When You Realise You are The Scorn

Every organisation, whether religious, political, professional or social has various elected or appointed offices.  There may be a President or a Chairman.   There may be a Secretary or Treasurer.   And of course, depending on the nature of the group, specified officers for the specific areas.

These are all listed somewhere so you can ask; “Who is the Vice Chairman of the Finance Committee?” or “Who is the Legal Affairs Officer?”   and someone can look it up.

But there is a very important position which is not listed, not mentioned, only inferred.  That is the post of ‘Scorn’.

The Scorn is the person no one listens to.  In fact, no one ever asks the Scorn for his or her advice.  It doesn’t matter what role the Scorn plays in real life; in this group, s/he is the Scorn.

Now no one joins an organisation with the expectation s/he will be made the Scorn.   The newbie will join, pay the dues, (if required) and participate as any other member.   It may take a few meetings, it may take a few years of membership before the Scorn recognises his or her ‘post’.

Sad to say, some Scorns never realise they are no more than a mixture of comic relief and the ‘other side’.  That is, whatever the Scorn suggests, the other side is taken.   The Scorn’s policy might save the organisation money, might move the organisation forward, might be the best possible choice; But!   As it came out of the mouth of the Scorn, the instant response is ‘No!”

The Scorn may not realise that his or her presence is desired at the meeting to become the punching bag or the outlet for the two minutes hate.   The Scorn may not appreciate that the organisation prefers to lose thousands of dollars than accept the idea.

However, most Scorns do realise that they are the Scorn.

Maybe it comes after finally being recognised, stating a position and then having it trashed, only to be repeated by another member and be accepted.

Maybe it comes after being left out of deliberations, or being told a seat is taken.

When a Scorn realises this, it is very sad and the Scorn might simply walk away.   If the Scorn does, people will ring up the Scorn almost begging a return because without that object of hate, meetings are boring.

If you realise you are the Scorn, stop paying dues.   That’s your first act.  Simply let your membership lapse and wait for someone to ask you about it.  In some cases, no one will because they rather pay your way to keep you there then let you go.

After that, start arriving late and leaving early.   If there are refreshments, refresh.  If not,  arrive late and then leave.

Skip a meeting.

Say nothing when you show up, have no opinion, abstain when voting comes around.  Keep to yourself.  In some cases people will try to pull you into the discussion, in some cases people will watch you in expectation.

Skip another meeting.

Show up whenever there is some sort of event where there is free food.  If there isn’t, just stop coming.  Say nothing.

Someone will ask you why you aren’t coming.   Don’t admit you know you are the Scorn, simply say you had to go (wherever it is).

Then, simply stop attending, stop paying attention to the meetings.

If done right, everyone will just forget you without any fanfare.