Unremembered Trauma?

Do you think it’s possible to be badly impacted by trauma you don’t remember? I know I’ve been badly abused and such growing up, but I’ve always felt like something has happened to me that I don’t remember. Something which happened when I was so young that I don’t have a solid memory of it. And I feel like it caused me a lot of psychological harm. I know that sounds very strange, but given my life and the odd things that happened in my family when I was growing up – I feel like anything is possible. There are all the family secrets and things I’m still uncovering after all.

I know when I was a very young child, I was sick quite often. We didn’t know then that I was terribly allergic to dairy and my illnesses began when my mother began to give me cow’s milk. No one was able to make the connection though. I know one time I was rushed from the doctor’s office to the hospital across the street and admitted overnight though. I have a vague memory of standing in a metal crib crying but that is it. I only know I was admitted to the hospital as a young child because my aunt told me when I was a bit older.

I don’t know if that one night would’ve been enough to psychologically harm me as much as I’m thinking though. I also know abuse I went through began very young – toddler age, but I feel it was something different than that as well. Something I haven’t yet uncovered. It’s very scary and unnerving to be impacted by something when you don’t have a clear sense of what really is going on. I feel like I really don’t even know my true self sometimes.