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I’ve always had a hard time giving up on people. what do I mean by that?
I’m almost 28 and I must say I was almost never capable of ending a relationship that was toxic. Why? because I feared loneliness more than anything in my life.
Same happens with friends. People tend to change. well I’ve been having a hard time dealing with that. Now I notice that the person I considered my best friend has changed. we don’t seem to get along same as we used to but somehow is hard for me to give up on her even if I’m the only one trying to keep this connection between us alive. the fact is that many times in my life I felt used by the people I considered my friends.
So I told myself this: I have to give up if this relationship doesn’t keep my happy. due to the fact that she got involved in a romantic relationship right now she doesn’t see anything buy her current boyfriend. it exhausts me to be the only one who struggles in order to make our friendship work. so I am just going to move on and if at some point in our lives our paths are going to cross again than she’s more than welcomed.
I must admit it brings terrible pain to my heart that we got in this situation but there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s just an involuntary decision that she took and I can’t force her to chose otherwise.
it’s hard to deal with the fact of losing someone you really care about. I know I tend to get way too much emotionally attached to people and things. this is the reason why people hurt me so many times and mistaken me for a fool.
The conclusion is that I need to learn how to let go
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I feel you completely cuz I've been in such situations myself, so I very well know what you are talking about and what you are going thru. Yes, it is painful when you are the only one doing your best to keep a relationship with someone, whether it's a friendship or romantic. In your case, I'd definitely move on with my life, and would leave that selfish person behind. It's not worth your time or energy to waste on someone who doesn't care about you any longer, or make you feel blue, neglected, sad, not respected enough etc. Trust me, you will feel such riddance when you draw a line and move on, after some time you will feel peace in your heart and will be much more happy without that person. I did exactly that and can't describe you how much better I felt after taking that burden off my shoulders of being constantly the only one making an effort in relationship. That person after some time tried to reach me again, but I didn't land my hand. I stayed strong in my decision to leave that person in the past. And, it's best decision I've ever made. Anyway, wish you luck whatever you decide to do. All the best.
it's great that you were able to hold on to your decision. I guess I will have to consider your advice. I have no alternative since this situation only brings me sadness and I know I deserve better than this
I have always enjoyed my own company. I can be alone all day and not notice it. I have friends that can't go to the supermarket by themselves. They fear being alone. They get into totally toxic relationships.
You are born alone. YOu have the capacity to be alone. Don't destroy yourself with a false 'need'.
I don't have a problem in being alone for one day either. I tought about going alone on a trip to morroco but I didn't have the courage
I've been like this before with toxic relationships. I'm way too forgiving and will give people too many chances. I'm just too nice. It's gotten me hurt many times and you'd think I'd learn but I don't. Recently it got me hurt a lot as I had a professional treat me horribly and unprofessionally and I gave them as second chance - only to have them put me through more unprofessional and inappropriate behavior! I'm working on having better boundaries and not letting people take advantage of me. It's hard but it's something each of us has to learn so we don't get hurt all the time.
I have the same problem as you. I guess my parents taught me to be to respectful or else I don't explain myself what stops me from telling people what they would deserve for their behavior. Anyway let's just hope that not all people are the same: using others for their best interest
Always remember that the constant thing in this world is change. People change everyone does with regards in relationship, career, status, individuality, personality and that's an obvious fact. We cannot do anything about it but to accept changes in our life. We should be vigilant in trusting people to whom we gave our trust. Sometimes we felt betrayed by those people hurting us without knowing it. Life is though and most often people are mean and uncaring.
is it's true. the sad fact is that now always people invest the same amount of emotions in a relationship friendly or romantic and this is why such situations occur
Nope! You should have no give up to anything. I just posted a Blog post and it is the answer for all of your problems! It is still on pending status so I will leave a link here sooner once it got approved.
Cheers! I am newbie and my name is Kent David Adran
I realize that it's just a blog post and not the key to all of my problems. anyway an advice is always welcomed
First let me say this and this is my opinion, people who like to be alone usually are people who are trying to hide something so that they are not found out. But anyway there are times when we would like to just have some me time which is okay but when it's okay for you to stay away from everybody else then that's a problem. Here's the thing letting go is one of the hardest things to deal with but it can be done. It has to be something that you are willing to face and undergo. If you do not have the heart or the willingness to move on then you cannot let go. You have to sit down and look at the situation in all ways before making a decision, because this is what will make or break you. Like you I have also been in the same place where i had to let go it actually took me a good 2 years to finally do it and it took a lot of courage. I looked at my situation then and saw that am the one who was actually putting in a lot of effort to hold the relationship, we never seemed to agree on small issues and I thought am I really doing myself a favor by being in this relationship? Am I gaining or loosing out and that's when I decided to go out and never looked back.