those problems together. Even if the problem seems big and unmanageable, you know that you’ll be able to tackle anything with your partner by your side. A strong, successful relationship means being able to work together to solve problems, even if you disagree on the solution. Turning towards your partner for support in problem solving means that your relationship is strong.
5. You have fun together
What’s the point of a relationship if you can’t have fun together? “Schedule time together. Find things to do that each of [you] enjoy. Say no to other things that would keep you from having adequate time together,” says relationship psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish.
Even if things become stressful due to life stressors, you still have time to get together with each other and forget the rest of the world while you have fun. A good relationship always has time for you and your partner to enjoy being with one another. Learning when it’s a good time to just let go means that your relationship is strong and that you have a long future together.
6. You help each other grow
Being a person is all about growing and learning new things about yourself. When you’re in a relationship, you want to be with someone who can help you learn and grow, rather than hold you back. A strong relationship will always involve two partners who help and push one another to grow and become better people – whether that means giving them some tough love, or holding their hand when they need it.
After all, “ It is clear that when we know someone has our back, we are more confidant and more adventurous. We achieve our goals more easily and are less derailed by disappointments,” says Dr. Sue Johnson. Having a partner who actively supports your goals and dreams means that your relationship is strong.
7. Affection towards each other keeps growing
Affection is one of a few very important things in a relationship. Holding hands, sneaking kisses, affectionate touches, playing with one another’s hair, cuddling together on the couch… affection is our way of showing our love to our partners without words.
It’s also a great way to release bonding hormones that make us feel more love for our partners. When you have a very affectionate relationship, you’re going to have a stronger bond than relationships that are low on affection.
8. You’re still you
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you become one person. If you continue to retain your individuality, then your relationship is very strong. Your relationship and your partner shouldn’t eclipse your personality, and they shouldn’t try to change you, either.
“ Love yourself first. Self-love is the first love. If we do not honor, respect, value and appreciate ourselves, no one else will. Our partner will only mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves. We must look within for our own happiness and fulfillment first and not make the mistake of relying on someone else to make us happy, ” says life coach and author Patty Blue Hayes
If you feel like you can be yourself and your partner loves you for who you are, then your relationship is undoubtedly strong enough to last.
9. You share similar values
If you and your partner have entirely different values and ethics, you may find that your relationship isn’t as strong as it could be because “ Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love, ” says Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology.
Even if you have entirely different personalities and interests, if you have the same ethics and values, your relationship will be stronger than ever. Even if you don’t have the exact same values, your values should be complementary and work together without clashing.
10. You share habits
You share good habits, of course. If you’re picking up each other’s bad habits, it may be a sign that your relationship isn’t working for you. However, when you pick up your partner’s good habits and quirks, it’s a sign that your relationship is truly one of the good ones. When you pick up each other’s quirks, like their music, and enjoy their hobbies, it’s a sign that your relationship is good and strong.
11. You’re both committed to each other
If you’re afraid of commitment, you’re probably not in a very strong relationship. However, when you and your partner are excited and ready to commit to one another, then it’s a sign that there’s nothing weak about your relationship at all. The strength in your relationship can be shown through your commitment to one another.
But what about when life stresses you out?
“ A successful career and exciting workplace can distract partners from their relationship, and from the family they have created. Each partner has to be able to trust that the other has his or her back, and that they intend to do all they can to understand and support one another. The relationship must come first,” says Dr. Mike McNulty, a Master Certified Gottman Therapist.
Strength in a relationship cannot be measured by pitting your relationship against someone else’s. No matter what your relationship looks like from the outside, the strength of your relationship comes from within. There are several different habits that partners have to exhibit in their relationships for it to be considered a strong relationship. If you seem to be hitting all of these points, then your relationship is undoubtedly stronger than ever.
Don’t let the word love define your LOVE
Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can experience. The strange think is, that almost nobody knows what love is. Why is it so difficult to find love? That is easy to understand, if you know that the word “love” is not the same as one’s feeling of love.
The word “love” is used and abused for the expression of different sets of feelings.
The word love is used as an expression of affection towards someone else (I love you) but it also expresses pleasure (I love chocolate). To make it a little more complicated, the word “love” also expresses a human virtue that is based on compassion, affection and kindness. This is a state of being, that has nothing to do, with something or someone outside yourself. This is the purest form of Love.
The ancient Greek used 7 words to define the different states of love:
Storge: natural affection, the love you share with your family.
Philia: the love that you have for friends.
