Categories: Pregnancy & Parenting

Dilemma of Stay At Home Mom

I often used to think about it.

Did I made the right or wrong decision to resign from my full-time job with a decent monthly salary to a Stay at Home Mom for good?

In our modern techno society, most women ( who are married and have kids), are working hard to feed her family.

Single parent to slog herself because she has no one to turn to but women with spouse, have the option to work on a 9 to 5 job or become a full-time homemaker.

What is work

In everyone’s common view, “WORK” means to perform tasks in order to be paid in the form of money or cheques.

However, there are many types of “WORK” which includes :

  • Voluntary work
  • Domestic household work
  • Freelance work

 

These type of work is similar to a full-time job at the office where mothers are separated from their children for several hours per day.

A mom could decide after discussion with spouse, whether she is going to look after the children on her own or arrange a childcare centre or a babysitter to look after them but she has to pay for the wages.

Ironically, majority of working mom would perceive other people or her mother / mother-in-law to care the children , for the sake of money.

 

The dilemmas of stay at home mom

 

#1- Decisions-right or wrong

A mother’s though about working or to stay at home do not only involve with money alone.

After numerous discussions, she will make her final decision based on:

  • her image and reputation
  • her social contact- friends, clients, relatives
  • her career-money related
  • her relationship wit her spouse
  • her relationship with her children
  • whether she prefers to be with her children 24 hours a day 

 

#2- Her Honest Feelings

Most women find that the decision o be a stay at home mom is quite confusing , worrying, lost and filled with anxiety.

If a mom is honest with her feelings, it would be much clearer and easier to see the future path of her decision is right or wrong.

A woman who had been working all her lifetime, may find it uneasy, unable to cope with her children tantrums, habits, crying, whining because she is inexperienced with taking care of them for a full day.

A mom who works, feel lonely, worried and missed her babies at home.

She yearns to be with her babies all the time but she wanted to earn money too.

Hence, it is complicated if she couldn’t let go of one side.

Related Post

Being honest to yourself , gives you more choice to choose as there are options ahead.

 

#3- Her Children Needs

In a mother’s point of view, her children are precious and their welfare is extremely important.

She is concerned of her children’s needs, whether they needed her mothering care or another caregiver, grandmother or babysitter could provide the same responsibilities as a mother.

These needs included:

  • protected from harm – strangers
  • kept warm
  • fed 3 times a day with nutritious food and beverages
  • someone to play with (companionship)
  • someone who is attentive towards her child’s sensitive feelings
  • responsive to her child’s questions
  • shower with loving care whenever a child needed a hug or words of advice

 

Not every caregiver/ childcare center or grandparents are able to provide these needs.

Hence, you might consider stay at home to perform those needs for your children which you will be more confident and assured.

Surprisingly, many mothers would ultimately choose to be a stay at home  mom with their babies or children right after delivery.

Even though they had planned to continue working , they would rather delay going back and looked for part-time job or freelancer job which can be arrange to work at home.

As for me, I had been a stay at home mom for the past 10 years after the birth of my son.

I am glad that my decision is right, which I had became a home based writer ever since.

 

 

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  • peachpurple

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    • “A wise woman builds her home.” Whatever is included in that process, i.e. building your home … be is deciding to stay at home, working a job outside the home, etc. … if you goal is to build your home and have a wonderful family life, your heart is in the right place. For most women, if their heart is in the right place, their family knows that and will help them make a happy home. Do what works for you and your family. Don't let other people tell you what you're supposed to do IN YOUR HOUSE. Because if you follow their advice and your home life gets damaged, they're not going to offer any help fixing it back! They'll walk off and leave you with the mess that they helped create!

    • A stay at home mum has too many things to think about and also take care of. Many women opt to work because the work of a work at home mum is quite hard it's not as easy as it may sound of seem. Taking care of children is the hardest job ever that women have to face whether they are working other jobs or not. It entails so much the waking up early, doing laundry cooking an the like. Many women would like to take the time to stay home and take care of their children for free that their children may not fall into temptation of misbehave. I may agree to the idea of staying home but at times a woman just needs her freedom sometimes and not depend her husband for everything. That's why some of them just want to have a job of their own.

    • As I have said in my many articles that woman means construction and man means destruction. All women must build their homes for their children as you see that a male sparrow builds home first before choosing the female sparrow I saw in The National Geographic Channel. Looking at the scene I wondered really how the male sparrow trapped a female sparrow and after mating the male flew in search of fod.

      And that child needs his own house. He has his own needs that are not personal. Or professional. And these needs become priority because he/she is too small to build his/her own house. We pull more blocks from our various houses. Relationships change. Career goals change. Our personal house falls to the side.

      I have had a hard time finding my own little house... The one I started with. The one I have always told others to maintain. The one that belonged SOLELY to me. The one that had nothing to do with my marriage, career, children...

      I thought of all the women -- all the mothers, who some days find themselves resenting the other houses... and all of the bricks they had to pull from their own roofs to build new, structurally sound homes for spouses, and jobs and children

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