This quote I got online and its been on my mind and my dp for as long as I can have it. I have never for once seen myself as a priority, my husband, kids and loved ones were the top of the list. Today, I came across a video on Facebook about a mother lying in a bath tub with a glass of red wine and doughnuts by her side. She spoke to us mothers and said, she had dirty dishes, laundry not folded for days, some in the washer yet to be dried, toys all over the place, but you know what, she does not give a damn. I was more than pleased with that video. I had to leave my comment. My comment was that I could relate, that was me before, but not anymore.
Well yesterday, before this video came out. I got off work early, drove to my son’s school, picked him up and decided to go for a movie with him. I left the dirty dishes, left the unwashed clothes, left the unfolded clothes, left my unmade bed and just went out to have fun. I was ready to spend all I had on me to see that we had so much fun. Movie was KING KONG (SKULL ISLAND) . We were both pleased with the movie, had hot dogs and pop-corns, brought our drinks with us to save some money. I felt so good, never felt any better. Movies were not made for weekends alone, but even during the week.
On getting out of the theatre , it was dark, we went straight home to a very untidy home. I asked my son if he was still hungry, he said no. I was fine, and that was it for the day. I showered and sat on the couch to my favorite ID channels on Crimes and Investigations. I didn’t bother with the dishes and all was left untouched. I went off to bed and did all I hadn’t done the previous night. I felt satisfied, because I didn’t have to do it, till it was convenient for me. After all, people hardly visit these days, once we have communicated on all social media networks, it’s as good as seeing one another.
The week before this video on Priorities, I went shopping for myself only. I did not take care of any other person but myself. Earlier in the year, I spoilt everyone except myself, I didn’t feel foolish, I just had so much love for them all and forgot myself, or put myself last. I drove to a friend’s shop with the intention of buying one item, but I left there with 10 items instead. I didn’t feel sad, but happy. I wore the clothes with so much joy that anyone who saw me knew I was happy.
Life should be about you once in a while. I do most of the work at home, my kids help when they are so into it. I hardly paint my nails with such beautiful nails because of dishes, I wash and clean, I do everything. I’m happy being a mother, but once in a awhile be selfish and spoil yourself. I have so learnt to be the first, without you, these people you look after cannot function, so your mind needs to be at rest. I have learnt to love my body, myself and my well being. I need a sound mind and health to function well. I take my time now to go to the club for a game of squash and aerobics. I do not have to wait for the kids to be out of the house to achieve all these. It can be done if you find time for yourself by making yourself a priority. I have discovered that things must not always be done at your expense, do it leisurely.
It’s not selfish, It’s necessary. Live life to the fullest and be happy. Are you happy? I am happy.
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Congratulations for realizing this when you did. Enjoy your time and your life when you can. I used to be the same always thinking about the others in the house although I wasn't married yet. When I moved out to live alone my sister joined me and it was all joy and smiles until i realized I am forever doing stuff and never think8ng about me. So when I found out that i can actually do stuff for mys3lf and not feel guilty that became part of my life and nothing would stop me. I would go for facials, manicures, go treat myself have cake, go for ice cream with friends, weekend outings and that really have gave me much joy. I realized that when you are stuck up in doing stuff for people you will always forget yourself. We used to be told that when you get a job always pay yourself first then other things follow. I guess the same applies when you are home as well. I can tell you, you keep up with what your doing and everybody around you will be happy not because your doing stuff for them but because you are happy. That part of leaving everything and just relaxing is also a way of relieving oneself from stress I've been there too done that and i don't ever regret doing it.