Available Balance
How Often Is Seldom In Your Relationship That Turns You Off?
April 21, 2017

When you enter into a relationship, make sure that you already have the idea about it. It is not only the feeling called love you know and understand. There are more you ought to learn from others experiences, from your parents, friends and through reading. It is from them where you can have the complete adjustment should there be a turmoil that may attack your peaceful situation. The cause of conflict may not all the time derive from the dislikeness of your parents towards the opposite sex, but rather within the relationship itself. Expect something shaky someday in your relationship for there is no perfection without something to resolve for conflict is the source of total destruction should you and your bf – gf does not adjust his / her pride. There are times in your life that you cannot avoid fighting in words. The main cause of such fight is jealousy. Jealousy is number 1 enemy in a relationship. There are boyfriends-girlfriends that feel jealous without basis and no ears to like to listen to the explanation and what is felt is the raging anger and wanting to end the relationship. That is so unfair decision unless proven true.

Somehow too much tolerance and understanding of the actions of your love can be unbearable anymore and such would be the ground for breakup. How you wish both of you to be together during a very important occasion like attending a wedding of a relative for you want to introduce your boyfriend- girlfriend to your siblings, yet the invitation is turned down for some explanations that seem a lie too shallow reason to believe. At first, you feel hurt for being rejected and as the scenario is repeated, the next time around you no longer invite your boyfriend or girlfriend. There might be another instance where you want your boyfriend or girlfriend to be with you like attending your sister or brother’s graduation day. That is one function of someone in a relationship to be with your love for you never want her or him to be hurt and lonely being alone especially if you are that free to go, yet you refuse because of many explanations. No matter how you explain the other party never likes to believe you. The mind of your love runs away from you and sooner or later you may want to break your relationship for there seems no other in your life except yourself.

I want to share you my own example of this one time I invited my boyfriend to have lunch together, but he refused because he told me his dad called him to have lunch with him in their home.I feel no guilt from him at all believing it was justifiable refusal only to discover his lie. Then I ate alone in a fast food near my work place. My mind told me to stand up and to cross the road only to see my boyfriend with another lady and the painful one is I saw him carrying the umbrella of the girl to shed her from the hot sun. My heart that moment was squeezed with so much pain for that lady was my neighbor and classmate during college. The guy never knew about what I discovered. I ignored what I have learned from him but I was not anymore happy to be with his company. There were so many lies that he told me and I was not anymore affected with those for I only had waited for the right time to totally dismiss him in my life. That big lie that turned me 100% off was when I saw them kissing in a dark classroom for there was a sudden blackout. Our school guard met me in the lobby near my classroom with some students that lighted my path with their cellular phones’ light and guard told me he saw two people in dark classroom. Many students left when it was announced by the school head guard that all classes that evening were suspended due to sudden blackout. I told the guard to call those two people to leave the area, but he was ignored. He said those might be my students; I went straight to the room and to my surprise lights went back and oh my God my eyes declared the evidence of my boyfriend’s betrayal. I caught them kissing. My students looked at me for they knew he was my boyfriend also my co-teacher. They turned away to avoid my presence. The next day, I reported them to the school administration with a ground of moral ethics and immediately they were removed from school. They became jobless and I was not anymore feeling the pain for I already had told my heart to feel like a stone. That was an incredible talk of our campus between students and teachers. Betrayal does not end like heaven but hell.

Despite the world is stormed with many cheaters, but they are most of the time honest and faithful to their love of life. Those who are not lucky in love like me, let us not give up who knows someday great love may come across our way without our expectation that he or she will be the final one. I do not know if you agree with destiny for many believe that destiny is what we make it, but the best way is help the self to be strong and change something that may be the cause of an easy betrayal of our love of life, that is, our too much trust. Too much trust to our love of life may be abused, instead of cherishing and giving value to our caring and thoughtful ways. They are truly having crooked mind and distorted feeling for they never care our feeling and never feel what true love is. Do not cry over spilled milk for it can never become one again. Let the spilled milk spread to the ground and let the worms or ants licked them until everything perished in our sight and never feel the pain again.

