Toxic Relationship? 4 Tips for Letting Go and Moving On

A relationship is” a connection by blood or marriage”. The meaning of Toxic is, “acting like a poison”. A marital relationship involves two principal persons-a husband and wife. The toxicity of a relationship is felt when one out of the partners becomes a poison to the other partner. Toxicity in marriage can be caused by behaviours or habits which a partner does not want to tolerate in the relationship. Some of the toxins include smoking, snuffing; infidelity, impotence, drunkenness, lying, gossiping, violence, nagging and other toxins not mentioned here. There is a stage in a marital relationship when the mentioned issues may be pushed aside to enable the marriage to continue. These are four tips for letting go and moving on in the marriage.
1. Consideration of Age of Partners: When age is considered, wives in a marital relationship are mostly cheated. This is because a wife should put her age into consideration before thinking of separation. Once child bearing starts, wives start getting old and out of shape because of loss of blood due to child bearing. It is the shape and age of a woman that attracts a man for marriage. When a woman is younger, men are interested, but when she starts getting old and with children, most men will not like to engage them in a relationship. Also men who are really old do not want to separate from their wives. They decline going into another marital relationship when they notice that they are no longer strong. They cannot do most of the chores which their wives do. What remains is tolerance, letting go and moving on.
2. . Consideration of the Bright Future of the Children of The Marriage: Most partners are reluctant to get separated when they see that their children are doing well in education, sports, social and economic engagements. They see that their future will be bright through their children in spite of the poisons produced by either of the spouses. With this idea, they forget about what may really divide them and pursue more actively what will unite them. The partners will be eager to see that anything about their children’s’ future is not neglected. The couples know that their old age will not be sorrowful if they invest money and time in their children. This will not bring the toxins of a partner to the fore; instead a partner can resort to ridiculing the offender to see whether that habit or behavior can be eradicated.
3. Considering the Troubles of Beginning Again: Many couples stick to their toxic partners because they do not want to begin another hassle of a new marital relationship choice. Some partners believe in the slogan that “the devil you know is better than the one you do not know”. When a man or woman gets separated in a marriage, if he or she wants to marry again, it becomes a new beginning. If a partner in a marriage considers the time it took him or her to build the relationship he or she is about to leave, he or she will rather tolerate the toxins in the other partner.
4. Considering the Stigma of Life after a Failed Relationship: Stigma means a mark of disgrace or reproach. Partners in a marriage are often placed on social disgrace. Some of those who left their marriages regret to have done so when they face the ridicule in their offices, at their new apartments, in social gatherings and other private and public engagements. Many people see divorcees as misfits who are impatient, wicked and rude. This can make divorcees lose jobs or fail interviews for jobs which they qualify. The stigma worsens when a divorcee wants to contribute his or her idea towards family welfare, unity and issues that will encourage progress in the family. It is pertinent to note that many marriages are really passing through problems, but prayers and the grace of God keeps a marriage in proper alignment.




  • Samuel Ekechukwu

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    • Couples should think well before leaving a marital relationship.Considerations,tolerance and patience should prevail.

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