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March 18, 2017 at 2:38 am

This is a basic question many of us would have asked many times in our life when we are faced with a situation which is difficult or something which we had not foreseen and had no control over. It can be something as simple as our money not getting transferred to the bank on time or it can be the passing away of someday very dear to us or it can be a financial loss which is too big and this when we are just recovering from another such setback from life. There are many similar and varied situations in which such a question is asked by many.

 

My take on this is many a time we are careless and are not cautious or careful about the way we have to go about things till the time we face the consequences and then we ask the question mentioned in the heading. But sometimes despite the best of our efforts and all the right intentions things do not go as planned as there are certain events taking place which are totally beyond our control. For such a thing I would say such a situation was preordained for us whether it may be good or bad it was supposed to happen in such a way at that time. The best thing for us would be simply accept it as an event which we were supposed to face in life and move on.

 

This may not be as easy when we face such situations but what are the options we have, nothing, but to pick the pieces out of the situation and just move on and move forward that is what life is. Whatever happens when we see in hindsight has a reason for it to happen. So we are just toys in the hand of time or fate so just face it and get on with life.

March 18, 2017 at 12:18 pm

I think some of the times we just have to go over the thought of why this happens to me. Instead we have to look at the life with thought that it happened. Now what? So the part where now what and onward is going to help us have some peace. I am not sure how many people go over the very thought of why this to now what. I think “now what?” is a good option to go over the depression of “why this happened to me?”. That is what I am thinking these days.

March 18, 2017 at 12:52 pm

True, you are very right when you say one should think ‘now what?’ when compared to the other ‘why this happened to me?’. That is basically picking up the pieces and moving on with life rather than mulling over the fact of why this happened to me. I feel so bad and miserable and the like. But the sad truth is not many people seem to get out of the situation. As they are stuck with the thought and it haunts them as the experience has been very bad.

 

Different people have different coping strategies and some recover fast and the remaining take more time to get over it. It depends on the personality of the individual and how good the person is at crisis management to tide over the thought. I fully agree with your approach. It takes time but it is the right approach and needs time to work on and practice. Best wishes and enjoy the weekend.

March 20, 2017 at 3:04 pm

I think I personally learned about those things using my experience. I had those problems. I used to stumble onto past for long. And I didn’t planned for future. So that’s how I got myself out of this negativity. Nobody helped me. Instead people around kept me into negativity and made fun of me. That being said, there are times when you have to come out of such situations on your own. And that way you’d be less weak and more strong to handle those situations. There are times when this just works out.

March 20, 2017 at 3:39 pm

I agree with you as experience is the best teacher. Generally what we tend to do is whenever we face a problem we think of just overcoming the problem and move on. But many a times we fail to do the introspection which is necessary to avoid such situations in the future for a lifetime. Like in this case planning for the future. Unfortunately society and people tend to pull down people who are already down which does no good to one in such a situation.

 

Self help is the best help in these situations. It is better to focus at the task on hand and try to improve on the situation. One step at a time will work wonders and will help regain the self confidence which one would have lost. If one learns to latch on to the threads and build on that it will help one in the long term. This experience of overcoming the issues faced will help in future situations.

March 23, 2017 at 3:50 am

why does this happened to me
You know from the sound of this question you know is a selfish question. if we asked why then who do we think that such a situation to happen to, sorry to say, I look at what ever that happen to you in this life is preparing you for what is ahead coming

March 23, 2017 at 3:33 pm

@Didams22

It is a good thing to ask certain questions which may be selfish as asking them will help our mind think when we are in trouble and help us rise to the occasion. They also help us analyze what has happened and where corrections need to be done to see that the situation does not repeat in the future in a similar way once more. It depends what one does with this thought and how one uses it to tide over the situation one is in effectively.

 

Self improvement is a must if we have to help others if we ourselves in a weak and vulnerable and are unable to think and introspect and understand the problems which we are facing. Then how can we help others around us. Our families will be dependent and so will the society too. So this question as to ‘Why does this happen to me is very much essential and useful for self improvement’. Thanks for your input and views.