Image Credit To Swellnet

Do people in your family look alike?

In every family, some siblings do look like and it shows the resemblance of their parents to them. It depends on how strong the parents’ chromosomes. Others don’t even look alike. The reason is it could be recessive traits from the blood line of grandparents. I think it would not be nice if the siblings will appear the same facial features with the exemption of identical twins.

My siblings and I are so unique in physical appearance. We don’t look alike that much. It wasn’t the case for children different fathers. At least, the mother’s chromosomes prevail in their veins. The family as a whole, we are considered to be a nuclear familial relationship. In my father side, they are 9 siblings in total. It was like having a village when the family has a reunion.

For some occasions, some children don’t look alike. But then, there are some instances that the father is skeptical if the child is his. That’s a ridiculous thing to think. This can happen if the father is working abroad and came back home with the wife having a new baby in the family. Perhaps the relationship was in trouble and unluckily, the wife impregnated prior the husband went to work abroad.

“How to solve this doubt of a husband?” It might be ridiculous for a guy to ask for a DNA test. But then, this is the last option to redeem the name of the wife to the people. Since it cannot be controlled that neighbors will make fussy over such situation, DNA testing is the best option to prove that the wife is faithful all along the relationship.

If this situation had been done, we can be sure that the relationship will not last. The trust was broken and insulting to a woman. There is no way can be patched up if things went sour and bitterness for some.

Image Credit: pixabay.com



Do you like the smell of freshly cut green grass?

In it summer in the Philippines, the local people were so busy doing some activities in their backyard. Cutting the green grasses would be ideal to make the place so peaceful to look at. This is what makes me feel so refreshing and I like the smell of cut green grasses. It is a scent that the residents love to smell.

When I was a child, I loved to help out in the backyard. I used to cut the grasses and let them dried. In the afternoon, I will burn them up. However, as the years go by. There is an ordinance from the city hall that burning things are not allowed now. Thus, we tend to pound the grasses and serves as fertilizer.

My siblings and I love to play in the backyard. When the grasses were cleared out, we can able to have a picnic. It wasn’t grandeur picnic. We buy some snacks in a store and have some lemonade. My father installed a tent too. It was a simple outdoor activity. And children can’t do nowadays.

Most children have their gadgets and even cannot go out. Now, as grown up, I am asking my youngest brother to cut grasses this weekend. We need to prepare for the coming of the new generation to have their summer vacation with us. More tents to be installed and have a bonfire at night. I hope to see my cousins and have the bonding moment as we used to be.

There are so many memories that will be treasured staying in our family house. Sooner or later, we cannot able to do it again. My father’s siblings are planning to sell it. As the old issue, inheritance makes the family circle in chaos. My family and I were planning to move out and find a new house to stay. Hopefully, there are some grasses that will be cut and remember the familiar smell of it.

Image Credit: pixabay.com



This is the rest of my life

I disappointed deeply this winter, not only into my employer, into my family but also into some of my friends.

Now I know I write my personal posts all the time, but because I solve this thing with myself hardly I will be able to move on.
It is not all about sleeping properly, being taking care of yourself properly, the right food and thinking optimistic… I actually have to have a reason to move on.

The first time when m y employer told me that he can’t grant me a prolong vacation I broke in tears. I planned to take a prolonged vacation to solve this burning family issue with an elderly man in my family who required assistance at home, but could not count in with his own children.