Eros: sexual and erotic desire kind of love (positive or negative)
Agape: this is the unconditional love, or divine love
Ludus: this is playful love, like childish love or flirting.
Pragma: long standing love. The love in a married couple.
Philautia: the love of the self (negative or positive)
These are 7 different kind of feelings. The love you feel for your partner is not the same as the love you feel for your mother. Even the love for your partner changes in time. You feel different emotions for different situations and people.
But still, we use the same word. It is easy to understand that a confusion is easy made while communicating. I can say “I love you” to two different people (and mean it), but I am actually feeling in a different way.
This confusion is not only the case while 2 people are talking, your own brain does not get it.
What you feel is controlled by the right side of your brain and language is controlled by your left side. If you use the word “love” 10 times a day with different situations, it losses power. Your left part or your brain does not get fully activated when you really mean “I love you” and want to get exited about it. 50% of your brain is a lot.
The first thing that you need to do is learn the differences of the (7?) states of love. Not the words, but how they feel. It is easy if you recognize the words. It is basic training. Awareness, that is the secret to love.
Love is a practice, it is not something you find or don’t find. You can practice love for the rest of your life.
Don’t abuse the word love. Use other words where you are not addressing emotion towards other people.
Example: I love chocolate, becomes: I enjoy chocolate. I love my job, becomes: I have passion for what I do.
Enjoying, loving and passion are 3 different emotions. It is essential to learn (again) the true meaning of words, not merely to communicate with someone else, but also so learn to experience them. Words are very powerful instruments. Not only to communicate with others, but also with your self. The words you use, creates awareness and eventually your reality.
If you use words wisely, you can learn to recognize what kind of love you are feeling, and enjoy the different kinds of love. With one person of different ones.
If you don’t know how to find love with in you, you will never find it outside you.
Words are agreements to express ideas or feelings. The meaning of words is not absolute, it is always a personal interpretation. The group of feelings associated with the word “love” is difficult to understand, and even more difficult to express to other person. Let put is this way: it is impossible with only one word.
With the creation of a word, you can give it a special meaning. Some lovers create words to express what they feel to each other. A word creates and agreement or memories. This moments can be repeated when you use that word or when you think about it.
In other languages exist words, related to love, that expresses different situations that don’t have a translation to English. When you know this words, you recognize this feelings. You get more grip in what you are experiencing.
Beautiful words in other languages:
Yuanfen (Chinese): A love relationship that has been established by lot, based on principles of Chinese culture.
Mamihlapinatapei (Yaghan): A look that without words is shared by two people who want to initiate something, but neither start.
Cafuné (Brazilian Portugees): Slowly stroking your fingers through someone else’s hair.
Retrouvailles (France): The happiness of seeing someone again after a long time.
La Douleur Exquise (France): The enormous pain in your heart when you desire someone you cannot have.
Ya’aburnee (Arabic): The hope that you will die earlier than the other, so you don’t need to live without the other.
Forelsket (Nordic): The euphoria you feel when you fall in love for the first time.
Saudade (Portugees): The feeling of longing for someone you love, but is far away.
This “moments” are so important in other cultures that they have words to express them. My point is, don’t use just one word to define your love. Learn this “words” and recognize them when you are living them.
With love, you get what you put in
Love is an emotion in action. You can learn how to feel and cultivate your love… First learn and know the different situations of love. Learn how to recognize them when you are feeling them. Then you go and share your love with others.
Love between 2 people can only begin if the interaction is based on truth, trust and respect. That is something you start giving. This is essential to grown mutual love between 2 individuals. If the other person gives you wat you give, then you start feeling love for each other and it can grow…
It is not difficult to understand love, once you know how love works.
It is very easy to fall in love with someone. The difficulty is to stay in love. But if it is difficult to stay in love, that means, that it is not the love of your life. It is a love experience. Love is always beautiful, if it is not beautiful, it is not love. Time to move on. Sometimes, love just fades away. It is better to move on when you don’t feel anything, then when you feel the opposite of love.
Finding your loved one or a relationship…
If you want to find the love of your life, start being aware of your use of the word love. Saying and thinking I want to find the love of my life and not I want a relationship is fundamental. You find what you are looking for.
“Being in a relationship” is a marketing term invented in magazines. Everyone that is not single is in a relationship. To address a large group of people it is perfect, but it is to vague to define your personal situation.
The only important question for you should be: “Am I experiencing love or not?”
