This is a true story, the only things I’m changing are the names and some locations.
Errol was married to Roberta and they had two little children. Errol had not really settled down. His company sent him and his family to another country where they lived as millionaires. Errol had never been rich so was overcome by his ability to buy and go and do.
Errol got into a kind of dancing and would go every Thursday night to a special club. He’d often dance with Tami.
Besides his dancing he was taking courses at a University and involved in a local organisation where he was able to get on the Board of Directors.
He spent very little time with his wife and children, in fact, outside of work, most of his time was spent with Tami.
When his overseas ‘tour’ was six months from ending, his wife and children went home. Then he spent more time with Tami.
When he got home he learned his wife had a long running affair with one of his bosses while they were abroad, and despite all his education and knowledge, behaved stupidly which enable his wife to get all kind of orders and restrictions.
As the divorce proceeded, Errol sent for Tami, paid her ticket, and set her up as his next wife.
For some reason Errol decided to break up with Tami, ship her back to her home and move on.
In some twisted part of his heart he needed to hurt Tami, who really had nothing to do with his broken marriage. His wife/ex-wife hadn’t known about her, as she was too busy enjoying his boss.
However, Errol decided to have a new girl friend and to post her pictures all over his Facebook page.
Maybe she was a nice girl, but the images of her dancing made her look like a $10 whore. Whether she made those pouts and smiles to be cute, it looked like he was dancing with someone he bought on a corner.
Tami blocked the photographs so if he were trying to hurt her, it didn’t work.
But, it hurt him.
Today, most employers check the Facebook pages of their employees and possible employees. One applies for a post and if not asked their Facebook page, an employer will enter their names.
If the employee or potential employee has a page of rubbish, well, that is not the kind of person one wants on their staff.
Errol’s page is full of images of he and his new gal, (who looked like someone you wouldn’t want to be seen in sunlight with). So, his employer let him go and potential employers turned him down, and he wound up in a rather small job despite his bucket of qualifications.
When you post rubbish like Errol does, you have to expect that everyone will see it. If you had a business, would you hire a guy who is fascinated by dancing with some gal who you assume has a register on her bed?
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Yes, it is true. Some people think that posting such pictures will make them famous or cute, but for psychologists, it has a different meaning. Not all people can be fascinated by t and it will reveal the kind of a person(s) they are!
Exactly. You are not hiring an accountant, a lawyer, even a technician whose face book page is full of that kind of stuff. At the highest, they don't look serious. At the lowest, they seem to be mindless.
It is true, some people do not think of consequences behind their actions on what they are doing. Some people get too caught up in what ever is going on at the time. When ever the thing that you are doing, comes into the light or someone else finds out, of what you are doing...most of the time, it doesn't always end well.
Before you do a thing, it is important to acknowledge the person that you will be hurting. I am not or never has been a person of retaliation, because I know that it may cause more harm to myself than good. Why I say this is for this reason...for example..I will use relationships.
If you are in a relationship or married and you decide to be intimate with someone else, first of all...it is wrong. Second of all, to the women...you have to understand, in society today...we are looked at, depending on what we do to our bodies are very important, especially to keep our sanity and our WORTH! We are very important to society rather you realize it or not. If we as women, place ourselves in situations where we are having sex with more than one partner, while we are with someone at the time....what does that say about us. We cannot do what men do, in that department but sometimes we don't care because we are angry at the time or hurt. Yes, I do understand what it feels like to be hurt and it is not a good feeling but you will eventually get past it! Do not lower your self esteem by sleeping around with different people. You will be respected more and someone will come along and worship you because you have maintained yourself as a woman. I realize that men will be men. There are some good ones out there.
Just think of our daughters....would you want them to grow up, thinking that is ok to sleep around. I have a beautiful and intelligent daughter, which I raised her kind of being strict. I was very hard on her because I did not want her to grow up a certain way, especially with the young children that are being brought up today. She was always a straight-A student in school because I constantly instilled in her the importance of education as a black child growing up in today's society. No, I am not saying that I was a perfect mother, because I had my faults as well. My daughter did not see me with different men all the time, she did not witness me going out with friends to clubs, looking for a babysitter so I can do what I want to do for fun....When my children were born, it was always about them...I was a single parent and it was not an easy task.I had relationships and they were long relationships, it just didn't work out.
You have to be careful what you do because it usually comes out in the end and people don't think about the reaction from a person once it has been exposed. One thing that I realize is that you can not change a mans' ways if he is not ready to change. A good man can change a woman for the better. I know this from experience because my husband changed me. So I am not trying to put us women down but you have so much value within yourself...shaking your butt, exposing yourself on social media,wearing no clothes, etc. is not cool. This does not make you look good for the right man, that is if you want a good man! Yes, for the time being....you are looking good until they get what they want and you give them exactly what they want, then you wonder why they don't give you respect or talk to you a certain way or basically cut you off.... because they already got what you put out there for them to see. That is a fact! If you do not respect yourself, how do you expect men or even your children to respect you. This is also a fact. Where are the beautiful queens at?
What you are saying is very true. And trying to hurt someone often has a bounce back. Which it did in this case.