I tho high that my employer will be full of understanding. One reason I was hoping to see him melt over this is because I was providing this assistance completely free and in good will, but aside that my family was forcing it – both emotionally and socially on me. So, I was really counting in with my employer’s good will that when this problem is solved I can go back to my job.
But, instead of the understanding, I was met by his cold calculation. He told me pretty straight forward that I am in failure if I think he will let me go and come back like this and I will probably get pregnant in a process…

Now, that was an insult right in a start. First, I told him, I have three children at home already, I don’t want more… He just said just because you have three doesn’t mean you can’t have more, what are you infertile… But, I was in shock I asked him how come he is that way, he said I should go home and stay home if I don’t care for my job and career. I said, what a career, I work only 2 hours in the day, and when I am here, I slave. When b a hall needs cleaning, I do that with no pay extra hours.
Of course, I was fired. He took a younger and ‘more capable’ women to do this. Do you know how bad you feel, not even being thirty and somebody calls you old?

After that, initial shock, I went to see my mother and my friends. My mother was sympathetic how much a woman of her age can be, not much. My friends, which I consider close and dear to me asked me how could I expect something else for me.

But it was said with a tone that I want a special treatment for myself. My job was top notch, and I think they might get a bit jealous over it. Because my friends were either home with children or working less interesting jobs.

At least now I know who are my true friends, and there is not much of that either. I am hugely disappointed by all that happened to me, and while I battle depression and all that came to it I have to decide what to do with rest of my life besides being only a mother and a housewife.

Why do people stay together if there is no more love?

Why do people stay together if there is no more love? No, idea.
Why do people fight, beat each other in form of their juvenile kids and other family members, but still stay together?
Why women take beatings for granted and stay in the hateful marriages?
Sincerely, I am completely confused by that thing. Especially with the marriage who are tested by the violence and drunk husbands.
Or drugged ones. When I read about celebrities with money, every second was high on drugs drinking and stomping poor wife but nobody has done more but news people who filled the tabloids for the sake of money and audience reading the newest gossip. How rude…
And when a woman comes out, they victim blame her and drag across the mud like if she was asking for that.
People are nasty I know because they refuse to believe that a sweet person outside is a wife-beating monster at home.
If you don’t love somebody, you should flee and find the better fitting partner, because it is obvious that the present one is not good enough for you.
But, love struck people are not easily shaken off of their bad habit of falling for the less fortunate with no brains and manners.
They think it is that something. maybe a special flavor of a rotten character drives them crazy, I don’t know.
So, why people don’t come clean and admit they don’t want a relationship anymore? A reason is very simple, they will rather ruin it with infidelity and unhappy rather marriage but to admit they ‘gave up’. In the fact the is no giving up, but simply not fitting together.
Infidelity is not always an accident that just happened, sometimes is a punishment performed and served to the unfitting partner who refuses to see the reality.
When it comes to that, two are blaming each other but never on himself because that other must be the first who ruined ‘s something so perfect’. But, there was never something perfect, because if it was there – they will never think of going to the way they went, yes?
I believe it is so, people will rather do this and the is also one another reason. A law. There are consequences to bear if any of the partners decides to quit on them marriage, even if it is unhappy and bitter for the both. A society gives the consequences, and a community alike. Because the people always look who is a guilty one but never takes it as a natural end of anything that never meant to be. It si over, bury it and move on. But, no! A community will label and sometimes even punish anyone who admits in this way to be less than a perfect, even if it is better ‘perfect’ being single but in the rotten marriage.
There is also another thing when a marriage ends with children. If there are children involved then there is an entire circus.
I can’t imagine how anyone survives such a harsh labeling. This is a reason why many martial partners stay in the unhappy marriages and bare the consequences of a hateful life.

Is fidelity treated differently in the East and the West?

Lately, more and more often on television and in the press sounds the word infidelity. More and more we ask why in our century are so many painful separations of two people once loved each other. Broadly speaking, infidelity is a betrayal of intimacy. It is seen somewhat differently in the East and the West. There are no things, characteristic of the Western culture in the Eastern countries, such as showing an attention of man to woman. There it would be a great disrespect. For instance, even today India has paternal duty to marry a daughter to a suitable man, that she would be happy and fully served. Since in those countries are believed that a young girl is inexperienced and is not able to choose herself a right man, so the father takes care about the daughter.

