I used to be a caregiver during the previous winter and I can only speak out of my own personal experience; the care giving is not nice or romantic and at the end will drain your life energy and will for a joy.
The first reason why I think I developed this condition, with being anxious and depressed is because I lost a job that I loved so much. I was not even thinking about it, because my work time was only 2 to 3 hours per day, so in my opinion I could manage everything in that time frame. A problem arose after one cousin said why should I left my duty in the most needed time when my ‘patient’ will need to be taken cared of.
When I came to an idea that another person takes a partial responsibility for this elderly family m ember everybody were out of a deal accusing me of being a career chaser.
I have to stress it out, I never cared for an older person in my life and I have no medical training whatsoever.
The second reason why I felt so bad was because of the same family members, my cousins I grew up with, suddenly decided not to speak with me. At first, I thought it is something by accident and that I am not reasoning well. Then I thought it has to be something wrong with me, maybe because all of the team are better positioned but me, have more money or whatever. Then I noticed it is not even that, they simply don’t like me and they don’t want their precious wives fall victim to my help seeking. I can’t believe people can be so selfish.
Even some of my friends started to avoid me, because now I couldn’t spend hours visiting them or having long discussions about less important things, so they had no use of me complaining how life is so harsh at me. The last thing I get was that they thought I am seeking pity over myself or that I am not willing to pay a bill for coffee or to celebrate something. It’s not uncommon that one of them come out without wallet or some excuse they don’t have money with them, but I never minded from time to time.
My entire family set me up with a hot potato. The third reason why I fell into the depression was because my patient didn’t like me at all. He was saying all kind of things to my family while being verbally offensive every minute in front of me. If I was late for one minute, I left him to die. If I came too early, what I am doing there so early. If I decide to spend a night because he is vomiting, why I don’t give him any privacy. I also found d extremely difficult and almost insulting to take care of a completely unknown person and above all an old man like that.
In my opinion, he should be taken care of by people who are closer to him in the family and who live closer to him. But, ones who live closer either have obligations and are not physically fit, and the ones who live further away, are just not in position.
All male cousins instantly decide like it is an unwritten rule, it has to be a woman to take care of him. They all refused to take care of another man.
The fourth reason why my health and mood started to suffer is being constantly worried about my own kids and how other people saying I am not taking care of my family. Same people who were saying that I am taking a lousy care to that old man also were spreading gossips how badly now I treat my husband and children and that it had to come out sooner or later.
That was a big great hit on my feelings and self-esteem because I cherish my beloved family more than everything, so when those people with evil mouth started to spread lies, I had to deal with great stress.
I also had one neighbor coming and telling me that my house is not as clean as it should be.
The fifth reason why I am in bad condition is because I slept less and less and eat in appropriate food without taking a great deal of exercise. I was never thin but my job provided me a great deal of the exercise and dancing and now when I lost it my weight started to accumulate again.
As we all know when we are not satisfied with our self-image we get into the bad mood. I also had no time for my daily routines and I was exhausted all the time. I also pulled out a few muscles and my back, but nobody cared enough to help. It was terribly painful and my doctor didn’t even prescribe me anything, but I had to buy painkillers all by myself.
I had no rest at all, and because I was eating all the bad food – I was up all night there was nothing but snacks and sandwiches – my blood picture was ruined. My immunity was destroyed easily after I had a flu and some colds, so it was another problem.
Six reasons why I went down emotional is the constant accusations from the part of old man family. They were coming to visit and they were very disappointed by me and very angry sometimes. Some of them went to extend telling me what kind of woman I am, how I can’t do this or that better and how.
It was annoying to listen and it was humiliating to be treated like this. An old man didn’t waste any breath to make me feel even worse.
N one of them took a second of their time to think what they are saying and to think how that impacts me, it was like I was treated like a house furniture.
The seventh and last reason why I was feeling bad and my anxiety went berserk was – I was providing care giving for free. Absolutely nothing of this was done for any sort of compensation or money. My family imposed this task on me like my obligation, and they all expected that old man will die. The ungrateful old monster survived my ‘bad’ treatment and upon seeing what and how they treated him he went to the lawyer and changed his will. Nobody knows what.
So, do you still have questions why caregivers suffer from depression and anxiety?
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I am also a Certified Nursing Assistant for 24 years and I love taking care of people. One thing that I realized in this profession is that this is something that you have to enjoy doing or it just will not work.
First of all, you have to have patience in this field in taking care of the elderly. You have to understand, once an elderly person becomes helpless, their not gonna like that, so they are going to react in all type of ways. I was often called names from the elderly, abused sometimes from them because they were angry.... but it is ok because I understand that it is not easy for them as well.
I can go on writing about the nature of this field but I just wanted to let you know that this profession is about the individual who can work with people by taking good care of them and protecting them from harm, companionship, etc. It can be stressful at times but I enjoy being able to take care of an elderly person and get good recognition because my work does speak for me...in which case, I have received it from family members and the patient/client/resident.
