Maybe, in ancient days, forty years of life was Old. And people who had married in their twenties and had children, sat on the porch and let the next generation rule.
Today, even sixty is not old, and many people, that age or older have full lives and look forward to various events and are open to learning, and living.
That means, that way back when, parents might have brought their lives to dead stops for their children, today they continue to live and move on, and a child is one aspect of a full and busy life.
One aspect.
So Mommy and Daddy work, are focused on Work, and do their ‘best’ for their kids when they are home. But Mommy and Daddy still have lives. And the children are only one aspect.
When the child ‘acts out’, s/he often fails. For Mommy and Daddy are not going to bring their lives to a dead stop and miss the match because Bratica doesn’t want to go. They’ll leave Bratica with a baby sitter or a neighbour and go to the match, because their lives are important.
Most ‘Braticas’ after the first tantrum when Mommy and Daddy actually go without her, learns that if you throw your toys out of the Pram, they are gone forever, because Mommy and Daddy aren’t going to pick them up.
Most Braticas learn very fast, For after the first time Bratica ‘acts out’, Mommy and Daddy make new plans. Mommy and Daddy are going to the match without her. There is no last minute dump. Grandma is there when Bratica comes home from school, because Mommy and Daddy are going to the match.
Bratica now wants to come, but sorry, no.
This is how Bratica learns. If Bratica learns.
In some cases, the child ‘Acts Out’ in a kind of ‘isolationist’ mode. When asked; “What wrong?” he says “Nothing.” Mommy and Daddy stop asking and mark it to; “Bratson is in mute mode” and live around him.
So Bratson is sulking in his room when called for dinner. He doesn’t come, Mommy and Daddy eat without him. So Bratson is sent to summer camp for two months, and Daddy and Mommy go on a cruise. Sure he can throw a tantrum when they come back, but it doesn’t bother them because they’ve seen it all before.
There are two sides to the hands off feral parenting of today, where the child is never hit, and pretty much does what he pleases. That is only the first side. The second side is that the parents do what they please, and the child who thought he could stamp his foot and bring the sun to a stop finds himself in a very dark and lonely place.
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Actually, my hubby and I bith work when our daughter was still a baby. We hired a helper/nanny to take care of her. Then, we let my father-inlaw who was retired already, o come and see how the nanny is taking care of our baby.
Though, when our baby has to go to the doctor for her regular check-up, I go on leave. When we come home, we make sure that she's with us , playing .
we are proud she grew up smart , kind and god fearing.
Growing up, she only asks us when she canntunderstand her homework, which is a rarity. in every event that we are needed, we take a leave of absence from school.
At least we, are still always by her side as she was growing up.
She's now a doctor and was a scholar since she graduated primary grade until she graduated in Medicine. :)
That's how modern is our way of raising her up.
That is one side, for I was in the same position as you when my children were born... working.. but.. I didn't raise my child in the 'feral' style. She got a few smacks and learned quickly to behave herself, so she was no problem. But many parents who practice the feral style, you know they never hit the child, they never discipline the child... the child will throw him or herself on the ground if they don't get their way.. also often has parents who have their own lives and the child either joins up or is left out.