Easterners believe that man first of all is the soul and only then the body. In most cases, parents consult about child marriage and the young people only during the wedding ceremony for the first time sees one another. What’s the strangest thing, no one of East people complaint about such order, but there is no such thing as divorces. Many years ago we also had no divorces; people were aware of the need to live together and lived. But there is another question, did they were happy?

So why in the West, including my country, today is so much infidelity and divorces? I think, people just do not realize what is the meaning of life, what is happiness. Today’s man of Western culture is waiting nothing more out of life just the pleasures. People look first at the physical rather than the inner beauty of the human. When you create a family, there come responsibilities and challenges, and if still add an inability to manage the home and bring up children, after a while people are saturated with pleasure and love disappears. If there is no respect, not try to adapt to the changed needs of each other’s. So, the desire to be loved, anger on the second half forces to look for consolation and pleasure elsewhere. Therefore, people over life sometimes create a four or even more marriages but still not feel happy. Why?

It always seems that the other person will be different and with him you will not repeat the same mistakes. However, you will again receive another person such as you are yourself. Because a man attracts similar to himself. If people did not repent, did not change themselves, did not clean their inner world, but dived headlong into another marriage, they will face again with the same problem.

I would like to add that infidelity is often considered to be the biggest problem that has arisen in marriage, but the opposite is true – the problems provide a basis for the infidelity. We all try to avoid loneliness and to find happiness in personal relationships. However, attachment to other people, we become the most lonely and suffering. The lust is a need for love and inner emptiness that we are trying to fill with external things. Love on the contrary, is the fullness state of great inner strength and complete satisfaction status. Rather than spread ourselves selfless love, we want to, and sometimes even require others to love us. Very often we tie up to another human being or trying to tie him to ourselves and only make our life more difficult, and do not allow to develop neither ourselves nor him.


Picture by Pixabay.com

6 Steps To Take After Adultery In Your Relationship

One of the worst things that can happen in a relationship is adultery. It is hurtful and humiliating. There is a sense of anger, betrayal and extreme sadness. These feelings can be overwhelming and if they aren’t dealt with correctly the healing process may never happen. Some marriages survive an affair, but some do not. The raw emotions that come up immediately after learning about the affair can make it difficult to make appropriate decisions. Here are some steps to take about your initial reactions and decisions after finding out this has happened to you:

1. Try to calm down and slow the thinking process. You won’t want to make quick decisions or react in a way you may be sorry for later. You are emotionally traumatized and probably are feeling angry and hurt. It will take you some time to calm down and think in a rational way.

2. Calculate your next step. It is probably best to remove yourself from the person and situation. Perhaps one of the parties should leave which will give you space.Having some time to think clearly and be more rational.

3. Seek out an objective person to talk to. A counselor is probably a better choice than seeking out a close friend or family member who is more apt to be hurt and angry too. Speaking with someone in a objective and professional capacity gives you the opportunity to express your feelings and help you to organize your thoughts.

4. Talk to your partner. After you have had time to fully process the situation you will want to talk to your partner.It is smart to lay some ground rules first. The rules may include giving you the opportunity to talk first and to not talk until you have been able to share what you need to. Tell this person how you feel and what you need and want to see happen.

5. Listen to your partner. Find the underlying cause of the affair. Was this a frivolous one time affair? Was it a mid life crisis? Has this been going on for awhile or, is it a one time thing? With this knowledge can the marriage be repaired?

6. Make a conscious and rational decision. After fully evaluating your marriage and your feelings you need to decide how you want to proceed. Salvaging your marriage may mean some counseling for both of you. Trust and forgiveness is needed to salvage the relationship. Both parties have to be on board. There must be a responsible commitment to moving forward.

