My No ‘No Free Use’ Paradigm

Some time ago I wrote an article about being used.

The problem I experience when being used is not that someone uses me, it is the resentment I am to feel after the event.  I don’t want to feel that way.  I don’t like thinking I did a good deed and then feel stupid about doing it.

So I developed a new method on how to deal with the avoidance of being used.

Firstly; I don’t go to the office of the potential User.

One of the key things users will do is tell you to come to them.  You spend your gas, you spend your time. You get to go to their office, to their world, to hear their problem.

What’s in it for you?

You will not be paid.  If you even say to them, when you reach the office and hear their problem, ‘I can do this for $X,’  they’ll try to work their brains to get your help, your free advice so that they can do it themselves.

Most users are very good at using.  They know how to make the sad face, to ask the questions, so that they can extract information from you.   Somehow you will say something which will give them an idea of how to proceed.

When you leave that office, spending your money on gas again, you are going to feel ‘oppressed’ even a little.

Having been there, done that, what I do is…

Agree to meet the person at his/her office a few days from now.   The day before that meeting I call them and say I can’t meet them there.   I’ll suggest another meeting, but this one at a Hotel.

Why?

Because they will have to buy me lunch or dinner.

As they don’t want to pay for my service, they will NEVER call me back.   Hence, I didn’t refuse to help, I was ready to help.  They simply did not contact me to help.

In this way, I don’t get used.   And I can feel rather pleased with myself as standing ready to help but they not organising my help.