Transference Is A Love- Killer Point In Marriage

Transference has its root from the word transfer which means “to convey, carry, send from one person or place to another” Transfer also means “to make over title to property etc to another”. Transfer is further defined as “to transfer one’s self or be transferred to another. To change from one group to another. In a nutshell transference of love to the children of the marriage means that a husband or wife becomes more interested with the children of the marriage than the spouse. Some couples care and show more affectionate to their off springs more than themselves. The evil of this is that the children of the marriage have separated the love of the husband and wife .Couples transference sometimes cause troubles between couples. This is because the couple who feels cheated reacts by withdrawing from family programs. In some families, the husband buys clothes, ornaments and decorations for his children leaving the wife. Some wives also do same in the distribution of food .Some wives who are deeply in love with the children of the marriage sometimes forget to keep food for their husbands. Sometimes the husband goes out to eat outside his family because his wife, the mother of the family has kept her husband out of food distribution. Husbands and wives should remember that their children are strangers in their marriage. The couple notice this when their children go to high school or graduate. So many children do not like to stay with their parents after school .They are more comfortable living alone, only to visit their parents at intervals. Some will marry and settle with their spouses and not visiting their parents for a long time. At this juncture, the husband and wife remain at home either in active service about to retire or retired. The only companions remaining for the couple are themselves. This is why a couple should not allow their love to die because children are in the marriage. At old age love for each other becomes more important. Parents are only caretakers for their children. Those who maltreat their husbands or wives to die early because their children are grown up should remember that they will need themselves later when the children must have matured and living on their own. Husband and wives transference of love to their children are not too good. In case of death or absence of any of the children, sorrow takes over. Transference of husband and wife in their marriage is a sickness.