Unsend Message For My ex

Hi admins. (and readers if ever ma post ni) Dli ko tga school ninyo, I don’t know why all of the sudden naisipan naku na mag send og confession dri. This is supposed to be my last message sakung ex before ko niya gi block (Because I told him so) but then wla na send so dri nlang naku e send basi diay mabasahan niya. Hahaha

I don’t know if kbalo ka how happy I am for the past 3 years and for some reasons it is all because of you. Kablo ba ka na for 3 years gi hulat tka, nag asa ko na one day you’ll realize nga ako lang diay gihapon. Kablo ba ka how many failed messages ang wla na send everytime maka inom ko and gina try naku ingnun how much you mean to me. Pagka morning pa naku mabasahan and ma realize akng katangahan na wla diay koy load bantug wa siya na send hahahaha kanang kataw an kos akng friends kay nag sge diay kog yaw2x sa phone gina away ang globe kay nganu dli tka ma contact everytime tawagan tka kay again wala diay koy load. You don’t how much I tried na pugngan akng sarili magpaka Basha nmu saying na “”Ako nlang. Ako nlang ulit”” even though I knew na I’m already too late to win you back. Even though I knew na you don’t love me anymore.

I remember, we were too young back then and sobra na hadlok ko na maguba atong future because of love. You loved me so much and I? I was coward enough to show you my love. Na duwag ko na panindigan ka. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry if mas importante sa akoa ang studies before and better future for us over you. Over our relationship, over my love for you. And the only way na naisip naku is to hurt you para you’ll hate me and dli na ko nmu samukon. I’m really sorry if I caused you too much pain just like what you said tung last na nag storya ta. I don’t know if you’re only making fun with me but just in case, sorry. I’m already 4 years late, I know, but I’m really really sorry. Gusto pod naku mag sorry kay Ann. I know dli na ni maabot sa iyaha but if ever tell her how sorry I am. I’m sorry for trying na agawon ka sa iyha. I’m sorry if naging reason ko na mag cheat ka, mag lie and worst mag tago og sekreto sa iyaha. I’m really really sorry. I envy her. Sobra akng kainggit sa iyha cause you really proved to me your love for her, wla ka nagpadala sakua despite of the fact na gi himu naku ang tanan para bawion ka. Gi hatag naku tanan, even myself. And yet you never left, wa nmu siya biyae.

There were lot of times na maisip naku na maybe naga balos ka pero always mangibabaw sakua ang katangahan and pag tuo na dli nmu ko kaya pasakitan intentionally. Na you still love me too. Na maybe we still have a chance. For 3 f*cking years wala naku nahimu mag intertain og lain kay gina isip naku maybe one day mu balik ka. It was always been you. NO until now ikaw lang gihapon. Yes until now. I know it’s wrong. Mali ang higugmaon jpon tka og mag keep kog asa nmu. Mali ang agawon ka sa taong naga love nmu og love pod nmu. I knew from the start na gina gamit lng ko nmu. All those sweet stuffs, thoughts kag actions nmu towards me was just a game. A game na gika pildi naku but you know what? I don’t care. I chose to stay kay maski gina ilad ra ko nmu it made me so happy, genuinely happy. Happiness na I never felt with someone else. But it was also a kind of happiness na mali, happiness na hiram lng. Happiness na selfish. That is why I am now letting you go, I am now setting myself free from the heartaches and pain. For the past 3years na kontento ko sa nahatag nmu, nalipay na ko with just one message na gikan nmu. I felt contented with the false hopes. Na bulag ko sa thought of us having a second chance. For 3years nagpaka tanga ko nmu and for 3 years I only loved you, only you that I forget to love myself too. For the past 3 years indeed na you gave me joy and yet you also gave me sorrow. The amount of happiness I felt was double or even triple the amount of pain I’ll have to endure in order to be with you. For 3 years I forget to respect myself and settled for less. Which I don’t deserve. I suffered and wasted gallons of tears and you’re not even aware of it. Maybe you do but you don’t care. Kbalo ko ana tanan, na feel naku na but I never hated you, I just can’t hate someone who means so much to me even if that someone treats me like sh*t all this year. But hey, finally after 3 years gi kapoy na jud ko. It’s not that I don’t love you anymore its just I learned to love myself. I learned na I don’t deserve this, na shouldn’t settle for less. Na I deserve the best. Na loving you wasn’t enough reason para ibaba naku akng sarili. Na I also deserve to be happy na walay kapalit na pain. I know makaya ra naku ni, sakit man kaayo ang e let go ka for now but I know it would be worth it.

Thank you for everything. For the laughters that both of us shared. For always making me smile. For showing me na somehow I’m important to you. I don’t know if nag assume ra ko but I felt your love. You made me feel na I’m worth it, that’s why I did hold on. Maski tagilid kaayo ko. Hehehe maski out of 100 I only have 1% chance na you’ll choose me. Nag hold on ko because you gave me reason to do so. For 3years you’re the person behind my answer sa pangutana na “”Para kanino ka bumabangon”” Hahaha and for 3 years isa ka sa pinaka nag dalag kulay sakung buhay. (oy nag rhyme) but seriously, thank you so much. I love you do (pet name naku niya) but this is finally goodbye.

PS: Second chances are rear and if ever you’re lucky enough na matagaan og second chance grab it, treasure and keep it. But always remember you deserve the best, everyone deserves it and you shouldn’t settle for less. Wla ko man nakuha ang love na I always wanted. But I never regret the decisions I made tong mga bata pa mi. Na I chose studies and career over love (we both have stable jobs) Ang love mu abot ra na. In God’s time. Tiwala lng, He’ll give you the perfect guy on a perfect time. And if ever you’ll ask me kung nag regret ba ko na nagpaka tanga ko sa iyha my answer is NO. Wala koy pinag sisihan because at least I tried, I don’t want to live my life na puno kog regrets, puno kog what ifs. And I know naay purpose si God. There’s always a reason behind. Naay reason why nag cross amung landas ulit, oh kung nganu wla na mi nagka second chance. And if ever in the end siya lang diay jpon, if ever dli lng jud ni ang perfect time namung duha. I’ll be the happiest. But if ever it would be someone else I know his the best. I know because gikan siya kay God.