My mother did spank us, but it was not very often. Spanking was the way that children were disciplined back then. My father never had to because we were daddy’s girls so we did not want to disappoint him or get him mad at us for any reason.  I did not feel hate towards my parents for them spanking me nor did I feel distant from them. I was taught…[Read more]

My dad never spank me, but my mom did beat us with something, and I don’t even remember what that was, but I remember it was not a cane, not a stick, as she didn’t really mean to hurt us or make us painful. But, the problem is I don’t even remember why she beat me. So, did spanking or beating really discipline the child? I really doubt so.

Some…[Read more]

Some sorts of discipline are needed to teach the children, and spanking is old! Though I don’t totally or completely think it is so bad if the spanking is not in a physical abuse form. A light tap on the bottom usually does it well enough to bring the child back from his tantrum.

Sent them to their room or corner should be sufficient enough for…[Read more]

@grecy095, oh definitely it probably does affect your relationships.  I think that is why I was attracted to alcoholics, they were abusive.  I was even attracted to men that were 10 years older, looking for a “father” figure.  It’s hard to get over, when you’re around abuse, because you think that is “normal.” 🙁

it affects me big time @4cryingoutloud because it makes me not try to say yes to a suitor and start relationship because I am thinking I will end the same way. Though my parents are like that, they never gave up with each other and that is making me inspired as well, but still the abuse is there.

@slayer08/

you are right!

When I was young, my bro and I were repeatedly spanked by my mom with one or 2 canes.

She bought the canes from the night market, tie them up together to make the cane thicker.

She caned us whenever we are picky on food, didn’t do homework, didn’t listen to her, etc.

She don’t use verbal advice because her mom never…[Read more]

@swalia/

wow, that was a good trick!

Using the person’s name in your first reply worked out well.

You know, my son isn’t clever at this type of trick.

When dad asked him whom he liked best, he said MOMMY, look at disappointed daddy face !

He put me in first place, I know that, he is much closer to me.

My teenager on the other hand is much…[Read more]

@swalia/

thanks for , your share.

Being the only child it is difficult to say who you are closer too.

Both parents are good to you, because you are the apple of the eye.

By means, you are right, saying papa and mama is the best answer.

They won’t feel unfair and judgmental.

Good answer my friend.

@morgoodie/
thanks for sharing with us.

I guessed that different teens in different part of the world behaves differently.

But you are right, feeing like an alien with parents is one reason.

That makes the parents feel distant with the teen.

Hence, it is up to parents to try to enhance the teen -parent bonding.

At least you had basement.…[Read more]

@kaka135/

thanks for your share. Yes we do have a spare key to her room. But we never use it because she does open the door when we knocked it louder.

She can’t hear with the ear plug in her ears.

Otherwise, she would be sleeping but awakens easily with the slightest knock.

If I am not wrong , she learned to lock herself in the room when…[Read more]

@peachpurple, hope you got help for the gallstones?  I can relate to gallbladder problems, in fact I had mine removed.

@grecy95, yes that would be bulimia.  That’s what I would do.  At first I made myself throw up, then it just became automatic every time I ate I would just throw up.  I knew no matter what I ate I was going to get fat and I did…[Read more]

@grecy095, absolutely!!  Seeing a parent being abused can also cause problems in one’s life as well.  Some times we fall into situations that are abused parents go through, thinking that that is the way all women should be treated and that’s NOT right either.  Glad you mentioned this, because you witnessed abuse to your mother and that can have ef…[Read more]

I think it’s really not easy to be a parent to a teenaged child. I always think it’s challenging.

Frankly speaking, I totally did not remember, but my younger sister told me I always locked myself in the room when I was in high school. I shared the room with my younger sister, and as I was staying in the hostel during high school, she didn’t get…[Read more]

When I was a teenager, I used to shut myself in my bedroom or down in the basement all of the time. I was basically a loner and I liked to be alone. I think as a teenager you are trying to distance yourself from your parents because you are trying to create a sense of independence and can only be that way when you are away from everyone. Teens do…[Read more]

@grecy095/

you got a point there sis.

It is easier to say than to be done.

My hubby and I tried talking to our teenager.

Asking her why she had to lock herself in the room.

She said she needed privacy and hated when someone just barge into her room without knocking the door. My son does that daily. Already told him not to do that because…[Read more]

@peachpurple are you still doing it now?

@4cryingoutloud I never had an eating disorder but I know a classmate has bulimia, is that the right term? She was fat before and doesn’t want to get fatter so she eats what she wants to eat but vomit after it. She put a finger to touch her throat and there is a mark on her finger that she is putting it…[Read more]

Nope I never had earting disorder problem but I did had throwing up because I forced myself to do it.

I had gallstones in my gallbladder.

So, everytime I eat food, I had sharp pain in the between my diaphram.

Those stones were stuck in the gallbladder pipeline .

So, the bile duct couldn’t move forward.

So, in order to stop the pain, I had to…[Read more]

I know I suffered abuse from my father, verbal abuse, not specifically to me but to my mother. My father verbally abuse my mother and I know it affects my decision to get myself to have my own family, to tie up in a marriage because I don’t want that to happen to me too.I don’t want a very abusive husband. I am praying he is not that kind. Up…[Read more]