This is the first philosophy essay forming a series under the name: “Natural Philosophy” about the most important matters of life, trying to define a “Theory of everything”. Continue reading here.
The demand to be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and being loved, but is there love when each one of us is seeking his own security, his own particular path? We are not loved because we don’t know how to love.
What is love? The word is so loaded and corrupted that I hardly like to use it. Everybody talks of love—every magazine and newspaper and every missionary talks everlastingly of love. I love my country, I love my king, I love some book, I love that mountain, I love pleasure, I love my wife, I love God. Is love an idea? If it is, it can be cultivated, nourished, cherished, pushed around, twisted in any way you like. When you say you love God what does it mean? It means that you love a projection of your own imagination, a projection of yourself clothed in certain forms of respectability according to what you think is noble and holy; so to say, ‘I love God’, is absolute nonsense. When you worship God you are worshipping yourself—and that is not love.
Because we cannot solve this human thing called love we run away into abstractions. Love may be the ultimate solution to all man’s difficulties, problems and travails, so how are we going to find out what love is? By merely defining it? The church has defined it one way, society another and there are all sorts of deviations and perversions. Adoring someone, sleeping with someone, the emotional exchange, the companionship—is that what we mean by love? That has been the norm, the pattern, and it has become so tremendously personal, sensuous, and limited that religions have declared that love is something much more than this. In what they call human love they see there is pleasure, competition, jealousy, the desire to possess, to hold, to control and to interfere with another’s thinking, and knowing the complexity of all this they say there must be another kind of love, divine beautiful untouched, uncorrupted.
Throughout the world, so-called holy men have maintained that to look at a woman is something totally wrong: they say you cannot come near to God if you indulge in sex, therefore they push it aside although they are eaten up with it. But by denying sexuality they put out their eyes and cut out their tongues for they deny the whole beauty of the earth. They have starved their hearts and minds; they are dehydrated human beings; they have banished beauty because beauty is associated with woman.
Can love be divided into the sacred and the profane, the human and the divine, or is there only love? Is love of the one and not of the many? If I say, ‘I love you’, does that exclude the love of the other? Is love personal or impersonal? Moral or immoral? Family or non-family? If you love mankind can you love the particular? Is love sentiment? Is love emotion? Is love pleasure and desire? All these questions indicate, don’t they, that we have ideas about love, ideas about what it should or should not be, a pattern or a code developed by the culture in which we live.
So to go into the question of what love is we must first free it from the encrustation of centuries, put away all ideals and ideologies of what it should or should not be. To divide anything into what should be and what is, is the most deceptive way of dealing with life.
Now how am I going to find out what this flame is which we call love—not how to express it to another but what it means in itself? I will first reject what the church, what society, what my parents and friends, what every person and every book has said about it because I want to find out for myself what it is. Here is an enormous problem that involves the whole of mankind, there have been a thousand ways of defining it and I myself am caught in some pattern or other according to what I like or enjoy at the moment—so shouldn’t I, in order to understand it, first free myself from my own inclinations and prejudices? I am confused, torn by my own desires, so I say to myself, ‘First clear up your own confusion. perhaps you may be able to discover what love is through what it is not.’
The government says, ‘Go and kill for the love of your country’. Is that love? Religion says, ‘Give up sex for the love of God’. Is that love? Is love desire? Don’t say no. For most of us it is—desire with pleasure, the pleasure that is derived through the senses, through sexual attachment and fulfilment. I am not against sex, but see what is involved in it. What sex gives you momentarily is the total abandonment of yourself, then you are back again with your turmoil, so you want a repetition over and over again of that state in which there is no worry, no problem, no self. You say you love your wife. In that love is involved sexual pleasure, the pleasure of having someone in the house to look after your children, to cook. You depend on her; she has given you her body, her emotions, her encouragement, a certain feeling of security and well-being. Then she turns away from you; she gets bored or goes off with someone else, and your whole emotional balance is destroyed, and this disturbance, which you don’t like, is called jealousy. There is pain in it, anxiety, hate and violence. So what you are really saying is, ‘As long as you belong to me I love you but the moment you don’t I begin to hate you. As long as I can rely on you to satisfy my demands, sexual and otherwise, I love you, but the moment you cease to supply what I want I don’t like you.’ So there is antagonism between you, there is separation, and when you feel separate from another there is no love. But if you can live with your wife without thought creating all these contradictory states, these endless quarrels in yourself, then perhaps—perhaps—you will know what love is. Then you are completely free and so is she, whereas if you depend on her for all your pleasure you are a slave to her. So when one loves there must be freedom, not only from the other person but from oneself.
