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Since the time I lost a friend, I don’t want to get separated with my loved one. On my second week working on my new company, my tears were falling whenever I went out of the house. Beside I don’t want to get separated with my dog, I worry a lot at home because my father is left alone. My father have diabetes and he will feel dizzy at times when his blood sugar raise and get low. If there is no one that will able to look after him it makes me scared even more. I always have this prayer while walking outside our house for God to take a look after my father and everything at home. I hope everything will be okay.
I am not only worrying whenever I go to work. When I am sleeping I have this fear that one might not wake up again. I know it is useless to feel this way, but anything could happen. What I do everyday is to pray. I have the lists of prayers and I am reading it all the time. I make sure I able to pray for our souls, for the sins that we are making, for the decisions, for the our shortcomings. I make sure I am ready for that, though I know I am not. I am just making myself paranoid yet I know being ready is still the best way.
I even pray for my brother and sister that goes to work. I hope they able to get in and out of work, safe. I have the same prayers to my friends. I make sure that I did what I have to do with them, even though I know they are not doing the same. I don’t care if they are not praying for me. I only know that one of my purpose here on Earth is to pray for my dear ones and that is what I am doing.
I worry, I get upset and I bothered myself to much with this feeling. I should not exhaust myself with imagining things that are not happening. However, I can’t stop. I choose to be ready.
At present, whatever I will go home after work, I need to hurry. Besides having difficulty in riding public vehicle, the traffic is severe on my work place. I am always in the hurry because I need to spend time with my family. I want to balance everything, even though it is hard because I spent most of my days at work and on the road. I want to balance every thing because I know it will help me. Working in a fast paced environment is exhausting, you need to do something that you enjoy after a day’s work to release the tension and pressure. That is also the reason why I need to go home, immediately.
There will come a time that I will able to accept the big changes. I am on the adjusting period as of the moment and I am kind of slow on this area. There will come a time that I will not be too emotional with what is happening in my life. I am praying for positivity and will appreciate if you will pray for me as well.
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Sis, you sounded very paranoid, you are constantly worried over somebody and you can't put your feeling at ease.
You are constantly in a panic state, it is not healthy and stress you out easily.
Get someone to take care of your dad, maybe your neighbor or relatives when you are at work. Or at least get your neighbor to call out dad once a while, make sure he is OK. Give you a call if there is silence.
If you are worried about your siblings, informed them to give you a text message or a missed call to notify you that they are on their way home.
I know that you meant well, you love and care for your family.
You don't expect them to do the same, but you will go into a depression mode for a long time.
That worries me too.
Think of solutions, don't stress yourself with unnecessary worries that might not even exist.
Your emotional control will affect your new job.
Praying for your quick recovery.
Worry isn't going to solve anything. I saw an interesting video from HG Gaur Gopal Das. He says, "Do you have a problem? Can you do something about it? If yes, then why worry?"
"Do you have a problem? Can you do something about it? If no, then what is the use of worry?"
It's obvious that you are in denial for the loss of your friend something that is hard to take. But death is inevitable we cannot stop it neither can we avoid it and it doesn't choose whom to attack. You need to go and get some counselling first before you loose your mind. Your friend won't be the first or last that's the painful truth. You need to get over her death and no a on stop worrying so much about what will happen tomorrow, how about concentrating on today first and when tomorrow comes you take it as it comes. Worrying will yield you no results. Instead it will get you sick or even make you go crazy, take a day at a time take time to pray and ask God to grant you some inner piece that's what you need.You don't have to keep worrying about what will happen your siblings or dad that's God's work let him deal with it.You can't have control over what happens to everyone around you including your dog you can only do so much. So stop stressing yourself and love with the moment.