Connie worked for the King of the Bosses From Hell for just over three years. During that period she was more robot than woman. She changed a great deal, but didn’t know it.
She woke up at 7 am each day so as to be ready by 8 am when her lift came. She had a phobia of being late.
During her time in the office she stole minutes to escape Hell which the Devil tended to uncover.
When she escaped Hell and took another job, she was able to move her time a bit, so her 8:00 pick up often became 10:00 so her alarm was set for 9 am. She was uncertain when she was to leave, and this caused her stress.
She was not used to being treated as a human being or with respect.
After a few months she began to tone down a bit, breath, but it was nearly a year later before she felt like herself, sort of.
She realised that all the pressure that she had lived under for three years had not be excreted. Belatedly, she appreciated that she need down time. Real down time.
For some it is ‘nerves’. They have a breakdown of various levels of stability. For some it is physical illness, often constipation or loose bowels. For some it is a level of stress in which anything can set them into a tirade.
This is because, like Connie, they don’t give themselves ‘down time’.
We are taught to be useful, to fill our days with work of significance. Not to waste time. We are taught that we are to be, do, think, and not ‘let ourselves go’.
This is like wearing a girdle or harness.
Connie was lucky. She realised it. And so, she began a period of ‘sloth’. She took time off from work on occasion to sit home and watch Television online. Seeing all the shows she had missed because she didn’t have time to watch them.
She did nothing, not scrubbing the bathroom or dusting or arranging, or doing anything useful. She relaxed and let the time flow. She would walk in the garden, back and forth, not tending anything, not studying, just aimlessly walking back and forth, and standing in the sun.
Slowly Connie began to feel like herself. Slowly, she excreted those years of Hell.
For Connie, it was the Boss From Hell. For others it could be an abusive relationship. She didn’t ‘work’ at getting over it. She didn’t ‘work’ at anything. She let herself relax and drift without any pressure and her only real commitments were an occasional visit to the office and bi-weekly supermarket journeys. Neither taxing, nor with any emotional context.
Sometimes to get over a trauma, whether imprisoned in one horrible situation or another, one doesn’t fight, one gives themselves a nice period of ‘recuperation’, in which they do nothing.
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Its never easy and to some it does not make any sense but i would be to differ.
One has to sometimes step back and heal.
Sometimes we really have to get some solitude to make things up in our own way without the disturbance of others.
You are quite right. Many people do not aware of it. They go on experiencing the hell than trying to come out of it. They bear the filthy language of bosses, they tolerate their coercion. They do not, even raise their voice against this suppression.
The trauma is very dangerous They come across it in many generals also. They know about it through their friends also. Sadly, they do not have the knowledge to come out of it.
My friend who was an employee in the judiciary went on experiencing the trauma. Only once, he came out loud before me expressing the problems he was facing in his office. I suggested him not to go on leave but to keep themselves busy in the company of friends, doing some yoga, reading books, watching TV, taking good diet, meditation and visiting friends
One fine day I came to know that he met with an accident while driving the vehicle and expired on the spot.
Whatever the things we decided in our lives, we should take all the responsibilities. The sad thing, some people are in denial and blame others for the wrong doings. We need to be sensible in deciding for ourselves and learn how to stand up if being failed into something. All the wrongdoings are done due to having no choice.