Society is changing in many ways. In these changing situations we find the responsibilities and expectations in families and relationships are also changing in a broad way.
Few decades ago it was responsibility of adults to take care of their elders .Children were responsible for their parents wellbeing and all their requirements .Parents were also happy to choose the option of living with their children as they enjoyed their company , spending time with grandchildren and the care and love they received by living with them.
Now days it’s common that elders prefer to live alone. There are few reasons responsible for their decision –
1 – Young generation is very busy- Young generation is very busy with their work, weekend’s enjoyment, social media, personal and professional problems and other responsibilities .they are left with less time and patience to take responsibilities of elders. Elders also understand the demand of modern time so they choose to be on their own.
2-Different lifestyle – It is the matter of generation gap. The both generations have their own style of living. Old generation usually like to life a disciplined life like- to sleep early ,wake up early ,eat home cooked food etc. while new generation have a totally different life style. Eating out, late nights working or outings are part of young generation routine; they do not follow disciplined lifestyle like the old generation. Elders find it difficult to adjust with them.
3- Matter of freedom- This is the most important point. Everyone loves his freedom. With the changing time the mind set of everyone has changed. Old people also don’t want to lose their freedom so they choose to live alone although they find it difficult to survive on their own because of growing old. By living in their own house they can do what they want to do, they can spend their time how they want to, at the same time they do not want to disturb the freedom of their children so they choose to set them free.
These are some reasons which lead old generation to choose to live alone no matter how much they love their children .
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I do not think they choose to live alone but circumstances are such that they have no other alternative.
Yes, we circumstances are definitely responsible, but they have started to give importance to their freedom, lifestyle and habits and they don't want to loose that. At the same time they understand the importance of freedom for their children and don't want to disturb that.
Actually, some old people choose to live alone because they don't want to live the house where their children grew up.
But if they have a choice, they would want a companion or even one of their children and family to live with them . However, the children when they already have a family of their own and they are making good in life would choose that they also have their own house with their family.
Besides, some old people choose to live alone because they don't want to be a burden to their children. In this case, the children should provide them a helper at home to help the old people.
In this modern age, the old people are with cellphones and tablets. At anytime, they can call their children for help.
You are right that attachment with the house where they spend most of their lives and where their children grew up means a lot to them and they don't want to leave that house.
Sometimes even if a child wants to compromise and try to live with them in their house they may feel guilty of coming in the way of their progress and don't feel really happy or satisfied,In that case arranging help and required facilities is good idea.
I am not sure if we are in the same country. All I can say, it is not possible for the family to let the elders stay alone. Elders are living with their family. It wasn't a choice but it is related to culture in the Philippines.
With an exemption for those elders who are abandoned their children. In the eyes of Filipinos, it is a disgrace to let their elders live alone. My grandma at 99 this year still taking good care of her children and grandchildren.
Yes, we are not in the same country. I am Indian and I am talking about the changing conditions of the society. It is our culture also to take care of our elders and do not leave them alone. Many families still do that. But in the mordenisation of society and changing demands of the busy life have effected many old practices.
Agree with the the point mentioned in the blog. But the point is still more complex. If the elders are staying on the own independently then it is a different thing. But what I observe in India is that the generation nowadays would want the elders not only to take care of them since the time they were born as children but they want them take care of their children too. As they may be both working and hence cannot take the responsibility of the child well. I would only tell parenting is a joy an experience to be cherished. If a couple cannot take care of their own child then how will these people take care of their parents. That is the sad fact of life. It is better not to expect anything from the current generation as they cannot take care of themselves in the first place.
As for the few who do take care of their parents, the children and themselves properly. My salute to them as they are being a proper role model for their children as how they should be when they grow up in life. A good blog touching a very important subject.
You are right that many people from new generation not only expect their parents to take care of them when they were children but also take care of their children too because they are busy with their career. That's really selfish mindset.
Thanks for the appreciation.
Thanks for sharing your point of view.
I agree with your point that a few elders like to stay alone. One reason is that they cannot be active any longer. They also need more rest than what is available when they are in company of others.
We also have people like us who like company of grand children and our son/daughter and enjoying their company. good day
You are right there are still elders who like to live with their children and grandchildren and that is so nice.