Some Marriages are Doomed from Start

A friend of mine was very important in politics.  Whatever her past, I don’t know.  But she was in her late forties and had never been married.

She was active in politics and hadn’t that much education, (which was always used to demean her, and which she often accepted), and one would have expected her to link with a political activist, like herself, who could assist in her campaigns, and knew how politics was played in Yard.

But she didn’t.

There was a man, a Big Business Man, who had been married before and had big children.  He had actually studied Physics, in fact, if you said ‘Rocket Science’ you’d be right.  Alas, Jamaican has no Space Programme.

He got a job in an industry and held high position, advancing to being the President of the Company.  He knew nothing about politics, about ghettos, and gangs, and whatever passed as daily life in Yard.

Whether he married her for her political connection to serve his business, I don’t know.   Whether he fell in love with her, I don’t know.   Whatever brought them together, I don’t know, because I learned they had been dating when I was invited to the Engagement Party.

I knew him, slightly, in fact, to be honest, antagonistically, because of my position as to the plans of the Company he was President of… I blocked his attempt at what would be a monopoly.

However, that is not the point.

The point is that they were engaged and going to have a mammoth wedding, and everyone would be there and of course I was going; I was invited.  (She was my friend).

At the wedding I was in a position I couldn’t really see their faces.

I have a habit of positioning so as to see the faces of the happy couple as they take their vows.   It always tells me if this is a ‘real’ marriage, or if it is a marriage for money/power/position, or whatever that is not LOVE.

When people marry for LOVE they beam, they shine, their smiles are incandescent, they veritably quake with joy and excitement and passion.   It is the Happiest Day of their lives, and no one can imitate that internal glow they have.

These marriages last.  Of course they last, these people really love each other.  They know each other, they love what they know, and no one, nothing, is more important, than the other.

If you go to weddings and look at the faces of the Bride and Groom, if you see that glow on both of them, you’ve seen a real marriage.   If you don’t see it on either, then it’s a business deal.  If you see it on one and not the other, you know the Glower is being played.

I didn’t see the faces at the altar so was unable to know if I was seeing a ‘real’ marriage.

At the reception she was glowing, he looked pleased.

There is  picture of them in which she looks twenty years old, she is that happy.  He looks happy, but not as happy as she was.

After the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, and return to every day life, I somewhat expected that giggling or happiness, but she was back to her business as usual style.  I assumed she could separate private from public life, so didn’t take it seriously.

Later on, when she achieved her goal I didn’t see him bubbling, as one would expect.

I know that when someone loves another, every triumph of the other is taken as a personal triumph.   It’s like a mother beaming when her child gets an award,  she would not be happier if she got an award.

As time passed I heard various rumours but didn’t jump on them, for our friendship was frayed.   A lot of people pushed in to become her advisers and consultants, and get paid for their ignorance and ambition.

As time passed, one heard less and less of him, and there were many trips abroad he took alone.  He wasn’t mentioned after that, although did appear with her at many functions, but he seemed more an escort than her husband.

It was getting clearer that whomever she thought she had married was not her husband, and that he had married for reasons other than love.

The marriage is now in name only as she they both are in their Seventies.