The Person You Don’t Want To Be

I am going to use an Actor because it is the easiest example. The behaviour of this person is not unique. You can see it at work, in the supermarket, at a party. You see it on the bus or at a sport’s match.

It is the kind of behaviour you never should practice, ever. No matter who you are, what you become, where you go, never become this person.

As a young man, Alex realised he was quite handsome. He was tall and athletic and considered himself ‘superman’. As his ego got bigger his friends got less, but they were nobodies.

He was no brilliant student so got into a minor community college then transferred to a more prestigious institution and majored in Theatre.

During his years there his ego expanded. Many of his class mates who did cinematography wanted him in their productions. That was because he was a big stooge. He’d overact, he’d be so pompous people would smile. They liked watching him. The Instructor would think the production was a bit better than it might be for he too, was amused.

The only person that didn’t get it was Alex. He thought he was selected because of his ‘talent’.

When classes were finished, Alex, as others went to find roles in little shows here and there and go on castings. A soap wanted a kind of character that Alex matched, and he got the role.

If he were more intelligent or more down to Earth he might ask, ‘why me?’ and then he’d be told that they wanted a big buff type, so focused on himself that he wouldn’t be aware of what was going on around him. The kind of ‘husband’ who didn’t realise his wife was unfaithful, or the boss who didn’t notice his workers were goofing off, because he was so locked into himself.

Alex never asked and imagined he got the role because he was so ‘talented’.

Everyone on the set soon got to hate Alex and so, for peace sake, his character was killed. However, he did get a role in another show.

Instead of considering, why was my character killed off? He went on to behave in his presumptuous manner. Everyone soon hated him and again, his character was killed.

He never got another major role. He never worked at the same place twice. He got older and was no longer the handsome leading man. He could play the father or grandfather if anyone wanted to give him a job.

But no one did.

If he’d had the sense to realise what people saw when they looked at him, how he made them feel he would have changed. He could have. If his ego wasn’t so big he would have realised why he got this role, what his character portrayed.

If he was aware, he would have been nicer on the first set. If offered a role on the second set, he could have explained to the directors and they could have written him out for a few months while he shot the other show and brought him back on occasion.

But killing off his characters meant he could never come back and the set would be quit of him. Which is what everyone wanted.  And he, as an actor, should know that when your character is killed, you are not coming back.

To not be Alex you have to be alert to see yourself as others see you.  You have to be aware so that you don’t make a fool of yourself and ruin your life.

You might be the top (fill in) but that doesn’t give you the right to make other people feel like dirt.

If as Alex, you are a ‘legend in your own mind’ then by being nice, by being humble, by listening and trying to see what other’s do, you won’t make a fool of yourself.