Marriage things

Does it sometimes feel like everyone’s reluctant to get married these days? That the whole social scene’s just too hectic, the ladies smoke and drink just like the guys, and there’s a whole lot of loving’ going on – especially at work?

Well you’re right, that’s exactly what’s happening. It’s part of a trend seen all over the world: as people’s incomes rise, they tend to marry and have their children later. Basically that’s because a woman who’s got a well paid job stands to make a lot more money over her lifetime if she delays having children. Especially when her career prospects are good and her income’s likely to rise. And because women want to wait, guys have to wait too! Neither feel the need to marry or settle down if they’re not planning to have a family anytime soon – and anyway, the whole thrust of modern society is to live for the moment and have a good time…

All of which means that well paid young people are spending a greater proportion of their lives single and childless. They have few responsibilities and so they have plenty of money to spend. And because when you’re young you believe that nothing bad can ever happen to you, they tend to indulge in risky behaviors. Heavy drinking, smoking. Everything from bungee jumping to promiscuity.

And all this is particularly noticeable when groups of people work together in high stress occupations. Because working in shifts, long hours and lots of pressure tends to make people feel romantic towards one another. It happens absolutely everywhere, even though some organisations disapprove quite strongly. But that never stopped anyone. People just become more careful, and so it’s less obvious.

But why are office romances so common – and especially where people are under pressure?

Well, the more you’re around someone, the more you tend to trust them. They feel familiar – and safe. Easier to chat with. And because companies generally choose employees who fit into the corporate culture, people at work tend to have similar interests, attitude, values, education and income – and so they make ideal dates!

Then if the work’s exciting, challenging and creative, you feel valued for your ideas and energy. With people who’re also at their brightest and best. You get turned on by being in a winning team. The adrenaline flows – and that’s well known to trigger erotic feelings. Especially where men and women not only spend long hours together, but are struggling to meet scary deadlines. Like trial lawyers, hospitals, police stations and newspaper offices. Teams bond through all the stress. And a large part of our lives are spent on the job – making meeting other people difficult. So it’s no wonder we fall for each other at work.Which means that all this romance at the office is actually a ‘normal’ feature of modern life. It’s seen everywhere – especially among young people. Later of course, as they get older, have families and start to take a longer term view of life, people change. They drink and smoke less, become less promiscuous and more ‘responsible’…