March 23, 2017 at 5:03 pm

I think it may sound selfish but it is not. I think that question gets asked when we have positive intention towards the world. But the world we live in doesn’t actually work in karma. Instead it works on what we do and the random action of others. So we being good does not mean that good things are going to happen to us. Instead things be it good or bad will continue to happen. And we have really no control over what is going on. And that’s the part we have to be content with our own brain and heart.

March 23, 2017 at 7:48 pm

@Mahesh

I agree with you as whatever we do to the best of our ability is like the arrow we try to aim best and get at solving. Sometimes it works and at other times it does not. If we learn to accept whatever is there in our life and strive to do better by learning from our situation which has presented itself before us. We will be able to understand and appreciate why some things happen the way they do.

 

Karma is whatever we are supposed to do we do the same and do not expect or foresee what is going to be the result. Having this ancient Hindu philosophy does have its benefits which have been recorded and codified. The only thing is that sometimes things go well beyond what we expected and then this question of ‘Why does this happens to me?’ comes up. If we do not address this and make peace with the situation we are in. We will never be able to live and perform our tasks to our full potential. This should not happen to anyone. Appreciate you view and the inputs.

 

March 23, 2017 at 9:32 pm

Well everyone has his/ her own destiny.. good times pushe bad times and vise versa.

As humans we have to understand life that it never always work to somebody while always being bad to others.. but days up as well as others down..

Actually I do not like to call this luck, but destiny.

 

March 23, 2017 at 9:45 pm

@Tara Sam

Destiny or providence play an important role in the lives of humans or other living beings. When things are on track for the individual then there is abundance and one will start spending well and the thought of saving for a rainy day does not arise. And when things begin on the reverse trend then we tend to think why we had not saved some amount which would see us through the bad times or drought days we are in.

 

Every one as you rightly pointed out has his good or bad days in one life time and they are like two sides of the same coins. The issue comes when we get a big does of bad days which end up in years. We despite trying all the tricks which we have learnt in our life and used the experience which we have gained over the period of years things and issues do not seem to getting sorted out.

 

Many lose hope at this point and think ‘Why does this happen to me’? For those with patience and the will to survive will see through the bad times for those who do not possess this quality life will become a living hell. As they say experience is the best teacher. One should also stick to the principle never to give up.

March 24, 2017 at 3:46 am

Why me. This question why is widely said by every body because some thing unpleasant happen to us.
If the unpleasant situation does not happen to you who then do you want that unpleasant situation to happen to. I strongly believe that every thing happens to us is for a reason, either to prepare us or correct us for what is ahead of us.
Thank you

March 28, 2017 at 1:31 pm

This is a question that is frequently asked by everyone, why me, why did this have to happen to me and we usually dont get the answer rhat we are looking for. So when it gets to that point its obvious where we are supposed to seek tge answer. God is the only one who will give us this answers bot necessarily the way we expect to hear, but in his own way. Most of thr time when this happends we feel disappointed that God did not give us what we wanted, or he did not fulfil our desires. We should not feel duscouraged about it instead we sgould thank God that he closed a certain door, for there is always a good reason behind it. I am learning to never question God, but to accept things the way they are for i know he knows better

March 28, 2017 at 2:03 pm

@Krishna Kumar ,That is what we call life we have to fight for to survive and be happy again, Not all the time that we face odds there are only few times of them, most of the time order and manageable life.It is hard by the way to accept failures and face problems squarely, but only cowards retreat brave not, for in the tarmac of life one can stand solid if never give up. To give up means cowardice and to retreat means death of all life’s dreams. If this happens depression come in and be happy to kill the owner self, so instead of moving on, landing to the final ground for there will be many ill feelings to remember that triggers the emotion to weaken, so while hope is still there and courage still raging to lead the self to rise again, no reason why life may not be repaired, and moved on.

There is no use recalling the past and abstaining the fruitful present, to move on and acceptance is the best remedy to an aching soul.RISE WHERE YOU FALL AND BE HAPPY AGAIN. This is what God wants us to do to be happy for He is always carrying the other part of our burden so we will never fall and stumble to the ground. Amen to this.