They married young, and were hard working and ambitious. The wife never liked the sex act. She found it a bit painful, a bit unsatisfying, but put up with it in the early days as part of the passion of a new marriage. As time passed, after she had her child, she disliked sex even more.
The situation resolved itself, she went on a business trip, he went on an adultery trip. She knew about it, because a friend of her’s knew the slam the husband was enjoying.
It was, for the wife, a gift.
The husband no longer pestered her for sex, and she, using business as an excuse, moved into a guest room, so she could work without being disturbed by his comings and goings.
On the face of it, they seemed the happy couple.
He would often lie about ‘working late’, having to go to another city for a meeting, being tired, and she was the most understanding woman on Earth.
The husband loved her more when he was slamming his gals then he ever had before.
She, freed from the bedroom could excel at work, go to the gym, and once and a while, take a lover to ascertain if it was her husband’s clumsiness, her lack of desire for her husband, or some other reason. She enjoyed her affairs because of the clandestine nature, and the lead up to sex.
For years the marriage went on and on, the Slams the husband had never being noted, never being mentioned, and as far as he knew, his wife was totally oblivious to his affairs.
She knew more about the women than he did, for sometimes, she’d have a friend of her’s introduce him to a possible, just to keep him occupied.
She had all the benefits of being married, all the benefits of being single.
To go out of town on a business trip was not a problem. To be gone a week, was not a problem. To have drinks with her friends, to join clubs, in short to NOT be home, was not a problem, for her husband took her every absence as a chance to have sex with a current slam or find a new one.
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Is this a true story? It probably is. I don't know of any people in a relationship like this, but couples have “arrangements” I suppose. Although if both are aware of what's going on, that's not really “cheating”. We won't split hairs over it. :)
But there are 3 reasons a woman stays with a unfaithful man.
~ LOVE. No matter what anybody says “Love can cover a multitude of sins.”
~ MONEY. She can't (or she thinks she can't) take of herself financially. In psychology I think it's called “learned helplessness”.
~ TRADITION. She lives in a society where her back is up against the wall. She either kills herself, escapes if she can, or lives in hell!! It ain't right. It ain't fair. But that's her reality.
It is true. Many women don't enjoy sex. It might be the man's fault. Also, a woman might marry a good looking man who goes to seed and becomes repulsive. I can think of one man who was beautiful in college... I mean movie star... and then... like twenty years later... don't look.
If you choose someone based on their looks then you made a life choice for the wrong reason. We all get old and wrinkled. Except … unless you're Michael Jackson's mother. That woman does not age! :)
Some men do change “personality” once married. But then the question remains? If he tricked you, why are staying with him? He deceived you! Run away! As fast as you can. What else is he capable of doing to you? Marriage is about love and trust. Not lies and deceit.
Marriage is a commitment for life. If you don't want to be committed, then don't get married. Only women in certain societies are FORCED into marriage. Other women have a choice so they should choose wisely.
There are some people I adore; physically they don't attract me at all. They are friends and nothing near romance ever happens or comes near to happening. There are cases in which the person you marry... and looks always have something to do with it... is not who you married. Not just older but .. unattractive. Like a big belly or a way of holding their face in this sour look they didn't have when young.
What's the use of staying in marriage, if both of you isn't committed to what you have promised before God, when you got married.
If she finds sex painful, then early on she could have told her husband, so her husband will make a way not to hurt her that way, whenever they are lovemaking.
They could have even approached a gynecologist about her pain so it could be given a remedy.
Besides, there are many ways for a woman not to feel pain during their lovemaking, but instead enjoy it everytime it's being done.
Although it may be shocking, for a number of people, sex is not important. They enter a relationship and put up with the sex, but never really enjoy it.
I am not a religious person.
But I believed that marriage is sacred in the eyes of God.
Both married couple should stay in marriage in loyalty.
Since I am following the doctrines of Roman Catholic, the believers will say that marriage should be forever.
There are some changes of the rules in the church.
They are allowing a divorce case if things are not working out.
As for me, I do think it is still better to follow old rules of the church.
It is simply because adultery is a big sin.
It is also clear in the Ten Commandments of God.
Adultery is a major sin. But many men commit it. Most women will walk out. Those who don't have a reason why. I was giving the three major ones; money, having an affair of her own, or not liking sex.