Forget happiness, if you want to be happy

Do you think that in order to be happy we have to chase happiness? I do not think so. In fact, people who too much focus on happiness are unhappy. Some people hang on to the idea of happiness, that it just let it through their hands. Waiting till comes this grand moment of euphoria, we miss happiness, which is close to us. Or, once tasted great joy, we are beginning to compare it with other events, and so decline it in value and taking away the positive emotions from ourselves.

Of course, the long-awaited raise in career does not match to typical your child’s performance in the concert, but properly evaluated this event also will give you pleasant sensations.

Some events are emotionally stronger than others, but that does not mean that we have to chase and wait for only those things that will give the greatest euphoria. All the pleasant moments are important, but we need to learn to observe it and enjoy. If all we would carry on the rule of happiness and measure all events, we would rarely experience positive emotions. Sometimes even 2 cm of happiness are much.

The chase of happiness is shallow, short-lived and hedonistic goal. Moreover, we not only reach it, but get the opposite result. People who prefer happiness feel lonelier than those who do not focus on it. Paradoxically, the greater importance we give to happiness, the unhappier we are.

I am not saying that wish to be happy is bad, but it is not the only area in which we should pay attention.  Happy life is like a matrix consisting of happy events, occasionally – sadness, sense perception, playfulness, psychological flexibility, autonomy, mastery and a sense of belonging. You should celebrate every win in any of these areas and too look beyond happiness. It will come when we least expect it.

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