You failed to understand something - I am not a nurse, I have no medical schooling whatsoever, neither this was my job which I was doing for money. I was not paid for this and my entire life suffered and still does because I was bond to be there by his side the whole day.
I lost my real job at fitness center and I also have three juvenile children, the oldest is eight which were not seeing me but my husband had to take care of them pus his job sometimes had to suffer too.
I would take your valuable comment as pro b ono instruction, but your conditions are not even closely similar to mine.
You do your job for 8 hours, go home and receive a big nice pay. It is easy to be patient and nice when you get in hand a hard cold cash for it.
But why did you tolerate them for taking care of an old man with no compensation at all.
Didn't you try looking for another job instead when you lost your job?
And oh how ungrateful that old man you took care of, by maligning you to your family. Imagine taking care of a man not related by blood to you for free. How can they do that to you.
No wonder, you got so depressed. I am sorry, you undergo that bad experience.
It's time for you to look for a job and be happy with it.
Good luck and I hope you will find a job that can compensate your effort well and be happy having the job.
My family put it in a way it looked as it is my duty and it is unreasonable to take any compensation because everybody has financial problems.
I know that caregivers get payment, but i was just trying to be nice.
That old man was absolutely disgusting to me, but we ARE family related, still he is not my father. My father is still vital and well.
Finding job in my situation is more than complicated as I have 3 children and my mother in law who lives close to me is in no condition to babysit the entire day.
So, now I am looking part time but there is nothing fitting and at teh time I am home.
Thank you for kind words, I am trying to get out under the weather as soon as possible.
Caregivers become depressed frequently in caring for residents/elderly. Most people think that this profession is easy, but it is not an easy job. I am a Certified Nursing Assistant of 24 years and I know the stressful things that come along with being a caregiver of someone or many people. Sometimes, we as caregivers, might work for a company and they are short-handed. This company might not be able to keep employees so the back-lash is always on the ones that they choose to keep. Sometimes the ratio of how many residents/patients that you have to care for on a day to day basis, is too much for one caregiver to handle. This goes on constantly with certain companies and they are getting away with the mistreating of employees through this particular phase. I am very aware of the ratio- CNA to resident/patient within a 3 different shift basis. You have usually these particular shifts...7-3,3-11,11-7 and sometimes you may work 7-7 shift, both am and pm. These particular shifts, you are required to care of a certain amount of residents/patients, that is legal by the state. If you are required to take care of residents/patients that are more than the state requires, then your employer is at fault within the state laws and regulation. I must admit, these employers are often getting away with this.
I feel that something needs to happen for this situation to be resolved. I can not be the only mouth that puts these things out there...It is wrong for us as caregivers to go through this treatment at any cost. This is one thing that becomes stressful and you may become depressed if it is not handled and you are continuing to work at this place, trying to hold on to your job.
I do believe that the state is not on top of the care in these places like they should be. They do more attacking on the caregiver more so than the employer. That is not right because the employer is not always right but the employer has ways to hide their wrong....regarding paperwork when DHEC comes to visit. They usually get heads-up when DHEC is getting ready to come, so they go around the facility and make sure every employee is on point by knowing what to say if asked a question, and falsifying information on paperwork, etc. I have seen it all. Everything that you bear witness to working in this profession, you hold on to that...its wrong! This also causes depression because you know in your heart, that this action is wrong and really you can't do anything about it. If you try, you will be retaliated against, by being fired,lied on, etc.
Caregivers sometimes go through these obstacles or they might be going through something else....usually using the things that they are experiencing as an excuse to become abusive,neglecting a patient, etc.
This is just as bad. If you are considering a field in being a caregiver, it is not an easy job. It requires patience, to be able to handle the elderly in a certain manner of being passionate about the way you approach them and the warmness that they should get from you as a person. When the elderly meet you for the first time, they should feel warm inside, not scared of you because you talk loud, you don't look at them in their eyes, etc. Rather you realize it or not, this sets a presence with them. It might take a minute to be able to warm up to them and it might take a minute for them to warm up to you as well. Once you past that test, it will become more easy because the patient will most likely let you in their world. No matter what I have experienced in this profession, I will continue to value the love and passion that I have in caring for our seniors'!
Which part of my answer you did not comprehend?
- I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL NURSE.
I WAS NOT PAID FOR THIS.
Read text before getting into discussion.
You are a nurse. You are paid for your job.
This is not about being a nurse in hospital or home care.
I think a job should be enjoyed and not to feel in despair. If the caregiver is not enjoying the nature of the job, then it is better to change a career path. I think healthcare-related should know how to deal with the job descriptions and how to deal with their patients. At some point, medical professionals had undergo some training how to deal the psychological or mental state of their patients.
This was not my job.
I am not medical professional.
You did not read my text.
I didn't deal with PATIENTS.
I was taking care of family member for FREE.