My caretaking adventure is not over yet

For a few months I was taking care of this elderly family member, and my unsettling feelings about having problems with his closest relatives still are in the full heat.
I didn’t do anything wrong, to be absolutely true to you, I did all they asked me to do, take in consideration this was not my duty in the first place.

But, for some reason, I take it as a failure. First, they treated me really bad, and instead of being grateful and showing appreciation they showed me nothing but disgusting behaviors.
Yes, it is troubling me and I can’t live up to their high standards.
But these people can’t live up my standards either.

I don’t know, I know that I am talking ng way too much ad n I gossip about this all the time. Even in my writings, I am deeply affected by these problems.

Allegedly an old man took his fortune to a lawyer and assign everything to some merely family of a distant third cousin who has nothing but a hope… You know, in one way I am happy about it. Because, after all, if that is the truth what they say, he finally found his soul.
I like how this case could end up but I am unsure about my ability to deal with these people on a daily level.

When the whole case out broke, and I believe it was more because an old man survived but not because I took such a lousy care about him, I felt extremely down and completely random people came to me to ask what is going on with me and how I can be so awful.
How can I be so awful? And what is going g on with me?
That was really out of the place for them to ask.

Only by those two questions, I started to doubt my abilities to cope with anything at all, including g my everyday life and family.

I mean I function and that so, but I really feel awful and I don’t like talking to anybody about it.
The last thing I wanted is my own mother to call and ask me is all that true. My only defense is that an old man is alive but to whoever I say a thing they just way away from their hand and say anybody could do it even better. So if anyone else was more fitted- where were there when I was picking him up?

Above all, I appreciated so much when a few people said I twisted old man’s brain so he started to act unpredictable. Trust me when I say this, that old goat already had a twisted mind. I saw it with my own eyes.

While he was ill and near to his life being terminated by that immunity problem and other health problems, he was his family’s saint and savior – and when he put a foot out of a certain grave, I will not exaggerate too much if I say it was my effort there, he became crazy and I was one to blame.