This belonging to another, being psychologically nourished by another, depending on another—in all this there must always be anxiety, fear, jealousy, guilt, and so long as there is fear there is no love; a mind ridden with sorrow will never know what love is; sentimentality and emotionalism have nothing whatsoever to do with love. And so love is not to do with pleasure and desire.
Love is not the product of thought which is the past. Thought cannot possibly cultivate love. Love is not hedged about and caught in jealousy, for jealousy is of the past. Love is always active present. It is not ‘I will love’ or ‘I have loved’. If you know love you will not follow anybody. Love does not obey. When you love there is neither respect nor disrespect.
Don’t you know what it means really to love somebody to love without hate, without jealousy, without anger, without wanting to interfere with what he is doing or thinking, without condemning, without comparing—don’t you know what it means? Where there is love is there comparison? When you love someone with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your body, with your entire being, is there comparison? When you totally abandon yourself to that love there is not the other.
Does love have responsibility and duty, and will it use those words? When you do something out of duty is there any love in it? In duty there is no love. The structure of duty in which the human being is caught is destroying him. So long as you are compelled to do something because it is your duty you don’t love what you are doing. When there is love there is no duty and no responsibility.
Most parents unfortunately think they are responsible for their children and their sense of responsibility takes the form of telling them what they should do and what they should not do, what they should become and what they should not become. The parents want their children to have a secure position in society. What they call responsibility is part of that respectability they worship; and it seems to me that where there is respectability there is no order; they are concerned only with becoming a perfect bourgeois. When they prepare their children to fit into society they are perpetuating war, conflict and brutality. Do you call that care and love?
Really to care is to care as you would for a tree or a plant, watering it, studying its needs, the best soil for it, looking after it with gentleness and tenderness—but when you prepare your children to fit into society you are preparing them to be killed. If you loved your children you would have no war.
When you lose someone you love you shed tears—are your tears for yourself or for the one who is dead? Are you crying for yourself or for another? Have you ever cried for another? Have you ever cried for your son who was killed on the battlefield? You have cried, but do those tears come out of self-pity or have you cried because a human being has been killed? If you cry out of self-pity your tears have no meaning because you are concerned about yourself. If you are crying because you are bereft of one in whom you have invested a great deal of affection, it was not really affection. When you cry for your brother who dies cry for him. It is very easy to cry for yourself because he is gone. Apparently you are crying because your heart is touched, but it is not touched for him, it is only touched by self-pity and self-pity makes you hard, encloses you, makes you dull and stupid.
When you cry for yourself, is it love—crying because you are lonely, because you have been left, because you are no longer powerful—complaining of your lot, your environment—always you in tears? If you understand this, which means to come in contact with it as directly as you would touch a tree or a pillar or a hand, then you will see that sorrow is self-created, sorrow is created by thought, sorrow is the outcome of time. I had my brother three years ago, now he is dead, now I am lonely, aching, there is no one to whom I can look for comfort or companionship, and it brings tears to my eyes.
You can see all this happening inside yourself if you watch it. You can see it fully, completely, in one glance, not take analytical time over it. You can see in a moment the whole structure and nature of this shoddy little thing called ‘me’, my tears, my family, my nation, my belief, my religion—all that ugliness, it is all inside you. When you see it with your heart, not with your mind, when you see it from the very bottom of your heart, then you have the key that will end sorrow.
Sorrow and love cannot go together, but in the Christian world they have idealized suffering, put it on a cross and worshipped it, implying that you can never escape from suffering except through that one particular door, and this is the whole structure of an exploiting religious society.
So when you ask what love is, you may be too frightened to see the answer. It may mean complete upheaval; it may break up the family; you may discover that you do not love your wife or husband or children—do you?—you may have to shatter the house you have built, you may never go back to the temple.
But if you still want to find out, you will see that fear is not love, dependence is not love, jealousy is not love, possessiveness and domination are not love, responsibility and duty are not love, self-pity is not love, the agony of not being loved is not love, love is not the opposite of hate any more than humility is the opposite of vanity. So if you can eliminate all these, not by forcing them but by washing them away as the rain washes the dust of many days from a leaf, then perhaps you will come upon this strange flower which man always hungers after.