Bible 3

Bible 3
Being a loyalist is of great importance to God. Many people believe that God loves those who can stand for Him no matter the odds of life. This means that one must believe that God is already at work in his or her relationship. This also mean that men and women must be in the side of God n order to attract His blessings, especially that of the gift of children.
Parading yourself that you belong to God gives you an edge over all others who are hypocritical. In this life, a person needs to define his relationship with God and make people know of his stand with and about God. No wonder, you can see today that God fulfilled his promises to Abraham. The writer of Genesis records, “ By myself have I sworn, says the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son: That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies; And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice. (Gen 22:16-18).
The Jews are Abraham’s physical Children and the Christians are his spiritual children. You need your own family altar to be an achiever. Joshua did this and he remained attached to God all the days of His life. He declared,” And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.(Joshua 25:14).
The service of Joshua before God in the midst of the Israelites was successful because he was not ashamed of “Yahweh”, the God of Israel , even when the majority of his countrymen were idolatrous

The Need For Counseling for Procreation
Ekechukwu June 2014 016

Ekechukwu June 2014 016e
I counselled my classmate,friend and ministerial collegue who had lived with his wife for 12 years without the fruit ot the womb, with these tips. Today he and his wife are happy with 4 children.They are planning to go for family planning.This couple always see to my welfare any time I visit them.Then they had no child.It was on my third visit that I was inspired to brake” the tip of the icebag” by intruding to counsel them with tips.THREE YEARS AGO,THEIR FIRST SET OF TWINS (MALE AND FEMALE) WERE SHOWN ON THE NATIONAL TELEVISION AUTHORITY,NEWSLINE PROGRAMME ON A SUNDAY EVENING.
Many marriages are on the brink of collapse because of the lack of the fruit of the womb.Some have been recovered through counseling. Trusting God and moving under His discipline makes a difference.
Hiding and keeping quiet cannot solve the problem.Accusations and developing hatred with your spouse cannot solve it.Marrying another wife or husband will increase the trouble because people will count for you how many relationships you have quitted.
Now if marriage has been contracted,and children are not coming as days,months and years roll bye, if there is no known medical issue,then counseling is good for an interested reader.Start by claiming that God can give you your own children,because he has the factory that produces children before he created this earth .This is because your own children exists spiritually before they are born physically.See what Prophet Jeremiah wrote,” Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, , (Jeremiah 1:5)
Also, see,what the writer of Deutronomy penned down,” Thou shall be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you or among your cattle”. (Deut.7:14).Here faith to believe the word of God is needed, which “is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”

The Points I Use To Keep My Marriage Secure 3
Sam Ekechukwu May 2014 008

Sam Ekechukwu May 2014 008
Helping In The Kitchen
One of the points I use to keep my marriage secure is helping to work in the kitchen. There are many activities that go on in the kitchen. Washing the dishes, spoons and knives and the pots. I Scrub the kitchen floor. I blend tomatoes, pepper and other fruits for cooking.
Most times I cook family food if my wife is not at home or sick. It is important for a man to know how to attend to household duties. The reason why some men get entangled with other women when their wives travel or sick in hospital is because of lack of knowledge of domestic chores. It is important for young men to learn kitchen duties. This is because when they grow up, they will be useful in the family.

2. Helping to look after the babies especially at nights
I secure my marriage by helping my wife to look after our baby at night. It is quite interesting to carry a baby at night while my wife is preparing baby food. I help her carry the crying child at night. Most times, children like their fathers to carry them, but when they want food, they look for their mothers. Babies are God’s gift not only to the woman but also the wife.
Other issue is looking after the baby when he or she is sick. I assist my wife to handle the treatment of our children. I participate in purchasing baby wears, washing baby cups, spoons and clothes. The reason is because they are my children who bear my name. It is my responsibility to see to their wellbeing.
Security of a family is mostly the duty of the man. Why I help my wife is because I want her to know that she is not alone in the business of the family. Children also reciprocate by learning very fast.