Why Do Children Lie To Parents And Elders

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Lying is an art perfected by all of our with varying degrees from the time we were children till date. There will be no such available on the earth who would have never lied in his or her life. Here I am focusing my topic as to why children lie to parents and elders.  As I already told lying is an art which has been received by all. One can lie for a purpose which is a positive one and many do lie for causes or reasons which are negative or malefic in nature. A positive lie can be something like protecting a innocent victim from the perpetrator to the crime on him. While a negative lie can be something like causing harm to someone. Here the intention behind the lie is not a right one. Now let us zero down on some of the reasons as to why children lie.

Protecting Themselves –  Many children lie to protect themselves from impending harm in the form of shouting, beating or abuse. This is because they do not want to get hurt. Even they know that they have committed an offence which they want to face the consequence they want to avoid facing the same as that is the easiest way of not facing a problem which is of their own making. Their minds are still in the formation stage and they are still growing and learning about lives and they are not yet prepared to face the world and the consequences which one has to face for committing errors or mistakes. This makes them lie to protect them. This works once or twice but not always and the same has to be told to children and they have to be counselled.

Parents Or Other Influences –  There are many things which influence the child’s mind as they are in the growing up age. One thing in that is that they see, observe and learn what people are doing especially parents. Negative habits always come fast to anyone and more so especially children who are vulnerable. If they see their parents at least one of them has this habit of lying they see and observe the same silently from them without the parents knowledge. One more thing which will justify lying to them is they will think. When one of my parent is lying why cannot I do so? Here there is no fault in what the child is doing as they have not learnt and developed their minds to the levels of introspection, being rational, objective and other such traits. So never lie before children or teach them how to lie.

Performing Badly – Sometimes it so happens that parents have very high and unreasonable expectations from the child. The child genuinely wants to fulfill the parents ambition but despite all his or her effort sees that the result is not upto the mark. This may be in a academic exam or in a sport where parents have high hopes on them. The child wants to tell the parents but is unable to do so as he does not want to break the parents heart.

This leads to the concept of delaying by saying the results have got postponed or have yet to be announced for some reason of the other which they make up. They lie this way because they are unable to face the parental expectations and are unable to express themselves before parents due to the same. Here this is not a lie which the child is following due to a bad habit but it is a lie being told to see that  delaying the news will not break the parents heart till that time.

Lying Due To Vengeance – Here the thing is the child may be having a sibling rivalry and feels that the parent is not taking care of him or her because of the other sibling. This leads to jealously and when he sees the mother serving something to the other sibling it leads to anger and this in turn makes his thinking vengeful. But in reality the mother may be taking care of both the sibling equally well which this child is not able to make out.

One more reason is he may want more than what the other sibling is getting.  So to get even he will lie at such a time that it will result in damage or hurt to the other sibling whom he has started hating. Here the lie is due to a result of insecurity, anger, vengeful attitude and other factors at play. Such children need constant counselling and love and affection. They should also be assured in word and deed that they are as important to the parents as the other sibling.

Stealing – This is a common habit which children learn as they grow up. It is nothing but a part of growing up process. It may be from as small as stealing some food or sweets from the house and eating to something big as stealing a big amount of money from the cupboard which has keys. Bad influence, peers, movies, wanting things fast and easy  and other  things are reasons behind it. Here the intention is for a bad purpose which they are aware that it is a wrong thing to do and should not be done.

But they are unable to control the urge within them to steal as they want something like money for viewing which parents will not permit him, indulging in some bad habit like smoking, consuming intoxicants etc. Again here all this they have seen their parent doing these things and are also wanting to try out these things as them. Here both the child and the parent are at fault and both have to be counselled and treated at a rehab.

Collective Lying For Adventure – Here in this case it so happens that either children of the same house or friends of the child chalk out a plan and would want to run away from home. This is not because of  any bad influence. But it is that their minds have not yet matured and they do not know how to go about things. They would have asked their parents for the trip either to a pilgrimage, or to a relatives place or to their  native place or they would just want to bunk the school and push off as a free bird out into the world. This is quite a dangerous thing as the children would not know the consequences or the problems they may encounter due to their being young.

They do not know how bad and cruel the real world is. They go as usual to the school with their bags and never return home in the evening as they would not have gone to school and would have gone out wherever they wanted directly from the home once they left in the morning. Parents will think they are in the school till the time when night comes they realize what has happened and they run to the police station and they try to search them out  and if these children are lucky they get traced. Most of the times they are lost and never found. Here just the thought of seeking some entertainment and adventure leads them face to face with trouble. Here actually neither the child not the parent are responsible. As the growing age made them vulnerable to carry out such an act.

These are some of  the reasons children lie to parents and elders. Here the answer to stop all this is for the parents to have a good physical, emotional relationship with loads of love and communication. They have to be taught some discipline and lots of counselling is essential especially during the formative years of the child. As that is the time when the child commits maximum mistakes. That is the age to learn. But parents have to see that whatever it may be the children will never break their trust. Once this is inculcated majority of the above problems or issues will be resolved.

Each stage of childhood is different and the  mind tends to think differently and they do not know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. Their brains are in the formative stage and growing. They are susceptible to many influences and bad things tend to come first in humans that is the universal truth. Keeping all this in view parents have to teach children that whatever their situation may be in life they will always stand by them. Once trust is built and they come to know parents are going to be their through thick and thin then these problems will subside. Parents should be a positive influence on children they have to be careful of their behavior before children. This is part of parenting and a good parent will see that a child does not lie as there will be no need for him to with that parent.