Monitor what you say to your children.

It is making considerable damage to the bringing up the children often heard uttered phrases of parents. Never compare one child with other one saying that one of them is better, smarter and so on. It is one of the most effective ways to set at variance brothers and sisters very often used by parents. But such comparisons offend children, and comparisons with sisters and brothers are twice as severe. They provoke competition and jealousy.  Nothing good cannot be achieved with these words.

Regular responsibility overthrow to spouse is a gradual, but inexorable loss of authority in the eyes of a child. If child ask you, never send him to your spouse. Where there is no authority, there cannot be any talk about obedience and respect. And never hurry up your child saying that if he will not hurry, you will leave him at home. This phrase sounds everywhere – at home, in shops, on the streets. Using the fear of children to being left at home is not only cruel, but also stupid, because very soon the child will understand that it is simply a lie.

Often parents say that if child will behave badly, the witch or bugaboo or cop will take out him. The world of child’s irrational fears is so great that the adding the policemen, doctors or other fictional or absolutely real thing is time to qualify as violence against the child’s psyche.

You and lazy, ignoramus and so on… It is absolutely wrong to believe that the insult and humiliation will force a child to prove that he is better. It is far more likely that the child will come to terms with the labels and will behave exactly as it programmed by parents.

We have no money for your toys, books, chocolates… It would seem, saying that there is no money is understandable and simple reason, which can lead to refusal to buy something. However, the child hears this phrase and makes his own conclusions. First, he starts to think that money is the most important thing in life, you can buy absolutely everything if you have money, and lack of money cause many problems. Second, the child begins to assess their parental authority by family wealth.

Give him your toy, you are older… Toys are child’s personal belongings and parents simply do not have the right to command to give them to someone else. Doing this parents demonstrate their power and lack of rights of the child. The child himself can dispose of his toys, exchange them with others, play himself or lend. Independence is not just being able to eat by yourself or to tie the shoes, but also the right to make decisions. Education of self-sufficiency begins from earliest childhood.

Do not worry, it’s all nonsense… What adults seem as nonsense and trivia, for children may seem like a very serious problem. And when a child, told of his trouble, receives that it is nothing important, he cannot understand why his problems parents see as just trifles. And further all is simple – the next time child will not come to his parents when he gets problems, both with serious problems and with childish and fancied.

 

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