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I think those are the better reason why you should stop helping someone. Me, I and my brother are not in good terms right now because he never help us at home.He is not always there when we need him. I stop helping him because he can’t be of help and he can barely help himself. It seems he doesn’t have any dream.
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I may consider this as a serious family matter. This is a father-mother responsibility. A family should have a father who takes the lead while the mother is supporting the father. In doing their respective job, their children would be taken care of.
We did this in our own family. Every Monday, we hold our family home evening with all our children present. We have our short program with a prayer, with a singing of the hymn, reading the scriptures from the Bible. As we do them regularly, we find no problem with our six children. We also go to the Church every Sunday as a family.
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It has nothing to do with you but everything to do with your ungrateful MIL. You have to diplomatically withdraw from the scene giving excuses and not letting her know that you are giving her back for her ingratitude. See if it works.
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