The Award Ceremony; and How Soon Come Works

In a previous article I mentioned how I used the propensity of Jamaicans to always arrive late to my benefit.

In the article I touched on an Awards Ceremony, but it really deserves its own article, as it is a story worth telling.

The organisation was rewarding women who had made a difference.  There were a lot of Awards in a number of categories.  Our guest speaker was a famous celebrity.

The problem was money.

The organisation didn’t have the money to put on the kind of function it wished.  Maybe one of the officers stole the money, maybe we didn’t take real prices into consideration.

However, we only had X dollars to spend and the planned ceremony would be 3X.

I knew there was a problem and the function was set to be a disaster when I was appointed.

Power hungry untalented people always push to the top in any organisation.   They want the spotlight, they want the accolades.

When the Power Hungry think the project will fail, they quickly put other people in charge.  When it flops they can say; “Oh dear, I really thought Kay could manage…”  with a sad face, but dancing inside.

As I took the reins and checked the coin, I realised that a lot of what was planned would have to be truncated.

I spoke to the hotel management and because they liked me they offered a funny rate at a specific time.

They had booked a certain room from 12 noon until 2:30 pm for Meeting 1 then booked it from 5:30 pm to 8 pm for Meeting 2.

This meant that free space would fall between 3 and 5.  We could have the room for one hour,  beginning about 3:30 and ending at 4:30.   This would give the staff time to clean the room and set it up for Meeting 2.

I decided we wouldn’t alter the arrangement of the room, leaving it as it was for Meeting 1.   All the staff would have to do is rush in, sweep, fix the chairs and rush out.

At bang on  4:30  we’d leave the Meeting room to a side room where there would be some snacks.  We would take whatever was left over from Meeting 1, and fill in with z a small amount of whatever was available, as we couldn’t afford a dinner.

With so many Awards and only one hour to start and complete, I knew exactly what to do.

I picked out all those people I didn’t like and put them first.  I knew telling them that the function began at 3:30 would get them to arrive at 4:00, (the earliest).  This would be after their Award was gifted.

All those I liked I said the function began at 3:00 so they’d arrive on time.

At spot on 3:30 I took the platform, welcomed the few guests that had arrived, and began giving out the Awards to those who weren’t there.

The Awards would be taken by my second, and placed on a table at the side of the platform.

By 3:50 more people were arriving. Many of them already had their Awards sitting on the far table, (but didn’t know it)  A few were available to come up, and have the photographer snap their picture.

By 4:00 the last Awards were given, the Celebrity came to the stage for her Award and her short speech and we then went to the side room for the snacks.

All the pretentious ‘Soon Come‘ folk never got their photo snapped, never received their awards on the platform.  They got to dig over the plaques and stuff on the side table, while we went into the ‘buffet’.

The food was soon depleted, and the crowd thinned and we were out on time.  Much to the joy of the Manager of the Hotel.

And seeing those people rummaging through the Awards on the side table was why no one would ever recommend me to be Master of Ceremonies Again.