boy crying taken by pixabay
All parents have the right to punish and discipline
their kids but not the grandparents or other family
members.
Many parents including myself, felt the need to
punish our kids once a while when the situation gets
out of hand.
Ironically, there are parents who can successfully
discipline their kids without raising their hands with
rods.
In my opinion, this solely depends on how parents
themselves are being brought up by their own
parents ( the grandparents ).
Do you punish your kids with slapping or spanking?
During my childhood days, my mom always used a
feather duster or a cane made from rotan (rattan )
to spank my brother and I.
As normal mischievous and naughty kids do, we
often made our mom angry by answered her back,
yelled at her or purposely did naughty actions which
she often lose her cool and patience.
In addition, my mom is a hot tempered person, even
our old neighbors could easily made her angry with
gossips.
She used to spank us with the rotan (cane ) quite
severely, not once but 10 swipes per spanking
session.
You could just imagine 10 stripes of rotan marks
on our bodies that left red burning marks which had
hurt us emotionally and physically.
We often thought of ways to protect ourselves when
she lost her control, ranging from used books to slip
into our shorts to protect our buttocks, used our
bare hands to shield the cane from hitting our limbs
and hide behind our dad as our life saver.
If kids are punished frequently for good reasons such
as stealing, fighting or bullying ( unreasonable
reasons ), some kids may take precautions to avoid
future same mistakes to stop the punishment.
However, telling lies, making sarcastic remarks,
answering back and bad mannerism should not be
punish with smacking or spanking.
I think reprimand, scolding or talking calmly should
be sufficient to bring back senses to the kids.
I cannot guarantee that punishment would be the
right way to discipline kids as I could see many of
them remained the same behavior even after severe
punishment conducted by the parents.
Instead, punishment left deep pain emotionally and
physically that had left a scar in the child memory.
Of course, there are innocent kids who did change
for better in a short period to cease the spanking
session.
Usually kids who are 5 years and above who had
attended kindy school, behaved better and became
smarter.
My mom in law gave me a cane to spank my kids
but I never spank them.
Instead, I used the cane to give them a warning to
stop their misbehavior by hitting the floor or things
such as the table or furniture to threaten them.
I had been hurt before and it did left lots of bad
emotional memories that had embedded in my brain.
I do not want my kids to have the same feelings as
I did.
Of course, there are times when situation gets out of
control that scolding and reprimands did not work,
I had to smack their buttocks to stop it.
It hurts, for both of us.
We cried in each other arms, my kids kept
apologizing to me as I explained to them for my
smacking reasons.
Punishment is not vital and should be avoided at all
means if possible.
Do you smack or spank your kids when they became unreasonable?
What do you do to avoid punishment?
Do share with me your opinion. I would love to hear from you.
Cheers!!
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View Comments
I have my own personal beliefs on reprending my children. I believe that explaining why they are being punished is helpful. Letting your child know why they are being punished and know right from wrong is .y go to. As a last resort will I spank. If it is an on going thing and they know they should not be doing it. I would rather try to get the message across in a non physical manner than resort to a spanning.
It is very necessary how else would they know that they are doing something wrong. Scolding or talking to them will not solve th3 problem because they will eventually get used to that and get worse on their mistakes, but canning or punishments who would want to get used to such life? I believe there is no one who would want that. Back in th3 days I won't say that we were beaten thoroughly but punches were th3 order of the day, none of us wanted to cross my mum's path or my dad's path in the wrong way coz we knew what would follow was not so good. So it was upto is to decide do we want punishments of about them, we all used to try and avoid any trouble with our parents. I guess we were good kids when we grew up coz we hardly got beatings out parents brought us up well. And again it's not only the parents who taught you manners grandparents also had a part to play, so we had no room to be rude to anyone else you would have to deal with the whole community. For me yes I would spank my child when he/she becomes unruly teaches them to behave like the saying goes spare the rod and spoil the child.
I think the best way to reprimand children is to talk to them like adults. I believe it works. Teaching them what is good and what is good through discussion is the best way. What is more important is to train them through our actions and in-actions. We should always bare it in our minds that whatever we do they will surely emulate us.
I think that punishment is must for children because evil spirit enters into the children mind and compel them to make mischief as I have read in all holy books and the the Mischief of the Spirit.
But some parents are opposite to my view and want to talk children like an adult is not a positive approach to mend the naughty children at home and out of home.
Psychologist say about children punishment in these words....
Parents should avoid physical punishment. If they find themselves using it, then something is wrong and their method of discipline is not working. They may as well admit that spanking is more effective in relieving the parents' frustration than in teaching the child self-control. More effective methods are needed.
Punishment by itself doesn’t really work. It teaches children only what they shouldn’t do. It doesn’t guide them towards what they should do, so it doesn’t work in changing their behaviour. It might also have negative long-term effects on children.
In families where parents yell, threaten and punish children, children often keep behaving in challenging ways.
What does work?
Linking the punishment, or negative consequence, to your child’s behaviour and showing your child how you’d like her to behave will help in improving her behaviour. For example, if your child takes a biscuit without asking, she might have to practise asking for the biscuit using her manners.
Punishment also works better when you balance punishment with praise and rewards for good behaviour.
Praise and rewards for good behaviour teaches your child what to do and how to behave – for example, ‘Good listening, Callum’. And when your child gets praise for behaving well, he’s likely to want to keep behaving that way. This means you probably won’t need to use negative consequences or punishment as much.
Also, your child needs a warm and loving family environment to grow and develop. She needs you to guide her with family rules and to let her know what behaviour you expect from her. A key way to do this is by talking and listening to your child
I once tried to wear extra underwear and put a book in my pants so the whip wouldn't hurt so much. But when my father found out he was so angry he made me strip naked and whipped me twice as long. And I got every whipping naked after that, which hurts so much more.