If you have not got love—not just in little drops but in abundance—if you are not filled with it—the world will go to disaster. You know intellectually that the unity of mankind is essential and that love is the only way, but who is going to teach you how to love? Will any authority, any method, any system, tell you how to love? If anyone tells you, it is not love. Can you say, ‘I will practise love. I will sit down day after day and think about it. I will practise being kind and gentle and force myself to pay attention to others’? Do you mean to say that you can discipline yourself to love, exercise the will to love? When you exercise discipline and will to love, love goes out of the window. By practising some method or system of loving you may become extraordinarily clever or more kindly or get into a state of non-violence, but that has nothing whatsoever to do with love.
In this torn desert world there is no love because pleasure and desire play the greatest roles, yet without love your daily life has no meaning. And you cannot have love if there is no beauty. Beauty is not something you see—not a beautiful tree, a beautiful picture, a beautiful building or a beautiful woman. There is beauty only when your heart and mind know what love is. Without love and that sense of beauty there is no virtue, and you know very well that, do what you will, improve society, feed the poor, you will only be creating more mischief, for without love there is only ugliness and poverty in your own heart and mind. But when there is love and beauty, whatever you do is right, whatever you do is in order. If you know how to love, then you can do what you like because it will solve all other problems.
So we reach the point: can the mind come upon love without discipline, without thought, without enforcement, without any book, any teacher or leader—come upon it as one comes upon a lovely sunset?
It seems to me that one thing is absolutely necessary and that is passion without motive—passion that is not the result of some commitment or attachment, passion that is not lust. A man who does not know what passion is will never know love because love can come into being only when there is total self-abandonment.
A mind that is seeking is not a passionate mind and to come upon love without seeking it is the only way to find it—to come upon it unknowingly and not as the result of any effort or experience. Such a love, you will find, is not of time; such a love is both personal and impersonal, is both the one and the many. Like a flower that has perfume you can smell it or pass it by. That flower is for everybody and for the one who takes trouble to breathe it deeply and look at it with delight. Whether one is very near in the garden, or very far away, it is the same to the flower because it is full of that perfume and therefore it is sharing with everybody.
Love is something that is new, fresh, alive. It has no yesterday and no tomorrow. It is beyond the turmoil of thought. It is only the innocent mind which knows what love is, and the innocent mind can live in the world which is not innocent. To find this extraordinary thing which man has sought endlessly through sacrifice, through worship, through relationship, through sex, through every form of pleasure and pain, is only possible when thought comes to understand itself and comes naturally to an end. Then love has no opposite, then love has no conflict.
You may ask, ‘If I find such a love, what happens to my wife, my children, my family? They must have security.’ When you put such a question you have never been outside the field of thought, the field of consciousness. When once you have been outside that field you will never ask such a question because then you will know what love is in which there is no thought and therefore no time. You may read this mesmerized and enchanted, but actually to go beyond thought and time—which means going beyond sorrow—is to be aware that there is a different dimension called love.
But you don’t know how to come to this extraordinary fount—so what do you do? If you don’t know what to do, you do nothing, don’t you? Absolutely nothing. Then inwardly you are completely silent. Do you understand what that means? It means that you are not seeking, not wanting, not pursuing; there is no centre at all. Then there is love
We can lean on God without any fear of becoming too dependent. As we grow in God’s life of grace, God is there to lead and support us each step of the way.
God prepared the way for Jesus by sending John the Baptist. John was a prophet, someone called to speak God’s message to humans.
We meet God and share in God’s grace through the sacraments, especially the Eucharist. Through the waters of Baptism, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we become children of God. Sacraments are our celebrations of God’s presence in our lives. God choses each one of us without any merit on our part. God’s gift of grace cannot be earned. God gives grace to us freely out of love of us. The gift of the Holy Spirit helps us trust completely in God’s plan for us and cooperate with it.
We are not always ready to cooperate with God’s plan. When we put ourselves at the centre of our lives, the Spirit of God is squeezed into a small corner. God’s Spirit leads us to pray even when it seems that words will not come. The Spirit shows us God’s love even when we have turned away from it. God’s Spirit helps us become s holy people.
We cannot see God’s Holy Spirit, though we can see the results of the Spirit’s work.
God’s grace is available throughout our journey of faith.
The people Jesus blesses are living signs of God’s kingdom. True happiness can be found only by seeking righteousness, the attitude of being in the right relationship in God’s kingdom.
We see ourselves and others as made in God’s image. We are children of God, and we have the love of God as well as many other blessings. The beatitudes help remind us of our attitude, our way of thinking, and our way of living in relationship in the kingdom of God.
