Photo from Pixabay
Early morning, after a prayer, I started my day with urgency because I need to review more calls. I was glad that on my favorite category, it still has 7000+ calls. I was cheerful. I think I had stayed on my site for an hour that I decided to go to Facebook and checked my messages. I received a message from a good friend that our close friend which I don’t want to name passed away. I was shocked because the last time that she sent me a message was on Election Day, Monday, May 9. She said that she already voted and asking if I did too? I can’t reply to her because I was not online that time. I don’t have a mobile load too. I remember sending her a text message last Wednesday because I still have a balance of Php 4.00 on my mobile load. She did not reply back.
Then I saw her posting a flower on her timeline. I even liked it. She even liked one of my posts. I send her a message on Facebook and she replied with a funny GIF. Knowing that she passed away this morning, I still could believe so I went to her Facebook and message her. I was kind of scared to go around her timeline posts because I was in the middle of denying the news and I want to hear from her. She did not reply. My heart was throbbing fast. It wants to get out of my chest. I was trembling and shaking. I prayed again. I hope everything was a joke.
Then I checked my messages on Facebook. I did not expect that I skipped one message there. It is her message. I started reading it but I was shaking, I was really scared. I am torn between reading it to know that it is not true and reading it because she will tell me the truth. I can’t read it. I can’t cry. I felt broken, I felt melting. I became a coward. I want to vomit. I exited Facebook. I start reviewing calls again, I can’t concentrate anymore. Then, I gather all my strength after a cup of coffee. My mother handed over a cup of coffee with bread. I love coffee and bread but that was the time that I carry the food beside me without appreciating it. It felt bland. I sip my coffee. I know there was something whispering to open my Facebook personal account.
I opened it again. You know my hand was like in the movie, holding the mouse but it was shaking. I put a piece of bread on my mouth, start chewing it, then I clicked Facebook. On the timeline, I noticed that they are saying condolences to the family of my friend. I cried instantly. I never thought it was true. No. No.
I opened her message and it was about her passing. She killed herself.
I even can’t continue sharing this one. Oh no.
I am just sharing this because I feel alone. My friends are in Bacolod. I am the only one in Manila. I met them through Facebook and when we have our get together when they went to MOA last year. Even without seeing as always, as a regular close friend will do, I find peace with them. They are nice to me and we just found a friendship while we part of a certain group. I became closer to her, the one that….
I became closer to her because she became my Spongie, you know, the kind that is a shock absorber. When I have a problem and I need to have a matured mind, I rely on her. I take her advice. I thought she was doing fine. I thought she can deal with her problems all the time. That is the kind of impression she always makes me feel. I know people has its own weakness but I hardly know her weakness. The reason of her passing is even heavier, however, I can’t share it.
She said goodbye. She said that I will be missed. I miss her even more. I will miss her for life. I don’t know what to do right now. I am little scared, yet the exact kind of feeling of being betrayed to a bitter pain. I am remembering our moments before. Our virtual hugs and I love yous!. She told me that when you love a person and you mean it, say I love you. If you appreciate what they do for you, say I love you. Always say I love you. Always be nice, always be helpful. Never let a day ruin you because of negativity. Love yourself. Those kinds of words, and now she is gone.
I can’t breathe.
She told me to continue living and never do what she did because there will always be good that will come by. She knows that we will never understand why she did it but she still needs our understanding.
For a person who never said negative things. For a person who will surely cheer me up. For a person who knows how to handle a problem as it is all in the mind and worrying is useless, I could not believe this happens to her. I don’t understand. I don’t understand anymore.
I feel like I am losing myself too. I am in the midst of not knowing what to do, how to start when I know I lose a good friend. Part of me is like dying right now. I am just hiding the feeling inside me. I know there will be times I will explode because of all the pain in my chest so I ask you to please pray for me. I don’t understand. I don’t know the reason why I will lose a good friend.
I will never see her again. I will never see a new Facebook posts. I don’t even want to see her inside a coffin. I don’t want. I don’t want. I really don’t want. I hate this. I hope God will talk to me and let me understand and accept it, but not for now. I can’t. I’m sorry.
Goodbye, my dear friend.
What is the Main Cause of a Heart Attack? What is its Solution? A heart attack is the blockage of… Read More
In the vast economic arena, one term that often takes center stage, inciting extensive debates and discussions, is the "debt… Read More
De-Dollarization: The Changing Face of Global Finance The financial landscape is in a state of flux, with an intriguing economic… Read More
The curtains closed on a dramatic Bundesliga season with Bayern Munich standing tall once again, clinching their 11th straight title.… Read More
The Unfolding Story of Celine Dion's Health In recent news that has left fans across the globe stunned, iconic singer… Read More
As the echoes of the recent NBA season start to fade, the attention of enthusiasts is firmly glued to one… Read More
View Comments
Oh my God! I am so sorry Grecy. May her soul rest in peace!
OMG sissy, I am so sorry to hear of your loss :( As I'm reading this I have goosebumps. I'm sure a part of you went with her. Just remember I'm here for you... I love you!
That is life. You have to take it squarely. Face the truth. Accept the reality. If she's your best friend, don't isolate yourself. Muster the needed strength and be bold to see her for the last time, if you want to visit here in Bacolod.
By the way, I am living in Negros Occidental and our capital city is Bacolod. I want to venture to find it out. If I might be mistaken probably I know her family. I am just guessing anyway. I am very sorry to know the untimely death of your friend in our place.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I can sympathize with you because I have lost a friend and found out on Facebook. Although, our friends have passed in different ways, it is still a terrible loss. I hope that you can come to terms with her passing and know that she is not in any emotional pain anymore. It is hard to understand why someone would do this and even though they may portray to the whole world that they are feeling fine, inside they are not truly fine. I wish there was something I can do for you in your time of need. I can only be here to listen to you and to support you. Remember your friends here are only a post away if you need to talk. Take care of yourself and try to remember that you are not alone as you seem to feel. Reach out to us if you need us. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, my friend.
Well, that is life we can't never tell how long we go far in this world. Our life here on earth is like a passing journey. It's here a little while then it's gone. Maybe she send you a message just to bid you goodbye for she knows its about time for her to go. Yes, its very painful at first but that's life. We should always remember that our final destination in this world is death. A world without end. What we do on earth when we're still living will determined our fate in the second life and through the loving hands of God we will know his verdict as he will show the movie of our life. He gave us a free will to choose between good and evil and it was entirely in our hands what kind of path we are going to cross and travel.
Goodness that's so sad. It has never been that easy to accept a death. It is the hardest thing to come to terms with.but again we cannot avoid it either we still have to face it. I don't know what I would do if I heard about the demise of a good friend on the social media it is very painful. I remember when I found out that my late sister died in a road accident, it was the hardest thing ever. Confusion set in there was denial, I didn't want anyone telling me anything about my sister being no more so it was very very hard to accept that she was no more. So I can tell or feel how you felt when you found out about your friend. But with a lot of company the pain does go away at some point.
You lost your friend very sad but it is life part finding friend and losing friend as we have lost our father and our father lost his father and his father lost his father...it is a chain of life. It is continuous circle of God is called life and death circle.
Now I say that True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance. But Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.
We must not call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
Friends are the best source of pleasures and the gift of God on earth. We must respect friends more precious than a diamond.