When we become the best we can be, we become who God calls us to be. We want to be best selves because that is part of God’s plan for us. God calls us to do good, and virtue helps us respond to God’s call.
God will give us the gift of wisdom, from which all other virtues flow.
Throughout our faith journey there are signs that point to God’s presence in our lives. These signs are everywhere so that we do not miss coming to know, love, and serve God. Each sign is a revelation-that is, each is a part of the gradual process through which we come to know God. God shows us the way because he loves us.
Stop being blind to the signs of God’s love. Look at nature and how God takes care of it. Open yourself to God’s love. Trust in God. If you depend on God instead of trying to do everything by yourself, you will have what you really need.
God has given us many other gifts. God’s love and goodness also shine through in nature, for instance. Our family and friends are the closest living signs pointing to God. They show us every day that God is the source of everything that is good in life.
Catholics firmly believe that God, who is the source of all that is good in the world, does not cause evil. Evil, the opposite of God’s good plan for creation, comes about as a result of sin. We were created to share in God’s goodness and love. Our choice to turn away from God’s invitation is called sin. Sin does not come from God. The first humans chose to disobey, to turn away from God. Because of sin, our relationships with God, with ourselves, and with others suffer. Sin and the suffering that goes with it can blind our hearts, minds, and senses, so that we cannot see the signs of God’s goodness and beauty.
Even though sin and evil exist, there are many signs of God’s love in creation. All encourage us to reflect on what is good and beautiful in the world and to seek happiness in God, the giver of all god gifts.
Whenever we gather together to pray and to work, we believe that God is with us.
As believers, we want to be in touch with God and to be touched by God.
Some people did not see God in Jesus. They doubted that Jesus came from God.
By sending Jesus to heal and save us, God answered the question “Where are you, God?” Jesus is the perfect image of God. He shows God’s love for us fully and completely. In fact, the name Emmanuel, which is used to describe Jesus, means “God is with us.” Jesus made God present and alive among the people of our world. In his life of ministry, Jesus set out to love, create, and forgive-to show that God is with us. Faith is the power that enables us to believe that God is with us. Faith also helps us respond to God’s presence in our lives. Washed and reborn in the waters of Baptism, we become children of God and members of the Body of Christ. We come to know God through creation and through the Bible. We see God in Jesus.
Love and truth are God’s two main qualities.
We want to know who Jesus is, but he asks us what our inner dispositions are: because we will gain nothing through finding him unless we are disposed to submit ourselves to him.
God creates, this means first of all that God puts order. He organizes the world and gives meaning to our existence. His work is completed with the creation of humanity.
We are created in God’s image and of course, to respond to God. But love has first place in God’s plan and the long evolution of sexuality has been its preparation.
Because God is not subject to time, God lives in that permanent fillness which we call eternity and in which there is no before or after, no duration, no fatigue and no boredom.
God is the one who always gives first. Jesus will offer us rest; he will give us the bread of life and give himself as the friend. Allow yourselves to be conquered by the love of the Lord who is forming you even more than you can imagine.
Jesus brings the living water, which is God’s gift to us, his children: the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit; whom we receive, helps us worship God according to the truth.
God does not need the words of our prayers, but looks for simplicity, beauty and nobility in our spirit. The Spirit of God cannot be communicated except to those who seek the truth and live according to truth in a world of deception.
Each one of us is in some way the samaritan woman. Those who really seek the truth recognize it when it is presented to them.
We must first believe in the messenger of God.
The heart of prayer in the church is the mass wherein we thank God for the salvation of the world through the death and resurrection of Christ.
People, confused, are easily fooled propaganda and ideologies. People in every century have foretold the impending end of the world.
The Spirit helps the believers and inspires their prayer so that it may be heard. The Spirit enables us to understand and interpret Jesus’ words throughout all time.
This is the time to be reconciled with family members and neighbors, to let go of resentments. Since we are sinners, our salvation is worked out through suffering and through the cross.
Our desires and our prayers are powerful because we have come to the center from which God directs the forces saving humankind: because we work for eternity; our names are already written in heaven.
To evangelize does not mean to try to sell the Gospel but rather to prove its power to heal people from their demons. Stop being environs of famous people, kings and prophets of the past.
To pray is to take the time to listen, to meditate in silence on the work of God, it is to slow our desires, so as to pray attention only to God, secretly present, and slip into his will.